Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Advice for Depressed Retiree?
Old 02-08-2009, 03:47 PM   #1
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 50
Advice for Depressed Retiree?

I was out for "happy hour" with my colleagues a couple of nights ago. One of our former colleagues dropped by to join the festivities. He looked terrible. Put on maybe 100 pounds since he retired 2 years ago. Took some kidding from a colleague and I thought he would cry. I'm looking to retire early in 10 years if the stock market rebounds, but he's in his early 60s, money doesn't seem to be an issue, but he's totally depressed and lost in this stage of his life. Any advice? Are there any books that would be helpful to him? It's pretty sad to see him in this condition.
__________________

__________________
No time for day dreamin.'
SingleMomDreamer is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 02-08-2009, 04:02 PM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,386
Quote:
Originally Posted by SingleMomDreamer View Post
I was out for "happy hour" with my colleagues a couple of nights ago. One of our former colleagues dropped by to join the festivities. He looked terrible. Put on maybe 100 pounds since he retired 2 years ago. Took some kidding from a colleague and I thought he would cry. I'm looking to retire early in 10 years if the stock market rebounds, but he's in his early 60s, money doesn't seem to be an issue, but he's totally depressed and lost in this stage of his life. Any advice? Are there any books that would be helpful to him? It's pretty sad to see him in this condition.

This sounds a little heavy for third hand, sight unseen advice from an anonymous internet board.

Sometimes it really is best to spend a few bucks and get some real help.

Ha
__________________

__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2009, 04:08 PM   #3
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
JPatrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,494
Time for a trip to the doc. Could be many things, a good friend of mine solved his by correcting a vitamin deficiency.
Point is, depression is not something a squad of cheerleaders can generally fix, although, I've left instructions to try anyway should I become depressed
__________________
JPatrick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2009, 04:12 PM   #4
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
BunsGettingFirm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,502
I'm sorry to hear that. Prior to signing up with this board, the only retired people I knew were my grandma and a guy I briefly met in the cycling club. The guy in the cycling complained about being bored out of his mind despite finally having all the time in the world to ride his bike, read books, and hang out at downtown cafes, all the things that he enjoyed before retirement. It turned out he liked all of these activities but just not for 8 hours a day, and now that his hobbies had been turned into his job, he had no hobbies for the other 8 hours he was awake.
__________________
BunsGettingFirm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2009, 04:12 PM   #5
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 10,036
If I even gained 10 pounds I 'd be soooo depressed but seriously this guy needs help . Maybe other things are going on in his life besides retirement .
__________________
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2009, 04:29 PM   #6
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 577
I have a close relative whose issues with depression and mania (seasonal affective disorder) were not obvious to those of us around him until after he retired and lost the structure and satisfaction of going to the office. Suddenly it was all right there to see.

He found great help in simply visiting his internist and treating it appropriately.

Apparently this is not unusual. Major life transitions can be difficult.
__________________
kat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 07:34 AM   #7
Full time employment: Posting here.
jambo101's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Montreal
Posts: 940
Is he depressed or just bored and how do you tell the difference?Obviously putting on 100lbs means he isnt doing anything but watching tv.
__________________
"Second star to the right and straight on till morning"
jambo101 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 09:08 AM   #8
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Dawg52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Central MS/Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 7,440
If I didn't have golf, I would be bored and/or depressed. It's very important to have a passion for something. He probably does need some professional advice, but I would guess if he could find some enjoyable hobby, volunteer or part time work......that might go along way into making him a happier person.
__________________
Retired 3/31/2007@52
Full time wuss.......
Dawg52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 09:09 AM   #9
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 331
He has to go to a shrink first, and a med doc. Perhaps he was depressed all of his life, and you just didn't know it. Many factors come into play.

Gaining 100 pounds indicates something in the mind usually once other unlikely stuff is ruled out. Many factors unseen to your eye can be at work here. The mind is extremely powerful.

I know first hand, I've been treated for severe depression most of my life, was depressed for 20 years without even knowing what was wrong with me. The mind is very powerful, that is one thing I can say first hand, it can trigger all sorts of symptoms and beliefs.

jug
__________________
jug is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 10:22 AM   #10
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
maddythebeagle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,450
Quote:
Originally Posted by jambo101 View Post
Is he depressed or just bored and how do you tell the difference?Obviously putting on 100lbs means he isnt doing anything but watching tv.
I dont think you put on 100 pounds just watching TV...Sounds like some serious emotional overeating......I am sure something else is bothering him and probably could use some counseling...
__________________
- Hurry! to the cliffs of insanity!
maddythebeagle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 10:43 AM   #11
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Amethyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,899
One thing he needs for sure, is at least one friend who won't force him to take "kidding." Why people think it's fun to pick on others who are obviously suffering, is beyond me.

Amethyst
__________________
Amethyst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 12:13 PM   #12
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
freebird5825's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 9,017
A kind word from you expressing your concern and the business card of a counselor might help immensely. Sometimes all it takes is knowing that someone cares.
The weight gain could be from anything from steroids (for medical reasons) to binge and/or chronic overeating to fill the hours.
__________________
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
freebird5825 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 12:44 PM   #13
Moderator Emeritus
CuppaJoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: At The Cafe
Posts: 6,866
Most people who knew me from work don’t know my medical conditions and the fact that I developed a mobility problem when I retired at age 61. I doubt that I would mention that at happy hour. I get out and walk as much as I can but it may be a challenge not to put on weight over the next two years. Have to agree with Ha Ha that an internet board will know even less.

OP, how do you know he’s “totally depressed”? How well do you know him if it’s been two years since you’ve seen him. “Dropping by” indicates he wasn’t invited? Awkward? Honestly, if you saw me at happy hour, you might think something like that, I’ve never enjoyed those kinds of events, not my thing. At six months into retirement I’m not depressed at all but who would know that from a brief encounter.

What kind of relationship will you have to deliver books to him?
__________________
CuppaJoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 02:02 PM   #14
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,619
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
One thing he needs for sure, is at least one friend who won't force him to take "kidding." Why people think it's fun to pick on others who are obviously suffering, is beyond me.
It's the way we guys say "I love you, man...", especially if it's followed by a punch on the shoulder or a noogie.

Because otherwise that would seem so trite & juvenile.
__________________

__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
So Depressed about Colorado BarbaraAnne Life after FIRE 35 08-18-2008 01:34 PM
Newly retiree in need of advice in choosing bonds BA FIRE and Money 3 01-16-2008 03:24 AM
Depressed rw86347 Young Dreamers 27 06-29-2006 10:33 PM
Hi, I am Depressed Sam Hi, I am... 22 03-09-2006 05:46 PM
Young retiree seeks your investment advice JohnBlake FIRE and Money 8 05-01-2004 04:18 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:31 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.