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Old 08-15-2012, 09:50 PM   #21
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Let me add to the chorus of thanks for sharing your story and of your Dad's impressive philosophy on life and end of life. I wish communications in my family were as transparent as in yours.

And on a lighter note, Dawg, I've already mentioned way back that you were going to get one of the first invites, well after REWahoo and HaHa, to my planned venture, a Hooters-themed dirty old man nursing home. so quit worrying about not having a place to call home when it comes to that. We'll even have "caddies" for the putt putt course out back!
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Old 08-15-2012, 11:18 PM   #22
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Glad he has taken a 'mature' approach to his situation.
I hope I have the sense to know when it's time to go in an assisted living facility as Sue's Dad. I hope I don't sound like I'm sitting around thinking about depressing stuff because I don't. Hell, I still a young whipper snapper. But it is something to think about.
I was originally going to say that when I get that old, I hope I'm that mature.

But so far the gap between those two lines is not shrinking...

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And on a lighter note, Dawg, I've already mentioned way back that you were going to get one of the first invites, well after REWahoo and HaHa, to my planned venture, a Hooters-themed dirty old man nursing home. so quit worrying about not having a place to call home when it comes to that. We'll even have "caddies" for the putt putt course out back!
No doubt at some suitable location on the Isle of Palms?

You'll have to let us know when you're looking for b... b... b... beta testers!
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Old 08-16-2012, 01:57 PM   #23
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And on a lighter note, Dawg, I've already mentioned way back that you were going to get one of the first invites, well after REWahoo and HaHa, to my planned venture, a Hooters-themed dirty old man nursing home. so quit worrying about not having a place to call home when it comes to that. We'll even have "caddies" for the putt putt course out back!
Hey....I missed that. No worries then. I suppose the Hooter girls will bring me my med's?
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Old 08-17-2012, 12:45 PM   #24
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Update to the update......

Yesterday my sister picked up Dad and took him to an afternoon activity for seniors at a community center nearby. He didn't care for it much and on the way home he asked her if they could stop in at the Assisted Living place that we saw on Tuesday. He wanted to see it again. He asked if they had any vacancies on the first floor (which is his preference) right now and they showed him a first floor, one bedroom unit whose resident had recently "moved on." The furniture is still there but will be moved out soon and the place will be readied for a new resident. He walked around, checked everything, sat down and got a feel for the place and then asked if he could have it. And they left a deposit!

He decided he wants to move the first week in September so 3 weeks from today is moving day. My sister has already arranged for a mover, I've arranged for his phone and internet and I bet he's already packing. He is so excited to make this change.

My sister also talked to a real estate agent who told her that these condo units are not selling quickly and the price range to expect. We may rent it out at first. My sister knows a recently divorced friend who may be interested in a few months. The rent would be enough to cover the monthly maintenance and the property taxes. We will have to handle disposing of the things he leaves behind (including a large trunk holding every tax return since 1960 and 24 bottles of wine from Trader Joes) and preparing the condo for rental or sale.

My head is spinning over all the details but I'm so happy for him. He's only taking the few clothes he really still wears, his desk and his computer, the few pieces of furniture that he can still use and a box or two of pictures. He's not one to hold onto stuff. The 2001 Honda Civic with 50,000 miles is going to my nephew, my son gets his leather chair (it was Dad's favorite but after the broken hip he can't get up out of it anymore). A couple of the grandkids (all adults) may gather up some kitchen items.

If we end up renting it out I'm going to have to learn some new things. Dad will still be the owner but I will be acting as the landlord for him. The condo building has a lot of rules and restrictions (no moving on weekends or holidays) but we are allowed to rent it out.
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Old 08-17-2012, 12:51 PM   #25
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Sue, I am so happy for him, and for you!!! That was about the easiest transition to assisted living that one could have. I am so glad he found a good facility to move to, that he likes.
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Old 08-17-2012, 04:04 PM   #26
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Sue, I am so happy for him, and for you!!! That was about the easiest transition to assisted living that one could have. I am so glad he found a good facility to move to, that he likes.
+1!!!
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Old 08-17-2012, 04:26 PM   #27
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Sue, I am so happy for him, and for you!!! That was about the easiest transition to assisted living that one could have. I am so glad he found a good facility to move to, that he likes.

+2.... It was a bit of the same for my mom.... she refused to even talk about moving out of her house for over 5 years... then decided she wanted to move and started looking... I thought all of the places my sisters took her to were not that good... so I looked...

I found a nice condo and we put in a bid in a couple of days... she still tells me how happy she is that I found it for her, 3 years now...

I hope that moving to assisted living or whatever is next will be easy...
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Old 08-17-2012, 04:28 PM   #28
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That was quick. Hope it works out for him.

When my aunt moved into her assisted living I handled the move. We donated lots of things and slimmed down to fit, all she needed was new computer and TV - things with small footprints. Worked out very well while she was there.
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Old 08-17-2012, 08:23 PM   #29
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... including a large trunk holding every tax return since 1960
You guys are on a hot streak.

What does one do with tax returns that old? Just throw everything before 2004 into the shredder?
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Old 08-17-2012, 09:08 PM   #30
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Wow - congrats. It's wonderful that your Dad is excited about the place and championing the move. And to find a place he likes so quickly! What a whirlwind! Thanks for sharing.
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Old 08-17-2012, 09:25 PM   #31
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Sounds like your dad is ready to move and happy with his choice. This looks like a win - win for all.
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Old 08-17-2012, 09:52 PM   #32
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We will have to handle disposing of the things he leaves behind (including a large trunk holding... 24 bottles of wine from Trader Joes)
Sue, are you sure he didn't read Sarah's post?

If he did, he just might be planning to take those along so he's ready for the wild parties.
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Old 08-18-2012, 10:31 AM   #33
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This is excellent news. It is so fortunate that your Dad is ready and has made his own choice. I hope he will be very happy in his new home.
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Old 08-18-2012, 10:48 AM   #34
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He is so excited to make this change.
Fantastic.
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All moved in
Old 09-12-2012, 11:51 AM   #35
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All moved in

The move went well last Friday. He only took what he still used and needed so there is still a lot of stuff (clothing, decorative items, housewares) left at his condominium that my sister and I have to deal with. The movers were excellent and have a lot of experience with seniors. Neighbors and building staff stopped in to say goodbye and I let them take dishes, dried flower arrangements, wall stuff, etc. just to get stuff to good homes.

My DH and our son rented a U-Haul truck so that we could bring some furniture home with us. We came home with a china cabinet and sideboard/server piece and a bedroom armoire that DH will use. We already had plenty of furniture so we have been rearranging things to get these items in their place. When my parents were in their house (1961-1995) they bought an Ethan Allen dining room set that I always loved. My sister has the dining room table and chairs because she had room and I didn't, but now I've acquired the rest of it. The china cabinet is in the living room now and will serve as storage and a bookcase. The server doesn't have a place yet, but it's my favorite piece of furniture ever, so I will find a good place for it.

Dad is so happy with his decision. He's relieved that he doesn't have to think about groceries and meal prep anymore. He has a kitchenette (no stove) in his new place but didn't want to bring a table and chairs like many of the other residents have because he wants to be out with people and eat in the dining room. Instead he brought his desk and computer.

My sister picked out all kinds of wall art and accent pieces from his apartment and made the new place look very comfortable and homelike.

The potential renter backed out so my sister had a real estate agent look at the condo and my Dad has signed a contract. The starting price is far lower than he paid in 1995, but that's expected. I'm sure he'll end up dropping the price if someone makes an offer.

One glitch we ran into is that his phone service is provided by the assisted living facility and it only allows local calls. I'm out of town and he was unable to call me! I don't know what other residents do for long distance but the simple solution was that I got Google Voice number in his area code and it rings my home number and/or my cell phone number. I wanted it to be easy and seamless for him and it works for what we need.

All the Trader Joes wine was donated to the dining facility for their Thursday Happy Hour, so he should be very popular!
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Old 09-12-2012, 12:17 PM   #36
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Sue
just finished reading thru this thread (well, mostly your posts) and can relate, as we have just gone thru the same thing w/my dad, 89. moved in last Nov; house on the market now. I won't hijack this thread by adding all the similar details, but I see there's a PM feature at this site if you'd like to compare experiences
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Old 09-12-2012, 01:50 PM   #37
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Sue, I'm to hear that you father is in and "settled" and looks to be happy in his new place. Maybe the dust will clear shortly and you can get back to your normal life. Best wishes to your dad. Hope things go that well for me some day.
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Old 09-12-2012, 05:40 PM   #38
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Sue - So glad to hear things have gone so smoothly for all of you (and the Google Voice phone solution is brilliant!). I suspect your father is already making new friends and getting involved around his new home. Bravo!
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Old 09-27-2012, 10:54 AM   #39
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And the condo is SOLD!

In the first day that the condo was listed online his agent got a very low offer, but it's cash with no contingencies. There are 9 other units in his building or the other building on the market. They are all larger, in much better shape, move-in ready or just need to be redecorated. His is very worn, plain and outdated. He did not want to upgrade or replace anything but we did have the carpet cleaned and whole place professionally cleaned.

This is not a hot real estate market. All the other units for sale in his complex have been on the market for 4 months to 10 months and they show much better. The buyer is looking to get into this complex with a unit he can buy at a low price and fix up. Dad could have done about $15,000 in carpet, paint and the kitchen and it still would not have been great.

He made a counter offer and the buyer came up a little and he accepted. He didn't want to take such a low offer but he also looked at the costs of carrying this for many months. The monthly maintenance fee is $500, taxes, insurance and keeping the electricity on runs $200. And he just wants it all done and his life kept simple. So he accepted the low offer and the closing is October 10th. My sister and I need to move fast to get the rest of the stuff cleared out and we will work on that this weekend.

There is also a storage closet down the hall from his unit and another one in another area in the building. Who knows what's in there! Could be more stuff they put into storage when they bought newer stuff or maybe it's where the family treasures were tucked away. Or it's more crap to be tossed in a dumpster. Anything usable gets donated, anything valuable gets ebayed.

But I'm not bringing any more of it home!
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Old 09-27-2012, 10:57 AM   #40
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Good. He was smart to take it. Cash is good; so many things can happen once the bank gets into the picture.

Ha
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