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Will I have the Cahunnas to do it?
Old 06-06-2016, 06:41 PM   #1
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Will I have the Cahunnas to do it?

Ok, first off, not even sure how you spell "Cahunnas" ... English is not my strong suit. I am sure this subject has been over analyzed on this site so please point me to any previous discussions. I have to believe my dilemma is/was experienced by many here...

For my entire life I have planned/mapped out my FIRE. I have been extremely fortunate (which I acknowledge) and have pretty much hit/surpassed my target (which has changed/grown as life happens). So now, at 52, I am tracking to hit my "number" at 55. By then I will have 4 kids out of college and probably a 2 weddings out of the way. While always living below my means and saving a significant %, we have lived the "good life" and my DW was able to stay home and raise the kids. FIRE income is fairly generous as we would like to to do some things hat cost $. Self employed, don't hate what I do, but running somewhat out of gas. So I am trying to land the plane smoothly here over the next 3 yrs and am hitting turbulence. Did you struggle with any of this and how did you overcome/transition...

- Type A (in business), sole financial provider since I was 26, having a hard time putting my sword down?
- How to transition from producer/saver of assets to consumer?
- How did you find purpose or something that really drives you in FIRE? I'm really asking how you found a real replacement to make you feel productive/relevant?

Weird feeling after dong all the work to get here, almost anticlimactic. I think as the sole financial provider all these years there is this fear of "do I have enough, what if" which haunts me, despite the fact that the math seems to work. I know I don't need my job to confirm my self worth, but I do need to feel like I am still productive/a contributor while on the planet.

I want to take these min yrs to flush all of this out.

What kind of therapy did you go thru to leave the Matrix and find your way?
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Old 06-06-2016, 07:28 PM   #2
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Cojones (a Spanish word)

Urban Dictionary: Cojones
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Old 06-06-2016, 07:45 PM   #3
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While I wasn't self employed, I was a Type A in a high pressure business with demanding clients, difficult deadlines, lots of travel, etc. When I announced that I would be retiring some people who knew me pretty well questioned if I would be climbing the walls in 6 months. I'll admit, I had my doubts too. Not a worry... one of the most surprising things about retiring is how content I can be not doing much of anything and puttering around the house. Between our home, my mother's two homes and commercial property, one-off projects helping others (like serving as my grandmother's guardian and executor and a great aunt's guardian and executor, etc) I seem to find a way to stay pretty busy. This week is a great example... I have something going on every day between golf with friends, volunteer work I am doing, etc.

We were cautions the first couple years of retirement. After a couple years it became apparent that the sky wasn't falling down and we have since been more liberal in our spending. Like all things in life... change is hard.

I guess I am at a stage that I don't need to feel productive/relevant... I have absolutely nobody that I am trying to impress. I get a lot of personal satisfaction out of some volunteer work I have been doing recently and a couple groups of guys who I golf with regularly.
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Old 06-06-2016, 08:05 PM   #4
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You almost spelled it correctly...

...if you were referring to British underwear. If you don't have a pair, you can probably purchase them rather easily.
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Old 06-07-2016, 04:47 AM   #5
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You almost spelled it correctly...

...if you were referring to British underwear. If you don't have a pair, you can probably purchase them rather easily.
I thought the title may have referred to one of those birds you see around Mission, TX.......but they're Chachalacas.
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Old 06-07-2016, 05:18 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by Meadbh View Post
Cojones (a Spanish word)

Urban Dictionary: Cojones
There is also Kahuna, a Hawaiian word for shaman but conventionally used to mean big shot. I was wondering if there was some interesting word combining going on!
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Old 06-07-2016, 06:56 AM   #7
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I am probably as much type A as anyone. My work life and personal life is full of things, mostly related to making money. I have an IT job, plowing snow, mowing grass and other small projects, property manager for a large complex, and managing and maintaining (including rehabbing) my own 25 rentals.

I started slower, but knew my time was limited. I plan on 84+, but who knows. I did not work so hard, for so long, just to give it away. At some point, you have to enjoy it, not just the thrill of making it. Transitioning from a saver to a spender will be difficult.

I set a date, and I am sticking to it. I no longer want to work for others, only to see my hard earned dollars go to others that do not work.
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Old 06-07-2016, 07:56 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by pb4uski View Post
While I wasn't self employed, I was a Type A in a high pressure business with demanding clients, difficult deadlines, lots of travel, etc.

We were cautions the first couple years of retirement. After a couple years it became apparent that the sky wasn't falling down and we have since been more liberal in our spending. Like all things in life... change is hard.
+1 on both of the above comments.

Re: Productivity. For myself, productivity in retirement is still immensely important, but the big difference is that it's now directed at myself, not someone/somewhere 'out there.' So, while I still set very big goals, work to achieve them, and feel immensely satisfied (i.e., productive) when I do, they're now goals like 'Train for 100 mile biking event', 'Learn Spanish in order to live abroad in Spain for six months,' and 'Visit all 59 US National Parks.'

We are now five years into FIRE, and it has honestly gotten better with each passing year as both our interests, and the people those interests have brought into our lives, have expanded. We are currently teetering on the edge of being too committed/busy, which we really don't consider to be a problem at the end of the day.
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Old 06-07-2016, 10:53 AM   #9
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Cojones or cohibas
I thought OP was considering smoking cigars in Cuba.

Now THAT would be a worthwhile objective...

[MOD EDIT]
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Old 06-08-2016, 07:53 AM   #10
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Balls not required for FIRE, just go with careful thought and planning
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Old 06-10-2016, 11:55 PM   #11
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Not a problem if you have interests and activities to pursue outside of work. It's been more than 2 years for me, and, I'm wondering where the retired life is that I had envisioned earlier: time to read books, watch movies, listen to music, and generally be useless. But, being Type Aish (not that I have to be active all the time, but, need something to focus on and be involved in), I haven't had enough time. Learning a new language, going to gym, cooking on my own, etc. leaves me with little time at the end of the day.

As mentioned in another post, if you have personal objectives that you can pursue, retirement can be as purposeful and enriching as a job, but, the rewards are non-monetary.
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Old 06-14-2016, 06:46 AM   #12
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I am 56 and also own my own small business. About 25-30 employees. I procrastinated for years but knew it was time to sell when the money didn't motivate me any longer. One who is not motivated by gain should not run a small business. Have been FI since 40. Finally decided to sell to my senior employees who will pay me over time. I stay part-time (3 days per week) until December 31 and then retired on December 31. The transaction includes a 5-year consulting contract which requires no work on my part. Closing is in two weeks. My youngest son is a sophmore in college and my oldest is about to graduate. My wife and I are very excited about starting this new life.

There was a post earlier about "What I want Most". Here was my response:

1. To have a vacation consisting of more than 5 business days
2. To have a weekend without constant e-mails from work
3. To not have to worry if I generated enough business this week
4. To not have to deal with unreasonable clients
5. To not have to deal with skyrocketing health care costs which increase almost 20% per year.
6. To not have to deal with employees complaining to me about #5
7. To not have to deal with employees
8. To be in charge of my own time
9. To be a first hand participant in my children's success
10. To go where I want when I want.
11. To enjoy the fruits of a 30 year career before its too late.

So I am retiring December 31 this year after selling my business. It has been a great ride but when the satisfaction of a large bonus check did little and I no longer had the desire to chase another new client regardless of the potential profit, I knew it was time to leave and turn the business over to younger more eager people who deserved "their time".
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Old 06-14-2016, 07:34 AM   #13
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11. To enjoy the fruits of a 30 year career before its too late.
Like you, I am 56. I have been a W2 employee my entire career, but also developed and ran businesses on the side. Most would consider these businesses full time jobs, in and of themselves, but I did it while also working 40+ hours a week. Owned and operated a tavern, got an MBA, owned and operated a lawn snow plowing business, managed my own 25 rentals, etc.

At some point, we either have to enjoy the fruits of our labor, or give it away.

I can say there were many days that I did not want to mow grass in the rain, or in the 100 degree heat, or shovel snow at 2 AM in a -20 below windchill, fix equipment outside when it was sub-zero, close a bar down at 2 AM and open it back up at 4 AM for breakfast, work 24 hours straight, many times, etc.

I too am looking forward to not going to work and spending time doing more what I would rather be doing.
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Old 06-14-2016, 05:38 PM   #14
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I am very type A, or at least thought I was until I retired. I now find I can stare off into the woods for hours and not feel I've wasted a minute. I went from 150 mph on a Friday to 5 mph the following Monday. The roses smell great! I had a 3% WR budgeted which made me feel "OK" but living the past year of ER has been so wonderful that 3% feels perfect in retrospect.
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Old 06-14-2016, 06:14 PM   #15
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Cojones is the wrong part to be thinking with...come on in the water's fine!
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