Can I Go Live In A Cave Now?

[brewer12345]

Bleah. Had 10 kinds of crap kicked out of me all week at work, with virtual certainty that it continues uninterrupted next week and a healthy chance of a weekend beating. Stop the machine, I am going to puke.

Seems like I have not had a day to just recharge in a long time despite the fact that I actually geta lot of time off. When I am home there are kids, dogs, household maintenance projects and a million other things I have to deal with. Maybe it is a bad time at work along with shortening days, but I feel pretty worn out. Any suggestions on how to recharge? Unfortunately I have a few more years to go in my current rut.

 

[Midpack]

Going out on the water for 3-4 hours or more with DW, usually on a sailboat, always works for me.

A nature walk.

Go someplace you'd like to go that you've never been before, all the new/novelty will occupy your mind.

And even if you can't, this too shall pass...

 

[Moemg]

When I feel like that I just slow down and take time for me . Maybe you & your wife need to hire a babysitter & have an evening for just the two of you ?

 

[Dawg52]

Next question.

 

[audreyh1]

Hey, Dude! How long has it been since you brewed some good stuff?

Sorry things are spinning so fast for you right now. Sounds miserable!

Audrey

 

[W2R]

Any chance of using a week of vacation time soon? Maybe it would help to get away to someplace peaceful, serene, beautiful, and remote. You do have that new RV for camping, and the country is full of wilderness.

 

[Free To Canoe]

Nothing like a long walk in the fallen fall leaves. As you walk you can smell their beautiful aroma. You can kick piles of them in the air for stress releaf.
With each step you can feel the cares melt away.

Free to canoe

Idea 1 - don't sweat the small stuff
Idea 2 - it is all small stuff

 

[Purron]

I think you need to find some huntin' buddies. I know lots of guys who get into the same place you are and they rent a cabin in the woods to go hunting. Usually no actual hunting takes place, just drinking, card playing, and time away from spousal units, kids, pets and bosses.

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

If all else fails (look closely at the design) ....

 

[Amethyst]

Brewer, don't you have a man-cave or den where you can go and growl to yourself occasionally?

Everyone else just learns to stay away when they hear a low "grr-r-r-r" coming out of the den.

Amethyst

 

[brewer12345]

I think you need to find some huntin' buddies. I know lots of guys who get into the same place you are and they rent a cabin in the woods to go hunting. Usually no actual hunting takes place, just drinking, card playing, and time away from spousal units, kids, pets and bosses.

Sounds lovely. I can think of at least three non-hunting buddies that would be ideal for such a trip.

I told DW tonight that I really need some down time and got a frosty response. Is it cheating if I take a day off, don't tell her, disappear at the appointed time for work and just go find a place to hide for a day?

 

[haha]

Nothing like a long walk in the fallen fall leaves. As you walk you can smell their beautiful aroma. You can kick piles of them in the air for stress releaf.
With each step you can feel the cares melt away.

Free to canoe

Idea 1 - don't sweat the small stuff
Idea 2 - it is all small stuff

Mr. Canoe, you could be a therapist. I feel way more relaxed just reading your words and imagining how great it would feel. I hope it helped Brewer as much.

Ha

 

[Martha]

Sounds lovely. I can think of at least three non-hunting buddies that would be ideal for such a trip.

I told DW tonight that I really need some down time and got a frosty response. Is it cheating if I take a day off, don't tell her, disappear at the appointed time for work and just go find a place to hide for a day?

You get a day or two alone or with your buds and then she gets a day or two alone or with her buds. When each of you are home alone with the kids you get to have a babysitter help.

 

[haha]

Sounds lovely. I can think of at least three non-hunting buddies that would be ideal for such a trip.

I told DW tonight that I really need some down time and got a frosty response. Is it cheating if I take a day off, don't tell her, disappear at the appointed time for work and just go find a place to hide for a day?

Hell no. I had an uncle did did that at least once a week for years. Occasionally he had non-spousal feminine companionship. He was so relaxed he was hard to kill. When he was in his mid 80s he took a direct hit from lightning. He still hung on in critical care for 6 weeeks after that.

Anyway, it is impossible to cheat if your goal is to maintain your mental health and keep the family income coming in. People used to realize that, and they may again if this recession drags on.

Ha

 

[brewer12345]

You get a day or two alone or with your buds and then she gets a day or two alone or with her buds. When each of you are home alone with the kids you get to have a babysitter help.

<sound of bitter laughter>

Sounds like a very unrealistic fantasy.

 

[Moemg]

Is it cheating if I take a day off, don't tell her, disappear at the appointed time for work and just go find a place to hide for a day?

No, It's considered taking care of your mental health ! Go for it !

 

[brewer12345]

No, It's considered taking care of your mental health ! Go for it !

I have to say that it makes me deeply sad to think that this sort of thing is necessary. Will require some rumination with the aid of bourbon.

 

[CCdaCE]

Yep. Take time to do a hobby, or just time away from "the norm". Basically, the only thing that allows me to slog through the day-to-day monotony is a new book on a interesting subject (non-fiction/history, etc.), exercise, hunting/fishing or massive alcohol intake.

The other problem is the occasional spousal double standard. Selfish when you take time for yourself, but perfectly fine for her to do after she's reached the breaking point. I think we're in the same boat here.

-CC

 

[haha]

Men, take back the night. Your children depend on you.

 

[Dawg52]

I have to say that it makes me deeply sad to think that this sort of thing is necessary. Will require some rumination with the aid of[-] bourbon[/-] meds.

My work is never done.

Nothing like a long walk in the fallen fall leaves. As you walk you can smell their beautiful aroma. You can kick piles of them in the air for stress releaf.
With each step you can feel the cares melt away.

Exactly what I did today. I really don't have any stress, but I did it anyway. Pic from today's hike. Fall colors not quite here yet, but on the way.

 

[fisherman]

I'll fess up. In my working days I certainly felt this upon occasion. DW wife also worked outside the house which was important to the following.

Wake up really sick and call in sick. Once everyone leaves have a quite peaceful breakfast alone, Watch any TV you want for a hour or so and then go out in Nature somewhere close for a few hours. Get home in time to take a nap before everyone gets home and wake up feeling only slightly better incase you need another day!

I would usually take a drive to the home I grew up in or to the old family farm as both had a special place to get in touch with my thougts and dreams for a little while.

Be sure to allow Dw to do the same sometimes but never admit to knowing it.

This always helped me. Yes it is lying and could be considered stealing from the company as you are not really sick. My last job they were called Mental health days and we could call in with them every now and then. I never felt guilty about it as I certainly made it up to my wife and the company got its fair share and then some.

 

[brewer12345]

The other problem is the occasional spousal double standard. Selfish when you take time for yourself, but perfectly fine for her to do after she's reached the breaking point. I think we're in the same boat here.

-CC

Although it is hard for me to admit as a neutered, modern 'Merkin male, ding, ding, ding!!! Part of what is pushing m to the edge of the cliffis that just as I drag my thoroughly chewed ass to the weekend, I know that I have full-time kid care duties to deal with because DW is a member of a fairly serious choir which be performing on Sunday. Sorry dear; its nice you lead a full life, but I have needs too.

 

[73ss454]

Tell DW that you're busy Saturday cause you also joined a Choir.

 

[haha]

Although it is hard for me to admit as a neutered, modern 'Merkin male, ding, ding, ding!!! Part of what is pushing m to the edge of the cliffis that just as I drag my thoroughly chewed ass to the weekend, I know that I have full-time kid care duties to deal with because DW is a member of a fairly serious choir which be performing on Sunday. Sorry dear; its nice you lead a full life, but I have needs too.

Propose that you become Mr. Mom, and she becomes wage slave. Married life can suck, I see it with my kids too. I am happy that my time at least was not as awful as yours, but it was worse than my Dad's and Grandfathers'.

What unimaginable hell will our grandsons face? Or will male babies lperhaps look out of the womb and just give it up in advance?

 

[Martha]

Although it is hard for me to admit as a neutered, modern 'Merkin male, ding, ding, ding!!! Part of what is pushing m to the edge of the cliffis that just as I drag my thoroughly chewed ass to the weekend, I know that I have full-time kid care duties to deal with because DW is a member of a fairly serious choir which be performing on Sunday. Sorry dear; its nice you lead a full life, but I have needs too.

Have a babysitter come over. What is wrong with that? You can putz in the yard or something.