What gives you stress after ER?

[East Texas]

Quote:

Originally Posted by travelover The only thing that gives me stress is when my DW's parasitic relatives go through yet another self made crisis and try to extort money from her. Other than that, it is blue skies.

+1 We tell the relatives we're not their bank.....

[vicente solano]

Anything aside my self-established routine or what I don´t want to do are causes for a certain stress. Well, me being a bore gives a lot of causes of stress

[Rustic23]

Stevewc +1

[kcowan]

I find that smaller issues seem to loom larger. When I was a CEO, every day was like riding a bicycle on a high wire. Then I retired and struggled to stop people from calling me to see if I was up for another gig? After the calls stopped, a peace set in and now it gets disturbed by incredibly small things. I have to keep reframing and saying this too shall pass.

I don't spend any time on politics and that is a big timesaver. I don't argue about issues on the internet and that also keeps me sane...

[Moemg]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcowan I don't argue about issues on the internet and that also keeps me sane...

I know but sometimes these issues are like car wrecks . You just can't look away and next thing you are totally involved !

[bbbamI]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moemg I know but sometimes these issues are like car wrecks . You just can't look away and next thing you are totally involved !

I just look at them with one eye...

[KingB]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcowan I don't spend any time on politics and that is a big timesaver. I don't argue about issues on the internet and that also keeps me sane...

You don't have to argue about the issues to be stressed out. Sometimes, just reading them will do this to you.

[freebird5825]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lsbcal You may need another phrase then "I have to". How about "I'm going to enjoy ..." or some such?

Try this one on for size...

"I don't want to and I don't have to"

Source: Shoebox greeting card given to me by a very good lady friend (also an Engineer where I w*rked) when I resigned.

[Lsbcal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebird5825 Try this one on for size... "I don't want to and I don't have to" Source: Shoebox greeting card given to me by a very good lady friend (also an Engineer where I w*rked) when I resigned.

That's certainly an excellent one for things you hate.

I was thinking about the situation some fortunate people have of having too many desert options. DW sometimes complains about how to fit in all the activities she's planning on enjoying. I have that problem too. So I have to remember to take it slowly and savor each experience. Maybe something will just have to slide out in time.

[freebird5825]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lsbcal That's certainly an excellent one for things you hate.

Or things you feel obligated to do for some strange reason. It is difficult for achievers to learn how to relax. By achievers, I mean the collective group here at the forum. We have all achieved the Holy Grail of the w*rking world...FIRE.

I went through the "I should be doing something" phase for quite a while after I FIREd. I do believe I've finally gotten over that.

Maybe...sort of...intermittently...

[NW-Bound]

Quote:

Originally Posted by travelover The only thing that gives me stress is when my DW's parasitic relatives go through yet another self made crisis and try to extort money from her.

I am afraid one of these days, what will give me stress is that the gummint will say that because I led an LBYM life and had savings in IRAs and in after-tax accounts, I will have to give up SS to people who are more needy.

Yes, needy people like some of my fellow engineers who made the same money as I did, paid the same as I did into the SS fund, but they did not save and now are "needy" while I am considered "rich".

Just think about that coming stresses me out already!

[TromboneAl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lsbcal You may need another phrase then "I have to". How about "I'm going to enjoy ..." or some such?

You're right, of course, but sometimes it gets to the point that if I don't practice enough, I'll make mistakes at the gig, which I won't enjoy, and if I don't ride enough, I'll get tired on the big organized ride. But I do know that those things don't really matter, and that when I'm less pressed for time, I'll be able to appreciate it more.

Thanks for the reminder.

[Khan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stevewc What stress's me in retirement? Anything that requires me to be or do anything with a time or date attached to it. I just can't stand having to do anything that you need to watch a clock or set an alarm for. Steve

It is annoying but I realize the dentist & vet et al do have to have schedules.

I try to keep appointments to 11AM or 1PM if at all possible.

Think I've set alarm 3 times in 6.5 years I've been retired.

[Khan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by travelover The only thing that gives me stress is when my DW's parasitic relatives go through yet another self made crisis and try to extort money from her. Other than that, it is blue skies.

I don't have a spouse & don't communicate with relatives; makes life easier.

[Lsbcal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebird5825 Or things you feel obligated to do for some strange reason. It is difficult for achievers to learn how to relax. By achievers, I mean the collective group here at the forum. We have all achieved the Holy Grail of the w*rking world...FIRE. I went through the "I should be doing something" phase for quite a while after I FIREd. I do believe I've finally gotten over that. Maybe...sort of...intermittently...

I just seem to have to do something "productive" or I feel dumb and worthless. Must find a way to get over that. Once in awhile I declare a "free" day and just do whatever comes naturally. Sometimes I just clean the coffee maker or some such minor thing and that helps me to feel productive for the day. I guess I can blame my parents for making me too responsible .

[REWahoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lsbcal Once in awhile I declare a "free" day and just do whatever comes naturally.

I thought that was the very definition of being retired...

[obgyn65]

I am concerned about the same issue. This is one of the things that keeps me from retiring now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NW-Bound what will give me stress is that the gummint will say that because I led an LBYM life and had savings in IRAs and in after-tax accounts, I will have to give up SS to people who are more needy.

[NW-Bound]

Quote:

Originally Posted by obgyn65 I am concerned about the same issue. This is one of the things that keeps me from retiring now.

But, but, but the difference between us is that you are really a "rich" doctor, hence truly do not need SS like I still do as a poor engineer.

[Lsbcal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by REWahoo I thought that was the very definition of being retired...

And here I thought all along that "retired" meant you had just found another way to get "tired".

I looked it up and found:

Quote:

retire 1533, of armies, "to retreat," from M.Fr. retirer "to withdraw (something)," from re- "back" + O.Fr. tirer "to draw" (see tirade). Meaning "to withdraw to some place for the sake of seclusion" is recorded from 1538; sense of "leave an occupation" first attested 1648 (implied in retirement). Meaning "to leave company and go to bed" is from 1670. Baseball sense of "to put out" is recorded from 1874. Retiree is attested from 1945.

[NW-Bound]

Quote:

Originally Posted by obgyn65 Additionally, I owe an expensive condo, mortgage free, and have paid my college tuition... I need SS as much as anyone else

Surely, I have read about your charity work, and that's a lot more than I have done.

The expensive condo is your own business, but hearing that you have paid your college tuition, I am ready to share some SS money with you.

You probably do not read all the threads to know about the recent "storm" regarding college tuition loan forgiveness for ER'ers low income people.