Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-09-2005, 11:08 PM   #1
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 147
Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board


I ER’d and …..

10. …. My portfolio tanked….

9. …. My money ran out…

8. ….. I was bored to tears…

7. ….* I began fighting with my DW/DH…

6. ….* I had a heart attack in the first 6 months…

5. ….* I couldn’t keep up with inflation…

4. ….* I had to use the credit cards to pay the bills….

3. ….* I moved to a new community and I hate it….

2. ….* I had to go back to work….

1. ….* It was the worst mistake I ever made….


Is it just me or do others* wonder why we don’t get more input on the Board along the above lines.* I know people don’t like to discuss their troubles but……* * Seems to me that by and large we get a pretty rosy picture of* life in ER from those who have done well in ER.* There have to be some lessons to be learned from those who hit a few potholes* along the way.* *Don’t ya thnk?* * Wonder what percent, overall,* are* successful and happy in ER vs. percent struggling and unhappy in ER?* * My guess would be about 50-50.* We only hear from one of those 50s on this Board.* *Maybe we should have a separate section –“Big Mistakes to Avoid!”* or “Don’t Do This!”* something like that.* Anybody have any other candidates for the Top Ten we don’t seem to be hearing?

Donner
__________________

__________________
"Remember, if you come this way, don't take no shortcuts and hurry along as fast as you can." (Virginia Reed, Age 12, Donner Party Survivor, 1847)
Donner is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-09-2005, 11:48 PM   #2
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,617
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Ah, well, I guess we've all been trying to forget about Ted's final post. He's definitely in the "ER is a crime against society" category.

Another category would be "I'll never ER, I'm having too much fun" or "I'm going to keep giving back to the community". Several acquaintances of that ilk feel sorry that I'm not working. I guess I should regret never finding my avocation, but I suspect that ER is my avocation.

I think terminating ER for financial reasons is viewed as an admission of failure, which most of us wouldn't find necessary to air in this forum. In fact we'd probably have bigger things on our minds (like finding a JOB) than presiding over an ER postmortem. I also suspect that reasons #1-8 are really evasive responses to the actual #9 or #10.

I've posted plenty of stories of military who can't/won't turn it off. I was quite alarmed by one acquaintance who ER'd right into the classic signs of chronic depression and sought "workplace therapy" as the only answer. I think he was back at work before his military terminal leave was over.

When we've shared our ER aspirations, many of us have been admonished "You won't last long, nuke". Perhaps that hardens our commitment to avoid the workplace, no matter how miserable our life has become. ("I'll show them-- I'll never work again!!")

But I think we've seen plenty of concerns about boredom, spouse friction, health, inflation, and "where to live". Most of us active posters have faced those concerns and resolved them (one way or another). Those who haven't resolved them have probably decided not to waste any more of their time on this board trying to educate the rest of us losers...
__________________

__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 01:28 AM   #3
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,385
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donner
I * Wonder what percent, overall,* are* successful and happy in ER vs. percent struggling and unhappy in ER?* * My guess would be about 50-50.* We only hear from one of those 50s on this Board.* *Maybe we should have a separate section –“Big Mistakes to Avoid!”* or “Don’t Do This!”* something like that.* Anybody have any other candidates for the Top Ten we don’t seem to be hearing?
I agree with Nords. Quite a few of these things have been aired here. It is true that for a retired person who usually has pretty much already cast off from the dock too much of this is not very pleasant reading. The same is likey to be true of heavily burned out younger people who feel at the end of their respective ropes, and are mostly looking for reassurance to help them do something that they feel they must do if for no other reason than they feel they cannot go on any longer. A poster who continued to make negative posts might come to be seen as a troll, given the context of this board.

I think it should be obvious to anyone that in many many ways life with a good job or a good COLA pension is more secure than living off savings. Possibly even more fun, provided you have enough power at work to avoid being humiliated and harrassed. So I take it for granted that most of us who bugged out did it at least to some extent to escape pain, rather than to find pleasure. Lets face it, we have had recent threads on re-using plastic bags! How cool is that?

I quit working too early because I was a work malcontent. I wish it were otherwise, but it wasn't. However, I have done fine and with a bit of luck that will probably continue.

Many people who have been around here awhile also know that ER stressed the hell out of my marriage. When we were still busy raising children it was from good to great- but when that was completed she felt she needed to make up for lost time in an education, career, and ego-gratification- accomplishment sense. Some people will subordinate their desires to the group or couple- some won't or can't. I found out that although I thought my wife was the former, she was the latter. A marriage goes downhill quickly if you try to restrain your mate's ambitions, or his/her spending. etc. It doesn't necessarily affect your love for one another, but it does affect the ER venture. It would be as if you decided to buy a pizza parlor that could only fly with both husband and wife pulling some hours,* but after the leases are all signed one of the partners decides that he/she has always wanted to go back to school and become an actor. The worst part is that he/she may be right- it was the thing they were always looking for but never realized. The problem is that the relatively inflexible situation of the pizza parlor often doesn't have the slack to withstand this sort of change.

There aren't a lot of attractive options in these situations. If you get divorced while working, she can't take you job, especially if she has one. She can* take a wad of your money, and use up a lot more in divorce proceedings. If you are retired the situation is worse, because all you have in money and this is hard to replace. So your freedom of action is constrained to say the least.

These topics are downers that anyone who has the brains to put together some meaningful savings and who hasn't spent his life under a rock will know without being told. After all, this is only an internet board. We could all be street people posting from our local public libraries, trying to keep warm, trying to find some contact and solace in a cold harsh world. Well, not all- some have posted pictures.


Mikey
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 05:08 AM   #4
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 54
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Library opens early.

Not downsizing until its too late. Keeping a vehicle with low gas milage, high repair costs & insurance rates. Or keeping several vehicles. Too much house that needs remodeling, dusting, grass to cut, snow to shovel & has high real estate taxes & utilities.

Children returning home, children returning home with children, children returning home & leaving children. There are a lot of seniors raising their grandchildren.

Being a victim of fraud.

Bad luck.

Death or divorce of spouse or illness of self or spouse & impact on income, pension, social security & medical costs.

Still trying to keep up with the Jonses.

Celebrating & spending too much money at the start of retirement.*
__________________
FunGoals is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 05:29 AM   #5
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 557
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Donner
This board is not the only place that I hear about er from people who have er'd. I'm slowing down, but not yet er'd. But I have 10-15 people that I know and see on a regular basis (some weekly, some every year for annual events, some in between) who have er'd. Every one that I know has done so voluntarily. For each it was his/her time. They had planned both financially and otherwise. They love it. Planned right financially. Watch their expenses but live the good life. Have plenty of interests/things to do. Are not bored. So I'd say that the reason people aren't writing about the downside is that if it is planned and done right, the experience is positive.
Oh, btw, one did go back to work after an extended period, just said he wanted to and did so. Freedom is wonderful!
Uncledrz
__________________
uncledrz is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 06:26 AM   #6
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,875
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

When I first saw Donner's post (good one BTW)
I thought my situation would fit one or two categories.. Nope,
I am not afflicted with any of those. Just lucky I guess.

Briefly re. divorce and ER............my divorce enabled me to ER
in many ways.
Sad but true.

JG
__________________
MRGALT2U is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 06:37 AM   #7
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,875
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncledrz
Donner
This board is not the only place that I hear about er from people who have er'd.* I'm slowing down, but not yet er'd. But I have 10-15 people that I know and see on a regular basis (some weekly, some every year for annual events, some in between) who have er'd.* Every one that I know has done so voluntarily.* For each it was his/her time.* They had planned both financially and otherwise.* They love it.* Planned right financially.* *Watch their expenses but live the good life.* Have plenty of interests/things to do.* Are not bored.* *So I'd say that the reason people aren't writing about the downside is that if it is planned and done right, the experience is positive.
Oh, btw, one did go back to work after an extended period, just said he wanted to and did so.* Freedom is wonderful!
Uncledrz
At my age I am starting to know a lot of retired people, but back when
I first hung it up I didn't know anyone (my age) who was retired.
I knew people were doing it but I just didn't know them personally.
In fact, for the first 10 years or so, none of my close friends/classmates
were retired. Now that I think about it, they still aren't.
However, as was pointed out recently, they are mostly all self employed
which undoubtedly accounts for this.

JG
__________________
MRGALT2U is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 06:40 AM   #8
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,875
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Hello FunGoals. Excellent list of ways to derail ER. We all could probably add a couple. It takes a combination of luck and pluck
(unless you are sitting on a huge pile of money)

JG
__________________
MRGALT2U is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 07:01 AM   #9
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,875
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

I could never quite figure Ted out. No sense of humor?

JG
__________________
MRGALT2U is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 07:28 AM   #10
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 54
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Thanks JG.
Bad luck can be unexpected & expensive. A neighbors tree came down, luckily it just landed on a fence.

__________________
FunGoals is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 10:38 AM   #11
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 218
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Great thread, Donner!
We have friends that FIREd the same time we did. He is retired military and then started business. They sold the business for a nice piece of change. Then comes a couple of lawsuits over the sale (long story). They WIN both of them, only now they have spent a couple hundred thousand dollars in attorneys fees! They are hoping to get mack 80 cents on the dollar, if they are lucky.

There's more to it than that, but not worth going into, bottom line, the wife is back at work now (His job is to build their house).

Beachbumz
__________________
Life is good.
Beachbumz is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 10:39 AM   #12
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 218
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Quote:
Originally Posted by FunGoals
Celebrating & spending too much money at the start of retirement.*
Guilty as charged!* Fortunately, the hyper-inflation in the real estate market bailed me out!*

Beachbumz
__________________
Life is good.
Beachbumz is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 10:57 AM   #13
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
cute fuzzy bunny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Losing my whump
Posts: 22,697
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Wow, JG replied to himself four times. I think thats a personal record.
__________________
Be fearful when others are greedy, and greedy when others are fearful. Just another form of "buy low, sell high" for those who have trouble with things. This rule is not universal. Do not buy a 1973 Pinto because everyone else is afraid of it.
cute fuzzy bunny is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 11:59 AM   #14
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Eagle43's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: DFW
Posts: 1,883
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Good thread, Donner. May I suggest Ernie Zelinski's "How to Retire Happy, Wild and Free." He gives all kinds of ways to get over what you are talking about. One Example: Build a "Get-a-Life Tree" which contains Activities that turn you on now, Activities that turned you on in the past, and New Activities you have thought of doing. The basic recommendation: Action. If you sit on your rear, watch tv, do next to nothing, you will be bored and long for a job you really didn't like, or get an illness, etc. Put another way, if you don't have a reason to get up in the morning, you might just stop getting up. He quotes lots of real-life people. This book is about the lifestyle, not the finances of retirement. I don't like Ernie's writing style that much, but his points are excellent.

One other thing: I'm 62. I could work until 70, or 75. But sooner or later, you gotta walk away (or you might get run off by a young whippersnapper). Then you have to face the same problems, just at a later age. The only exception is those who die on the job. Now that's something to aspire to.
__________________
Resist much. Obey Little. . . . Ed Abbey

Disclaimer: My Posts are for my amusement only.
Eagle43 is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 12:36 PM   #15
Moderator Emeritus
Martha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: minnesota
Posts: 13,212
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Yes, good thread.

If my ER fails, I am unlikely to share the details. Especially if it is money. It would be like getting an F on the report card--you aren't going to tell anyone unless it turns out just about everyone flunked.

Since I started on this site, I went from being managing partner of my firm and working far too many hours to working part time. I haven't retired yet. As Mikey reports, "in many many ways life with a good job or a good COLA pension is more secure than living off savings".

But I confess, I haven't really settled into part time work. The month off this winter was great. The coming back was tough and I am not really hitting my stride at work. I have enough power at work not to be "humiliated or harassed". Nevertheless, I am becoming a malcontent. I find I spend a lot of time goofing off. It is like I have permanent short timers disease. But at home on my days off, I find I am driven to do stuff, where DH lives on ER time.

Need to settle in, or try something else.





__________________
.


No more lawyer stuff, no more political stuff, so no more CYA

Martha is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 02:27 PM   #16
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 188
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

I have never cognizantly been exposed to the phrase "permanent short timer's disease" which Martha uses, but I know (and fully understand) what it means. I often feel "guilty" because I don't have enthusiasm for my present position, even though I downsized myself to it. Right now, the summer of 2007 when m wife and I have agreed to FIRE seems awfully far off.

Sorry to detract from the thread, but the phrase simply strikes me as so valid.

__________________
playaman is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 02:59 PM   #17
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Mesa
Posts: 3,588
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Quote:
Originally Posted by th
Wow, JG replied to himself four times.* I think thats a personal record.
TH,

Can you reply to this question 5 times? I'm conducting a test and want to see if JG can find a way to increase his post count.

__________________
sgeeeee is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 03:25 PM   #18
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Mesa
Posts: 3,588
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Donner,

If you've been reading and posting on the ER boards for long enough, I think you are likely to have seen all the things you mention. It is not at all unheard of to have a new poster who believes that retirement is boring, that retirement is irresponsible, that controling your spending is no fun, etc. But after posting these ideas a few times, they usually find another place to entertain themselves. Why hang around with a group of people who don't agree with you and who are likely to cast dispersions at you? There are at least a couple of posters I can recall who retired and then had to go back to work. But after the retirement failure, they are not likely to spend a lot of time here. There was a long discussion on divorce over on raddr's boards not long ago. A number of FIREees and FIRE wannabes talked about the impact of divorce.

I think the character of most boards gets colored pretty significantly by (at most) a handfull of posters. Posters who have lots of time and a few strongly held opinions can have a huge impact on what gets discussed. They can effectively discourage anyone from discussing things they don't agree with. If they can do this in a way that others find entertaining, then the board lives on, but dissention is minimized. Similarly, if they have a topic they love to talk about, long entertaining threads on those topics result. In addition to Dory's boards, you can find Retire early boards run by intrcst, raddr and ES. Each of these boards has a unique personality because of the small group of posters that dominate each board. raddr's board is more likely to have detailed discussions of portfolio allocation and sector performance, valuation, etc. ES's board is more likely to discuss LBYM issues and index investing details. intrcst's board is filled with retirement board politics and history of the retire early board's history. But finding lots of posts by people who didn't like retirement or who failed at it is going to be hard. I think they tend to go away.
__________________
sgeeeee is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 06:24 PM   #19
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,617
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha
Need to settle in, or try something else.*
Sounds like you're ready to do both-- how 'bout leaving the office and settling into a full-time ER?
__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board
Old 05-10-2005, 07:49 PM   #20
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
cute fuzzy bunny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Losing my whump
Posts: 22,697
Re: Top Ten Things We Don't See On The Board

Quote:
Originally Posted by - SG
TH,

Can you reply to this question 5 times? I'm conducting a test and want to see if JG can find a way to increase his post count.

Eh, I gave up on "the great post race". Its simply not feasible to try to keep pace with someone who replies sequentially to the same thread over and over. Especially when the content is pretty much the same 4-5 standard paragraphs.
__________________

__________________
Be fearful when others are greedy, and greedy when others are fearful. Just another form of "buy low, sell high" for those who have trouble with things. This rule is not universal. Do not buy a 1973 Pinto because everyone else is afraid of it.
cute fuzzy bunny is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Why in the world would you post to (eeeuw) a discussion board?!? Nords Other topics 88 08-22-2006 11:08 PM
Ten Things to Stop Doing in 2006 Jay_Gatsby FIRE and Money 119 01-12-2006 06:02 PM
Ten Things You're Not Too Old to Do Spanky Life after FIRE 10 06-17-2005 09:50 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:23 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.