Accept a job offer then decline

[confused123]

I feel guilty about leaving the current employer. In addition, I feel so unethical to have accepted a job offer but considering another offer. I know it's unacceptable to accept an offer and then decline it in favor of another one. Burning the bridge of an employer or a certain manager may have serious consequences. That is, you will never be hired by that company or that manager. Have anyone faced this situation before? What did you do?

[daystar]

I was in this situation. I committed to being an Americorps volunteer for 1 year. About 1 month before I was supposed to start, I got an offer of a HR specialist with a DOD agency. The position was exactly what I was looking for. I would also receive two promotions within two years as an HR specialist as long as my performance was acceptable.

I called up the Americorps program manager and pleaded my case. Even though there was nothing legally keeping me from leaving, I felt that I made a promise to this manager that I would be in Americorps for a year. I explained the situation to her and asked her if she would let me out of my committment. She said yes, and then I accepted the HR specialist job.

[Spanky]

Daystar,

In retrospect, do you have any regret for not making the commitment? Are you enjoying the HR job?

Spanky

[runchman]

My wife faced a similar situation, she was leaving moto*ola for a job in downtown Chicago (pita commute), when she really wanted to go to s*n microsystems. Well lo and behold the day before she was to take her new job sun came through with an offer.

She talked to the hr person at moto, where she was leaving from, and the HR person said absolutely, positively do what is best for you. My wife did, and the company she turned down after accepting an offer was completely understanding.

Do what is best for you ! A week after it happens, the company you turned down will have forgotten you even existed. It's your life.

- john

[Texas Proud]

Like runchman said..... do what is BEST for you... not accepting the most money as that is not always the best...

And yes, some managers will be mad and not understand, but some will if you tell them honestly.... but, it does not matter even if they are mad...

I have heard (way back when....) where a company made an offer to a college student... then just before they were to report, gave them notice they did not need them anymore... and they did not have a chance to accept one of their other offers as they had already declined them... and also remember you are just a paycheck to them.... if they need to reduce force, bye bye...

[donheff]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texas Proud I have heard (way back when....) where a company made an offer to a college student... then just before they were to report, gave them notice they did not need them anymore... and they did not have a chance to accept one of their other offers as they had already declined them... and also remember you are just a paycheck to them.... if they need to reduce force, bye bye...

In 1980, when Reagan came in, he froze all Federal hiring. The bar was applied to people who had been given notice that they were hired but had not yet been sworn in and entered on duty. We had people with scheduled start dates who had moved cross country that we turned away at the door.

Do what works best for you. Be honest and polite with the employer you are stiffing - don't just fail to show up.

[Khan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by donheff In 1980, when Reagan came in, he froze all Federal hiring. The bar was applied to people who had been given notice that they were hired but had not yet been sworn in and entered on duty. We had people with scheduled start dates who had moved cross country that we turned away at the door. Do what works best for you. Be honest and polite with the employer you are stiffing - don't just fail to show up.

After his inauguration in Jan '81, Reagan retroactively froze Federal hiring to Election Day (Nov '80).

[Vincenzo]

A company would most likely not hestitate in the least to lay a person off, regardless of any financial hardships the person being laid-off may face. Do what's best for YOU. No company will.

[confused123]

I truly appreciate all your inputs. They really help me to cope with the guilt as I begin a new chapter of my life before ER.

[Spanky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vincenzo A company would most likely not hestitate in the least to lay a person off, regardless of any financial hardships the person being laid-off may face. Do what's best for YOU. No company will.

It's true that we need to do what's best for us. However, it's still wrong (morally) to rescind. A company can also rescind an offer under certain circumstances (mostly financial). However, we are dealing with a person (not a company) who has trust in you. Thus, it is very, very difficult not to feel bad since you are letting that person down.

[Caroline]

Quote:

It's true that we need to do what's best for us. However, it's still wrong (morally) to rescind. A company can also rescind an offer under certain circumstances (mostly financial). However, we are dealing with a person (not a company) who has trust in you. Thus, it is very, very difficult not to feel bad since you are letting that person down.

I was laid off once by someone who told me how sorry he was, since he considered me a personal friend. Trust had nothing to do with it.

On their side, needs of the business always come first. And that includes the need of the business to increase its already handsome profit to obscene levels by laying off workers anytime they choose.

On our side (wage slaves), the needs of the family and the psyche always come first. Period.

Look at it this way. If you stayed with the first job you'd be unhappy and unproductive. That's human nature. Clear out, and give the company the chance to get someone who really wants to be there.

[Spanky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caroline I was laid off once by someone who told me how sorry he was, since he considered me a personal friend. Trust had nothing to do with it.

It must have been difficult to inform someone that she/he is laid off.

Quote:

On their side, needs of the business always come first. And that includes the need of the business to increase its already handsome profit to obscene levels by laying off workers anytime they choose.

That's a healthy way of looking at it. When I was laid off a few years ago, I said to myself that it was business as usual and nothing personal - get over it and move on.

Quote:

On our side (wage slaves), the needs of the family and the psyche always come first. Period.

Agree.

[Vincenzo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spanky When I was laid off a few years ago, I said to myself that it was business as usual and nothing personal

Yes, and it works both ways. It's only business.

[Brat]

The sooner you recind the easier it is for them to go back to your hiring pool. Make the best decision for you.

[sgeeeee]

If I felt certain that the best thing for me and my family was to rescind an acceptance, I would do it in a heartbeat. If I felt personal loyalty to the person I had made a committment to, then I would explain and appologize. I would not do something I thought was wrong for me and my family simply because of a committment I made to an employer.

The problem is that we seldom "know" what job committment is going to be best for ourselves. Usually, there are a multitude of conflicting factors that make the decision mostly guess-work. Even if one position seems significantly better than the other -- in today's fast-paced corporate environment, everything could change at either company in a heartbeat.


Good luck

[Nords]

xxx, are you having another identity crisis? And what in the world is that in your avatar?

This board needs an "enlarge avatar" or "Google avatar" feature...

[Spanky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxx The problem is that we seldom "know" what job committment is going to be best for ourselves. Usually, there are a multitude of conflicting factors that make the decision mostly guess-work.

An article form Marty Nemko, a career consultant, suggests that we perform some investigation before starting a job, such as immediate assignments, the people with whom you will be working, work hours, culture, etc. He also suggests spending a few days at the prospective workplace to observe the working environment, if possible.

[Texas Proud]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spanky An article form Marty Nemko, a career consultant, suggests that we perform some investigation before starting a job, such as immediate assignments, the people with whom you will be working, work hours, culture, etc. He also suggests spending a few days at the prospective workplace to observe the working environment, if possible.

I agree if you can.... but most of the time you can not....

I remember when I graduated from college and interviewed with Arthur Anderson.... they had all thier partners shower you with attention, taking you to lunch, to dinner etc.. the hard sell. You got to talk to a few managers, but no staff people. Well, when they were taking me around, they pointed to some guy that was doing some programming that sounded interesting... so at the end of the interview, I asked if I could talk to him about what he was doing... they did not know how to respond... but eventually said yes... well, the guy was terrified when the partner came up with me and said for him to talk to me... he kept looking back to see what the partner was doing in his office.. made a big impression on me that it was not a place I wanted to work..

But, then again, I went to Ernst & Whinney and was working 100 hour weeks during the tax season... so I guess it was not much better there..

[Milton]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spanky An article form Marty Nemko, a career consultant, suggests ... spending a few days at the prospective workplace to observe the working environment, if possible.

Does Marty know of anyone who has done this? Excellent advice in theory, but hardly practical in the real world.

[Meadbh]

I did this once early in my career. We had a verbal agreement but I had not yet signed a contract, when an offer came up in a better location. They were angry at the inconvenience, but they had over 6 months notice before I was due to begin. As this was a time when the employment market was biased in the employer's favour, they had many applicants for the position. I think the main reason for the anger was that the person hiring me had made a good case for hiring me and felt stupid. Other than feeling terrible at the time, there were no long term consequences. The deicision to take the second offer was much better for me.

I agree with everyone who pointed out that organizations will do what suits their business interests. As individuals, we are all responsible for doing the same. That includes taking calculated risks on occasion. There is a certain ethical responsibility to live up to one's word, but there are limits.