Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Career path for daughter?
Old 04-16-2015, 06:43 AM   #1
Dryer sheet wannabe
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 12
Career path for daughter?

My daughter is finishing up 10th grade in high school. She does very well in school she is in English and social studies AP classes. Her belief for a long time was that she had to go to a top school for what you never knew. She recently came home and was upset that she had no idea what she was going to do in her life and everyone else that she knows had a plan and knew what they were doing. All I could do was hug her and tell her I don't know what I'm gonna do in my life how do they know what they're going to do at 16 lol. Not a very easy thing, this is new to us this is our oldest. I think going to talk her into just start by going for required courses. Need some help!!!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________

__________________
robdwny is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 04-16-2015, 06:49 AM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 42,113
Show her this:

Quote:
...some studies suggest a figure as high as 80%, change their major at least once. The average may be as high as changing majors three times during the college years.
When Your College Student Changes Majors | College Parents of America
__________________

__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 07:26 AM   #3
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Duesseldorf, Germany
Posts: 1,005
At that age they do not have to decide what to do in their lifes. The task is too big.
They should decide what to start with, maybe how to use the next year.

Encourage her to explore some job areas, maybe by summer jobs or internships.

Being a good pupil she may also have to learn to fail at one point.
Most grown ups have some turning points in their life.
The turning points are often more beneficial than the straight routes.
__________________
chris2008 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 07:46 AM   #4
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
pb4uski's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Vermont & Sarasota, FL
Posts: 16,434
Some job experiences in areas she thinks might be her life's calling would be good for her... it would give her insight as to what she wants to do or as importantly, what she doesn't want to do. Beyond that, keep pursuing higher education both generally and with an eye to a profession she enjoys where she can provide for herself but knowing that things can change so it is wise to be flexible.

DS has had similar issues and it has been frustrating for us. After an failed attempt at college (he wasn't ready) he is now very hesitant about committing 2-4 years to a course of study since he "doesn't know what he wants to do". I've pointed out to him that of me and my 5 siblings, only 2 of us work/ed in the fields we trained for in college.... the other three have still used their educations and work experience to get good jobs that they enjoy. He's working, enjoys his work and earns enough so he can provide for himself, but not really on any career track but until he is ready to change things there isn't much we can do... you can't push a rope.
__________________
If something cannot endure laughter.... it cannot endure.
Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.
Slow and steady wins the race.
pb4uski is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 07:53 AM   #5
Dryer sheet wannabe
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 12
Thanks for the replies that was one of the things I told my daughter. I can make a list of all friends & family that changed mind on what they were going to college for 5 times.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
robdwny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 08:02 AM   #6
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 1,472
Your daughter's brain won't be fully developed for another 10 years. Most of her friends who know what they want to do will probably change their minds before they finish college. Then they won't get jobs in their field anyway.

Let her know that by being unsure of what she wants to do she is being entirely honest with herself and leaving herself open to more possibilities than her friends. Reassure her that not deciding at this time shows she has greater wisdom and self determination than her friends, who have decided based on what their parents have told them or someone they know, rather than actually exploring the field.
__________________
EastWest Gal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 09:08 AM   #7
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 609
My oldest is also a Sophomore in HS and in the same boat. I like this response. Thanks EastWest Gal

Quote:
Originally Posted by EastWest Gal View Post
Let her know that by being unsure of what she wants to do she is being entirely honest with herself and leaving herself open to more possibilities than her friends. Reassure her that not deciding at this time shows she has greater wisdom and self determination than her friends, who have decided based on what their parents have told them or someone they know, rather than actually exploring the field.
__________________
Retired July 2013 at age 49.

Lazy Portfolio Investor:
AA: 55% Stocks
35% Bonds
10% Cash
NanoSour is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 09:11 AM   #8
Full time employment: Posting here.
BTravlin's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 994
Quote:
Originally Posted by EastWest Gal View Post
Your daughter's brain won't be fully developed for another 10 years. Most of her friends who know what they want to do will probably change their minds before they finish college. Then they won't get jobs in their field anyway.

Let her know that by being unsure of what she wants to do she is being entirely honest with herself and leaving herself open to more possibilities than her friends. Reassure her that not deciding at this time shows she has greater wisdom and self determination than her friends, who have decided based on what their parents have told them or someone they know, rather than actually exploring the field.
+1 Excellent advice!

Also, atll her to try and expose herself to many different fields so that she can see what truly interests her.
__________________
Wherever you go, there you are.
(In other words, no whining!)
BTravlin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 09:51 AM   #9
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
kcowan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pacific latitude 20/49
Posts: 5,720
Send a message via Skype™ to kcowan
She should also be encouraged to take personality tests to show her suitability for various professions. This should lead to a relatively stress-free occupation.
__________________
For the fun of it...Keith
kcowan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 12:10 PM   #10
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Katsmeow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3,399
As others have said, she doesn't have to decide now.

I will say that with 2 of my kids we took them to Johnson O'Connor for aptitude testing and I can't emphasize enough how helpful it was. This is aptitude testing (not interest testing). Our son had been drifting through college changing majors every semester. After the testing, he switched to computer science and immediately found that this was where his talents really were and is a happy senior now. (His switches of major did add to how long it is taking him to finish, but that was OK since he ended up in a much better choice for him than some of the others he had thought about).

Another thing I did with my daughter (who was emphatic she did notwant a 4 year degree and wanted to go to community college to learn more practical courses) was to go through the programs offered at the community colleges nearby and just to go over each one and what the courses were and figure out what she was interested in. Then we researched careers and salaries in the fields she had some interest in. After that she narrowed it down. When she started community college she had really narrowed it down to 2, slightly favoring 1 program over the other. After a few courses (the 2 programs had a few overlapping courses) she was sure what direction she wanted to go in.
__________________
Katsmeow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 12:53 PM   #11
Moderator Emeritus
Bestwifeever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 16,375
She might look for a university in the size that appeals to her that offers many majors and requires core classes for all students. She sounds like a good student with her AP courses. She can double major or get a minor or two in something that interests her, too.

She will be fine, and I am very impressed that she shared her worries with you. I think you handled it perfectly!
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
Bestwifeever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 01:23 PM   #12
Dryer sheet wannabe
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 12
Thanks everyone all this information is helping out a lot and really setting us on the right path. I'm actually looking into that Johnson O'Connor testing. But the closest one to me is at least 8 hours away.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
robdwny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 01:52 PM   #13
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Big_Hitter's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: In the fairway
Posts: 4,098
I "backed into" my profession of almost 30 years when I was in grad school studying applied mathematics (I originally wanted to be a math professor). I think kids stress too hard on this issue. I'd suggest doing general studies for 2 years until she finds out what she's good at or what she likes studying.
__________________
Swing hard, look up
Big_Hitter is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 03:06 PM   #14
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 98
If you don't know what you want to do, start at the local, cheapest, community college. Just take general education classes till you figure it out. I have a co-worker who's daughter went three years to college then decided she didn't like her major. Almost nothing she took would transfer to her new major. Her father was ready to kill her. The dad then made the younger son start lots of aptitude/interest work before he started college. That made the younger son ready to kill the older daughter too!
__________________
Masquernom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 03:27 PM   #15
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 13,277
I will throw in a few thoughts looking at nephew and nieces... my kids are still in HS and elementary.... one is already choosing right now and the other is too young...


I had a niece who did not know what she wanted to do... was not that smart... drifted a lot and took basic courses... dropped out most of the time... she found a guy and got married... struggled for awhile, but he got lucky and received training in the O&G industry and now makes more than anybody... the problem is that if he died, she would loose everything since she had no skills....


Another niece is very smart... almost a perfect SAT... bounced around college for awhile and eventually got a law degree... did not do the necessary things to get in with a good firm even though she was at the top of her class... does not have any ambition at all... takes on part time and temp jobs... as my sister told me one time, her interests are a mile wide and an inch deep... she will be OK since she does have skills, but never did make a choice... kinda fell into where she ended up...


My son is looking at engineering... he is taking some classes in HS and has entered some competitions and won state on a couple... he enjoys doing this and is spending a lot of time doing a project on a train terminal... he knows what he wants to do going forward... he has not yet chosen which university he wants to attend, but knows which group he will choose from...


To me, as long as they are happy and can pay their bills they can do whatever they want... there are some jobs I would frown upon such as porn start or stripper.... but who am I to say that if that was the life they really wanted to leave that they could not.... (not saying I would not have a lot to tell them if they were going that route... just that in the end they have to live with their decision)....
__________________
Texas Proud is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 03:42 PM   #16
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 16,540
Quote:
Originally Posted by EastWest Gal View Post
Your daughter's brain won't be fully developed for another 10 years. Most of her friends who know what they want to do will probably change their minds before they finish college. Then they won't get jobs in their field anyway.

Let her know that by being unsure of what she wants to do she is being entirely honest with herself and leaving herself open to more possibilities than her friends. Reassure her that not deciding at this time shows she has greater wisdom and self determination than her friends, who have decided based on what their parents have told them or someone they know, rather than actually exploring the field.
Yes, yes, yes!

Quote:
Originally Posted by kcowan View Post
She should also be encouraged to take personality tests to show her suitability for various professions. This should lead to a relatively stress-free occupation.
Well, be careful with those results and take them with a wide view. While presumably they have improved since the mid 1960's I took one and it said I should be a farmer. A FARMER?? I had zero interest in that.

Years later I figured out where that came from. I liked being outside. One of the attractions for me of police work was that it was outside and moving around - I loathed the idea of working in an office building.
__________________
I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
Walt34 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 05:04 PM   #17
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 230
I would like to start with I have three very successful sons (each in their 30's now two are millionaires already).... but the third as successful in his life as the others. My advice to them was 1.) Get a college education .. preferably a masters degree 2.) follow your passion ... they all chose different routes but ultimately were successful in their fields .. I never pushed a direction just pushed on excellence. I really did not care what they studied (things change as you learn) but I was insistent on school. It worked and they are all living very happy lives ... and isn't that what life is all about?
__________________
xyz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2015, 07:18 PM   #18
Full time employment: Posting here.
CCdaCE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 887
Pretty good discussion going on over at Bogleheads on the subject of what to tell an 18 year old.

Bogleheads View topic - Career and college advice for current HS students

As others have said, an online Myers Briggs test. http://www.quora.com/What-is-the-mos...rs-Briggs-test

-CC
__________________
"There's those thinkin' more or less, less is more, but if less is more, how you keepin' score?
It means for every point you make, your level drops. Kinda like you're startin' from the top..." "Society" - Eddie Vedder
CCdaCE is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2015, 04:38 AM   #19
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Duesseldorf, Germany
Posts: 1,005
Quote:
Originally Posted by robdwny View Post
But the closest one to me is at least 8 hours away.
Make a summer trip with her. What 's 2x 8 hours in a lifetime?
__________________
chris2008 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2015, 05:02 AM   #20
Dryer sheet wannabe
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by chris2008 View Post
Make a summer trip with her. What 's 2x 8 hours in a lifetime?

That's exactly what we would do. She loves the big cities. She just got back from France and Spain for 10 days. It would not be an issue to do this and fun for us all.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________

__________________
robdwny is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Daughter and the Car samclem Other topics 26 06-14-2008 11:41 PM
Surprise Laptop for Daughter TromboneAl Other topics 24 12-07-2007 03:44 PM
Working For My Daughter? Danny Life after FIRE 16 07-31-2007 02:52 PM
Poll for Naming my Daughter laurence Other topics 45 02-03-2007 09:17 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:09 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.