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Re: Help for my sister
Old 08-29-2006, 10:45 AM   #21
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Re: Help for my sister

Note that I don't wholeheartedly recommend Straight Talk. It's slightly too technical for real dummies. Also, someone might say "Oh, of course he recommends low-cost no-load funds, since he's the head of Vanguard."
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 08-29-2006, 10:49 AM   #22
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Re: Help for my sister

"Don't give advice -- the wise don't need it and the fools don't heed it."

Forgot where I heard that one.

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Re: Help for my sister
Old 08-30-2006, 07:38 AM   #23
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Re: Help for my sister

Scuba - I understand you want to help. My parents, who retired at 57 (they are now 70), saved all of their lives and won't run out of money if they live to 150.

My mother's sister, who is 74, and her husband (somewhere in his 60s, it's a second marriage), both still work, and will have to keep doing so. They live in a depressed area, so jobs aren't plentiful, and they don't make a lot. But, despite their meager incomes, they always seem to have the latest electronic gadgets and a new car every few years.

A few years ago, my parents started giving them money every Christmas ($10K). My aunt doesn't ask for it, but she doesn't do much to stop the spending either, and my parents, at this stage in life, would rather help than nag (they've had many money discussions over time). Once they get older and can't work, they'll have to rely on the gov't, as I don't think my parents intend to increase their contributions.

Sometimes you just have to accept a situation and realize that you can only do so much, and you shouldn't feel guilty if you can't do anything at all. They are adults and must face the consequences of their behaviors.

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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-05-2006, 08:18 PM   #24
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Re: Help for my sister

People say its too late but whats the alternative ?
They will have to modify there life style eventually why not start today ?
They may not save/accumulate much but whatever they do it can only help.
I would also look at their insurance issues. Since they havent done any other planning i would bet that they dont have the right (or enuff) insurance on their home.
She can look at working for a county hospital that would have some sort of pension plan.
He might also look into something at the hopsital not sure how well the satelite biz would pay anyway
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-05-2006, 08:40 PM   #25
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Re: Help for my sister

I know someone similar, late 40's, recent widow, low paying job(his was much higher). She went thru close to 100k in the past 18 monthes-money from his retirement account, a small inheritance she got and $$ from SS as they classified him disabled for about 10 monthes. Needless to say no saving, lots of credit card debit.

She is now losing the house(she did get it sold, so at least it didn't go to foreclosure) , is going to a rental, still buying junk like crazy.
It makes me sad, but like Al T said, she would be mad if I tried to talk to her-heck, sometimes I think she is mad just by my non buying presence when she is loading up the cart at Target or Walmart! :

On the other hand, my Mom never had much and lived quite creatively on SS and a small(less then $500/mo) pension. So sometimes I think perhaps I am the one doing this all wrong.

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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-05-2006, 08:54 PM   #26
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Re: Help for my sister

After losing the house maybe she would be more receptive to some help ?
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-06-2006, 05:18 PM   #27
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Re: Help for my sister

One can only hope.* : At least she has potentially more time til 65 than some of the other stories on this thread. It is hard to see someone(and there are lots of people out there) selling themselves for little junky trinkets.
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-06-2006, 06:44 PM   #28
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Re: Help for my sister

The junk-buying just stuns me sometimes. It is sad because it seems like the people who can afford it the least do it the most.

We were in Big Lots this weekend. We got a desk chair for $17 and two cases of bottled water for $3.99 each - but the place was filled with people loading up on cheap decorative knick-nacks and junk food....

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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-06-2006, 07:38 PM   #29
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Re: Help for my sister

Somewhere I read it defined as "the senseless desire to acquire". That has stuck with me. I have friends, and I am sure most of us do, who go to walmart or target or one of the big box stores and buy a cart load at least once a week. I think often they never even wear or use the item one time and yet they are willing to trade their life energy for it.

There used to be a song on a PBS children's program with lyrics "don't bring it home home home Don't bring it home, the garage is full and the closets are bursting at their seams...." More people should be singing that song to themselves as they are walking thru the store. Or better yet, stop going to the store entirely unless you really need something. : Lots of people I know tho, have no other "hobby" than shopping.
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-07-2006, 02:38 AM   #30
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Re: Help for my sister

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheryl
but the place was filled with people loading up on cheap decorative knick-nacks and junk food....*
Gosh, they're just trying to have themselves a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hallowe'en...
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-07-2006, 05:12 AM   #31
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Re: Help for my sister

Quote:
PBS children's program with lyrics "don't bring it home home home Don't bring it home, the garage is full and the closets are bursting at their seams...."
Damn commies!*

Andy, I think growing up we did an awful lot of shopping like that.. My mom still does to some extent (but she can afford it). I think it was a way of passing the time, killing boredom.. fun for a while but pretty sickening looking back on it.* Christmas and Hallowe'en were fun when they were in December and October, respectively. I expect when I come to the States next week the Hallowe'en crap will already be out.. and I like how recently they don't even give a breather for Thanksgiving; they go right into Xmas merchandising at the beginning of November.

It definitely does give a sense of "power" to load up on things.. There's our natural hoarding instinct.. but a nice bank account is more abstract than a nice house full of nice "stuff". It's not really rational.
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-07-2006, 11:25 AM   #32
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Re: Help for my sister

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Damn commies!*
Big Bird and Barney the Purple Dinosaur are on their way over to have a word with you...
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-07-2006, 11:37 AM   #33
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Re: Help for my sister

My mom was one of those people for whom shopping was the only hobby. My dad developed a little song he would sing, the chorus was, "How high the pile?"

It made her happy to have big piles of gifts at Christmas, but it overwhelmed us to try to figure out what to do with all the stuff.
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-07-2006, 11:59 AM   #34
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Re: Help for my sister

Sheryl,
I meant to tell you that I printed out your little saying when you wrote about your mom and dad in the thread on money influences.
It is taped along with other inspirational words from others on this forum, notably Cute Fuzzy Bunny and Brewer, on the wall nearest my computer at home. I never said thanks, but that is a great little piece of verse!
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-09-2006, 03:12 PM   #35
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Re: Help for my sister

Glad you found it useful, I'm sure dad would be too!
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-10-2006, 05:43 AM   #36
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Re: Help for my sister

For folks that don't get the philosophy at all, I enjoyed "Richest Man in Babylon" ... might seem a bit childish, but is an easy read, and makes the philosophical point. Found out about it here.
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-11-2006, 09:26 AM   #37
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Re: Help for my sister

Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl
Concerning people who don't move their money even when they realize they are paying high and unnecessary fees to a financial planner: I think that often they have formed a personal relationship with the planner, and although they don't admit it, they are too embarassed to move their money. *Instead they rationalize their choice.
That's true to some extent. Keep in mind what I have said all along.............outside of THIS board, and a couple others, most people don't want to deal with learning about their own finances...........they would rather "transfer responsibility" to another party.

Anyone with an some basic education can learn enough to manage things themselves. I am the first one to tell them they don't need me..........even if they want to work with me...........it's a waste of their money and my time.
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-11-2006, 05:29 PM   #38
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Re: Help for my sister

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That's true to some extent.* Keep in mind what I have said all along.............outside of THIS board, and a couple others, most people don't want to deal with learning about their own finances...........they would rather "transfer responsibility" to another party.*

Anyone with an some basic education can learn enough to manage things themselves.* I am the first one to tell them they don't need me..........even if they want to work with me...........it's a waste of their money and my time.
And I think they want us to believe that. If we knew how easy it was, they would be out of a job.
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-22-2006, 10:02 AM   #39
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Re: Help for my sister

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy
And I think they want us to believe that.* If we knew how easy it was, they would be out of a job.* *
Well, you are partially right............it is easy to learn, but MOST people want to "blame others", be it a financial advisor, insurance guy, bank guy, etc................
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Re: Help for my sister
Old 09-22-2006, 12:34 PM   #40
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Re: Help for my sister

Quote:
Originally Posted by FinanceDude
Well, you are partially right............it is easy to learn, but MOST people want to "blame others", be it a financial advisor, insurance guy, bank guy, etc................
Yes, I think you are right. OP How are things going with your sister? Did you do anything different?
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