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boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 05:37 PM   #1
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boss dilema

My boss is a real asshole. He is 100% in control of everything I do and think. If I come up with something smart, it will be shut down instantly because it is not his idea. Anything that I do is assigned by him. I am not allowed to help out my colleagues unless he has approved of it. Any conclusion or result I come up with has to be approved by him otherwise it will be ridiculed. Now, the good thing about my boss is that he is dumb as a rock. At the beginning of the week, he assigns me some fluff stuff and I am usually done the next day. For the rest of the week I can surf on the internet or stare at the wall and go home on time.

However, I am so sick of this idiot constantly putting me down and doing the exact same monkey stuff (including data entry - I am an engineer). Without his approval I have started working with a lot of other people. The only huge drawback is that this is done partially after I have done my 40 hours/week. But I am getting enthusiastic again about what I am doing. The core of my job is actually very interesting but the way my boss shapes my week turns it into complete drudgery.

Problem is that my boss found out and was screaming at me over the phone that I only work for him and tatadatada. After he started pushing with do you understand? say ok, do you understand? say ok, do you understand? say ok. etc. on the phone, I had enough and hung up on him.

I am about to puke all over the asshole. I am always trying to just treat this as a j-o-b and then go home. However, if you have to go through the constant humiliation and boredom, it does get to you.

So what to do? I am afraid to rock the boat but I would love to talk to the director get me transfered. But what if does not work out - I will get retaliated against as usual and pretty bad this time. The other alternative is to keep on swallowing it, apologize for my behavior and feel miserable but virtually don't have to work. I expect to keep on staying with this company for another 3-4 years.

Any suggestions?

Vicky
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 05:51 PM   #2
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Re: boss dilema

"Virtually don't have to work" can be worse than working. I would just quit, and did several times.
I understand not everyone views that as a good option though.

JG
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 05:55 PM   #3
 
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Re: boss dilema

I am sure we all have had asshole bosses on this forum during our working careers. And this was a primary motivator for me to get out as soon as I could.

I actually thanked my boss, once during an uncomfortable exchange, for making my upcoming retirmement even sweeter by being such a jerk!
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 06:12 PM   #4
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Re: boss dilema

Thinking back over my working life, I recall some bosses
I didn't care for, but none that made my life miserable.
Of course, under those conditions I would have quit,
no matter what my age or other circumstances.
At the end I was the boss and so I basically retired
myself, having seen the wisdom of
Pogo's observation

JG
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 06:22 PM   #5
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Re: boss dilema

Hmm... well I am young and inexperienced compared to the folks on this board, but i will offer my 2 cents.

I think treating this as professionally as possible would be good. I may be naive, but it seems as though since you are an engineer, you would have other job options if you chose to do so.

I would not go over your boss and to the director, for the reasons you mentioned. Have you ever addressed this issue with your boss directly? Every single issue you have with the boss, I'd sit down and just tell him straight out, and that its making your work environment uncomfortable.
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 06:30 PM   #6
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Re: boss dilema

yes, I already talked to him directly several times. One time he blew up in my face. The other time he was overwhelmed and almost started crying. After a few days he was fully recovered and retaliated with degrading comments. His idea is that he is the boss, and you are there to do things for him like you are a toolbox or so.

I have even taken the asshole to HR. He called me lazy after I just came to work from the emergency room pumped full of drugs. My arms were infected with large open oozing wounds that could not covered. I could not do certain activities, which he interpreted otherwise.
Vicky
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 06:49 PM   #7
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Re: boss dilema

Quote:
yes, I already talked to him directly several times. One time he blew up in my face. The other time he was overwhelmed and almost started crying. After a few days he was fully recovered and retaliated with degrading comments. His idea is that he is the boss, and you are there to do things for him like you are a toolbox or so.

I have even taken the asshole to HR. He called me lazy after I just came to work from the emergency room pumped full of drugs. My arms were infected with large open oozing wounds that could not covered. I could not do certain activities, which he interpreted otherwise.
Vicky
This is certainly not a funny situation, and I totally emphatize, but this guy sounds almost comical. He sounds totally bad, I don't think you should engage in mutiny or office politics too much, but there must be other people that feel that way about him as well, right?
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 07:06 PM   #8
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Re: boss dilema

Quote:

This is certainly not a funny situation, and I totally emphatize, but this guy sounds almost comical. He sounds totally bad, I don't think you should engage in mutiny or office politics too much, but there must be other people that feel that way about him as well, right?
Yes, everybody in the group feels that way. We just finished a company-wide survey about our bosses. I would like to see that they do something with the results because they will be miserable for my boss. I think he knows because he is trying to flex his muscles for whatever they are worth. Very weak personality. He bullies his employees aournd like crazy because he has power over us - his peers ignore him. My husband was curious about him so he went with me to his house for a christmas party (sigh... another thing I would not miss...). He was stunned about his immaturity and lack of character. It became very obvious when we started to play fussball. He started trowing tantrums and when he was losing. Just imagine how he acts in the office when you have a different point of view.

Ok, sounds like I have to swallow it.... I will probably be called into his office tomorrow for one of his spanking sessions (can you close the door now?). Will have to sit there and agree with whatever asshole says.

Vicky
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 07:24 PM   #9
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Re: boss dilema

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I have even taken the asshole to HR.
What happened? Did HR do anything? Are you documenting these tantrums?
If HR won't do anything, Please get the he** away from this nut case. You don't deserve this kind of abuse. File for unemployment (or contact a lawyer) and cite an abusive environment...
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 07:27 PM   #10
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Re: boss dilema

I'd walk into his office, drop trou, turn around, bend over and ask if I can help him part the cheeks prior to his kiss, or if he can do that himself.
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 07:32 PM   #11
 
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Re: boss dilema

I advise you to gracefully, tactfully seek a transfer within the same company or a new job entirely. Start your job search now.

Here's an article about inept managers and why they linger:

http://www.azcentral.com/business/ar...icle20-ON.html

Quote:
" ...There's only one thing more mystifying than why a person completely undeserving of a managerial position gets one: how they manage to keep it for so long. ...

...What about the one person in close proximity to whom the manager's incompetence isn't tortuously obvious: the fool who promoted him. ...

...Perhaps the biggest reason why incompetent managers have such an interminable shelf life is that the people who promoted them don't want to admit they made an error."
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 07:37 PM   #12
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Re: boss dilema

If my wife had a boss like that you can bet I'd pay him a visit.

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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 08:16 PM   #13
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Re: boss dilema

Quote:
My boss is a real asshole. He is 100% in control of everything I do and think.
Any suggestions?
Don't blame your boss, blame yourself for staying in your current situation. It's like buying a house near the airport and complaining about the noise.

Go find yourself another job, or even better, start your own business so you won't have a boss. That's what I did. I could never work for someone giving me orders. The word "boss" to me is a dirty 4 letter word. How anyone could go through life having a master commander is beyond me.
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 08:31 PM   #14
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Re: boss dilema

Quote:
*
* *What happened? Did HR do anything? * Are you documenting these tantrums?
* * *If HR won't do anything, Please get the he** away from this nut case. You don't deserve this kind of abuse. File for unemployment (or contact a lawyer) and cite an abusive environment...
Dont quit. I would definetly pressure HR.

No firm wants a lawsuit and the way business is done today you may have one.

What is the worst that can happen.

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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 08:43 PM   #15
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Re: boss dilema

Start an agressive job search, focusing outside the company. At the same time you may look for internal opportunity but my guess is that any company that would keep bosses like yours are not worth working for.
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 09:21 PM   #16
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Re: boss dilema

Sometimes a really incompetent boss is the result of management misjudgement and once that misjudgement is discovered, the boss is replaced. . . but this is rare.

Usually you need to remember a couple of things:

1) Your boss was selected and promoted to that position by his superiors in the company. They believe in him/her. They would have to admit that they were wrong to go against him/her. They are not likely to side with you. They may pretend to listen and feel sympathy, but chances are they are really figuring out how to get rid of you.

2) HR is hired by and works for management -- not for you. Their real job is to make management happy. They are not likely to side with you. They may pretend to listen and feel sympathy, but chances are they are really figuring out how to get rid of you.

Based on the above, th's advice sounds reasonable.



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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 10:17 PM   #17
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Re: boss dilema

You are in a very dangerous place, vic. I worked in a very sick environment once that sounded similar, and everyone agreed with me that the boss was an asshole. Morale stunk, the whole nine yards. I fought the system, reported to HR. The HR lady actually started to argue with me about it! Point is, I recently looked up the company's website, those who were the most miserable? Still there, 6 years later! It's like a co-dependency thing. Be tactful, ask for a transfer, search for a new job, quit without one if you have to ( I did, six weeks unemployed), just DON'T STAY where you are! And your last day, look him straight in the eye and say, "I'm really worried about you, you need help, I'm praying for you." . Walk out. He'll be chewing on the carpet within a week.
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-28-2005, 10:39 PM   #18
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Re: boss dilema

You know, maybe this is veering off course, but my pops told me a funny story once. He was in a large company for almost 2 decades of his life, so he knows office politics. He said in every level of the company, even management, there were always lazy incompetent people. So I had to ask, why don't they just fire them? And my dad said no, the company actually NEEDS people like that. Then he went on to tell me about some scientific study they once did on ants. (My dad can be odd sometimes, haha). Supposedly, there were always some lazy ants in a colony, that would fall out of the crowd and just waddle around and be lazy. So scientists tried to pick out and kill these ants, hoping to build a super colony of pure hard workers.
This did not work, because invariably more lazy ants emerged, and the total productivity of the ant colony did not improve.

My dad said he went outside with a magnifying glass, and for several days studied an ant colony (he is odd, like I said). He said he identified some stragglers, and would burn them with the magnifying glass. He would return the next day, and in the same spot, there would be more stragglers. (at this point I cracked up, cause the mental image of my pops killing ants with a magnifying glass was just hilarious, considering he's pushing 50)

Then he turned back to the subject and said the company needs to keep around lazy and incompetent people, because that always motivates the people around that lazy person to work harder to pick up the slack.

Vicky ,reading your post, I had that feeling about your boss. He was incompetent, so you took it upon yourself to take on new projects and do more work, instead of just hiding under your lazy boss and just being lazy yourself.

Maybe dad does know what he's talking about. Then again this is a man who kills ants in his spare time, so maybe not.
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-29-2005, 03:26 AM   #19
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Re: boss dilema

Vicky
You've got a problem that has to be dealt with. Since you can't deal with the boss directly, and since your post doesn't speak to sex/race/religion etc action, but rather poor management, I wouldn't think a suit is valid
(note Disclaimer).

I'm my own boss and have been even when I worked with a larger firm (head of the specific area of litigation).
My take on these situations is to go directly at the problem.

DW, who is now retired, and many other people we know who work in large companies handle it differently. They learn to push very subtly in their job position. If that doesn't work, they don't go above, but rather work in the company to move to another position with another boss that they are able to work with. At the same time, they job search outside of the company and are ready to leave to a new position when/if it doesn't work inside the company. Their way has worked time after time.
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Re: boss dilema
Old 04-29-2005, 06:03 AM   #20
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Re: boss dilema

With my personality, I have been embroiled in more
than my share of disputes. Many ended up in court.
Litigation is always my court (no pun intnded) of last
resort. Sometimes you can't avoid it, but you should
always try other solutions first IMHO.

JG
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