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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house
Old 08-18-2006, 08:05 AM   #21
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house

I'm emotionally attached to our house. We built it recently, after years of apartment or nomadic living, so it is our first stake on the earth. The decision to buy was definitely a lifestyle choice, not an investment. The house was designed to meet our needs, not what someone else might want. Watching the kid play in the yard makes it all worth it.
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house
Old 08-18-2006, 12:01 PM   #22
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house

Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo!
I've gotta ask...what the heck did your DW catch you doing?* Snorkeling with the neighbor lady?

Actually, we lived together in that tent for two months. I don't miss it at all, but DW feels more emotional about that tent than about any of our other residences. When she talks about living in the tent she sounds a lot like astromeria describing her experience living in a tent.

In 1978, DW and I quit our jobs in Mountain View, CA. I was working as an engineer in Silicon Valley and she was a hospital dietician on the heart transport floor at Stanford Medical Center. We took the money we had saved and moved to Raleigh, NC where I started grad school and she started work on a degree in electrical engineering. But when we got to Raleigh, finding housing we could afford turned out to be more difficult than we had anticipated. So we spent two months in a tent. Homework by campfire was an interesting experience. Like I said, I don't miss it.
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house
Old 08-18-2006, 04:50 PM   #23
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house

My maternal grandparents bought their house from relatives ~1900 in St. Thomas.

They had 2 sets of twins (boys) in 1904 and 1906. My dear uncles now deceased.

My aunt, 1915, lives around the corner.

Aunt #2, 1917 lives in Cambridge but drives an hour to the homestead about once a month.

Mom was born in 1919 in the same house as the rest.

The Zipper and his brother (1943) (1946) moved in with grandpa along with mom and dad when grandma died in 1948.

Mom is still there. I'm over a couple of times a week and make sure things are OK.

Yes, I would say the Zippers are emotionally attached.

I know every square inch of the gardens and house.

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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house
Old 08-18-2006, 05:39 PM   #24
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house

Wow, lots more are attached to their houses too!*

I think buying my grandparents house from my family (at a good discount from market value) really has contributed to how well I am doing in life financially.*

Cheap housing goes a long way toward being able to save for retirement and invest.*

Ok, so now how do I break my emotional ties, sell the place, and build another house with the profits?* On a pure financial viewpoint, this makes a HUGE amount of sense.*

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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house
Old 08-18-2006, 09:52 PM   #25
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house

I have lived in I don't know how many houses in my lifetime, air force brat and now serving myself. It seems like every time I have moved on the next place is always better but I still am attached to the two that we had built. But happy where we are now and will be happy at the next place.
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house
Old 08-19-2006, 09:57 AM   #26
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house

I think the right question to ask about such matters as an emotional attachment to a house is whether you can afford it or not. We don't have any trouble criticizing someone's choice to buy something he can't afford, but "must" have for some emotional reason like gaining face. A "hold" decision on anything including a home should be subject to the same analysis. If the cost of succumbing to an emotion is affordable and well-understood, then who could argue with it? It is when emotions are allowed to dominate financial decisions without consideration of the costs that people find themselves somewhere they don't want to be. Here are two examples from real friends of mine.

Peter is in his mid-forties and has a large house in New Jersey. He is very successfull, highly compensated, and has nvested very well over the years. He views the prospect of a bursting housing bubble with indifference and this is rational because the investment value of his home has effectively no utility for him at all. He can afford to regard his house purely as a home.

My friend Liz on the other hand is an underpaid adjunct professor at a university in her early sixties. No tenure, probably few benefits. However, in 1999 she managed to buy her large condominium apartment from the sponsor for a song because of the peculiar negotiating position that holdover tenants have here in New York City. She figures now that she could walk away from a sale with $1 million net and plans to do just that in two years when she will retire to California, funded entirely by the proceeds from the sale of the apartment. My advice to her is to sell now. I expect the housing bubble to burst here, particularly if there is a recession next year, values could drop quickly. She has lived in the apartment for thirty years and can't face the disruption of moving to a rental.

Now, the previously unexpected investment value from her apartment has an extremely high utility for her because it enables a comfortable retirement which she could never have afforded otherwise. By comparison, the utility of the apartment as a "home" with all the warm emotional associations of thirty years of living seems very low to me because it has only two years to run in any case. I vividly remember the housing bust of the early nineties when apartments in NYC dropped 30% in about three years. My question to her is: are the remaining two years of warm fuzzies worth the possibility of losing, say, $200,000? To my mind there are only two ways to answer yes to that question: yes, because two years would be worth $200,000 to me or yes, because I have analyzed the housing market and decided that the risk is too low to bother with.

A home usually has both investment value, the prospect of capital gain in the future, and value as a consumable, that is, shelter. But the relative value of each differs depending on the owner's total financial picture and it also changes over time. When people fail to consider these aspects carefully they run the risk of misvaluing their biggest asset.

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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house
Old 08-22-2006, 08:14 AM   #27
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house

Quote:
Originally Posted by astromeria
Even though I don't own it any more, I'm still emotionally attached to the tent in which I spent 4 months sleeping when traveling cross country in 1972. It was bright orange and shaped like a teepee--I could just stand up in the middle. The feeling of freedom for those months, first time out west, lack of responsibility (made too little money to pay taxes that year, had no health insurance), made using campground bathrooms, many cold showers, and laundromats worth it. (And we had $50 left from the $400 we started with after 4 months!) I have never been as emotionally attached to a house as I was to that tent, although we're extremely comfortable in our current place.
My daughter, who's visiting this week, told me that her father (my ex) still has this tent, and has used and repaired it over the years. For some reason that makes me happy--like a valued bit of my past isn't dead, or something.
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house
Old 08-22-2006, 06:00 PM   #28
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house

Why don't you ask him for it back? I means more to you than him. He might be a nice guy and let you have it.
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house
Old 08-22-2006, 08:05 PM   #29
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house

Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCGuy
I think the right question to ask about such matters as an emotional attachment to a house is whether you can afford it or not. We don't have any trouble criticizing someone's choice to buy something he can't afford, but "must" have for some emotional reason like gaining face. A "hold" decision on anything including a home should be subject to the same analysis. If the cost of succumbing to an emotion is affordable and well-understood, then who could argue with it? It is when emotions are allowed to dominate financial decisions without consideration of the costs that people find themselves somewhere they don't want to be. Here are two examples from real friends of mine.

Peter is in his mid-forties and has a large house in New Jersey. He is very successfull, highly compensated, and has nvested very well over the years. He views the prospect of a bursting housing bubble with indifference and this is rational because the investment value of his home has effectively no utility for him at all. He can afford to regard his house purely as a home.

My friend Liz on the other hand is an underpaid adjunct professor at a university in her early sixties. No tenure, probably few benefits. However, in 1999 she managed to buy her large condominium apartment from the sponsor for a song because of the peculiar negotiating position that holdover tenants have here in New York City. She figures now that she could walk away from a sale with $1 million net and plans to do just that in two years when she will retire to California, funded entirely by the proceeds from the sale of the apartment. My advice to her is to sell now. I expect the housing bubble to burst here, particularly if there is a recession next year, values could drop quickly. She has lived in the apartment for thirty years and can't face the disruption of moving to a rental.

Now, the previously unexpected investment value from her apartment has an extremely high utility for her because it enables a comfortable retirement which she could never have afforded otherwise. By comparison, the utility of the apartment as a "home" with all the warm emotional associations of thirty years of living seems very low to me because it has only two years to run in any case. I vividly remember the housing bust of the early nineties when apartments in NYC dropped 30% in about three years. My question to her is: are the remaining two years of warm fuzzies worth the possibility of losing, say, $200,000? To my mind there are only two ways to answer yes to that question: yes, because two years would be worth $200,000 to me or yes, because I have analyzed the housing market and decided that the risk is too low to bother with.

A home usually has both investment value, the prospect of capital gain in the future, and value as a consumable, that is, shelter. But the relative value of each differs depending on the owner's total financial picture and it also changes over time. When people fail to consider these aspects carefully they run the risk of misvaluing their biggest asset.

We sold our home in NJ for well over 500,000 the first day of may and made a 300,000+ profit in 10 years of owning the place.

the homes in the neighborhood are still on the market all listed for under 495,000 as of today and there are too many to count!!

We sold at the right time and now live down in NC with a small 40,000 mortgage on a brand new builders spec house, a real find that is built like the old days!

Yes we had an attachment in fact I was teary eyed when I left and still have feelings about the place friends and such, but the market made it so now I can RE next year and have a 390 dollar a month mortgage or I can pay it off sooner than later. Yes 51 a bit sad I did love the place, planted 50 or so trees and grew all kinds of veggies, painted and built the deck.

oh well new diggs are nice too.
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house
Old 08-23-2006, 07:51 AM   #30
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house

My old condo is only about 9 miles away from where I live now, but it's in the opposite direction of work and everything else, so I really don't get out that way much. I do feel a slight tug sometimes when I drive through that area. Even though it's getting built up and crowded, it's still not as bad as where I'm at now.

Back in November 2000 I planted a pine tree out between the master bedroom and the street, in the hopes that it would one day grow up and provide a little bit of a barrier between the street and the condo, and also to block out the setting sun a bit. It was a little thing, maybe 3-4 feet tall. I like to drive by sometimes to see how it's grown. Last time I went by I think it was about 15 feet. I also planted a crepe myrtle, some snake grass, and some yucca plants out by my front door. It puts a smile on my face when I go up through there and see how well everything's still doing.

I do miss that condo sometimes. I DON'T miss some of the neighbors, and the lack of parking. And I DON'T miss the drafty sliding trailerpark windows, or the condo fee that kept going up. But I was still emotionally attached to it a bit. However, I'm more emotionally attached to the $101K profit I sold it for! 8)
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house
Old 08-23-2006, 08:48 AM   #31
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house

I was very attached to a place where I spend my first 16 yrs. Loved it. But then we left the country and there was that. When we firs came to US, we (me and my parents) rented for a few years and then bought a house. I never got attached to it, even though I lived there for over 10 yrs. But I still miss my first "home"

My DH wants to build a house himself. May be then I'll feel something towards it. Who knows.

Lena
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house
Old 08-23-2006, 09:24 AM   #32
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Re: Emotionally Attached to my house

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lazarus
Why don't you ask him for it back? I means more to you than him. He might be a nice guy and let you have it.
I would never ask--we divvied up our stuff when we split up almost 25 years ago and have never revisited that unpleasantness. And he has been using it--or at least the kids have been, including his second set of kids.

My husband and I have a nice tent that's all mesh on top for seeing the stars when going to sleep (if we don't put up the fly). I am content.

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