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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-11-2006, 04:58 PM   #21
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Hard knocks feel really bad when they occur.* Now I see them as valuable lessons, but it sure didn't feel that way then.* After being jailed for pot at age 20, I left my hometown knowing I didn't want a life there.* After tech school, having no security clearance kept me from getting an entry level job with government electronics manufacturers, so my after school job went from part-time to full-time at the transportation company that had a pension and eventually a 401k.* Got laid off once about a year after buying my first house.* That drove me to LBMM for the next 30 years.* Lost 2X annual pay in Az real estate LP's in 1983 so no more hedge funds or similar investments.* 401k shrank by a third in 2000-2003, so I needed to save more.* Retired at 55 with a pension that is more than our pre-retirement expenses.* Now I can see how every bad experience or relationship in my life has helped me become smarter and stronger.
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-11-2006, 05:35 PM   #22
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by wildcat
Ok, I am sure this is the wrong place to post this, with you all being the best of the best achievers, but I really don't have much in common with other people I talk to on regular basis. Before I begin I will certainly agree that there is always worse and not everything is bad but.....

Did any of you get out of school and go through your 20s kind of disappointed with how things turned out or are turning out? If so, was it because your expectations were too high or was it just a long string of bad luck? Was there a point in your life when you became comfortable with your direction?

I can't help but be bummed out and disappointed with a few things, especially when it comes to job opportunities. In other words, I think I am starting to see that certain doors to certain jobs are closed when I feel it should be open. Oh well....just wondering if there was anyone else out there with similar experiences and don't worry guys - I am not on the edge of 20 story building while I type this.
I was definitely disappointed how things were turning out in my 20's. After failing out of one school, and finally finishing my BA [in only 10 years], I [for some reason] decided I wanted to be an actuary. What an idiot. I think I just wasn't happy because I had no idea what I wanted to do. After having a child, I realized that the job I hated [actuary] was boiling over into my private life. Luckily, I got laid off, and fell into my current regulatory job [which I love].

The toughest question to answer by far was, "So, what do I want to do?"

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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-11-2006, 06:16 PM   #23
 
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

I never really got my act together financially until I was 30 years old. Deep in debt, I crafted a plan to retire before 65. A divorce at age 35 threw another wrench into the fire, but I recovered and made ER at age 50. Thankfully a major health crisis or accident did not de-rail me further.

There is a lot of luck in life. The folks that say ' The harder they worked, the luckier they got' are luckier than they ever imagined, even without them working hard. They are Lucky to be born in the U.S., get a public education, remain healthy enough to work - The rest is mostly just 'showing up'
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-11-2006, 06:31 PM   #24
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Yep

Depression era parents(learned to love 'cheap bastardhood'), born in the USA, the Space Program - it doesn't get much better than that.

heh heh heh heh - there used to be a baseball cap logo when I first transferred down South - "American by birth, Southern by the Grace of God." Being a Dam Yankee - I pointed out - you got it backwards - it's American by the Grace of God.

De Gaul was right - even though he may not have been happy about it. Nor admit he stole the thought from a German - if Nord's research is right.
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-11-2006, 07:50 PM   #25
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

I think it was very sneaky of Wildcat to get us to spill our beans. Now my finely crafted image as an almost-independently-wealthy 35-year-old doing an MBA program on a full scholarship while being surrounded by beautiful undergrads is broken. Damn.

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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-11-2006, 08:48 PM   #26
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Yeah, I'm sure everyone thought I wafted ashore on a scallop shell with my retirement accounts in place, too
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-12-2006, 07:10 AM   #27
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Wildcat:

A lot of it is how you look at it. I always thought I had things easy but things were still a mess in my twenties. Out of school I substitute taught for a semester, bummed around the country, got married, had a kid, started looking for a "straight" job. Ended up subbing again and working as a janitor until I got a Federal job. Got divorced, child care payments, plane fare to fly my son out for summers and several times a year left me essentially broke. When I moved to DC at 32 I had a Chevette with a tray instead of a glove box and bought a sofa bed for my apartment with a Household Finance loan Not exactly a fast track to success. But after a few years I shot up through the ranks to SES and fifteen years after that I happily ERd.

Oh, I forgot - there were some serious bumps midway through that last fifteen years that led me to completely change my career path. But almost everyone has a few of those.
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-12-2006, 10:46 AM   #28
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

I don't think my life has ever been too harsh, at least by my standards. But I keep thinking that I am very much behind on my life, if that makes sense.

I know that I have wasted awhole lotta time, doing G-d knows what, in the last 10 yrs and it's a very unsettling feeling.

I keep reading this board in sheer amazement - seem like people really have their sh$t together.

So, to answer OP - yes, I know exactly what you are talking about.

Lena

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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-12-2006, 01:29 PM   #29
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by astromeria
Yeah, I'm sure everyone thought I wafted ashore on a scallop shell with my retirement accounts in place, too*
Nice mental image triggered of Boticelli's Venus, naked but with a big portfolio of ledgers and account statements.

Let's see--rough patches early in life:
My dad suffered a heart attack when I was 8 but he recovered although he made very little change in his lifestyle afterwards.* When I was 14, he suffered a stroke (and more later on) and he was housebound afterwards until his death 13 years later.* So the focus of the family was on taking care of him, and my mom also had to make a go of the small business they had.*

Before this, they always wanted me to be a doctor.* (It is almost every Filipino parent's dream to have their child become a doctor. )* By the time I was headed to college at 16, med school was out of the question--too long, not enough money.* I had no clue or idea what I wanted to do so was not truly disappointed and declared a Business major because it was practical per my mom and my uncle.

I enjoyed the first two years of general education classes but found business classes uninteresting.* I nearly flunked one Finance class.* I was miserable the last two years but stuck it out.

Coming to America was a mix of pleasure and pain--lots of new things (snow, fall leaves, cold milk on cereal, different colors of hair/eyes/complexion, just like being in American movies we used to watch back home) along with the alienation and feeling of being different.* Sounds corny but first heartache (BF broke up with me AND then I got fired from my job because of performance problems--I was unconsolable beyond belief) broke that and I learned to reach out; I realized that I did have things in common with other people here, even if I weren't American.*

My ordeal with immigration is not typical for the "average" American so I won't bore you with it.* Suffice it to say that a few doors were closed to me because I did not have my green card.

Jobwise, I used to switch around a lot because work paled in comparison to the fun of school.* It was challenging and exciting to get the correct answers in school, work on papers and projects that were interesting, but my first job in finance was boring to me.* I am glad to have made the switch to computer programming, but even then, the couple of jobs with bigger companies were too limiting.

I find that it helps to have a job that allows for some creativity and self-direction.* It also helps to have a boss who's kind of enlightened--listens, helps, and actually understands the work, too--and to have coworkers that I get along with.* Of course, being highly paid would be great, but most times, such jobs include more stresses that I don't want to deal with.* After all, I have to save energy for life outside of work.

When I was younger, I used to look at org charts and naively think that a few years or so at each level and I would be ready to reach the top.* But life is full of surprises, twists and turns--external and internal (like you realize you didn't care for the nature of the job or what you would have to do to get to where you think you want to go.)* I think there are very few people who are able to follow the strict level progressions that are laid out in org charts--maybe folks in the military or some other hierarchical organizations.* *Our path through jobs is not like a train or bus schedule, so don't expect to be at a certain level by a certain time or compare yourself to peers because we're all on different journeys.

I read this saying once that was reputedly Eastern: "Make a living with your left foot."* Uneloquently, I interpret that to mean that there is life outside of making a living with the rest of your body, i.e., lighten up and don't take work too seriously.* I know it sounds flip and easy for me to say because I am beyond starting out like you, and it IS easy to say*

Hang in there, keep trying, don't lose hope, and try to enjoy other areas other than working or looking for work.* Like other posters have said, a few years from now, you will be beyond your current problems, and facing another set of problems (but hopefully not too hairy ones.)* Congrats on finishing grad school!
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-12-2006, 02:48 PM   #30
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Wildcat,

When you are in your mid 20's the world does not move fast enough - but hang in there I promise it will speed up every year. The main thing is to keep your physical health and feed your brain with as much knowledge and positive attitude you can. Exclude as much negativity as possible.

When I was twenty I was married with a baby living on the family farm. At 23 the farm went under (due to mismanagement) and divorce the same year. I had no home, no car, and no job -with responsiblities. This was my low point - I swore never to be in this position again.

My uncle let me live with him for six months. He bought a $2000 car and let me make $50 a month payments. I worked selling real estate, spraying bugs for a pest control business, delivering newspapers, and gettin FHA foreclosed houses ready for resale. The small town I was in was a SAC base (B-52s) and the base closed ie the real estate market died!
Now, at this point I could pay my bills at an apartment with the newspaper, bug spraying, and foreclosure stuff. I decided to get my degree at night and let the bug spraying go. Did it, but I swore never to have a job again that was 365 days a year.

These times were tough for me but taught me how to save and not give up my life energy working all the time. When you look back at these times and realize what you can do when you have to, it kinda takes the edge off any future worries - a sense of peace maybe?

Good luck!

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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-12-2006, 03:50 PM   #31
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Quote:
When I was twenty I was married with a baby living on the family farm. At 23 the farm went under (due to mismanagement) and divorce the same year. I had no home, no car, and no job -with responsiblities. This was my low point - I swore never to be in this position again.
I think I see a pattern here about your 20s: learning to do for yourself, learning on the fly, and building success from it....turning into a good thread...
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-12-2006, 04:21 PM   #32
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

I'm saving all the juicy details for my book someday...but at 23 I was seperated from my wife and 2 kids, was totally selfish and thought I was so smart and knew it all. Had little or no values or ethics. At one point, I was 2 months behind on rent, car engine blew, quit my job with no savings, $15K in debt. My wife moved three states away and took all the furniture and household goods. I sat in an empty apartment and wondered how I got to this point?

I worked on re-aliging my priorities, focusing on values and asking for advice and help from those with wisdom. Worked 16 hour days with no days off for 4 months in a commissioned sales job to get back on my feet. Then, a year later, I quit my $75K/yr job to move across country and reunite with my wife and kids. We lived on welfare for 8 months while she finished college and I looked for a job in the area.

We now laugh about it and I look at it as a growing point in my life. Most successful people I know have had many failures, they just got up and kept fighting and learned from their mistakes. I learned what really mattered to me in life and that even if I was broke, I had my family. I can always make money back but getting a family back is another thing.

Lance
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-13-2006, 07:33 AM   #33
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

There are some excellent lessons to be learned from the many posts on this thread.
jc
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-13-2006, 12:37 PM   #34
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Good to hear from you Wildcat---

Rough patches eh?* Well we children of the late 60's had the draft to work into our plans.* I had/have a fair amount of respect for the draft so I'll consider it a detour as opposed to a rough patch.
Since the 8th grade I had wanted to be a commercial pilot.
I had gotten my private pilot's license and was attending college when out of the blue came a program from American Airlines for entry into their training program.* All that was required was a private license and 2 years college.* As I recall, I would have needed to lie about my age, but you do what you have to do * So I quickly called to offer my services---First question--are you draft eligible?
That was that--opportunity gone..* Shortly after that I* had another dumb luck opportunity to purchase 49% of a beautiful nightclub biz for simply the cost of inventory and* some fixtures.* Rent free lease as the owner was to claim 100% of all coin operated revenue. We opened as a alcohol free club/disco aimed at teens.* It was a huge success for the first three months, but we found we had to invest a pretty good chunk of $$ to get to the next level. (in business you either grow or die)* Once again the draft---I couldn't bring myself to commit to the loan so I backed out and sold out for very little.
Well if it is to be you find a way.* I got into the cockpit, but as those things sometimes go, I burned out after 12 years.* Hello career change.

Someone else mentioned networking and that is a good strategy.
My best contacts were former bosses and the rest were kind of chance meetings.* One example--About 8 years ago I was reading a mini bio of a small, but wildly successful hedge fund manager.* From that bio it was obvious we had something in common that was fairly rare.* ( can't say what cause it will likely blow my cover)
So I emailed the guy thinking nothing would come of it.* Well I got an immediate email and phonecall.* Had I been looking for a financial j*b this would have been the ticket, but I was and still am happy to settle for the investment advice and friendship.
You just never know what shell the opportunity is under.
I know you are going to be alright Wildcat
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-13-2006, 12:51 PM   #35
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JPatrick
... ( can't say what cause it will likely blow my cover)
We've already figured out you're Elvis, so you can give up the cover story and come out of the toilet.

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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-13-2006, 01:09 PM   #36
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo!
We've already figured out you're Elvis, so you can give up the cover story and come out of the toilet.

Nope, a few of us still are enjoying our cover
And a few have been outed
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-13-2006, 04:46 PM   #37
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Arc said: A positive attitude will be your greatest asset.* Read "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale.* It will make a huge difference in your life - if you let it.

So true.

I read Peale's book a couple of years ago out of curiosity when I was in between jobs and desperate. I had no degree, not much experience, and no skills other than typing. I read the book the night before an interview with a temp agency. I did one of Peale's exercises that night and the morning before I went in. I scored something like 105 wpm on the typing test, with 2 errors. Never did that before!

Of* course, I hate to type, and you couldn't pay me to take a job like that again...But that sh*t works!

And, as everyone else has said, it DOES get better...and worse...and better...
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-13-2006, 05:56 PM   #38
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Hats off to you guys. Many of you looked at the beast and stared him down.

No wonder you are succeeding!

Ha
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-13-2006, 06:00 PM   #39
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JPatrick
we children of the late 60's had the draft to work into our plans.* I had/have a fair amount of respect for the draft so I'll consider it a detour as opposed to a rough patch.
Agreed...*
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?
Old 09-13-2006, 06:03 PM   #40
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Re: Anybody else here go through some rough patches early in life?

Quote:
Did any of you get out of school and go through your 20s kind of disappointed with how things turned out or are turning out?
20s ... we all had an excuse (young n' stupid). *How about 35 and 250K in the hole. *Now that's TROUBLE. (Add to that married with a kid on the way).

That's what a relentless recession and a POP to the housing bubble did to me in the early-mid ninties. *Just crawled out - teeth n'nail - and made damn sure to NEVER forget how I got there. *Learned my real estate lessons - pretty well - and FIRED 8 years later (after buying a whole bunch at the bottom). *

Live n'learn!
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