ER in 9 years and scared to death

[LivePassionately]

I literally LOL'd at this!

Now, the reality is exactly like other posters have already said. In my case, I have lost 2 brothers, my oldest friend, my Dad and Step-Dad, and my closest friend now has cancer. My wife has lost her best friend and two other friends. All of this in the last 3 years, so really, we can't retire soon enough!

We have a fraction of what you describe, but we have a plan to live a happy, frugal life. In a few years (1? 10? 40? We don't know how many), good luck or bad luck, we'll all be pushing up daisies in the bone-yard at some point. My job is lucrative and (mostly) interesting, but I don't enjoy it enough to spend my remaining years doing it. You may feel differently, but that's where I come from.

Man - You are making me think now.. Odds are that we will all be alive for a long time but when this type of stuff happens (deaths at younger ages) it makes me want to retire tomorrow and just jet off to hawaii for six months.

 

[dixonge]

Yes, but the part I found difficult to understand is that this spending level is being coupled with an intense fear of poverty. If you're terrified of poverty, wouldn't you be reigning in your spending, not spending money hand over fist? That's the part I didn't get.

Yeah, this story isn't the kind you'd read about in "The Millionaire Next Door" is it? Well, at least not the ones I hear about, where millionaires drive older cars and live frugally...

 

[RobbieB]

There is a time to save and a time to spend.

Too much of either one makes life dull.

 

[ER Eddie]

Man - You are making me think now.. Odds are that we will all be alive for a long time but when this type of stuff happens (deaths at younger ages) it makes me want to retire tomorrow and just jet off to hawaii for six months.

It's odd -- once I started to wonder whether I should retire, it seems like I can't turn around without hearing a story about some guy who died in his 50s or 60s. I must have heard at least a dozen stories like that, just in the last month. Either I'm just attuned to the issue, or somebody up there is trying to tell me something.

 

[LivePassionately]

It's odd -- once I started to wonder whether I should retire, it seems like I can't turn around without hearing a story about some guy who died in his 50s or 60s. I must have heard at least a dozen stories like that, just in the last month. Either I'm just attuned to the issue, or somebody up there is trying to tell me something.

Yes and I have actually been bummed out lately and I'm always a happy person I have this dread where I feel my time on this earth my be limited (and have never had it before)... not sure if its a good thing at all..

 

[haha]

Yes and I have actually been bummed out lately and I'm always a happy person I have this dread where I feel my time on this earth my be limited (and have never had it before)... not sure if its a good thing at all..

My Dad was worried that he was near death from his mid-forties. He died in his late 80s.

I laugh when I read all these "I keep hearing about people dying in 50s,60s etc". Of course, some also die in their aughts or teens. This is inherent in any large group of people. But consult the mortality data- one sees that for the most part we live pretty long lives, whether we spend them worrying, retired, or working.

Ha

 

[ER Eddie]

Yes and I have actually been bummed out lately and I'm always a happy person I have this dread where I feel my time on this earth my be limited (and have never had it before)... not sure if its a good thing at all..

I suppose it's something everyone grapples with as they get older. I think there's something about contemplating retirement that brings it up, too, because we're saying, "Okay, the work/career part of my life is over now. That's behind me. Now I'm in the final phase."

I'm different than you, in that I'm not always a happy person; in fact, I'm prone to a little Irish melancholy now and then. I've been conscious of death and my limited time from a young age. Had an existential crisis of sorts in my 20s. Even in my 40s and into my 50s, I have had a lot of interest in near-death experiences, afterlife studies, etc., and have read widely in that area.

Some people think of this as morbid. I don't. I think of it as getting out of the narrow day-to-day perspective and gaining a broader view, and informing myself about what really matters. I don't want to be preoccupied with death, but I like to remember it now and then, because I think it helps me make better use of the limited time I have here. Not that I spend every moment wisely and consciously (lol, hardly -- I fart around for large portions of every day).

I'm sorry you're feeling down about it. I don't have an solutions for you. I think it's a very individual thing, how we deal with that issue.

It's a prod for retirement, that's for sure. I think to myself, "What if I only have 10 good years left? How do I want to spend that time?"

 

[LivePassionately]

My Dad was worried that he was near death from his mid-forties. He died in his late 80s.

I laugh when I read all these "I keep hearing about people dying in 50s,60s etc". Of course, some also die in their aughts or teens. This is inherent in any large group of people. But consult the mortality data- one sees that for the most part we live pretty long lives, whether we spend them worrying, retired, or working.

Ha

Haha.. Your humor was helpful and it's broken me out of the temporary doldrums..

This is like feeling unsafe when you neighbor's house gets broken into., when yours has never been broken into. Statistically your house is not really any more or less likely to get broken into but it just get into your mind (at least for a short time)..

I think, as Eddie wisely points out, this should be used to "carpe diem" and seize the moment and not to perseverate on that fact that we will eventually become worm food.

Eddie - You will like this quote: "Man is an animal suspended in webs of significance he himself has spun"

 

[ER Eddie]

Haha.. Your humor was helpful and it's broken me out of the temporary doldrums..

This is like feeling unsafe when you neighbor's house gets broken into., when yours has never been broken into. Statistically your house is not really any more or less likely to get broken into but it just get into your mind (at least for a short time)..

I think, as Eddie wisely points out, this should be used to "carpe diem" and seize the moment and not to perseverate on that fact that we will eventually become worm food.

Eddie - You will like this quote: "Man is an animal suspended in webs of significance he himself has spun"

I like that. I also think we are suspended in webs of significance which are real, but which we do not understand.

I'm not worried about death. When I was an atheist/agnostic in my teens, 20's and 30's, I found the idea of death disturbing. Now, after many years of questioning and study, I look forward to it (although I'm not in any hurry, thank you). I don't look forward to the dying process, but death itself sounds like fun. We think of retirement as the last phase of life, but really, death is just another retirement, from this life to the next. I think it's worthwhile to plan for that retirement, too.

 

[Nemo2]

I look forward to death (although I'm not in any hurry, thank you). I don't look forward to the dying process, but death itself sounds like fun. We think of retirement as the last phase of life, but really, death is just another retirement, from this life to the next. I think it's worthwhile to plan for that retirement, too.

I'm not there yet either, but I've accepted that, at one point, I'll figure enough is enough. Just hope I don't die before I reach that point.

 

[medved]

I can relate to much of what LP the OP is saying. I think the psychological part of retirement planning can be at least as complex as the financial part. And I do think one's family background has an influence. The OP, for example, grew up without money and so fears poverty. He is not poor and is exceptionally unlikely to be poor. But fears are not always entirely rational. My father made decent money but (although he was an amazingly great guy) spent imprudently. So I am very careful with money and risk-averse -- more so than a "rational" observer would say is necessary. The mind works in interesting ways and it is hard to ignore/escape what happened in formative years.

I have enough money to retire and live well, and yet I continue to work at a job that I no longer enjoy and that is very stressful. But yet, thus far, I have not been able to take the leap. Is that irrational? Maybe. But I need to get my head there.

If someone could tell me precisely how old I will be when I die, that might help.

 

[euro]

I can relate to much of what LP the OP is saying. I think the psychological part of retirement planning can be at least as complex as the financial part. And I do think one's family background has an influence. The OP, for example, grew up without money and so fears poverty. He is not poor and is exceptionally unlikely to be poor. But fears are not always entirely rational. My father made decent money but (although he was an amazingly great guy) spent imprudently. So I am very careful with money and risk-averse -- more so than a "rational" observer would say is necessary. The mind works in interesting ways and it is hard to ignore/escape what happened in formative years.

I have enough money to retire and live well, and yet I continue to work at a job that I no longer enjoy and that is very stressful. But yet, thus far, I have not been able to take the leap. Is that irrational? Maybe. But I need to get my head there.

If someone could tell me precisely how old I will be when I die, that might help.

Sorry, unfortunately, everyone's crystal ball seems cloudy on that particular point....
I do understand your concern though. I too asked myself that question and I ended up picking "possibly as little as 1-2 years" as an answer. Yes, I could have dropped dead the next day, or I could live another 40 years, but I figured both to be unlikely. If I were to come down with some terminal disease, in many cases (though not all, of course), I'd likely get a year or two before passing. Once I discerned 1-2 years as a unfortunate, but definitely POSSIBLE scenario, I decided to give notice and FIRE.
Seems like a weird process in retrospect, but that's how my mind operated and it worked out fine for me.

 

[RockLife]

Man - You are making me think now.. Odds are that we will all be alive for a long time but when this type of stuff happens (deaths at younger ages) it makes me want to retire tomorrow and just jet off to hawaii for six months.

THIS!

 

[exnavynuke]

I can relate to much of what LP the OP is saying. I think the psychological part of retirement planning can be at least as complex as the financial part. And I do think one's family background has an influence. The OP, for example, grew up without money and so fears poverty. He is not poor and is exceptionally unlikely to be poor. But fears are not always entirely rational. My father made decent money but (although he was an amazingly great guy) spent imprudently. So I am very careful with money and risk-averse -- more so than a "rational" observer would say is necessary. The mind works in interesting ways and it is hard to ignore/escape what happened in formative years.

I have enough money to retire and live well, and yet I continue to work at a job that I no longer enjoy and that is very stressful. But yet, thus far, I have not been able to take the leap. Is that irrational? Maybe. But I need to get my head there.

If someone could tell me precisely how old I will be when I die, that might help.

Like almost all people, too young is how old you'll be when you die...

 

[LivePassionately]

I know this thread is old but My thinking has evolved thanks to this forum and doing some deep inner work so figured an update may help others.

1. My anxiety / fear of poverty is pretty much gone. This just took time, meditation/deep inner work, and really spending a lot of time thinking my life through for over a year. In fact, the opposite has happened - Money seems to have much less meaning in a life. This is a HUGE win for someone such as myself and it's very freeing.

2. I took care of key issues i was putting off. Will is done. Got some additional life insurance just in case as I had very little

3. I am comfortable investing in the market and not as afraid. Cash has gone from from 1+ million to about 400K (Some into stocks and a lot more into real estate).

4. Have been traveling like crazy and taking much longer trips and it feels a lot less rushed.

5. I will likely retire around 47 instead of 50/51 simply because I can and there is no need to keep doing. Doing a 2-month sabbatical soon and will see how that plays out and make a decision from there. Also had a heart to heart with the wife and she seems ready to call it quits by 50 and travel with me so that's a big win.

 

[cooch96]

Bravo! Changing your own attitude is often one of life’s greatest challenges. And changing it for the better is a reason for jubilation. I hope your sabbatical is enjoyable and illuminating.

 

[Beer-man]

I know this thread is old but My thinking has evolved thanks to this forum and doing some deep inner work so figured an update may help others.

1. My anxiety / fear of poverty is pretty much gone. This just took time, meditation/deep inner work, and really spending a lot of time thinking my life through for over a year. In fact, the opposite has happened - Money seems to have much less meaning in a life. This is a HUGE win for someone such as myself and it's very freeing.

2. I took care of key issues i was putting off. Will is done. Got some additional life insurance just in case as I had very little

3. I am comfortable investing in the market and not as afraid. Cash has gone from from 1+ million to about 400K (Some into stocks and a lot more into real estate).

4. Have been traveling like crazy and taking much longer trips and it feels a lot less rushed.

5. I will likely retire around 47 instead of 50/51 simply because I can and there is no need to keep doing. Doing a 2-month sabbatical soon and will see how that plays out and make a decision from there. Also had a heart to heart with the wife and she seems ready to call it quits by 50 and travel with me so that's a big win.

Thanks for the update, nice to hear the before/after. Lots of people on retirement forums lead very fulfilling and meaningful lives on 35-60k a year, any thought to reducing spending? My family of 5 is doing pretty well on 50k a year...I could walk away and never work again if I had your portfolio. Just a thought.
I do understand the irrational fear of not having money after coming from humble beginnings but while making alot of money. My wife and I both have this. In the past it has driven me to worry and work too much. In the last year however I have used it to gain control of my finances and develop a plan for now and the future so work isn't always a requirement....and that fear is almost gone now.

 

[LivePassionately]

Hey - I believe we can live on 50-60K a year but I don't think it will make sense with the amount of assets we'll have. Basically, I'm targeting $170-200k in pre-tax annual spending and the real estate net income will cover that. This will leave the stock accounts untouched.

We don't need crazy luxury but we are in a HCOL area and the plan is to downsize to a small home in the area due to friends/family but we will travel and live internationally at least 3-4 months out of the year so the $170-200k will really help us live the way we want. Again, if there are some issues and we need to cut to 50%, can easily live off $85-100K if needed.

Thanks for the update, nice to hear the before/after. Lots of people on retirement forums lead very fulfilling and meaningful lives on 35-60k a year, any thought to reducing spending? My family of 5 is doing pretty well on 50k a year...I could walk away and never work again if I had your portfolio. Just a thought.
I do understand the irrational fear of not having money after coming from humble beginnings but while making alot of money. My wife and I both have this. In the past it has driven me to worry and work too much. In the last year however I have used it to gain control of my finances and develop a plan for now and the future so work isn't always a requirement....and that fear is almost gone now.

 

[kgtest]

Hey - I believe we can live on 50-60K a year but I don't think it will make sense with the amount of assets we'll have. Basically, I'm targeting $170-200k in pre-tax annual spending and the real estate net income will cover that. This will leave the stock accounts untouched.

We don't need crazy luxury but we are in a HCOL area and the plan is to downsize to a small home in the area due to friends/family but we will travel and live internationally at least 3-4 months out of the year so the $170-200k will really help us live the way we want. Again, if there are some issues and we need to cut to 50%, can easily live off $85-100K if needed.

EXPAT? Or do you just like international travel? Where is your top destination? I only ask because living in London or Dubai for three months is a lot different than living in Mexico City or Thailand.



What is your definition of crazy luxery? Mine is maid and butler, Bentley and Gulfstream, why not throw in a side of Wagyu beef.

 

[tearsforfears]

You're my age and have 6 times my assets and you're worried about retirement in 9 years.
Yet here I am worrying about retirement in 1 year... something is very wrong..

 

[jim584672]

Millions of dollars and scared to death. Sounds like Suzy Orman.

 

[pacergal]

I know this thread is old but My thinking has evolved thanks to this forum and doing some deep inner work so figured an update may help others.

1. My anxiety / fear of poverty is pretty much gone. This just took time, meditation/deep inner work, and really spending a lot of time thinking my life through for over a year. In fact, the opposite has happened - Money seems to have much less meaning in a life. This is a HUGE win for someone such as myself and it's very freeing.

2. I took care of key issues i was putting off. Will is done. Got some additional life insurance just in case as I had very little

3. I am comfortable investing in the market and not as afraid. Cash has gone from from 1+ million to about 400K (Some into stocks and a lot more into real estate).

4. Have been traveling like crazy and taking much longer trips and it feels a lot less rushed.

5. I will likely retire around 47 instead of 50/51 simply because I can and there is no need to keep doing. Doing a 2-month sabbatical soon and will see how that plays out and make a decision from there. Also had a heart to heart with the wife and she seems ready to call it quits by 50 and travel with me so that's a big win.

OP-- good for you to take the time to work through your issues. Glad you are more comfortable with your plans. Your Retirement will arrive sooner than you think! Enjoy your life!

 

[NW-Bound]

... Everything can go into the crapper in a heartbeat, (or, more to the point, the lack of one), and 'stuff' (a la George Carlin) isn't worth a damn and won't give you one more second on earth.

Just the cue I need to post one of my favorite gloomy songs that I have been guilty of sharing at least a dozen times over the years (and will continue to do so).

 

[timemoveson]

OP-- good for you to take the time to work through your issues. Glad you are more comfortable with your plans. Your Retirement will arrive sooner than you think! Enjoy your life!

Agreed L-P, great for you. The people here and in your life who cannot understand your particulars and situation will...simply continue to not understand. They don't matter in the slightest. You've got this.

 

[Col. Klink]

OP, just read threw this thread. Saw that someone suggested for you a FA. Saw you also are investing now at VG. My suggestion is that you consider VG's Advisory Service. You appear to be someone who doesn't want to be really hands on with the investments and your DW is fully engaged being a physician. The other thing good about this is if something should happen to you, your assets are being managed. This will make it easier for your DW.

I have told my DW that as soon as I am no longer vertical she should contact our VG Flagship rep and let them handle the finances from there with help as required from our Enrolled Agent for tax matters.