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Re: Confused and scared
Old 07-21-2005, 04:39 PM   #21
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Re: Confused and scared

Quote:
Originally Posted by confused
Is retiring for me more important then my childs education?
Confused, let me jump on the bandwagon here regarding helping with your child's education.

The primary help you need to give a child is an environment that respects and nurtures the importance of learning. It does no good for you to scrimp and save for them to go to college if they don't see you valuing the importance of education while they are growing up.

We have two children that heard "when you go to college..." repeatedly from their parents when they were in middle and high school. They were conditioned ('brainwashed'?) that they would go to college after high school, understood they had to have respectable grades to get there, etc. Their degrees were financed through a combination of ways: scholarships, loans, work, a little from us, a little from grandparents, etc. The fact that they had to earn a significant portion of their tuition and expenses made them a lot more serious about their studies than some of their classmates.

Bottom line - it is much more important to create an environment that fosters your child's education than saving to fund it.

REW
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Re: Confused and scared
Old 07-21-2005, 05:23 PM   #22
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Re: Confused and scared

Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo!


Bottom line - it is much more important to create an environment that fosters your child's education than saving to fund it.
Concur. For me the motivation was watching my father taking college classes when I was a kid - he did his homework at the kitchen table right next to me. For the first few years he took classes at night after working a long day. Later he went to school during the day and worked at night. He earned his college degree when I was 12 years-old. We went from poor to middle class within a month of him earning the degree (he went from manual laborer to engineer). I know there are other ways to succeed in life, but for me - having that vivid example at that particular age was enough to convince me of the value of an education and I made sure I got mine.
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Re: Confused and scared
Old 07-21-2005, 05:25 PM   #23
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Re: Confused and scared

Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl
The simpleliving forum can be a little extreme, but I've gotten some good ideas there.* Here is an example of an extreme post from this week (I'm not making this up):
*

The peanut butter strainer is a nut job of course, but unclemick has a point
about the electricity. *In June I spent 4 days fishing in northern Wisconsin.
No TV, no phone, no radio, etc. *The only electricity was provided by generator which was turned off most of the time. *I felt
no deprivation at all. *I could live there easily.

JG
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Re: Confused and scared
Old 07-21-2005, 06:11 PM   #24
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Re: Confused and scared

I was in a far worse situation at your age. I was a single mother (no child support) making less than 40k, owed 20K in back taxes, and was 36,000 in debt with NO retirement savings or any kind of savings whatsoever. I drove heaps that barely ran. I was robbing peter to pay paul. It was not pretty. However with sheer determination and time, I turned my situation completly around. I finished college and worked 7 days a week for 6 years. Now I'm 43, hold a Sr engineering position, make over 100K, own my own home and drive a brand new car that's paid for. I have a pretty good reserve account, enough to sustain me for 18 months should I lose my job. My 401k is on the light side, but I'm trying to catch up by maxing out my contributions.

Having said that, it is absolutely possible to improve your situation. It takes time and perseverance. Nothing happens overnight. You have some very good suggestions in this thread. You can do it!

I wish you the best of luck
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Re: Confused and scared
Old 07-21-2005, 06:13 PM   #25
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Re: Confused and scared

BTW - My child is 16 years old and she's smart, mature and responsible. Mouthy as heck, but I've never had any problems with her.
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Re: Confused and scared
Old 07-21-2005, 08:18 PM   #26
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Re: Confused and scared

Cube, you got game. Congratulations.

Ha
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Re: Confused and scared
Old 07-21-2005, 08:29 PM   #27
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Re: Confused and scared

Next on the Horatio Alger Hour......, I grew up in a single familiy household and my mom didnt have a college education. We still lived below our means and she never made anywhere near 40k and looking back I think it is good for kids to have some adversity. I was a pretty good student and was able to have a good education and have a nice engineering job, also.

If you have an excellent public university in the area, have the scrapper live at home, get scholarships, and help her out as you can and have her work summers. Works for a lot of folks!
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Re: Confused and scared
Old 07-22-2005, 05:02 PM   #28
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Re: Confused and scared

Further reinforcement: College vs. Retirement? Retirement Wins

http://www.fool.com/News/mft/2005/mft05072234.htm

REW
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Re: Confused and scared
Old 07-22-2005, 08:17 PM   #29
 
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Re: Confused and scared

That link's not working too well.
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Re: Confused and scared
Old 07-22-2005, 08:21 PM   #30
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Re: Confused and scared

Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl
That link's not working too well.
Thanks Al. Try it now.

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Re: Confused and scared
Old 07-28-2005, 09:16 AM   #31
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Re: Confused and scared

So much information to take in. However, I can not stop feeling a little less confused and scared. I love the fact that people take time out to share their story. It is a great motivator. I think I can start not being so scared and just take a day at a time along with action. I do not see myself going to school, mostly because I am so slow at it and I @ 35 have to start with classes below high school level. That is hard for me to think about, but believe me I think about it. The car, I do feel I only got it because I needed something reliable and yes I am much buried. It is 16,800 I owe and $7000 is the worth and the other $2000 is medical dept. My credit is actually bad so I am cleaning it up. But I do not push that education is the big thing in my house which I know I should even more so now.
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Re: Confused and scared
Old 07-28-2005, 10:08 AM   #32
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Re: Confused and scared

Congratulations on your efforts to keep you and your child's life safe and stable.* You are a lot smarter than you give yourself credit, you are thoughtfull and prudent.* I have known book-smart folks who earned high grades in school who failed day-to-day living, and more who struggled through and did well.

Although you may not have done well in school there is no reason why your child can't do well.* Take time at the end of the day to read with him/her, do some math exercises together.* Not only is this good "Mommy and Me" time, your child will see that you are interested in education, and maybe you will refresh your own skills.

Live each day fully, save for your retirement, and you will be OK.
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Re: Confused and scared
Old 07-28-2005, 12:03 PM   #33
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Re: Confused and scared

Quote:
Originally Posted by Caroline
Yakkers really hit the nail on the head regarding the question of your retirement vs your child's education.* I'd just add (since I know that as a mother you're going to feel GUILY no matter what you do!* ;-)* *that I'm another example of his point.

I never got a dime from my parents for college - they just didn't have it.* But my grandfather and my mother were VERY clear about the value of an education, they encourage me to do my best, and reinforced the belief that I had the brains to do whatever I wanted.
People tend to really value those things that they've earned for themselves, as opposed to those that are just given to them.
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