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W2R · 03-08-2011, 09:40 AM

Slept late on this Mardi Gras morning, and now watching parades on live TV over my first cup of coffee. Breathtakingly beautiful! Wish I could adequately describe what I am seeing. The parades will continue non-stop all day, on all the parade routes all over town.

Too much craziness so I'll probably stay home, and F. lives on a parade route with non-stop parades already going by so he doesn't have any choice - - I'm sure he is blocked in.

Nords · 03-08-2011, 09:56 AM

Thanks for the support and the PMs and the "thanks" notes, everyone. The week's gone by pretty fast.

My father's almost completely recovered from the repair to his duodenum. Amazing progress since I saw him on the 5th day after surgery, when he could barely stand by his bed, to now ready to go hiking again. He had over a dozen staples in his six-inch incision (from below the ribcage to his navel) but those were taken out yesterday (the 9th day) and he's just holding it together with surgical tape. The duodenum hole has been stitched over with a strip from his omentum (sort of the biological equivalent of duct tape) and should eventually heal itself. Pretty cool procedures & technology, as long as you're a survivor. By the time the ER doc figured out the problem (not helped by Dad's incoherence and complaints of heart-attack symptoms) they had to hurry. His neighbor literally saved his life.

Unfortunately the doctor's subsequent diagnosis is leaning more toward Alzheimer's than vascular dementia. My father's been aware of his declining cognition for the last 18 months and (when he's lucid) he understands that he shouldn't try to live on his own anymore. Unfortunately "lucid" is infrequent, too short, and random. He spends most of his time in the late 1950s/early 1960s and usually thinks I'm his ol' college roommate.

We've had great help from the hospital's discharge planner, plus we've hired a care manager and consulted an elder-law lawyer. Money well spent. We're going to move Dad to a skilled nursing facility (rehab & therapy) followed by an assisted-living/full-care facility close to my brother's home. The hospital's discharge planner is finding a place now, and when the paperwork is ready then Dad and I are going to make the 250-mile drive in his Ford Explorer through the Rockies. Hopefully that'll happen by tomorrow or Thu at the latest or else we'll be looking at a delay until Monday.

My brother's working with his own care manager and lawyer in his town. (We're flinging money around with wild abandon.) He's filing to be appointed guardian & conservator, and he'll delegate the financial details back to me. Looks like that'll take a minimum of 2-3 months, and until then we're essentially having Dad sign the checks to pay his apartment rent & utility bills. Soon we'll get those on autopay from his checking account, and in the next few months (once he's settled in a facility) we'll close down his apartment and take care of his possessions.

Dad's covered with Medicare, LTC insurance, pension income, and his own assets. My initial impression is that the money will be OK. He's had a LTC policy since 1993 and has only paid about $11K in premiums for an inflation-rider policy that will now top out around $300K. If you're a John Hancock investor then you might want to divest yourself within the next 100 days.

I'm a third-generation engineer, and his apartment is a model of engineering neatness & efficiency for coping with progressive cognitive deficiency. Reminder notes and calendars are everywhere, and his filing system was designed to keep him from missing dates or payments. Everything is logged, dated, and annotated. I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on but I don't think anything is behind or unpaid. He made it work for far longer than he should have, but he didn't want to give up control.

So while we're awaiting the discharge plan, I'm packing up his clothes and a few personal possessions. (I'm getting good advice from the care manager.) Next up are his 2010 tax returns. Hopefully I'll be back home next week and back here on the board a few days later.

It's a shame that things had to go this way, but they're going as well as we could expect.

Moemg · 03-08-2011, 11:11 AM

Glad to hear from you . I was wondering how it was going . At least your Dad will now be in a safer place and he realizes he needs to be there .Usually a hospital stay is the only way that older people realize it's time to move . A good friend of our family was managed at home for a few years with Alzheimer's . The care was poor and they stripped the house of all valuables . We finally moved her to an Alzheimer's unit where she lived for several years and had excellent care . So you made the right decision.

DangerMouse · 03-08-2011, 01:12 PM

Nords, thanks for the update. It is sad to see anyone go from being a strong parent to being the one that needs the care.

Dreamer · 03-08-2011, 04:50 PM

Nords, sorry to hear all that you have been going through. I am sure that it is not an easy time. It does sound like you have things under control though. Good luck.

Meadbh · 03-08-2011, 05:19 PM

Nords, your Dad is lucky to have two such well organized sons to take charge for him. Because that's what he needs now, even if he doesn't realize it.

Sue J · 03-09-2011, 09:02 AM

Thanks for the update, Nords. It sounds like your earlier visit and pre-planning for this eventuality have been very beneficial.

ls99 · 03-09-2011, 05:25 PM

Took DW ice skating. She bravely hugged he wall and my hand. Did pretty good. Stopped on the way home for a reward of Latte for her.

Moemg · 03-09-2011, 06:01 PM

Today my daughter called me to tell me that my Geo Prism is on death's doorstep . I drove it in the eighties and then gave it to my daughter who drove it until recently . It is twenty years old with $250,000 miles on it . That is one car I got my money's worth on.

freebird5825 · 03-09-2011, 08:37 PM

I woke up to a nice pot of coffee already made for me. I was procrastinating to the fullest extent while Mr B took a ride to the Legion for coffee and man ~~gossip~~ talk. I had the house all to myself. I had my sweats and tank top on and morning "pineapple" hair all perfectly in place.

THEN...he comes home around 11 AM and proceeds to coerce me into going food shopping.

I hemmed.
I hawed.
I cited the weather (which dammit was snow-free. where's my lake effect when I need it most?

)

ARGH...I motivated, showered, dressed, and grabbed the shopping list.
One consolation is HE drove the shopping cart and did the price checking.
I was rewarded with some nice cold beers (his treat

), good company, and a free goulash dinner at the VFW after all was said and done.

bbbamI · 03-09-2011, 08:53 PM

Went with DH to another RT appointment today. Sure will be glad when that's all over.

Gave myself a pedicure tonight. Gotta get the tootsies lookin' good for sandal weather.

Gotadimple · 03-10-2011, 11:27 AM

Went to the club, swam 21 laps -- over 1 KM!

Now going grocery shopping, I think I worked up an appetite.

-- Rita

FinanceDude · 03-10-2011, 12:57 PM

Worked, and watched the hilarity that is Wisconsin politics unfold on the TV.............if I NEVER see Michael Moore in our state again, that will still be too soon...............

Free To Canoe · 03-10-2011, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moemg

Today my daughter called me to tell me that my Geo Prism is on death's doorstep . I drove it in the eighties and then gave it to my daughter who drove it until recently . It is twenty years old with $250,000 miles on it . That is one car I got my money's worth on.

Good little cars those Prizms. Had ours for 225,000 miles. Never had engine or tranny work done on it. Still running when I got rid of it.

Free to canoe

TromboneAl · 03-10-2011, 01:53 PM

Lena leaves for a ten-day trip to Sweden in a few hours. I'm so glad I'm not going. She'll meet Jenny and Jenny's boyfriend there.

This morning, Lena fell off a 4' high cliff. We were climbing up from the beach, she got to the top and started doing the windmill thing, then fell back and ended up with some bruises and scrapes. Not a great way to start a 33 hour door-to-door trip.

sailor · 03-10-2011, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TromboneAl

Lena leaves for a ten-day trip to Sweden in a few hours. I'm so glad I'm not going.

Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yer?
See the løveli lakes
The wonderful telephøne system
And mani interesting furry animals
Including the majestic møøse

M Paquette · 03-10-2011, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sailor

Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yer?
See the løveli lakes
The wonderful telephøne system
And mani interesting furry animals
Including the majestic møøse

A Møøse once bit my sister ...

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse
with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given
her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and
star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo
Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst
Nordfink".

ls99 · 03-10-2011, 02:40 PM

Not nice to try carve into live moose. Shoulda been a moose gooser.

freebird5825 · 03-10-2011, 03:41 PM

No mooses or gooses found here...

I goofed all ALL morning...

. I deserve that after completing my tax returns last week and re-executing my Trust-Will-HCP-Durable PoA-Schedule of Assets package earlier this week.

Well...OK...I did two loads of laundry. We had rain all day, added to already melting snow.

This means my back yard will be deeply saturated, which means my leach field will not function as well, which means I have to limit washing machine water output for several days until natural ground water drainage puts the septic system process back to business as usual. Toilet and shower water usage is not an issue unless I host a really huge party.

Ah...the joys of country living.