When does ER get hard?

[Mulligan]

Yes, since you have plenty of "alone time/quality time" for yourself it gives you more time and energy to accommodate her needs. Wonder if there are any dating sites that match up w*rking ladies with ER'd men?

I'd be a little skeptical to join it. I think it is a cover for, I wanna land a man and marry him so I don't have to work, too! I would not have to problem with that except if I married somebody who then quit working, I would have to go back to work to make the "retirement math for 2" work.

 

[W2R]

Neither one of us work, we live separately, and we have plenty of "alone time" as well as plenty of quality time together. We started out with the agreement that we would only spend time with each other when we BOTH felt like it (something that I liked because I hate to feel like somebody's chore).

By now, we have worked out a routine but we occasionally spend more, or less, time together if we feel like it. Our time together is all quality time IMO. We are completely committed to one another emotionally and this is our fourteenth year together.

Just keep looking for the right person.

 

[Bestwifeever]

DH is at a scary movie right now while I get some things ready for some houseguests who will be arriving this week. We spend maybe half our time together since we've both ER'd.

I think most people adapt to retirement in their own ways and according to their own personalities. DH did not retire "to" something but the list of things he's done in the past almost five years takes my breath away, none of them planned while he was still working.

Things will work out.

 

[Sea Kayaker]

I fully expect ER to feel like slipping on a favorite pair of old slippers - my life away from my job is remarkable and fulfilling in so many ways I don't worry one iota about the transition. My job succeeds in keeping from doing the things I love, simple as that.

I am 41 and in the home stretch - the numbers and calculations suggest I am good to go now - dividend income now surpasses monthly expenses - and I still have 200k in cash to invest in more income producing assets. Not to mention my wife still wants to work for at least another ten years in her six figure position (one of those weirdos that loves her job )

I don't expect ER to be hard at all - I know it will be glorious. What I am finding difficult is actually cutting the cord and finally letting go of my job. Of late, even DW is questioning the wisdom of my leaving my employer - I didn't need that complication at this point. With our two incomes, we are current saving $7500 monthly - no matter how much I hate my job, that is not easy to walk away from - I will admit that saving this amount creates its own little thrill. Little voices in my head are telling me how much more secure things would be if I could hold on and work for a couple more years.

I am fearful I am descending into the pit of despair known as OMY syndrome.... the actual decision to ER is proving to be the hardest thing of all.

 

[martyp]

I am 2.5 yrs into ER. Last Thursday I had my annual reunion with college friends. They left on Sunday and my first thought was about how great it was not to have to go to work on Monday. They are all still working.

Nothing hard about it for me.

 

[haha]

I find being in a committed relationship, living separate, while the GF works and I do not as the perfect relationship scenario!

Me too, and I'll never change this; unless of course we have some kind of falling out. She has plenty that she likes to do when and if she retires, so no worries there. But no way will I end it by moving in together. Compromise is fine if I am compromising by having lamb chops instead of a T-Bone. But if it gets much more central than that, thanks but no thanks. I also like the aspect another poster mentioned- anything you do for her is a freely given gift, and tends to be appreciated in that light. As veteran of American married life I know very well that gratitude is not often a natural emotion of a wife. A few days ago I was in a busy checkout queue at REI and some poor old husband must have let his attention wander when one of the 12 checkers working was waving her blue flag that she was open. His wife smacked him on the back of the head, and thrust our her boney finger to direct him on his way. And this poor guy is going to live longer!!!

Ha

 

[NW-Bound]

... As veteran of American married life I know very well that gratitude is not often a natural emotion of a wife. A few days ago I was in a busy checkout queue at REI and some poor old husband must have let his attention wander when one of the 12 checkers working was waving her blue flag that she was open. His wife smacked him on the back of the head, and thrust our her boney finger to direct him on his way. And this poor guy is going to live longer!!!

Ha

And my wife often complained that I took her and what she did for granted.

But back on ER, I have stopped work only 14 months ago. No big change for me, as I have been working on/off for the last 10+ years, and have had time off periods of 4-5 months. Even when working, 40-hr weeks were somewhat infrequent and only in bursts. The occasional rush of getting something done did get the adrenaline flowing, followed by a relaxing period, a foreign trip, an RV trek.

If it weren't for my illness, I might miss work some, I'll admit. Pay is so good, the work is interesting, and I would not have to watch this 3.5%WR. Now kids are out of college, I would even have extra money to buy some good stocks I am running across.

Darn, this almost makes me want to call to see if they still need me, after my recovery.

 

[haha]

NW, I missed your announcement about your illness and subsequent surgery. I hope that you are dong well, and that your recovery will be rapid and complete.

Ha

 

[NW-Bound]

Thanks for the well-wish, from you as well as others. I did not announce it in a thread, and only in a casual post.

I have been debating whether I should tell about my saga, in hope that it may help others who find themselves in the same predicament. I may start a thread for that purpose, but want to wait until I am feeling better physically.

Mentally, I have been improving, and the bantering on this forum, public as well as private messaging, has been a big part of that.

 

[Ronstar]

NW - Take care of yourself and here's hope for a speedy recovery.

If there is anything that makes ER hard, its health issues that diminish its enjoyment.

 

[redduck]

When does ER get hard?

Whenever Mrs. ER wears her skimpy French maid's uniform.

 

[Ready]

I went from working full time to a very part time position about two months ago. I have to admit, I've love the ability to do things at my leisure since I gave up the full time position. I now sleep until I feel like getting up. I do a very lengthy exercise routine in the morning, then I come back and drink my coffee, eat some breakfast, and read the entire newspaper front to back.

I usually put in a few hours a day of work just to keep myself stimulated, but I don't fret about how hard I'm working or what pace I'm going at. I just do enough to keep myself busy without feeling stressed. It's been an incredibly positive experience for me.

My biggest challenge now is that I've never done volunteer work before, and while I know I would enjoy doing it, I've been struggling to figure out what to do and how to find it. I hope to keep working on that until I find just the right thing. Until then, I'm going to enjoy the leisurely days, take lots of naps, and do whatever I feel like doing each day until I'm ready to move on to the next thing. Life in "Semi-ER" has been great for me. No regrets!

 

[Mulligan]

I went from working full time to a very part time position about two months ago. I have to admit, I've love the ability to do things at my leisure since I gave up the full time position. I now sleep until I feel like getting up. I do a very lengthy exercise routine in the morning, then I come back and drink my coffee, eat some breakfast, and read the entire newspaper front to back.

I usually put in a few hours a day of work just to keep myself stimulated, but I don't fret about how hard I'm working or what pace I'm going at. I just do enough to keep myself busy without feeling stressed. It's been an incredibly positive experience for me.

My biggest challenge now is that I've never done volunteer work before, and while I know I would enjoy doing it, I've been struggling to figure out what to do and how to find it. I hope to keep working on that until I find just the right thing. Until then, I'm going to enjoy the leisurely days, take lots of naps, and do whatever I feel like doing each day until I'm ready to move on to the next thing. Life in "Semi-ER" has been great for me. No regrets!

Ready, you are doing your routine in the order as that gets you in a better frame of mind for the day. Regretfully, I am too lazy and do it backwards. I get my coffee going, walk out to the driveway in my boxers and get the paper. Take the coffee and paper back to bed and read it cover to cover. Then I drag out the IPad and check the net and emails, and eat. Next thing I know it's noon already and then I go work out. Now it's 2 o'clock, and I haven't ate lunch or got anything done yet!

 

[Milton]

My biggest challenge now is that I've never done volunteer work before, and while I know I would enjoy doing it, I've been struggling to figure out what to do and how to find it. I hope to keep working on that until I find just the right thing.

There are so many volunteer opportunists out there that it should be relatively easy to find one that ties in with your interests. Just be prepared for a lengthy application process. What with interviews, reference checks, police background checks, orientation sessions, training programs, health screening (for hospitals etc.), it often takes longer to start working for free than to work for wages! But be patient, it's all worth it.

When does ER get hard?Whenever Mrs. ER wears her skimpy French maid's uniform.

Are you familiar with the French Maids' "How to Give CPR" video? You might enjoy it.

 

[redduck]

Are you familiar with the French Maids' "How to Give CPR" video?

I am now.
Thanks, Milton.

 

[brewer12345]

Like Brewer12345, this is the part that has me a bit scared, as well. Up until this past week at work, my plan was to retire anywhere between 2016 and 2020, (age 46 to 50), depending on the economy, my own financial situation, how well-balanced the BS buckets are, etc. Well, last week, let's just say the kitty litter hit the fan.

I got so fed up that I almost turned in my badges and walked out. Several times. Ended up taking off Friday to cool off. It didn't work. I'm supposed to meet with my immediate supervisor, who's as useless as teets on a boar, and another manager who feels my pain and is rooting for me. But right now I'm so fed up that I'm thinking of taking Monday off as well. I don't even want to look at that building, let alone go in it. So I might just tell them let's meet for lunch nearby, or something.

So in my case, obviously, I'm running away from something, rather than to something. Firecalc says I have about a 95% chance of making it. I'm scared of the potential change, but at the same time, giddy about the possibilities.

This is probably an obscure reference, but I feel kinda like Burgess Meredith in that Twilight Zone episode, just before he broke his glasses. There's "Time Enough At Last!!"

So what happened? I was on vacation for the past week in a place where I would have to drive a solid half an hour just to get a cell signal, so I missed lots of things.

For the record, my direct boss is easily the best manager I have ever worked for, but he has a boar tit above him and a relentless micromanager above the tit. So even with a sympathetic, pragmatic and generally pleasant person directly above me, it does not matter. I've been ready to turn in my ID weekly in the past 3 or 4 months, but I am hanging on until the end of the year. If I did not have that light at the end of the tunnel, I would be going nuts.

 

[JonnyM]

It was never hard

It just is not hard. We are 7 years in. There are still times when we look at each other and the knowing grin appears on our faces. OK sometimes we do the ER happy dance, but only in public, and only if we think folk might be watching... ER is simply a wonderful thing. It will never be hard.

 

[Which Roger]

But getting used to the idea is hard. I have a few more working days left, but I'm using up my remaining vacation days, so I will never again have to go to work on a Monday. But yesterday, I kept "forgetting" that I don't have to sit around on Sunday evening dreading going to work on Monday.

 

[truenorth418]

But getting used to the idea is hard. I have a few more working days left, but I'm using up my remaining vacation days, so I will never again have to go to work on a Monday. But yesterday, I kept "forgetting" that I don't have to sit around on Sunday evening dreading going to work on Monday.

I have been retired for almost 2 years. After working at big companies for over 20 years, I still feel a little shudder come Sunday nights. And, similarly, I still get a rush on Fridays. I wonder when, or if, those feelings will ever go away.

 

[Ready]

I have been retired for almost 2 years. After working at big companies for over 20 years, I still feel a little shudder come Sunday nights. And, similarly, I still get a rush on Fridays. I wonder when, or if, those feelings will ever go away.

That's funny - I am finding the opposite now. I can't wait for the weekdays to come so that I can ride my bike and do my shopping without all the crazy traffic that comes with the weekends. It's so busy in my town on the weekends that I tend to stay in most of the time to avoid the craziness, and can't wait until Monday for things to slow down again so I can leave the house and play!

 

[truenorth418]

That's funny - I am finding the opposite now. I can't wait for the weekdays to come so that I can ride my bike and do my shopping without all the crazy traffic that comes with the weekends. It's so busy in my town on the weekends that I tend to stay in most of the time to avoid the craziness, and can't wait until Monday for things to slow down again so I can leave the house and play!

Don't get me wrong. I love hanging around my neighborhood on weekdays, especially in the morning. . There is never a crowd at the gym. Or the supermarket. And I have the park all to myself. It is awesome.