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Old 10-27-2010, 11:40 AM   #121
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Appreciate the thought, Ha, but counseling is not an option I would ever pursue. Ditto drugs, etc. Not an option.

In any case, DW is a counselor by trade and training and I already have a hard time keeping the (infrequent) fights from turning into a counseling session. Cannot imagine what an actual counseling session with a third party would be like.
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Old 10-27-2010, 12:22 PM   #122
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I've endured my fair share of shizz storms...as a matter of fact I'm going through one of the worst ones now.

But one thing I have learned is to focus on the positive. Yeah..it sounds too easy and corny but it works for me.

You have a job that not only puts food on the table, but will allow you to ESR in a few years. You have a home, your bride and two healthy children. You have strangers on a forum doing their best to help you with heartfelt suggestions.

I'm not downplaying what you are going through right now...I'm just trying to remind you of what is right in your world.

My best to you Brew....
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Old 10-27-2010, 12:27 PM   #123
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Appreciate the thought, Ha, but counseling is not an option I would ever pursue. Ditto drugs, etc. Not an option.

In any case, DW is a counselor by trade and training and I already have a hard time keeping the (infrequent) fights from turning into a counseling session. Cannot imagine what an actual counseling session with a third party would be like.
Counseling or therapy SUCK. Stay away from that quackery. It ain't your wife's problem... it's yours.

A 15-min. visit to a Psychiatrist (a real doctor), by yourself, who listens but doesn't talk absolutely changed my life from the pits to pretty good in a very short time.

If you work in a brewery, then you know that modern science has improved the taste, the shelf life, and the ingredients that go into making great beer.

What do you think thousands of scientists working in laboratories all day in bio-medical companies? They make new medicine based on research and tests. If you don't need this medicine, then you can swallow 10 and at most it will make you sleepy.

BUT, if your brain is pumping out the wrong signals, this medicine can fix things just like an aspirin can stop a headache. You may benefit greatly by this medicine, but you can't be so pig headed as not to try.

Listen. I am the kind of guy who would rather piss in a bush next to the garage than go inside the house and use a toilet. I have no use for vitamins, health foods, or any of that kind of nonsense. I don't go to the dentist until I have a toothache. And I wouldn't go to a psychiatrist unless my life depended on it.

But finally, I realized my life depended on it!!! All I can tell you is two types of this medicine - given to me by a psychiatrist - changed my life from one like yours to something a heck of a lot better almost overnight.

But hey, it's your life. If you are not sick and tired of being sick and tired, then that is your choice.

All am saying is it doesn't hurt to try. If it doesn't work, then flush the bottle of meds down the toilet. You can try some of the "walk in the park" suggestions posted previously. But if your brain is broken, then you need the right tool to fix it.
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Old 10-27-2010, 12:59 PM   #124
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Counseling or therapy SUCK. Stay away from that quackery. It ain't your wife's problem... it's yours.

A 15-min. visit to a Psychiatrist (a real doctor), by yourself, who listens but doesn't talk absolutely changed my life from the pits to pretty good in a very short time.

If you work in a brewery, then you know that modern science has improved the taste, the shelf life, and the ingredients that go into making great beer.

What do you think thousands of scientists working in laboratories all day in bio-medical companies? They make new medicine based on research and tests. If you don't need this medicine, then you can swallow 10 and at most it will make you sleepy.

BUT, if your brain is pumping out the wrong signals, this medicine can fix things just like an aspirin can stop a headache. You may benefit greatly by this medicine, but you can't be so pig headed as not to try.

Listen. I am the kind of guy who would rather piss in a bush next to the garage than go inside the house and use a toilet. I have no use for vitamins, health foods, or any of that kind of nonsense. I don't go to the dentist until I have a toothache. And I wouldn't go to a psychiatrist unless my life depended on it.

But finally, I realized my life depended on it!!! All I can tell you is two types of this medicine - given to me by a psychiatrist - changed my life from one like yours to something a heck of a lot better almost overnight.

But hey, it's your life. If you are not sick and tired of being sick and tired, then that is your choice.

All am saying is it doesn't hurt to try. If it doesn't work, then flush the bottle of meds down the toilet. You can try some of the "walk in the park" suggestions posted previously. But if your brain is broken, then you need the right tool to fix it.
Nothing that Brewer has posted makes me think he is clinically depressed, just stressed out by life. Stressful job, no downtime at home and not enough hours in the day. They don't make a pill/"med" for that, despite what many may think...

DD
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Old 10-27-2010, 01:02 PM   #125
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It isn’t as easy as some want to believe.

I remember a night when I came home from work (a very high pressure job). We were all sitting at the dinner table (something that did not happen ‘till right before I stopped working) and all the talk was about who didn’t do what, stuff they wanted me to do, school issues, money. All problems, neverending, all looking at me for solutions. At one point I just looked around at everybody and yelled said – “If I wanted more $hit or more problems I would have just stayed at work”. I just unloaded on all of them. A real shocker for someone who always kept work and personal separate and never brought my work or work problems home. I left work less than 2 years later.

After a certain point in my career I was never able to fully reconcile work, home and self, but I did deal with it more effectively by focusing on my relationship with DW and the kids. For us it was just doing little things that let us relate and spend a bit of time together without having to think or talk about life’s stresses. Kind of rebuilding the friendship part.

Not recommending, just saying. But Brewer’s work environment looks stressful and uncompromising. A break right now may help - but I suspect over time it's gonna take someone else to help find a way to cope.

I have a good friend who deals with this at the firing range, and it seems to work for him.
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Old 10-27-2010, 01:36 PM   #126
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Nothing that Brewer has posted makes me think he is clinically depressed, just stressed out by life. Stressful job, no downtime at home and not enough hours in the day. They don't make a pill/"med" for that, despite what many may think...

DD

Well, they do, but a steel-jacketed anti-depressant is kind of a drastic solution.
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Old 10-27-2010, 02:25 PM   #127
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With a name like Brewer, I would've thought you'da figured that out already.
I appologize. I wouldn't have made this comment if I knew how serious this was for you. The best of luck to you. Physical activity and improving my health has always been the best medicine for me.
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Old 10-27-2010, 02:44 PM   #128
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Maybe I'm simplistic, but I would suggest bourbon

In all seriousness, I suggest the trip idea. I look forward to my fall hunting trip all year. It's amazing how just thinking about a future vacation makes the present seem better.
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Old 10-27-2010, 03:18 PM   #129
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My direct boss and his boss I get along with well. The organization which employs me has more layers of bureaucracy than any I have ever seen (and I once worked for a 10,000+ employee consulting firm). Every time I get another email from someone unfamiliar, my first response is a trip to the org chart to figure out who the hell they are.
Do they have an employee assistance program? One at arm's length? If so, why not use it?
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Old 10-27-2010, 03:22 PM   #130
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Do they have an employee assistance program? One at arm's length? If so, why not use it?

Hahahahahahahahaha!!! Who in their right mind would ever use an EAP? Might as well put a "fire me" sign on your back.
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Old 10-27-2010, 03:23 PM   #131
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Hahahahahahahahaha!!! Who in their right mind would ever use an EAP? Might as well put a "fire me" sign on your back.
Me, for one. And I haven't been fired once.
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Old 10-27-2010, 03:24 PM   #132
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I have tomorrow morning off, so I will be trying to talk to DW for the few brief moments the kids are in school. We will see where this gets me. Its not clear to me that she is really aware there is a problem or what teh fix might be, but I suppose it is a start.
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Old 10-27-2010, 03:25 PM   #133
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Me, for one. And I haven't been fired once.
I would never consider it. Hired by/paid for by an employer = at the beck and call of employer.

Just because you are paranoid does not mean they aren't out to get you...
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Old 10-27-2010, 03:28 PM   #134
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Share this thread with her - would be interesting to hear her comments on our posts...
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Old 10-27-2010, 03:31 PM   #135
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I have the same feeling about EAPs Brew. My last employer had an EAP but I wouldn't have trusted them at all. Perhaps this was because I had an evil boss who delighted in messing with people, particularly if she was able to find a weakness.
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Old 10-27-2010, 03:31 PM   #136
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Share this thread with her - would be interesting to hear her comments on our posts...
Never in a million years...
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Old 10-27-2010, 03:51 PM   #137
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Hello Brewer - research on exercise beer has shown that the psych benefits of exercise beer do help reduce depression and anxiety. Have you tried exercising beer 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week?
Fixed!

Seriously, good luck Brew. Sometimes you just have to slog through it. Hopefully, this to shall pass.
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Old 10-30-2010, 05:19 PM   #138
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Epilogue: I had a chance to chat with DW andthe absolute crush at work eased. We are looking for ways to make life a bit more reasonable. I am not sure it will get to what I would personally consider to be "good," but any improvement is welcome. We looked into a get away for a week in the short term and the prices were prohibitive. Instead, we have set up a weekend for ourselves and are paying the regular sitter to spend the weekend with the kids.
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Old 10-30-2010, 05:25 PM   #139
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That's great Brew. Hope you and DW have a wonderful weekend get away.
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Old 10-30-2010, 05:42 PM   #140
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That's great Brew. Hope you and DW have a wonderful weekend get away.
Kind of burns my @ss that we cannot get so much as an afternoon of help from family, but so be it. I will get to choose the nursing home...
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