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Old 10-03-2013, 07:43 PM   #61
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Over the past year or two, I've gotten into the FIRE thing and LBYM. Changed my priorities and outlook on life quite a bit.
So you changed your financial outlook on life quite a bit in the past couple of years. I wonder if women can do that sometimes too? Especially when the man of their dreams shows them how wonderful life can be with that new outlook.

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One error some men make, is not realizing that few women are naturally gorgeous, and it takes continual infusions of money and time to produce the package of long, straight, shiny "blonde" locks, tanned skin, made-up face, gym-toned (and cosmetically enhanced) body, fancy outfits, shoes, etc. which young men seem to find so irresistible. Then they wonder why their gorgeous girl friends and wives never seem to have any money. Not saying that applies to OP, only that I've seen it happen.
Amethyst...hair straightening and powder and paint and fancy outfits is what women do for women, not because men like it. Men want honesty (but not to the point of rudeness), acceptance, nurturing, and that toned and enhanced body you mentioned sounds pretty good, too.

heh heh heh unclemick, thanks for coming up for air long enough to let us know of your happy circumstances. Congratulations!
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Old 10-03-2013, 09:19 PM   #62
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Hmmm - not to rush but I got married to a young widow woman(66) at age 70 this month. In a previous life I spend 29 yrs with a divorced Catholic trying to burn the house down in New Orleans. Two packs of cigs a day got her(emphysema) - I was a one pack person now finally smoke free( 8 yrs).

Heh heh heh - and yes we are on the pretty much the same wavelength romance and finance wise.
Congratulations unclemick!!! I love hearing that you found love again and that you have been smoke-free for 8 years. I hope that you have plenty of partying years ahead of you.
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Old 10-03-2013, 09:38 PM   #63
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Carl, for one perspective google the perspective of Tom Leykis and his internet radio show on the topic. Many truths, but reality is we all seek that one soul mate for love in life. I can relate to your despair but please do not settle or sour. Keep your eyes and heart open.
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Old 10-04-2013, 12:25 AM   #64
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Hmmm - not to rush but I got married to a young widow woman(66) at age 70 this month. In a previous life I spend 29 yrs with a divorced Catholic trying to burn the house down in New Orleans. Two packs of cigs a day got her(emphysema) - I was a one pack person now finally smoke free( 8 yrs).

Heh heh heh - and yes we are on the pretty much the same wavelength romance and finance wise.
CONGRATS!!!! Wishing you many happy years of boogeying together!


omni
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Old 10-04-2013, 07:19 AM   #65
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Hmmm - not to rush but I got married to a young widow woman(66) at age 70 this month. ........
Pssst...congratulations!
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Old 10-04-2013, 12:14 PM   #66
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Pssst...congratulations!
+1
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Old 10-04-2013, 12:39 PM   #67
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Congrats Mick. I hope you have many, many happy years together.

Ha
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Old 10-06-2013, 03:39 PM   #68
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I fully realize there are many worthless guys looking for sugar mommas, just as there are gold-digging women - but surfing around on YouTube, I happened upon a recent song from Britney Spears that had some lyrics that were too relevant to this thread. Of course, the lyrics could also apply to those suffering the OMY syndrome. Or even as a 'going away song' when you early retire and walk out the door from work, for those staying behind to keep working.

You wanna hot body
You want a Bugatti
You want a Maseratti
You better work bitch
You want a Lamborghini
Sippin' martinis
Look hot in a bikini
You better work bitch
You wanna live fancy
Live in a big mansion
Party in France


Lyrics link

Since the b-word is sometimes used as a gender-neutral pronoun these days, the song isn't intended to be directed at women...
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Old 10-07-2013, 09:18 AM   #69
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Since the b-word is sometimes used as a gender-neutral pronoun these days.
Really?

I suppose there is a large difference between "used" and "correctly used" ...

For the record, I don't particularly want any of the things mentioned in the lyrics, so I guess I can continue not working!
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Old 10-08-2013, 12:22 PM   #70
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In the land of silicon, I referred to myself as a "wafer bitch"...
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Old 10-08-2013, 12:50 PM   #71
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Hmmm - not to rush but I got married to a young widow woman(66) at age 70 this month. In a previous life I spend 29 yrs with a divorced Catholic trying to burn the house down in New Orleans. Two packs of cigs a day got her(emphysema) - I was a one pack person now finally smoke free( 8 yrs).

Heh heh heh - and yes we are on the pretty much the same wavelength romance and finance wise.
Congratulations unclemick! I hope you have many happy years together.
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Old 10-08-2013, 12:55 PM   #72
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Reading through these posts and all I can agree 100% with is kids from prior relationship DO always come first! I'm still getting used to that after 10 yes with DW...lol Her son is a pita! 27 yes old 3 kids and 4th in oven...no job etc. etc.
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Old 10-14-2013, 04:35 PM   #73
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Reading through these posts and all I can agree 100% with is kids from prior relationship DO always come first! I'm still getting used to that after 10 yes with DW...lol Her son is a pita! 27 yes old 3 kids and 4th in oven...no job etc. etc.
That is why my relationship 6 years strong is BF/GF, not husband/wife. Easier for the both of us for now. Always wondered if some people could understand using their free time to find a job instead of producing more kids may be a better use of time?
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Old 10-15-2013, 08:55 AM   #74
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Congratulations Uncle Mick !
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Old 10-23-2013, 09:39 AM   #75
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I agree with many others who said that the attitude about money and finances is what is important and needs to be compatible. My first husband was a spender; that didn't last.

When I met my now-husband, he was 31, five years younger than me, and was working to get out of some credit card debt and student loans. But, his mind-set was that he wanted to be able to save and work toward FIRE. Over the last 8 years, all of his debt was paid off, he started maxing out his 401(k), etc, and we've discussed many times our financial goals. Even though I am the one contributing most of the money toward the goals, he is on board with our budget and stuff. I got married last month, at the age of 44.

At 30, you are still very young, and have your whole life ahead of you. You have plenty of time to meet someone who meets your "criteria".
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Old 10-23-2013, 11:00 AM   #76
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I know the OP was talking about financial compatibility, but I could not help thinking of this 1966 hit by Neil Diamond, who has not been mentioned on this forum as I know.

Solitary Man

Don't know that I will
But until I can find me
A girl who'll stay
And won't play games behind me
Then I'll be what I am
A solitary man
Solitary man

By the way, the OP made one post then has not been heard from. Has he found the right woman, and eloped?

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Old 11-29-2013, 02:17 PM   #77
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It would be a good idea to do some self-exploration to understand why you only seem to be attracted to women who have the exact opposite qualities to what you seek. IMO financial responsibility goes hand-in-hand with good life planning; it may be that you are attracted to spontaneous, impulsive women vs. more thoughtful planner-types.

Do you discuss finances early in the relationship? I am not saying you need to ask for net worth statement on the first date, but the topic should be discussed before a relationship becomes serious, and I don't think you should be waiting 'months' before discovering someone has credit card debt, etc.

It can be a touchy subject to discuss early on but I've found that if you start on the first few dates by discussing financial news when the conversation topic turns to current events, you can get a sense of how much a person pays attention to personal finance. It can be generic, e.g. 'I read an article about the pros and cons of Roth IRAs vs. regular IRAs...what do you think about that?' If their answer is 'who's IRA' that should tell you a lot right there.
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Old 11-29-2013, 03:35 PM   #78
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It can be a touchy subject to discuss early on but I've found that if you start on the first few dates by discussing financial news when the conversation topic turns to current events, you can get a sense of how much a person pays attention to personal finance. It can be generic, e.g. 'I read an article about the pros and cons of Roth IRAs vs. regular IRAs...what do you think about that?' If their answer is 'who's IRA' that should tell you a lot right there.
This would certainly be a way to be sure that your dates would be deadly serious. Certainly if a woman had started this sort of conversation with me early on I have figured she was nuts or at least boring.

Of course I have never seen the point in a full on search for a mate, unless you can't find dates or you cannot support yourself and you somehow think this person who you are on the second date with might support you.

Ha
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Old 11-29-2013, 04:11 PM   #79
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This would certainly be a way to be sure that your dates would be deadly serious. Certainly if a woman had started this sort of conversation with me early on I have figured she was nuts or at least boring.

Of course I have never seen the point in a full on search for a mate, unless you can't find dates or you cannot support yourself and you somehow think this person who you are on the second date with might support you.

Ha
I'll assume you mean 'you' generically but in case you didn't, to be clear, I never said I needed or wanted anyone to support me, nor that I am on a full on search for a mate. I am quite capable of supporting myself, but I have no desire to support anyone else.

The point of dating would be to get to know someone, and to me that means getting to know what a person's core values are. I don't think that makes me nuts or boring, nor would I think any man who brought up financial news in a conversation is nuts or boring. I simply don't want to waste my time or energy (or the other person's) on a relationship that is not aligned with my needs. I am a planner in life and I would want that in a partner.
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Old 11-29-2013, 05:45 PM   #80
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I'll assume you mean 'you' generically but in case you didn't, to be clear, I never said I needed or wanted anyone to support me, nor that I am on a full on search for a mate. I am quite capable of supporting myself, but I have no desire to support anyone else. The point of dating would be to get to know someone, and to me that means getting to know what a person's core values are. I don't think that makes me nuts or boring, nor would I think any man who brought up financial news in a conversation is nuts or boring. I simply don't want to waste my time or energy (or the other person's) on a relationship that is not aligned with my needs. I am a planner in life and I would want that in a partner.
+1

I have a daughter who shares your views on finding a mate.
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