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Old 10-23-2010, 02:00 AM   #61
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I second (third, fourth) the idea of babysitters. I grew up in a developing country and most families had nannies. When I moved to the U.S. I was shocked by the amount of stress parents face.
I wonder about the amount of stress the nannies face.
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Old 10-23-2010, 06:28 AM   #62
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I wonder about the amount of stress the nannies face.
You must be joking. Today's modern parents must go to work, pay the mortgage, take the kids to soccer practice or pre-school, try to climb the social ladder and improve themselves at work -just to name a few.

A nanny has her own room with meals and uniform provided. What stress? Taking care of the kids and maybe cooking and cleaning the house? Women do that on a daily basis in every corner of the globe. Women are born to be care-givers and nurturing.

When the kids are in school the nanny takes a NAP! What parent has that luxury?

And you worry about the stress on the nanny? You are joking, right?
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Old 10-23-2010, 07:32 AM   #63
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Old 10-23-2010, 10:30 AM   #64
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Women are born to be care-givers and nurturing.
For a small fee.
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Old 10-23-2010, 10:34 AM   #65
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I second (third, fourth) the idea of babysitters. I grew up in a developing country and most families had nannies. When I moved to the U.S. I was shocked by the amount of stress parents face. There seems to be an unwillingness to hire outside help for domestic issues (similar feelings towards house keepers). IMO, for busy professionals, the money needed to hire outside help is really worth it. Just think of how much money you make per hour, how much you would be paying a babysitter, and how much peace of mind it could provide.

*Disclaimer: Since I have no children, this is purely hypothetical.*
One of my sons and his wife are into their third year with a nanny. It's the only thing that makes their lifestyle possible.

Ha
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Old 10-23-2010, 10:54 AM   #66
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Is it cheating if I take a day off, don't tell her, disappear at the appointed time for work and just go find a place to hide for a day?
Just make sure DW doesn't call your office number.
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Old 10-23-2010, 11:20 AM   #67
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Here is what I would want my husband to do under your circumstances: wife, I would like to spend some relaxing time with you, we both need a break. Would you line up care for the kids & pets for a day, lets go for a walk, visit a spa and enjoy a massage, take a long nap, go out to eat. Give her a couple dates that might work around your work schedule.

You do know that your e-mail obligations may in fact be work time and that your employer is accumulating unbudgeted payroll obligations.

Jobs are tough to find right now but there is no harm in putting out the word that you are open to other posibilities.
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Old 10-23-2010, 11:37 AM   #68
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For a small fee.
No, women are born that way. Just like men are born to lift heavy objects. However a fee may be required to have both genders use their genetically inherited skills. (I go where angels fear to tread). You like the flowers I bring for you? more flowers.
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Old 10-23-2010, 11:59 AM   #69
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Originally Posted by GoodSense View Post
I second (third, fourth) the idea of babysitters. I grew up in a developing country and most families had nannies. When I moved to the U.S. I was shocked by the amount of stress parents face. There seems to be an unwillingness to hire outside help for domestic issues (similar feelings towards house keepers). IMO, for busy professionals, the money needed to hire outside help is really worth it. Just think of how much money you make per hour, how much you would be paying a babysitter, and how much peace of mind it could provide.

*Disclaimer: Since I have no children, this is purely hypothetical.*
I don't think it's unwillingness. It's simply not affordable. In developing nations the income disparity is such that higher-income family can afford to have servants. This is just not the case in the US.

Audrey
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Old 10-23-2010, 12:21 PM   #70
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You must be joking. Today's modern parents must go to work, pay the mortgage, take the kids to soccer practice or pre-school, try to climb the social ladder and improve themselves at work -just to name a few.

A nanny has her own room with meals and uniform provided. What stress? Taking care of the kids and maybe cooking and cleaning the house? Women do that on a daily basis in every corner of the globe. Women are born to be care-givers and nurturing.

When the kids are in school the nanny takes a NAP! What parent has that luxury?

And you worry about the stress on the nanny? You are joking, right?
Oh great, one of those.
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Old 10-23-2010, 01:03 PM   #71
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Oh great, one of those.
I know several men who are top notch caregivers and seem to have inherently nurturing personalities. So, I thought I'd give credit where credit's due.
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Old 10-23-2010, 01:06 PM   #72
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I don't think it's unwillingness. It's simply not affordable. In developing nations the income disparity is such that higher-income family can afford to have servants. This is just not the case in the US.

Audrey
This depends entirely on your definition of higher-income. I know plenty of families with help. Not many cooks or chauffeurs, but plenty have weekly housekeeping crews, nannies, yard men, etc.

Clearly way more could afford this in Indonesia or Viet Nam, but it is common in the US too.

Ha
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Old 10-23-2010, 01:31 PM   #73
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While we were both working, 2 kids at home, 2 cats (no dogs), we hired someone to cut the grass, and cleaners to come in every week. It certainly makes weekends a lot less stressful with those chores out of the way.
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Old 10-23-2010, 04:55 PM   #74
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I pay people to do house and yard work.
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Old 10-23-2010, 06:11 PM   #75
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Hello Brewer - research on exercise has shown that the psych benefits of exercise do help reduce depression and anxiety. Have you tried exercising 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week?

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Maybe it is a bad time at work along with shortening days, but I feel pretty worn out.
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Old 10-23-2010, 06:46 PM   #76
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This depends entirely on your definition of higher-income. I know plenty of families with help. Not many cooks or chauffeurs, but plenty have weekly housekeeping crews, nannies, yard men, etc.

Clearly way more could afford this in Indonesia or Viet Nam, but it is common in the US too.

Ha
Hiring weekly yard and housecleaning - that's pretty straightforward as you can just hire for a few hours a week, and there are businesses to contract such work with.

A full time nanny - not so common.

Audrey
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Old 10-23-2010, 07:08 PM   #77
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Hello Brewer - research on exercise has shown that the psych benefits of exercise do help reduce depression and anxiety. Have you tried exercising 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week?
I make it to the gym 3 or 4 times a week for an hour of strenuous cardio or reasonably intense strength training, I walk a mile every day as part of my commute, and I am pretty physically active on the weekends.
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Old 10-23-2010, 07:11 PM   #78
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We are straying away from the OP's distressed post, but all this talk about nannies makes me itchy to chime in.

There are some countries that allow nannies to be "imported" from poor third-world countries. That takes care of the affordability problem, compared to having to hire indigenous nannies. When I first heard that, I thought that was a wonderful economic exchange. The foreign nannies get paid a higher wage than what they can get in their native countries, and their employers get some relief from domestic chores.

Alas, there is always the other side of the coin. I then learned of abuse of nannies. As nannies are female (ever heard of a male nanny?), as you can guess it, the abuse is sexual in nature. A friend of mine who took a job assignment abroad in a country who shall be unnamed here told of rich people hiring nannies as a way to get a harem.
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Old 10-23-2010, 07:19 PM   #79
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.... rich people hiring nannies as a way to get a harem.
How about that Brewer? Would that ease your stress levels?
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Old 10-23-2010, 09:35 PM   #80
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How about that Brewer? Would that ease your stress levels?
Only until his wife found out!
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