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Old 01-20-2013, 01:16 PM   #21
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Both my parents were ill for many years prior to their deaths. My mom died at 74 with congestive heart failure and COPD. Never smoked, tried to eat right and exercise until she just couldn't any longer. Was on oxygen and homebound for 7 years before she died.

My dad died at 80. Had dementia for 10 years, along with severe arthritis that was painful enough to cause him to scream just when turning over in bed. He lived with me for the last five years of his life, and it was quite and eye-opening lesson in aging.

As Betty Davis said; "Getting old is not for sissies."

I fear prolonged illness like the above much more than death.
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Old 01-20-2013, 02:05 PM   #22
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...
I fear prolonged illness like the above much more than death.
+1

So, I am going to party while I still can.
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Old 01-20-2013, 02:46 PM   #23
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I will be turning 50 in two weeks. This thread is making me do some thinking. I used to always think that people in their 50's were middle-aged but I now realize that you have to be pretty optimistic to make this assumption. I'm glad I don't know everything about the future.
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Old 01-21-2013, 12:12 AM   #24
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I lost many of my closest friends in accidents when I was in the Army. We used to joke that a Chinook pilot who was smoking two packs a day and worried about getting lung cancer later in his life was an extreme optimist. For the last 20 years that I have been out it has been nice to not lose so many friends. In just the last year I have lost a couple friends around my age and it brings back that feeling that it does not matter what you do health wise. When it is your time it is your time and there is nothing you can do about it.
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Old 01-21-2013, 09:19 AM   #25
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My husband died from a dissecting aortic aneurism at age 50.5 in 2004.
He had sleep apnea (and used his CPAP) and high blood pressure, which was under control through medication. He was going to the gym almost every day, had lost a lot of weight, and was in excellent physical shape. No symptoms, at least nothing he reported to me or his doctor.
It just happened.

I was 46 when he passed.

As the survivor, I greet every day with a smile. When I hear people complain about the minor annoyances of life, it is all I can do to keep this remark in my head instead of voicing it.

"Did you happen to see the sun come up today ?"

I do not say that to anyone, but I do think it.
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Old 01-21-2013, 02:44 PM   #26
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I am 43 and expecting to retire by the end of this year. I have known a number of people die in their 40s and 50s. It makes me think about bringing my retirement forward, but it doesn't actually make me do it, because the prospect of running out of money in old age still scares me. (It reminds me of a question that used to intrigue me when I was younger - if someone pulled off a fraud and lived in luxury for decades and then got caught in old age and put in prison for the rest of their life, did they get away with it or not get away with it? I vere towards not.)
I have recently being doing some research (books and internet) into health, but what worries me (even) more than hearing about people my age dying is my sister's recent diagnosis at the age of 44 with osteoporosis. I am about as keen to avoid painful, chronic conditions as life-threatening ones.
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Old 01-21-2013, 03:36 PM   #27
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We were given a very harsh reminder of our mortality on November 29. Guy went to bed and didn't wake up -- just a few days after he turned 61.

I mentioned in another post we are increasing our withdrawal rate.
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Old 01-21-2013, 06:23 PM   #28
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My sincere condolences to all.

DH ER'd in March, 2009 at the age of 54. His weight, bp and cholesterol have always been perfect (and still are). At the age of 56 he was diagnosed with cancer and in December of last year (age 58) was diagnosed with heart disease.

We do the best we can to enjoy each day and are thankful for retirement.

Like my sig line says....'there's no need to complicate, our time is short...'
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Old 01-21-2013, 06:38 PM   #29
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My sincere condolences to all.

DH ER'd in March, 2009 at the age of 54. His weight, bp and cholesterol have always been perfect (and still are). At the age of 56 he was diagnosed with cancer and in December of last year (age 58) was diagnosed with heart disease.

We do the best we can to enjoy each day and are thankful for retirement.

Like my sig line says....'there's no need to complicate, our time is short...'
And I know he would say he is still a lucky man--to have you to come home to.
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Old 01-21-2013, 07:03 PM   #30
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I am going to a wake tonight for a former work colleague from Mega Corp. Several of us meet every couple of months for dinner, and its always enjoyable to recount the good ole days and catch up on whats going on in each others lives. He was 71, eight years older than me, and has been retired for the last 4 years. It makes me sad that he leaves behind a lovely wife, two sons and grand childeren and that he had such a short number of years to enjoy his retirement. I am finding events like this having a big impact on me, as it becomes a strong reminder of one's own mortality, and points to the uncertainty of how many days each of us has left. The only positive here is that it makes me look forward to April 30th, my retirement date, with even more enthusiasm.
Life is precious. I realize that more with each passing day. Carpe diem.
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Old 01-21-2013, 07:50 PM   #31
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Life is precious. I realize that more with each passing day. Carpe diem.
Very true.

One of the best grief coping mechanisms I came up with is this...
I had 25 years with my beloved husband. He has been gone for a little more than 8 years. In spite of the deep loss I feel, and always will, I am still ahead of the "game".

Today, I have a wonderful life with Mr B. It is very likely I will survive him. And then again maybe not. No guarantees.

So I treasure each day I see the sun come up, for myself and for him.
And the next one...carpe diem indeed.
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Old 01-21-2013, 07:53 PM   #32
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We were given a very harsh reminder of our mortality on November 29. Guy went to bed and didn't wake up -- just a few days after he turned 61.

I mentioned in another post we are increasing our withdrawal rate.
I'm 48 and have had nearly a decade of FI and early retirement. If I was diagnosed with terminal cancer tomorrow, I would die knowing that I was very fortunate and lucky to have had a decade of health, freedom,and surf outside the cube (fattening pin). But, I don't have plans to kick the bucket anytime soon as I need to keep up with young DW and toddler DD.....hopefully for at least 2-3 decades more. Indeed, seize the day.

Surf
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Old 01-21-2013, 10:30 PM   #33
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And I know he would say he is still a lucky man--to have you to come home to.
Thank you...what a lovely thing to say.

This thread makes me think of the song...'The road is long...with many a winding turn'...
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Old 01-23-2013, 09:08 AM   #34
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We were given a very harsh reminder of our mortality on November 29. Guy went to bed and didn't wake up -- just a few days after he turned 61.

I mentioned in another post we are increasing our withdrawal rate.
Sometimes things like that do remind you that you can't take it with you. The WSJ had an article a few days ago about trusting your kids with a significant inheritance before they are ready. Perhaps Warren Buffett is right that kids don't need their parents money if they're self-sufficient.
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Old 01-23-2013, 01:27 PM   #35
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As the survivor, I greet every day with a smile. When I hear people complain about the minor annoyances of life, it is all I can do to keep this remark in my head instead of voicing it.

"Did you happen to see the sun come up today ?"

I do not say that to anyone, but I do think it.
Thanks for this, my friend. A good thing to remember, even if it came from a place of great sadness.
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