What gives you stress after ER?

[bbbamI]

I know but sometimes these issues are like car wrecks . You just can't look away and next thing you are totally involved !

I just look at them with one eye...

 

[KingB]

I don't spend any time on politics and that is a big timesaver. I don't argue about issues on the internet and that also keeps me sane...

You don't have to argue about the issues to be stressed out. Sometimes, just reading them will do this to you.

 

[freebird5825]

You may need another phrase then "I have to". How about "I'm going to enjoy ..." or some such?

Try this one on for size...

"I don't want to and I don't have to"

Source: Shoebox greeting card given to me by a very good lady friend (also an Engineer where I w*rked) when I resigned.

 

[Lsbcal]

Try this one on for size...

"I don't want to and I don't have to"

Source: Shoebox greeting card given to me by a very good lady friend (also an Engineer where I w*rked) when I resigned.

That's certainly an excellent one for things you hate.

I was thinking about the situation some fortunate people have of having too many desert options. DW sometimes complains about how to fit in all the activities she's planning on enjoying. I have that problem too. So I have to remember to take it slowly and savor each experience. Maybe something will just have to slide out in time.

 

[freebird5825]

That's certainly an excellent one for things you hate.

Or things you feel obligated to do for some strange reason. It is difficult for achievers to learn how to relax. By achievers, I mean the collective group here at the forum. We have all achieved the Holy Grail of the w*rking world...FIRE.

I went through the "I should be doing something" phase for quite a while after I FIREd. I do believe I've finally gotten over that.

Maybe...sort of...intermittently...

 

[NW-Bound]

The only thing that gives me stress is when my DW's parasitic relatives go through yet another self made crisis and try to extort money from her.

I am afraid one of these days, what will give me stress is that the gummint will say that because I led an LBYM life and had savings in IRAs and in after-tax accounts, I will have to give up SS to people who are more needy.

Yes, needy people like some of my fellow engineers who made the same money as I did, paid the same as I did into the SS fund, but they did not save and now are "needy" while I am considered "rich".

Just think about that coming stresses me out already!

 

[TromboneAl]

You may need another phrase then "I have to". How about "I'm going to enjoy ..." or some such?

You're right, of course, but sometimes it gets to the point that if I don't practice enough, I'll make mistakes at the gig, which I won't enjoy, and if I don't ride enough, I'll get tired on the big organized ride. But I do know that those things don't really matter, and that when I'm less pressed for time, I'll be able to appreciate it more.

Thanks for the reminder.

 

[Khan]

What stress's me in retirement?
Anything that requires me to be or do anything with a time or date attached to it.
I just can't stand having to do anything that you need to watch a clock or set an alarm for.
Steve

It is annoying but I realize the dentist & vet et al do have to have schedules.

I try to keep appointments to 11AM or 1PM if at all possible.

Think I've set alarm 3 times in 6.5 years I've been retired.

 

[Khan]

The only thing that gives me stress is when my DW's parasitic relatives go through yet another self made crisis and try to extort money from her.

Other than that, it is blue skies.

I don't have a spouse & don't communicate with relatives; makes life easier.

 

[Lsbcal]

Or things you feel obligated to do for some strange reason. It is difficult for achievers to learn how to relax. By achievers, I mean the collective group here at the forum. We have all achieved the Holy Grail of the w*rking world...FIRE.

I went through the "I should be doing something" phase for quite a while after I FIREd. I do believe I've finally gotten over that.

Maybe...sort of...intermittently...

I just seem to have to do something "productive" or I feel dumb and worthless. Must find a way to get over that. Once in awhile I declare a "free" day and just do whatever comes naturally. Sometimes I just clean the coffee maker or some such minor thing and that helps me to feel productive for the day. I guess I can blame my parents for making me too responsible .

 

[REWahoo]

Once in awhile I declare a "free" day and just do whatever comes naturally.

I thought that was the very definition of being retired...

 

[obgyn65]

I am concerned about the same issue. This is one of the things that keeps me from retiring now.

what will give me stress is that the gummint will say that because I led an LBYM life and had savings in IRAs and in after-tax accounts, I will have to give up SS to people who are more needy.

 

[NW-Bound]

I am concerned about the same issue. This is one of the things that keeps me from retiring now.

But, but, but the difference between us is that you are really a "rich" doctor, hence truly do not need SS like I still do as a poor engineer.

 

[Lsbcal]

I thought that was the very definition of being retired...

And here I thought all along that "retired" meant you had just found another way to get "tired".

I looked it up and found:

retire 1533, of armies, "to retreat," from M.Fr. retirer "to withdraw (something)," from re- "back" + O.Fr. tirer "to draw" (see tirade). Meaning "to withdraw to some place for the sake of seclusion" is recorded from 1538; sense of "leave an occupation" first attested 1648 (implied in retirement). Meaning "to leave company and go to bed" is from 1670. Baseball sense of "to put out" is recorded from 1874. Retiree is attested from 1945.

 

[NW-Bound]

Additionally, I owe an expensive condo, mortgage free, and have paid my college tuition... I need SS as much as anyone else

Surely, I have read about your charity work, and that's a lot more than I have done.

The expensive condo is your own business, but hearing that you have paid your college tuition, I am ready to share some SS money with you.

You probably do not read all the threads to know about the recent "storm" regarding college tuition loan forgiveness for [-]ER'ers [/-]low income people.

 

[obgyn65]

Your points are well taken, NW-Bound.

Surely, I have read about your charity work, and that's a lot more than I have done.

The expensive condo is your own business, but hearing that you have paid your college tuition, I am ready to share some SS money with you.

You probably do not read all the threads to know about the recent "storm" regarding college tuition loan forgiveness for [-]ER'ers [/-]low income people.

 

[Moscyn]

After 5 years of ER. The question is: Am I fully taking advantage of ER?

Good question. I told myself before I ER that I'll give myself at least one year of free and easy life - no quantitative or qualitative goals - just live my life without the restrictions of work life and complete the little projects I have written down. I will remind myself to answer that good question at the end of my one year of ER and then decide what I want to do to enrich my ER. I just hope that I won't get caught up with laziness by that time.

 

[Alan]

I've followed this thread and have considered several times about what gives me stress after ER, and really, it is nothing much.

I have never been stressed about things I can't control, and certainly never about who gets more from the government than me - I care and have concerns, and vote, but it's simply not worth my time stressing about it.

It has only been 14 months of living in ER and I guess the drop in work related stress is so great, everything else seems trivial, particularly since our health continues to be excellent.

 

[scrabbler1]

Khan +2 (+1 for each of 2 posts).

I have set my alarm a few more times than 3 since I retired, maybe 3 or 4 times per year (although a few times I have awakened before the alarm has gone off).

 

[freebird5825]

It is annoying but I realize the dentist & vet et al do have to have schedules.

I try to keep appointments to 11AM or 1PM if at all possible.

Think I've set alarm 3 times in 6.5 years I've been retired.

I was sunlight deprived where I w*rked. Right after FIRE, I used to get up very early. I loved watching the sun rise while I had my coffee out on my porch. That phase has passed.

Fast forward to the present...the few times I needed to set the alarm, it was for unavoidably early AM medical appts.

Lately, I have been setting it to "wake to music" so I don't sleep in too late (past 8 AM). Classical music on the local NPR station first thing in the AM is just beautiful.

 

[kcowan]

You don't have to argue about the issues to be stressed out. Sometimes, just reading them will do this to you.

Then stop reading them!

 

[rescueme]

Listening to DW complain about her j*b every day (even though the original plan was for her to retire the same time as me - four years ago )...

Every time she "starts up", I just say - "you know, you don't have to be there". She admits (from a financial view) she doesn’t have to. However, retirement is not just financial, but also an emotional (and admitting you are getting older) situation.

So she continues to w*rk. She also does not tap her 401(k)/IRA (SS age, but waiting for FRA age of 66 to file), which makes our financials better than planned/expected at this time of life.

While she may be ready financially, she has yet to be "emotionally" ready to retire.

Other than that slight "problem"? I love retirement, TYVM.

 

[Zoocat]

Like Freebird, I really enjoy saying to myself "I don't HAVE to!" Just that thought relieves a lot of stress about many things. But work was never stressful for me; I enjoyed it. And I continue to "work" at the things I enjoy and have one very part time job which is annoying, but easy and doesn't cause stress.

What does cause stress are the events,situations that have nothing to do with retirement: annoying friends and relatives, grown kids unemployed, the continuing financial crisis, medical issues, etc. These can cause a lot more stress than work ever could.

Besides, these days, a lot of people would be HAPPY to have a stressful job, any job at all.

 

[freebird5825]

Like Freebird, I really enjoy saying to myself "I don't HAVE to!" Just that thought relieves a lot of stress about many things.

Mr B is coming up on 1 year of retirement at the end of May. He has almost completed his first year certificate at the Freebird School, specializing in the Bronx Cheer when someone tries to put a deadline on him for a volunteer task.

He was a very high achiever like me and felt a bit lost when he first retired. When the "bored" word came out of his mouth, I threatened him with "honey-do" lists of things that I didn't really want to do.
I also suggested that perhaps he could go up to the local American Legion, re-introduce himself as my boyfriend, and [-]get out from underfoot[/-] find something constructive to do for them. I strongly encouraged him to get some "man time" instead of [-]blaring the idiot box[/-] watching TV while I did my own stuff here at home.

He has adapted beautifully and is fully engaged doing things he WANTS to do. He has a whole new set of friends and is happy to be contributing his accounting and computer skills to a good cause. He is being recognized as an expert in both areas, while he is learning about some Post management legal issues he didn't know about before. He is nominated to be elected as a Post Commander this week, having served as a First Vice Cmdr for 3 years at another Legion.

As for me, I'm still on my own schedule. We get together in the afternoon and do our together stuff then and into the evening.

 

[ksr]

The first year or so of ER, I had a lot of stress watching my portfolio drop (I left full-time employment in late 2007). I tried not to let it get to me, but it was tough.

Now, I'd have to say I don't have much stress. The biggest source is usually relatives. Other than that, as someone else in this thread mentioned, I would say that I have a tendency to let small things bother me. When I notice that happening, I say to myself "Let It Go". That usually works!