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Old 08-05-2014, 03:13 PM   #21
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In my case, that family member is my father. I told him I was planning to retire in the next 5 years (around age 57) and he just doesn't understand it. He has accepted that I'm serious, but every conversation we've had about it has him suggesting new careers I can start to make money.

In this case, I think his concern is twofold. 1) He sold his business and retired about 7 years ago (at age 70) and probably still regrets it. He's used to running things and running the condo association just doesn't cut it. He loves being around people, and misses all that social stimulation. 2) We don't talk about money in specifics, so he probably truly is worried that I won't have enough money. While I do live in a big house and like rather expensive travel (things he can easily see), I live very frugally in just about every other area of life. (He keeps wanting me to talk to "his guy" for investing -- I keep demurring!)

So it seems that he truly is concerned for me, but through his lens, not mine. I'll get him to come around And in the meantime, he does have some great advice for the areas of retirement that I would like his opinion on!
It's kinda funny...my Grandad (really, he's my father since he raised me and my actual father is MIA) owned his own business and was successful with it. He closed up shop when he was 62 and he has told me repeatedly that the only regret he has in life was that he didn't retire much earlier. In relative terms, he did (and continues to have) a good retirement, but I think he would have liked to do more with his DW that wasn't in very good health for several years before her passing a couple of years ago. I suspect that he could have retired 15 years earlier...but his generation was a glass-empty in regards to money. He's absolutely ecstatic at me being FIRE, so we get along pretty well.
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Old 08-05-2014, 03:17 PM   #22
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You've done something you've dreamed of and planned for - why worry what anyone else says? Tell them the truth & if they can't handle it, find new friends.

My friends on the whole have been very supportive. They occasionally express envy(eg. on a Sunday night), but in a nice way & are happy for us. DW's parents initially were aghast, but once we explained that we had thought it through, they accepted it - though I still get the occasional "are you going back to work?" question. I don't see any malice in the question. I don't make any effort to associate with a person who cannot accept what we're doing.

Life is too short. That's the reason we ER. It is also too short to have negative people in your life. If they can't be positive about your dreams after suitable explanation, leave them behind.
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Old 08-05-2014, 03:22 PM   #23
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You've done something you've dreamed of and planned for - why worry what anyone else says? Tell them the truth & if they can't handle it, find new friends.

My friends on the whole have been very supportive. They occasionally express jealousy (eg. on a Sunday night), but in a nice way & are happy for us. DW's parents initially were aghast, but once we explained that we had thought it through, they accepted it - though I still get the occasional "are you going back to work?" question. I don't see any malice in the question. I don't make any effort to associate with a person who cannot accept what we're doing.

Life is too short. That's the reason we ER. It is also too short to have negative people in your life. If they can't be positive about your dreams after suitable explanation, leave them behind.
Actually, I have very few "true friends" and most of them are overwhelmingly supportive even if they harass me about it. I have found that the same tight group of friends I had in school continue to be my best friends today. The BIGGEST culprit(s) have been the one family member (who I would LOVE to disown!) and a couple of co-w*rkers that I could really give a royal flush about.
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Old 08-05-2014, 03:27 PM   #24
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To borrow the phrase from the movie "Princess Bride":
..." I don't think that word (bored) means what you think it does..."
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Old 08-05-2014, 03:33 PM   #25
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I'm going to have to remember this, thank you! I'd usually respond with something like "Well I'm bored with w*rking anyway, so what's the difference?", but your way is a lot more catchy!
Yes I'll have to remember this too. Work could certainly be said to be sometimes 'exciting' but not the kind of excitement that is conducive to a long and healthy life in the opinion of many.
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Old 08-05-2014, 03:38 PM   #26
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Yes I'll have to remember this too. W*rk could certainly be said to be sometimes 'exciting' but not the kind of excitement that is conducive to a long and healthy life in the opinion of many.
And in the world of w*rk, I have one of the best gigs out there...but I won't do it for free, so it's not THAT great and won't miss about 95% of it. Time is finite and intend to enjoy all that I can!
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Old 08-05-2014, 03:38 PM   #27
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Most here haven't found retirement boring (a few just won't admit it), but it certainly happens to some people - the fortunate few who actually enjoy their careers for example. I suspect retirement boredom often afflicts people who were largely bored outside their careers to begin with.

Top 10 reasons people get bored with retirement | Moneywise News

Quote:
Top reasons retirees get disillusioned
1. I missed the camaraderie I had at work
2. The novelty of not working wore off
3. I was bored
4. My mind wasn't being pushed
5. I didn't have as much disposable income as I thought
6. The glow just wears off because you get used to it
7. When everyday ended being the same as the day before
8. I didn't have many friends who had retired
9. The nice weather ended and I had t spend more time indoors
10. I was lonely
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Old 08-05-2014, 03:52 PM   #28
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For the older folks that give us a hard time it may be a generational issue.

My brother lost his job when he was 41 and has never worked again by his choice (he probably has the first dime he was given as a kid). For about five years our dad constantly bugged him about when he was going to find a job. The answer "I'm not" wasn't accepted.

Caused major bad blood to the point that my brother no longer comes to family events. Very sad.
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Old 08-05-2014, 03:56 PM   #29
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For the older folks that give us a hard time it may be a generational issue.

My brother lost his job when he was 41 and has never worked again by his choice (he probably has the first dime he was given as a kid). For about five years our dad constantly bugged him about when he was going to find a job. The answer "I'm not" wasn't accepted.

Caused major bad blood to the point that my brother no longer comes to family events. Very sad.
Wow...that's horrible. If your brother wasn't going around begging for money or other financial help, then what would be the big deal? People can be very strange sometimes.
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Old 08-05-2014, 03:59 PM   #30
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I can't wait to be bored.

As I shared last year, I can always vacuum the house. (That' didn't go over too well.)
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Old 08-05-2014, 04:03 PM   #31
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Wow...that's horrible. If your brother wasn't going around begging for money or other financial help, then what would be the big deal? People can be very strange sometimes.

I never have figured out why dad gave him such a hard time... And yes, dad can be strange. :-)


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Old 08-05-2014, 04:12 PM   #32
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I was told the same thing by some people - including some people who knew me well.

Boredom has not been an issue - occasionally, yes - but overall, no.

When I'n not golfing I have been pleasantly surprised how content I can be just puttering around.

One nice thing is it had freed up a lot of time for me to help friends and family with different little projects that keep me busy doing interesting things and helps them out. I was guardian for an old great aunt who didn't have anyone to help her and took a load off my aunt who would have otherwise had to do it long distance. I helped BIL's mom get away from an annuity and into Vanguard. Etc.
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Old 08-05-2014, 04:16 PM   #33
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I have heard that they are making the new guys (in the AF anyway) go through a basic finance class once they get to their first duty station. I am not sure what this involves though...I have to assume that with some of the sweet rides the youngins are cruising around in, it's nothing more than "Pay your bills to stay out of trouble!".
I'm an O5(sel) and I am starting to see some of this same pushback from friends when/if we discuss my plans after my 20. Most of them smirk when I say I don't plan to work, and a few have even said "You can't afford to live in Southern California on your pension and your wife's salary."

I usually just kind of smile and say, "OK!" Though I did tell one of them, "You're right: I plan on my wife not working as well!" I am kind of surprised that even the officers I talk to don't seem to think it's in the realm of possibility.

Then again, one of my closest friends dresses his three-year-old in designer clothes, enjoys particularly expensive habits, and, to my knowledge, had no savings of his own until he married a few years ago always counting on the pension being enough. He's very excited about his sales job with "unlimited earnings potential" that he starts shortly after his military retirement... but that's not for me...
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Old 08-05-2014, 04:17 PM   #34
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Presumably they would've saved 10%+ of their income for at least 15 years prior to retirement. A single person or someone with a working spouse shouldn't have to work anymore once they start their pension. If they are married with dependent children and their spouse doesn't work then I could see them needing additional income. An E-6 retiring today with barely 20 years would have their pension start at just over $22K/yr. Any officer who puts in 20 years should be able to retire on their pension kids or no kids.
I'm not sure if your comments are based on first-hand experience in the military or not.

In the lower enlisted grades, saving 10% of income is a mighty big challenge. Not that it can't be done, but I'd venture to say that very few are able to do it.

I agree with you that a single person might be able to complete a military career, retire as an E-6/7 and live without working again. When you talk about working spouses, it might not be as simple as it looks (my original point). With transfers every 3-5 years, military spouses often find getting a job to be very difficult. (Employers know they will be gone in a few years and may be looking for longer-term employees.) When they are able to find work, it can often be at the lower end of the pay scale and if day-care is an issue, well....

As for officers, if there is college tuition looming for kids, it's not that easy to get by on just the pension. O-5's and above should have an easier time. But a lot of officers who work their way up through the ranks retire as O-3's/4's - certainly decent pensions but not huge.

Finally, housing can chew up a lot of a soldier's/sailor's/airman's/marine's/coastie's income in areas where there is not base housing available. These folks don't get a choice of whether or not they get stationed in a high-cost area (think Washington, DC) and a 3 year tour with high housing costs plus an incredibly long commute can not only make it impossible to save, it can cause people to dig into previous savings.

My comments are not meant to imply that a cola'd pension is not a very nice thing - it is- but there is a lot more to it than meets the eye.
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Old 08-05-2014, 04:35 PM   #35
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Presumably they would've saved 10%+ of their income for at least 15 years prior to retirement. A single person or someone with a working spouse shouldn't have to work anymore once they start their pension. If they are married with dependent children and their spouse doesn't work then I could see them needing additional income. An E-6 retiring today with barely 20 years would have their pension start at just over $22K/yr. Any officer who puts in 20 years should be able to retire on their pension kids or no kids.
Yeah, that's just not true. Just like anyone else, it comes down to income vs. expenses. An O5 retiring in 2020 (my case) will start with a pension of about $55K/yr. I've saved more than (and most of the time MUCH more than) 10% of my gross since I was an O-1, and it'll be tight in five years as to whether I meet my "number." DW and I are not extravagant spenders, but we also don't want to HAVE to move away from our current high cost of living locale, which really drives what we need to retire. We may CHOOSE to move...

It's all about choices.

So, it's not just "O5 pension should be enough". It should be "O5 pension should be enough *IF*..."
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Old 08-05-2014, 04:41 PM   #36
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It's been two months since I retired and I have not been bored at all. It's been all that I expected and then some. I know it's only been two months and it's summer but so far it's been GREAT.
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Old 08-05-2014, 05:13 PM   #37
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Your best revenge will be to simply smile, nod, ignore them, and go about enjoying your retirement for years while they remain slaves to the credit industry.
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"You'll Be Bored!!!"
Old 08-05-2014, 05:43 PM   #38
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"You'll Be Bored!!!"

There was one person in our family, one of DW's uncles, who seemed to get quite cross with me when I stopped working. He thought that I was taking advantage of his niece. But when he inquired about it, DW replied that we had sufficient means for me not to work anymore. Now he stopped talking to both of us, which is strange because by all accounts he is far wealthier than we are. MIL thinks that he is jealous because his own kids are struggling. Who knows. People are strange. And trying to figure them out bores me way more then retirement.
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Old 08-05-2014, 05:44 PM   #39
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. . .Why would you work when you don't need to?
Because one likes it? I absolutely loved all but one of my j*bs across my 32 year career. I had two years buried in the middle that I was not fond of but the rest of it was a pretty good run. At different times I was on call 24x7, worked lots of Sundays, had to travel full time (like leave on Sunday night and return on Friday 48 weeks a year -- did that almost four years), had customers literally scream in my face giving me a good view of their dental work, etc. so there was plenty to complain about, but in general I liked it. Probably a minority here.
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Old 08-05-2014, 05:59 PM   #40
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To me, one of the best benefits of being FI is that I don't have to please anyone (DW excepted). I'd jumped to that tune since I was an ankle biter and it felt good to just flip the switch.
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