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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-08-2006, 06:13 PM   #41
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Re: Too much togetherness

Good Post, Linney!
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-08-2006, 06:25 PM   #42
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Re: Too much togetherness

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor
Divorce is not an option as we live in a community property state and I'm not about to split hard-earned assets, no matter what.
Maybe it should be. I divorced 14 years ago, splitting the house (it was our biggest
asset at the time). My ex and I remained good friends. She moved back here about
a decade ago. We get along much better now, since the conflict areas have mostly
disappeared.
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-10-2006, 06:21 PM   #43
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Re: Too much togetherness

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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-11-2006, 03:53 AM   #44
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Re: Too much togetherness

i had the opposite view, the counseling made things worse. even things we didnt argue about were brought up and then we started fighting over them. we ended up divorced 6 months later anyway.

i thought this particular counseler was not very good. here we are fighting in her office after she opened up a can of worms and we were there because of my inability to communicate with my ex and not have her turn it into something totally unconstructive and just yelling.


soooooo what does she say? i can see you 2 have alot to discuss when you get home.

duh! hello , we are hear because she cant communicate right? whats there to discuss?
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-11-2006, 03:56 AM   #45
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Re: Too much togetherness

Quote:
Originally Posted by OkieTexan
It always saddens me to hear about marriage difficulties at a time in life when we expect to be realizing our dreams and celebrating our accomplishments. However, as Caroline said, it can be an eye-opener and lead to a better life ahead. Only you and the DW can decide the right path. I wish you both well.

I went through a divorce in 1989. It was painful; but it was the right thing to do.
Reading through the posts made me think of the famous palimony lawyer

Marvin Mitchelson (1928-2004)

Look him up on Wikipedia. It is a short; but interesting article. One of his favorite lines to use on famous actresses seeking divorce:

Actress: Why is a divorce so expensive?
MM: Because it is worth it!

As in the article about Mitchelson, life is full of ironies. None of us really knows how it will turn out!

Back in 1989, I never expected to be FIRED at this time in my life and never thought I would be happily married again. I was wrong about both!



best thing about divorce is she only gets half.. staying together with my ex and her credit cards geesh... in fact they stole one of her credit cards and i didnt even report it. the bills were less
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-11-2006, 04:01 AM   #46
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Re: Too much togetherness

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enuff2Eat
i agree with many responese here. this is a case of money OVER happiness. i am so sorry to hear about your situation but if i were in your situation i would do the following thing

1) seperate room and occasionally sex is good
2) be together when you have companies or at a party so that u can talk to others too
3) ask her if you can "do" things with her once every two week and you will do the same for her. for ex. tennis everyother tuesday for her and bowling everyother thursday for u.
4) last, keep busy and communicate, comunicate...

last last option, get a girlfriend on a side if she let you.

enuff

theres alot of truth here. my observation and experience is that men tend not to go anywhere when unhappy. men tend to bear the relationship as best they can and then end up more ofton than not with a girl friend on the side. its only when a man gets backed into a corner and has to react will he get divorced

women on the other hand when un-happy will usually be the ones to initiate divorce with no problem. being alotmore emotional then men women sometimes can react with the speed of lightning to filing.
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-11-2006, 04:09 AM   #47
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Re: Too much togetherness

one more comment : my ex and i were soooo opposite and to be opposite it takes the right mix of personalities.

my ex would go what are you doing saturday?

id respond well since we have nothing planned im going to go mountain biking.

she would be angry now internally and not say anything , she was hoping id say i thought we would go to the art museum.

but since im not the kind of guy who would even think of saying it, she needed to be the type to say dont make plans saturday, we are going to the art musuem.

but she wasnt that type and so things got worse and worse.

my current wife and i are like mirror images of each other. she loves hunting and shooting and mountain biking. sometines i think i married me. we say the same expressions at the same time. its spooky

when we met we owned the same 2 models of vehicles, our kids have the same names and the kids have the same hobbies, favorite movies and even collect the same things, nike sneakers and sports memorabilia.
both my son and his fiance and my wifes son and his fiance have the same anniversary. its soooooooooo scarey


i giess i learned in my last marriage i was kind of selfish in my own way so here i met someone who was just like me, this way i didnt have to change and go anywhere. ha ha ha
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-11-2006, 06:13 AM   #48
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Re: Too much togetherness

Remember that marriage is a verb - not a noun. It requires action and activity every single day. Can't just let it sit on a shelf. Not all that easy sometimes.
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-11-2006, 07:23 AM   #49
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Re: Too much togetherness

Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107
...Nike sneakers...
You both collect Nike sneakers?
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-11-2006, 01:04 PM   #50
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Re: Too much togetherness

Or an occasional python boot... :P
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-11-2006, 02:17 PM   #51
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Re: Too much togetherness

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich_in_Tampa
You both collect Nike sneakers?
I worked for the firm for several years and was astounded at the number of folks who collect them as works of art. In fact, many employees in R & D have degrees in architecture and sculpture.
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-11-2006, 05:51 PM   #52
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Re: Too much togetherness

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich_in_Tampa
You both collect Nike sneakers?

both my wifes son and my son have literally over 100 pairs of new unworn nikes. is that bizarre or what.........
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-11-2006, 05:55 PM   #53
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Re: Too much togetherness

geeeesh after all this counseling i cant decide if i want to be a financial planner or doctor phil.
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-11-2006, 06:39 PM   #54
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Re: Too much togetherness

A little over 12 years ago NIKE lost a container of shoes in rough seas. It broke open and out floated some of winter line inventory. Those shoes were used by marine science to plot currents, and finders had great fun trying to match them up. There was even a contest to see who could decorate them in the funniest sea related theme. : Doubtless there are examples in someone's collection.
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-11-2006, 08:05 PM   #55
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Re: Too much togetherness

On a lighter note, this thread's topic reminded me of a conversation with one of my clients. He was just settling into retirement, and when I asked how things were going, he admitted having problems being around his wife 24/7. He told me that he was working on a home improvement project earlier that day while she was looking over his shoulder. In an attempt to get a break from his wife, he told her he had to run down to the hardware store to get some supplies (knowing full well that he had everything he needed to complete his project). As he tried to make a run for the door he heard his wife cry out "let me grab my purse and I'll keep you company". :
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-11-2006, 08:30 PM   #56
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Re: Too much togetherness

My cousin was in town this weekend with her 3-year old. Somewhere in there talking about her husband she said "I've figured out sometimes I just have to go away and leave him alone for a while", but the way she said it I knew she didn't understand. I told her I was like that...sometimes I just need to be alone, and I can get easily overloaded in a social situation. She can't relate...she's all-social, all-the-time, but at least she figured out her husband isn't and needs breaks.
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-12-2006, 03:51 AM   #57
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Re: Too much togetherness

if you ever want to see attachment just have an affair when you are married and marry the woman you had the affar with . ooooh boy its always in the back of the new wifes mind and she may not let you out of her site,,, ever. in fact i bet one of those tracking bracelets could be in your future. ha ha ha


by the way i have no first hand experiance in this, i read it in a book. hmmmm or did i see it on nova once.
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-12-2006, 04:30 PM   #58
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Re: Too much togetherness

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigMoneyJim
Somewhere in there talking about her husband she said "I've figured out sometimes I just have to go away and leave him alone for a while", but the way she said it I knew she didn't understand.
I love my wife and I love our kid, but in over fourteen years of parenting I've never been left alone in our house for more than a few hours.

Sometime I'd like to try that for at least a couple days, maybe even a week. Spouse seems to enjoy it when the kid & I are traveling!
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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-12-2006, 04:56 PM   #59
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Re: Too much togetherness

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords
I love my wife and I love our kid, but in over fourteen years of parenting I've never been left alone in our house for more than a few hours.
Hmmmm. I wonder.... Oh, never mind.

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Re: Too much togetherness
Old 12-12-2006, 06:01 PM   #60
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Re: Too much togetherness

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords
I love my wife and I love our kid, but in over fourteen years of parenting I've never been left alone in our house for more than a few hours.

Sometime I'd like to try that for at least a couple days, maybe even a week. Spouse seems to enjoy it when the kid & I are traveling!
well heres a little helpful hint if you get the chance. DONT WATCH PORNO MOVIES AND EAT CHEESE DOODLES. HA HA HA HA
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