Help for my sister

[spideyrdpd]

After losing the house maybe she would be more receptive to some help ?

 

[Andy]

One can only hope.  : At least she has potentially more time til 65 than some of the other stories on this thread. It is hard to see someone(and there are lots of people out there) selling themselves for little junky trinkets.

 

[Sheryl]

The junk-buying just stuns me sometimes. It is sad because it seems like the people who can afford it the least do it the most.

We were in Big Lots this weekend. We got a desk chair for $17 and two cases of bottled water for $3.99 each - but the place was filled with people loading up on cheap decorative knick-nacks and junk food....

 

[Andy]

Somewhere I read it defined as "the senseless desire to acquire". That has stuck with me. I have friends, and I am sure most of us do, who go to walmart or target or one of the big box stores and buy a cart load at least once a week. I think often they never even wear or use the item one time and yet they are willing to trade their life energy for it.

There used to be a song on a PBS children's program with lyrics "don't bring it home home home Don't bring it home, the garage is full and the closets are bursting at their seams...." More people should be singing that song to themselves as they are walking thru the store. Or better yet, stop going to the store entirely unless you really need something. : Lots of people I know tho, have no other "hobby" than shopping.

 

[Nords]

but the place was filled with people loading up on cheap decorative knick-nacks and junk food.... 

Gosh, they're just trying to have themselves a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hallowe'en...

 

[ladelfina]

PBS children's program with lyrics "don't bring it home home home Don't bring it home, the garage is full and the closets are bursting at their seams...."

Damn commies! 

Andy, I think growing up we did an awful lot of shopping like that.. My mom still does to some extent (but she can afford it). I think it was a way of passing the time, killing boredom.. fun for a while but pretty sickening looking back on it.  Christmas and Hallowe'en were fun when they were in December and October, respectively. I expect when I come to the States next week the Hallowe'en crap will already be out.. and I like how recently they don't even give a breather for Thanksgiving; they go right into Xmas merchandising at the beginning of November.

It definitely does give a sense of "power" to load up on things.. There's our natural hoarding instinct.. but a nice bank account is more abstract than a nice house full of nice "stuff". It's not really rational.

 

[Nords]

Damn commies! 

Big Bird and Barney the Purple Dinosaur are on their way over to have a word with you...

 

[Sheryl]

My mom was one of those people for whom shopping was the only hobby. My dad developed a little song he would sing, the chorus was, "How high the pile?"

It made her happy to have big piles of gifts at Christmas, but it overwhelmed us to try to figure out what to do with all the stuff.

 

[Sarah in SC]

Sheryl,
I meant to tell you that I printed out your little saying when you wrote about your mom and dad in the thread on money influences.
It is taped along with other inspirational words from others on this forum, notably Cute Fuzzy Bunny and Brewer, on the wall nearest my computer at home. I never said thanks, but that is a great little piece of verse!
Sarah

 

[Sheryl]

Glad you found it useful, I'm sure dad would be too!

 

[Craig]

For folks that don't get the philosophy at all, I enjoyed "Richest Man in Babylon" ... might seem a bit childish, but is an easy read, and makes the philosophical point. Found out about it here.

 

[FinanceDude]

Concerning people who don't move their money even when they realize they are paying high and unnecessary fees to a financial planner: I think that often they have formed a personal relationship with the planner, and although they don't admit it, they are too embarassed to move their money.  Instead they rationalize their choice.

That's true to some extent. Keep in mind what I have said all along.............outside of THIS board, and a couple others, most people don't want to deal with learning about their own finances...........they would rather "transfer responsibility" to another party.

Anyone with an some basic education can learn enough to manage things themselves. I am the first one to tell them they don't need me..........even if they want to work with me...........it's a waste of their money and my time.

 

[Andy]

That's true to some extent.  Keep in mind what I have said all along.............outside of THIS board, and a couple others, most people don't want to deal with learning about their own finances...........they would rather "transfer responsibility" to another party. 

Anyone with an some basic education can learn enough to manage things themselves.  I am the first one to tell them they don't need me..........even if they want to work with me...........it's a waste of their money and my time.

And I think they want us to believe that. If we knew how easy it was, they would be out of a job.

 

[FinanceDude]

And I think they want us to believe that.  If we knew how easy it was, they would be out of a job.   

Well, you are partially right............it is easy to learn, but MOST people want to "blame others", be it a financial advisor, insurance guy, bank guy, etc................

 

[Andy]

Well, you are partially right............it is easy to learn, but MOST people want to "blame others", be it a financial advisor, insurance guy, bank guy, etc................

Yes, I think you are right. OP How are things going with your sister? Did you do anything different?

 

[bbuzzard]

Her response was... well, I would have zero if it wasn't for the guy who came around and pestered me into starting to put money in the system... so, I know it is high fee, but I would have nothing for him... she does plan on moving the money, but has been slow in doing so...

My wife's grandmother put about $100,000 in CDs at a bank in 1976 when she sold her business. 28 years later, when she died, she had about $250,000 (she never spent any of the interest, just kept "reinvesting" it). We gently tried to get her to move it, but she was loyal to the bank (now owned by someone else) because they loaned her the money to start up the business in 1932!

I estimated she would have died with about $1,4000,000 if she had invested in an S&P index fund. OTOH, it made her happy and she felt secure with what she understood.

 

[shorttimer]

I also have the same situation. The funny thing is that my sibling in the most trouble attributes much of his money problems to luck. While they spend tons of money eating out, buying junk and trading cars every couple of years, he thinks people are lucky to have no mortgage, while many have no mortgage because of not eating out, staying out of stores and driving cheaper cars longer. They have also declared bankruptcy twice, believe it or not. I think there is a mindset that is very difficult to penetrate.

If someone does not ask for help, they do not want it. However, we have been asked for money help by the sibling named above. We were able to tell him that due to changes in DH company, we were in danger of losing the only pension we have and it was too risky for us. He accepted that, but I anticipate we will get more requests in the future. I think if he got $50,000 tomorrow he would piddle it away instead of paying off debt or putting it in the bank.

 

[bongo2]

Sheryl,
I meant to tell you that I printed out your little saying when you wrote about your mom and dad in the thread on money influences. 
It is taped along with other inspirational words from others on this forum, notably Cute Fuzzy Bunny and Brewer, on the wall nearest my computer at home.  I never said thanks, but that is a great little piece of verse!
Sarah

mclesters, you should start a thread with your favorite inspirational words from the forum. I'd be very interested in what you've collected!

 

[HFWR]

A veritable suppository of wisdom...

 

[Mr._johngalt]

A veritable suppository of wisdom...

How did I get into this thread?

JG

 

[Andy]

I also have the same situation. The funny thing is that my sibling in the most trouble attributes much of his money problems to luck.  While they spend tons of money eating out, buying junk and trading cars every couple of years, he thinks people are lucky to have no mortgage, while many have no mortgage because of not eating out, staying out of stores and driving cheaper cars longer. They have also declared bankruptcy twice, believe it or not.  I think there is a mindset that is very difficult to penetrate.

Boy, isn't that the truth!

[Moderator edit: quote formatting.]

 

[mjarzoms]

This is a problem we will all continue to see as corporations shift all retirement responsibility to unwilling employees and governments can afford to provide only a safety net and minimal assistance.

I expect any advice you give will not be listened to and may cause ill feelings. Good luck with this one, "Your Money or Your Life" is a great book but I doubt it could cause any shift in beliefs at this point.

 

[excellent]

The corporate world is 100% sure to not teach those most in need of investing advice. They want people to spend till they die, not save till they retire. If you don't talk to your relatives who are near the supposed retirement age, who else will. I mean, if you have the guts to talk to those close to you about their financial situation, then all the more power to you. I only recently came to the discovery that almost all Americans I meet have no idea how or what they are putting away for retirement, or that they even needed to at all. It's really sad. I mean, the book automatic millionaire could be summed up in like 10 lines, and if everyone in America really understood those lines they'd all be better off and more financial secure later in life. Situations like this are exactly why I want to catch clients early in life before it's too late or the financial situation becomes too dire, because everyone needs advice and honestly most FA's ARE probably going to saddle clients with insane load funds or unnessary fees. The importance of what I am trying to do (build a sales team of intelligent, caring FA's who share the same vision as me) was only further highlighted when a friend of mine went to his accounting/management class and the teacher took a whole day to explain why it is so important to save early. My friend is also in WFG, and he says that he gained a lot of respect for the teacher and our mission because it made him further realize how priveledged to have learned this knowledge from our parents and such, and that 99% of people aren't going to ever sit in on a class like that, or that noone is going to care for their students and take an entire lecture out to help the students in a meaningful way like that. But seriously though, the more people you are persistent with in conveying the bigger picture of why it's important to save the better... it's a conversation you can be proud you initiated. Iunno, I'll stop rambling now.

 

[FinanceDude]

I admire your passion.............

Unsure how WFG fits the bill to achieve that............

As you learn more, let us know.........

 

[excellent]

I see it as... say...
ok... let's see... a good parallel... hm...
ALRIGHT!
Ok so let's say you're way into politics right, and want to get the word out about your chosen party or maybe a bill or something that's being voted on. Alright, well you want to devote a large portion of your time doing so... but let's say you're not financially independent and/or can't feed yourself without a job. Well, there's things like contributions to the parties in question going towards funds that are then used to pay people like the aforementioned person to tell people about their party or movement of choice. So... I guess how wfg fits into it... well it's my own inroad into the financial world, and it seems like a good place to get started at a rapid pace and get involved with clients right away, as well as training my own team of advisors who can share in my goals. Also since um... well... everyone that does something for society usually gets paid, advisors have to get paid in some way so they can eat food and stuff, not in any means excessively compensated or anything, which isn't my goal of course. Um... I don't know... it just seems like a good place to start my career in the world since I don't really have prior direction in any sort of field that requires previous expertise, and I have no idea how this relates to the thread, I'm just trying to answer your question using a really non-connected analogy.

Hopefully people can listen!!! But yes, habits are hard to break... very hard to take someone else's advice seriously when you've been doing something for decades or a lifetime. Keep trying!