Wandering

[Nords]

Originally Posted by Martha

Sometimes I wonder if I don't have a touch of seasonal affective disorder.*

That's one of the reasons I live here...

[greg]

Nords: Naaaaa. She has Greg Affective Disorder.

[Nords]

Originally Posted by Apocalypse

Nords:* * Naaaaa.* She has Greg Affective Disorder.

That sounds like a year-round problem!

[sooner]

Things sure seem to move quickly in retirement. Since my first post I had a job offer in the field I retired from. This made me realize that I don't want to work in the field anymore and I also don't want full time work at all. Also, many of you mention volunteering. I always have been private type, not a joiner. But my wife volunteers with Meals on Wheels and it seems like a good thing for me to get into. It's actually excitng.

[Martha]

Originally Posted by sooner

Things sure seem to move quickly in retirement. Since my first post I had a job offer in the field I retired from. This made me realize that I don't want to work in the field anymore and I also don't want full time work at all. Also, many of you mention volunteering. I always have been private type, not a joiner. But my wife volunteers with Meals on Wheels and it seems like a good thing for me to get into. It's actually excitng.

My FIL was not a joiner type at all, but volunteered with meals on wheels and really enjoyed it.

[astromeria]

There are several different volunteer positions at Meals on Wheels. In addition to delivering the meals, one retired relative served on the local board of directors, and my Mom slices the bread and helps assemble the trays every Tuesday morning from 7:45-9:15. Usually 200-300 trays. She likes the consistency of working with the same small group of people every week, yet it leaves her Tuesdays free for other activities.

[audreyh1]

It's important to have goals and even set deadlines for yourself in retirement. It can be hard for people who have those things set by other people/organizations to take their OWN goals and deadlines seriously. But you really have to put your personal priorities first now!

And for some of us, retirement starts with a period where you have to figure out what those personal priorities are, because you've been living someone else's priorities for so long that you lost touch with what is most meaningful to you. As stated on another thread:

Originally Posted by retire@40

The problem is that most times, works sucks the life out of a person.* They spend so much time working that they lose interest in everything else.* So when they stop working, they feel like they stop living.*

It's important never to stop feeling like a kid when you had more things that you wanted to do than you had time to do them.

And perhaps the "need to feel you have accomplished something" is mostly conditioning. Many of us have been raised to feel that it's somehow "not OK" to do things just for the sheer joy and fun of it. But retirement is the time where is IS OK - more than OK - critical! This is our own LIFE we're talking about. Let go of any of those old shackles of needing to "be productive".

I'm not saying that accomplishing things and being productive are bad in themselves - they're not. They are actually really good things. But not if a holdover from some "work ethic" gone overboard that makes you devalue your own personal enjoyment, comfort and relaxation.

Maybe if you think in terms of "What can I do to improve the quality of my life TODAY" it'll help you get your bearings and really focus on your own true dreams and aspirations - not some external standard.

Audrey

[Oldbabe]

I've been dealing with exactly this "problem", although I feel that for me it's a life passage not really a problem. I think that it's important to accept a certain amount of wandering. Discover who you are now that you don't have a job. What are your dreams? Old ones unfulfilled? Or discover new ones.

What I've found difficult is to let go of my old life. Since I was divorced and faced the empty nest at the same time, I did not voluntarily "retire."* So, accepting my new life has been a process of letting go.* Unlike most early retirees who planned for and chose this stage of life, for me it has been the most difficult.

[Nords]

Originally Posted by audreyh1

It's important to have goals and even set deadlines for yourself in retirement.* It can be hard for people who have those things set by other people/organizations to take their OWN goals and deadlines seriously.* But you really have to put your personal priorities first now!
And for some of us, retirement starts with a period where you have to figure out what those personal priorities are, because you've been living someone else's priorities for so long that you lost touch with what is most meaningful to you.* As stated on another thread:
And perhaps the "need to feel you have accomplished something" is mostly conditioning.* Many of us have been raised to feel that it's somehow "not OK" to do things just for the sheer joy and fun of it.* But retirement is the time where is IS OK - more than OK - critical!* This is our own LIFE we're talking about.* Let go of any of those old shackles of needing to "be productive".
I'm not saying that accomplishing things and being productive are bad in themselves - they're not.* They are actually really good things.* But not if a holdover from some "work ethic" gone overboard that makes you devalue your own personal enjoyment, comfort and relaxation.
Maybe if you think in terms of "What can I do to improve the quality of my life TODAY" it'll help you get your bearings and really focus on your own true dreams and aspirations - not some external standard.

After four years I haven't felt a need (yet, if ever) to volunteer for something.* I can handle the "Hey, you're the retired guy, how 'bout helping us with..." crowd just fine but I'm still getting better at setting my own limits, especially with the family requests.*

I finished my three-year term on a non-profit board (which I started while I was still working) and said "Thanks but no thanks."* With what I've learned I hesitate to serve on the board of any non-profit that doesn't have director's E&O insurance.* I wouldn't mind taping drywall for Habitat but after I practiced (and learned a few roofing skills) then I'd probably drop out to demolish & rebuild our familyroom.

My main goals haven't really changed in ER-- be a good spouse, be a good parent.* The rest of the long-term list (especially the Great Barrier Reef and the Thailand immersion experience) is probably going to wait until we're empty nesters.* I won't be among my school's ten oldest alumni for at least another 60 years.* Otherwise the short-range & medium-range goals are just about finished (or not started!).*

Other goals don't have a definite ending point-- "learn to surf" is more of a journey than a destination.* As far as deadlines go, what was once measured in days is now measured in weeks, weeks have become months, and months have become years.* I have to learn to stop setting arbitrary deadlines for projects, or at least be comfortable with setting them aside for a month or two while I pursue something else with my dwindling attention span expanding curiosity...

Getting back to Sooner's subject line,
"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost."

[Mr._johngalt]

Originally Posted by sooner

I recently retired from a large corporation as a skilled tradesman. I liked my job, worked alot of hours, made lots of money and would have worked a few more years but they were closing my plant and offered early incentives to go. So, after more than 35 years I left. Although I think it was the right choice to go, and really don't miss the work, I feel lost at times. I enjoy doing things at a more leisurely time, but sometimes it's seems I don't have anything accomplished, and it's not that there isn't enough to do. It's like so what if I do it today or not. At times I feel like I'm wasting time. DW wants to to travel some but I don't care to do that either. After 2 monthes I don't think it's time to get a part time job, but not sure.

I am a certified Type A and recovering workaholic. After I retired,
my brain was abuzz with business/investment ideas. There was a
no-brainer deal around every corner. I still get a twitch from time to time, but
have learned ( in my case) that my time for "doing deals" is behind
me. Just coasting now; never bored. Honestly, there are times
when I would welcome a little boredom. There is way too much on my plate and my time here is short. Anyway, wasting time is no sin
as long as you don't obsess or get depressed about it.

JG

[Mr._johngalt]

Originally Posted by Oldbabe

I've been dealing with exactly this "problem", although I feel that for me it's a life passage not really a problem. I think that it's important to accept a certain amount of wandering. Discover who you are now that you don't have a job. What are your dreams? Old ones unfulfilled? Or discover new ones.

What I've found difficult is to let go of my old life. Since I was divorced and faced the empty nest at the same time, I did not voluntarily "retire."* So, accepting my new life has been a process of letting go.* Unlike most early retirees who planned for and chose this stage of life, for me it has been the most difficult.

I also divorced and retired completely in the same year. It worked out
really well (divorce and retirement) but it took awhile and the
ripples go on forever. All family relationships were altered
forever. I did not see that coming.

JG

[Billy]

old babe

What I've found difficult is to let go of my old life. Since I was divorced and faced the empty nest at the same time, I did not voluntarily "retire." So, accepting my new life has been a process of letting go. Unlike most early retirees who planned for and chose this stage of life, for me it has been the most difficult.

I understand. I have had times in my life where everyplace I looked, I have had to let go of someone, something or some idea.

It can be a time of great growth and freedom. And... it takes work!

I wish you the best.

Akaisha
Author, The Adventurer's Guide to Early Retirement

[donheff]

Originally Posted by sooner

Things sure seem to move quickly in retirement. Since my first post I had a job offer in the field I retired from. This made me realize that I don't want to work in the field anymore and I also don't want full time work at all.

I had the same reaction. I do some very part time consulting - amounts to about 4 hours a week. But the people I work for and others have approached me about doing more and I have zero interest. As it is, I suspect when I get a few more years "in" to ER I will drop the part time gig. I don't need it for self confidence and I find any sort of external demand on my time is frustrating. I also do some volunteer work but it isn't really a sacrifice -- I do it because I enjoy it. I will probbaly look for other volunteer opportunities as time goes by. I like "hangin out" with other people talking, working (to a degree) and basically socializing. Volunteering offers opportunities to meet that need.

Too bad there aren't a bunch of ERs hanging out on the corner. One of my fondest memories is of a period in the late sixties when I lived in an area with an active "corner." Here is a photo from a block party on that block 8):

[REWahoo]

Originally Posted by donheff

Too bad there aren't a bunch of ERs hanging out on the corner. One of my fondest memories is of a period in the late sixties when I lived in an area with an active "corner." Here is a photo from a block party on that block 8):

I take it they are all ER's?

[haha]

Looks good to me.

Ha

[donheff]

Originally Posted by REWahoo!

I take it they are all ER's?

We all were at the time but we had not properly evaluated the condition of our portfolios and had to return to work for a few decades. Now everone is scattered and the corner is high end condos.

[REWahoo]

Originally Posted by donheff

We all were at the time but we had not properly evaluated the condition of our portfolios and had to return to work for a few decades. Now everone is scattered and the corner is high end condos.

Looking back on it, do you regret not buying an annuity?

[Eagle43]

Here's a perspective from The Joy of Not Working by Ernie Zelinski:

You Too Can Experience More Leisure Time

Today Instead of Tomorrow

Here is a favorite story to get you tuned up for the rest of your life. I often share it with happy, leisurely individuals whenever they tell me that they may have become millionaires by now, only if they had sacrificed their balanced lifestyle to work a lot harder. The story helps them put life back in proper perspective and enjoy their leisure time. It may help you do the same.
A wealthy entrepreneur from New York went on a two-week seaside holiday on the coast of Costa Rica. On his first day there, he was impressed with the quality and taste of the exotic fish he bought from a local fisherman. The next day, the American encountered the native Costa Rican at the dock, but he had already sold his catch. The American discovered that the fisherman had a secret fishing spot where the fish were plenty and the quality superb. However, he only caught five or six fish a day.

The New Yorker asked the local fisherman why he didn't stay out longer at sea and catch more fish.

"But Senor," the fisherman replied, "I sleep in late until nine or ten every morning; I play with my children; I go fishing for an hour or two; in the afternoon I take a one- or two-hour siesta; in the early evening I have a relaxing meal with my family; and later in the evening, I go to the village and drink wine, play guitar, and sing with my amigos. As you can see, I have a full, relaxed, satisfying, and happy life."

The American replied, "You should catch a lot more fish. That way you can prepare for a prosperous future. Look, I am a businessman from New York and I can help you become a lot more successful in life. I received an MBA from Harvard and I know a lot about business and marketing."

The American continued, "The way to prepare for the future is to get up early in the morning and spend the whole day fishing, even going back for more in the evening. In no time, with the extra money you could buy a bigger boat. Two years from now, you can have five or six boats that you can rent to other fishermen. In another five years, with all the fish you will control, you can build a fish plant and even have your own brand of fish products."

"Then, in another six or seven years," the American continued while the Costa Rican looked more and more bewildered, "you can leave here and move to New York or San Francisco, and have someone else run your factory while you market your products. If you work hard for fifteen or twenty years, you can become a multi-millionaire. Then you won't have to work another day for the rest of your life."

"What would I do then, Senor?" responded the fisherman.

Without any hesitation, the wealthy American businessman enthusiastically replied, "Then you will be able to move to a little village in some laid-back country like Mexico where you can sleep in late every day, play with the village children, take a long siesta every afternoon, eat meals while relaxing in the evening, and play guitar, sing, and drink wine with your amigos every night."


The moral of this story is straightforward: Like the Costa Rican fisherman, yo