What was the biggest unanticipated downside of your ER?

[48Fire]

I thought my relationship with my wife would be better. She was excited about me retiring, and we always got along pretty well. But there was just too much 24/7 time, and we had to make adjustments. That included two stints at contracting for 4 - 5 months each.

[athena53]

Quote:

Originally Posted by misshathaway For the first year, inability to relax and adjust to my new freedom. Part of that was shifting from "No! Do not spend the savings EVER" to "Spend to live and enjoy. It's OK, really".

Yeah, that was a big shift for me, too. My essential expenses (mortgage, groceries, clothing, etc.) are minimal but I splurge on travel and every year there's some major "oh, crap" event. In 2015 it was the downsizing that was more expensive than expected (fixing up the old house a bit to sell, doing what we wanted to the one we bought, bank loaned us $50K less than we asked for). Last year the A/C had to be replaced. This year's income tax bill (for 2016) looks to be horrendous thanks to good investment results. Still kept the withdrawal rates under 4% and haven't tapped SS yet, but it hurts to take money out even though that's what it's there for.

[Bestwifeever]

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Originally Posted by Car-Guy Biggest unexpected downside in retirement. That's easy. Effects of aging after 60. Am surprised to see (or I should say, feel) the effects of the past five+ years.

Probably would have happened if you hadn't retired too.

Most people here seem to have carefully planned their retirement ahead of time, at least the financial part of it; in the real world outside ERland, I imagine financial concerns would top the list of unexpected developments.

[Huston55]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 48Fire I thought my relationship with my wife would be better. She was excited about me retiring, and we always got along pretty well. But there was just too much 24/7 time, and we had to make adjustments. That included two stints at contracting for 4 - 5 months each.

I have to admit to some adjustment for DW & me as well. Ours hasn't been as dramatic perhaps (I haven't had to return to w*rk for any extended period of time) but, we do purposely structure our time so that each of us has 'alone' time during the week. And, during the first 6+/- mos, DW did tell me that it was difficult having me around all the time. Another thing that we do is schedule a few days, here and there, for each of us to go off and do something alone. We both like that.

[Dd852]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Huston55 ...we do purposely structure our time so that each of us has 'alone' time during the week. ...Another thing that we do is schedule a few days, here and there, for each of us to go off and do something alone. We both like that.

+1 for sure. It is really important to keep new ideas and conversations coming into the marriage- a great way to do that is having separate spheres in addition to the shared one.

[Walt34]

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Originally Posted by aja8888 Wait until you see what happens to you after age 70.

You mean it gets worse? Say it ain't so!

[MRG]

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Originally Posted by Walt34 You mean it gets worse? Say it ain't so!

Only if we are fortunate.

[ShokWaveRider]

Healthcare Costs!

[braumeister]

Quote:

Originally Posted by aja8888 Wait until you see what happens to you after age 70.

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Originally Posted by Walt34 You mean it gets worse? Say it ain't so!

So far, it has only meant moving from 2 ibuprofen to 3, as required. Still manageable.

[NW-Bound]

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Originally Posted by aja8888 Wait until you see what happens to you after age 70.

See the quote in my signature line.

[Nemo2]

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Originally Posted by NW-Bound See the quote in my signature line.

Meant to ask you about that - was it Tolstoy or Trotsky?

[NW-Bound]

When I first saw the quote, it was attributed to Tolstoy.

But now, your question made me look it up, and indeed more Web sites gave Leon Trotsky the credit.

One site even has this:

"Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man" - James Thurber

Hmmm... So how do we settle this? I cannot possible read through all work of Tolstoy to see if the idea originated with him (his time was before the other two).

[Nemo2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NW-Bound So how do we settle this?

L.T. should cover it.

[NW-Bound]

The Guardian paper specifically went on the record to give credit to Trotsky.

So, I believe that and will change my signature line accordingly. Thanks for pointing this out.

[Nemo2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nw-bound the guardian paper specifically went on the record to give credit to trotsky. So, i believe that and will change my signature line accordingly. Thanks for pointing this out.

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[Winemaker]

I think this thread just got hacked by the Ruskies!;

[DayDreaming]

Only downside I can think of is that it's amazing how quickly time goes by now.

But I guess that's not really a downside because I've been enjoying every day immensely.

[48Fire]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Huston55 I have to admit to some adjustment for DW & me as well. Ours hasn't been as dramatic perhaps (I haven't had to return to w*rk for any extended period of time) but, we do purposely structure our time so that each of us has 'alone' time during the week. And, during the first 6+/- mos, DW did tell me that it was difficult having me around all the time. Another thing that we do is schedule a few days, here and there, for each of us to go off and do something alone. We both like that.

And just to be clear, I didn't go back to work to avoid my wife. It was always part of my plan to transition out of of work and into ER. But, when the opportunity presented itself about a year in to ER, it was mutually beneficial. I think we needed a little break to revisit our routines and do better the next time. After 3 1/2 years of ER, all's well

[Independent]

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Originally Posted by medved I continue to ruminate about how much longer I want to work. Reading this board is helpful in thinking through the issues. It seems most of the discussion focuses on the good things about ER. That is understandable because (1) there are lots of good things about ER, and (2) people here are mostly ER by choice, so if they did not like it they would be working. But I am also interested in learning about what were the biggest negatives/downsides of your ER that you did not anticipate -- or that were worse than you anticipated? I want to consider both the positives and the negatives that those who came before me have experienced.

Do you include unpleasant surprises?
My former employer canceled my retiree health insurance. We got the letter when my wife was in the middle of chemo treatments. That was expensive.

If ACA had been in place, I think it would have been a much smaller deal.

A more predictable result is that most of my social contacts were at work, I feel that loss.

But, I'm glad I retired when I did (on my 59th birthday). I wouldn't change that.

[Dash man]

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Originally Posted by jabbahop - the emotional discomfort of not seeing the nest egg grow as quickly. I knew that we would be spending down our assets but I miss seeing them grow quickly. Overall I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Geez... my nest egg growth in the past couple of weeks will pay for our condo remodel. I've been retired four years
and DW joined me last year. Net worth still growing nicely.
No down sides to retirement except one. Family still working or less affluent) expect you to be the one to care for elderly parents (in laws in my case). DW is very stressed dealing with parental care issues where her healthier father is killing himself trying to care for his wife who needs to be in assisted living or memory care. We try to set up her care and he can live in our home, but he won't pull the trigger. So he's so busy caring for his wife he's not caring for himself. We've offered to cover any financial gaps he can't cover himself.