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Where to go?
Old 08-12-2010, 06:31 AM   #1
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Where to go?

My DH and I have been debating on where we will go when we retire. I say the a house by some sort of water and he wants to go to the country. I am not one for bugs and nature and need people around me lol. How did you decide if you moved after you retired?
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Old 08-12-2010, 07:44 AM   #2
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My original "retirement plan" was to put the snow thrower in the back of the pickup truck and drive south until people started asking what it was. DW, however, had other ideas.

Her main criteria was that the location be within an hour's drive of FIL and her brother/favorite niece, both of whom live within sight of each other. After due thought and consideration I realized that if we get a lot of snow it won't matter since if I'm retired I wouldn't have to go out in it anyway.

So we ended up with a nice place in a golf course community (neither plays, but she loves the house) that is also an easy 35-minute drive to FIL's place even at 5:00 Friday afternoon.

The biggest disagreement was whether to pay for the brick front on the house. My argument was that the brick front wouldn't keep the rain out any better than vinyl siding, we can't see it from inside, and who cares what the neighbors think, so why pay more? But to keep the peace, the house has the brick front. I have to admit it does look nice.
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Old 08-12-2010, 07:49 AM   #3
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To the OP, Please don't advertise in the forums.
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Old 08-12-2010, 01:06 PM   #4
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The biggest disagreement was whether to pay for the brick front on the house. My argument was that the brick front wouldn't keep the rain out any better than vinyl siding, we can't see it from inside, and who cares what the neighbors think, so why pay more? But to keep the peace, the house has the brick front. I have to admit it does look nice.
if its any consolation or consideration, brick front (only) is optimal from an appraisal pay back point of view
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Old 08-12-2010, 01:14 PM   #5
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My DH and I have been debating on where we will go when we retire. I say the a house by some sort of water and he wants to go to the country. I am not one for bugs and nature and need people around me lol. How did you decide if you moved after you retired?
is there no water in the country?

why can't you live on the water in the country?

or on the water, in the country, where there are neighbours?

key questions:

- weather preference
- proximity to family and friends
- bi-location option, snowbirding
- what position would the spouse left behind be in, following the death of the other (or is there a path of retreat)
- taxation

My general suggestion for those attracted to warmer winters is to take the very long drive from Boca Chica Texas over and down to Key West, then back up the other side to Charleston. A particular area might capture your imagination.

There are beautiful homes selling for less than 100K in South West Florida right now.
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Old 08-12-2010, 01:19 PM   #6
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We had an affinity for two northern cities in our first 6 years of retirement. Then three deaths opened up a lot of options. Now we snowbird and also travel during the summer.
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Old 08-12-2010, 02:12 PM   #7
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I am not one for bugs and nature and need people around me lol. How did you decide if you moved after you retired?
The one who doesn't need people can always hide out at home while the one who does has a varied social life, if you are living where there are a lot of people who are open to social interaction with new arrivals. If you go somewhere isolated, you are pretty much SOL in satisfying your needs.

Ha
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Old 08-15-2010, 05:57 PM   #8
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Here's how DW and I resolve such questions--big or small:

One of us says, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is it for us to live near family?" Or, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is it for us to live near the mountains." Etc.

Once we know how important things are to each other, we usually find a good compromise. (Or I just say, "Whatever you want, Dear.")
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Old 08-15-2010, 06:40 PM   #9
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Unless you have family nearby I don't recommend moving across the country.

Retiring to a rural area rarely works out well for older women. My FIL & MIL retired to a lake in the coast range. At least twice a week they drove to the city to participate in activities with friends. He loved the lake, fished every opportunity. She liked it BUT after he died she was lonely and was almost killed falling asleep while driving.

You are in VA so I don't have any suggestions about places that meet both criteria, but if the PNW was your destination ...
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Old 08-15-2010, 06:46 PM   #10
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Retiring to a rural area rarely works out well for older women...
Up in our boonies 2nd home in the AZ high country, we have three female neighbors who live alone in their very comfortable homes. They are either widows or divorcees who prefer the solitude and quietness of the area. Strong-willed and interesting people, I might add. I don't have any female relative who would do that.
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Old 08-15-2010, 06:55 PM   #11
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the great thing about snowbirding or its variations is that you get to experience a situation new and optimized for your current needs, for 6 months of the year, then go back for the nice season, renew old relationships, and maintain a fluid path of retreat in the case of catastrophic illness or death of one partner.

for the northern base, there may be a transition from the big house to just cottage on lake, then to condo in town. The condo in town is your zero maintenance safe house when something goes wrong healthwise, and provides the comfort of continuity of memories and familiarity to the spouse left behind.

then again, there is something to be said for staying in the moment and not borrowing trouble.
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Old 08-15-2010, 07:44 PM   #12
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We did a lot of soul searching about this very idea before FIRE. It was a given we wouldn't go too far from family. We ended up 3 1/2 hours from DD and DGD, and 4 1/2 from not so D mom. We looked at country, mountains, ocean, pretty much everything. For us it worked out best to be on the water near the shore. We like the open view and lots of sunlight. In the mountains for the most part there was always a lot of shade, unless you lived on top of the mountain, in which case there was a lot of wind and every walk ended up finishing up hill. I go camping to get my mountain fix. We're near a big resort town so we have city and congestion (and girls in bikinis) 3-4 months/year. The rest of the year we're pretty much in an agricultural area.

My point is we thought about what we wanted, prioritized, looked around (a lot), and then made a choice. It's not perfect, but we're happy. Put in the work and you'll probably be happy with whatever you decide.
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Old 08-15-2010, 11:06 PM   #13
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Here's how DW and I resolve such questions--big or small:

One of us says, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is it for us to live near family?" Or, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is it for us to live near the mountains." Etc.

Once we know how important things are to each other, we usually find a good compromise. (Or I just say, "Whatever you want, Dear.")
...if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Really though, we talk enough about these types of things that we know what each other likes, dislikes, and what would be cause for disappointment or unhappiness, and what might not be optimal, but not disappointing. I guess the problem happens when you are diametrically opposed in your desires. Maybe in that case you find a place in between, a car for one to go to the city, and an RV for the other to go to the country...just a thought.

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