How to cope with bad work situation?

[Notmuchlonger]

Especially when half of the fellow men in the immediate cubecinity are troglodytes I despise.

Hum your favorite song when things get bad. Like the Sound of Music has been playing lately..


Or one of my favorites.


YouTube - Safety Dance- Men Without Hats

 

[ChrisC]

The world Brewer lives in is very very small, Chris. I think he would have an extremely hard time finding another workplace in his industry should he raise a big stink at this one. That is reality.

There is no dearth of courage in keeping your head down, collecting your paycheck, and taking care of your family. That is Brewer's first and truest obligation--the one he has to his family, not to come trumpeting in on a white horse to save his fellow man in the next cubicle.

Sarah, I live in a very small world too and I was once blacklisted very early in my career in finding other employment simply on the basis of the perception that I was a troublemaker. I'm not suggesting anyone make trouble, become some "hero," begin arming himself against a bunch of windmills in the path, or place his family at risk.

All I suggest is that people be stand-up guys about stuff when confronted with an issue. You don't have to be a crusader to do that! Balancing integrity in the workplace can be hard, but I personally have not seen it as a major risk to tell the truth, stick to the truth, and not shape the truth by opinion. And I've seen some crazy things in the workplace, and retaliatory conduct that was so unbelievable you'd think I was making the stuff up!

If you have to distort the truth about an issue, which some have indicated they have done, well it's time to look for another job, in my humble opinion.

 

[brewer12345]

Mostly I just kept my mouth shut, for the record.

The thing that alarms me is the suggestion of a half day love fest with everyone involved. Will be sitting quietly in the corner if forced to participate.

 

[kumquat]

Good idea, but pretend to be cooperative. The rest of upper management knows when a jerk is loose. If they don't reign him in without whining, how will whining help?

 

[Amethyst]

Mostly I just kept my mouth shut, for the record.

The thing that alarms me is the suggestion of a half day love fest with everyone involved. Will be sitting quietly in the corner if forced to participate.

Wow, the wind really is up somebody's nose, if they're spending the $$ to have everyone stop work in order to hold a group grope.

These remind me of the mandatory "I Love Big Brother" sessions at the Ministry of Truth.

But this isn't 1984, so with any luck, the worst that can happen is you will have to put up with being MBTI'd with your colleagues. Again.

Amethyst

 

[JohnDoe]

This is how office shootings start.

 

[freebird5825]

Mostly I just kept my mouth shut, for the record.

The thing that alarms me is the suggestion of a half day love fest with everyone involved. Will be sitting quietly in the corner if forced to participate.

The listener always has the advantage.
I think you are playing this hand perfectly.

 

[brewer12345]

This is how office shootings start.

I suppose so. In this case, that sort of thing is mitigated by the security gambit you run through to get in the building, the background checks everyone goes through, and the armed police officers (most of whom are marksmen) running around the place.

 

[brewer12345]

The listener always has the advantage.
I think you are playing this hand perfectly.

I sure hope so. I know for a fact that they essentially cannot afford to lose me, so I have a certain measure of protection. I dropped some hints that I was fully prepared to walk if I was too unhappy, expressing the view that as a subordinate my role is to get the job done, salute what gets run up the flagpole, and that if I did not like it I knew where the door was. The recent departure of another person who appears to have lots of FU money has thrown a serious wrench in the works, and that may have caused to hit the panic button.

As an aside, I really appreciate the thoughts, advice and support here. It helps to vent and get independent views, and DW gets too stressed listening to me. This is the sort of thing I will not miss when I get to FIRE.

 

[vicente solano]

Always liked Kennedy´s "Don´t ger mad, get even". Problem is that I´ve never been gutsy enough

 

[haha]

Always liked Kennedy´s "Don´t ger mad, get even". Problem is that I´ve never been gutsy enough

Well the Irish have perfected that one over the centuries. So old Joe had good teachers.

Ha

 

[freebird5825]

I sure hope so. I know for a fact that they essentially cannot afford to lose me, so I have a certain measure of protection. I dropped some hints that I was fully prepared to walk if I was too unhappy, expressing the view that as a subordinate my role is to get the job done, salute what gets run up the flagpole, and that if I did not like it I knew where the door was. The recent departure of another person who appears to have lots of FU money has thrown a serious wrench in the works, and that may have caused to hit the panic button.

As an aside, I really appreciate the thoughts, advice and support here. It helps to vent and get independent views, and DW gets too stressed listening to me. This is the sort of thing I will not miss when I get to FIRE.

In advocating a listening stance, I do not mean a submissive or non- participating role. A measured response always w*rked for me.
I actually used simple logic..if p then q...and mentally rehearsed...i.e. if such-and-such was said to me, then my best response(s) be.
By counting to yourself silently, one 1000, two 1000, three 1000...before responding...you can control the tempo of any difficult Q&A sessions or tense meetings.
In my experience, the "hot under the collar" talkers are usually the ones who make statements they later regret.
I personally was under a lot of unfriendly fire in my former j*b, and I found that the less I said, the less the predators had to w*rk with in attack mode. Button pushers thrive on the heated response to provocative statements. So I simply denied them the response they craved.
This technique w*rked very well for me over 25 years of dealing with an extremely unreasonable exMIL in my personal life as well as aggressive power brokers who viewed me as a threat in the w*rkplace.

You can get through this.

 

[brewer12345]

Largely agree, freebird. Having said that, in my current and several past jobs I frequently have to interview/interrogate (in non-friendly conversations) senior management of some very large organizations. These people are used to everything that can be thrown at them and some are quite aggressive, but I have a lot of experience with this sort of verbal fencing and can usually get what I want out of the discussion without tipping my hand too much. That experience has been valuable lately...

 

[harley]

I think if you have the annoy-a-tron overnighted to you you should be able to place it on Monday. Then when the annoyees complain you can make a claim that the noise must be related to the New Year/decade cutover. That should send them in the wrong direction resolution-wise. Eventually they will P.O. the BOFH (The SysAdmin From Hell), resulting in a ton of abuse not directly attributable to you. Happy New Year!

 

[vicente solano]

Our company had for many years a real tyrant as a director. Everybody was afraid of him. He imposed himself on several subordinates in order to play with them at tennis, golf, soccer on the weekends. Everybody let him win.
After having socialized with them on the weekend he, nevertheless, chewed them off on Monday....
Well, we are all retired now, him too. I would have thoght that his ex-subordinates would turn their back on him or, otherwise, shun or steer away from him....But no. Many of them continue to be submissive and suffer his heavy-handedness.
And the effect on the tyrant as regards those few who now can afford to ignore him? None, he couldn´t care less.
I bet that a lot of his mistreated subordinates will attend his funeral.
Such is the nature of people.
I´m sure I´m wrong, but sometimes I think we get the bosses we deserve or that the only way to teach them an effective lesson is to behave towards them in the same way.

 

[RonBoyd]

I would have thoght that his ex-subordinates would turn their back on him or, otherwise, shun or steer away from him....But no. Many of them continue to be submissive and suffer his heavy-handedness.

PTSD?

 

[HFWR]

PTSD?

I suspect my reaction to post-stress will be a large smile...

 

[brewer12345]

Well, all signs are that the hammer will be dropped very soon, based on frenzied manager meetings and some inside dope. I do not think that the culture will result in an outright witch hunt, and this is clearly more about checking the box than solving problems. But not much comfort there...

 

[W2R]

Well, all signs are that the hammer will be dropped very soon, based on frenzied manager meetings and some inside dope. I do not think that the culture will result in an outright witch hunt, and this is clearly more about checking the box than solving problems. But not much comfort there...

Well, just hang in there, grit your teeth, and pretty soon it will all be over. (I'm sure you and other men hear the same from your proctologists all the time. ) At least you are not in the direct line of fire.

 

[brewer12345]

Well, just hang in there, grit your teeth, and pretty soon it will all be over. (I'm sure you and other men hear the same from your proctologists all the time. ) At least you are not in the direct line of fire.

I am not entirely sure that is the case... Will find out soon.

 

[BunsGettingFirm]

s

Our company had for many years a real tyrant as a director. Everybody was afraid of him. He imposed himself on several subordinates in order to play with them at tennis, golf, soccer on the weekends. Everybody let him win.
After having socialized with them on the weekend he, nevertheless, chewed them off on Monday....
Well, we are all retired now, him too. I would have thoght that his ex-subordinates would turn their back on him or, otherwise, shun or steer away from him....But no. Many of them continue to be submissive and suffer his heavy-handedness.
And the effect on the tyrant as regards those few who now can afford to ignore him? None, he couldn´t care less.
I bet that a lot of his mistreated subordinates will attend his funeral.
Such is the nature of people.
I´m sure I´m wrong, but sometimes I think we get the bosses we deserve or that the only way to teach them an effective lesson is to behave towards them in the same way.

These people deserve the bosses that they get. My dad is like this guy you described not just to the kids to anyone he considers his subordinate. He used to drag his technicians to our house on weekends to help him dig ditches for his vegetable garden. Man, talk about stepping over the line.

I, of course, played the perfect son and got a smaller fan blast of his horrendous sh1t, but the first chance I got, I ex-communicated him. LOL. I do the same with the select few idiots I have worked for and with. I do the minimum necessary and put up a civil face, but the first chance I get to never to talk to them again, I won't ever talk to them again.

 

[DangerMouse]

Good thoughts coming your way Brewer, hope this situation works out the best for you and your coworkers who have to put up with the egotist. Will be interesting to see if management are able to grow a set to enable them to deal with the real issue or whether they will just reallocate it elsewhere.

 

[brewer12345]

Well, latest intelligence is that the uber bosses have been debriefed by HR and it was "very informative." Apparently they will expand the interviews from a subset to the whole group, and after that probably have a group kumbaya session and some minor operational tweaks.

They clearly have no intention of fixing the problem, as I expected from the start. In the fine traditions of the organization, it appears they are spreading the blame as thinly as possible. Likely I will be forced to attend an airing of grievances (which is beneath my dignity) and be put on assignments with people I hate. OTOH, I appear to be in no immediate jeopardy. Sadly, it is the best outcome I could reasonably have hoped for.

This does not change my ultimate game plan of watching for a new opportunity and getting out of the mess, tho.

 

[MichaelB]

The eye of the storm.

If senior mgm’t were truly interested it would be quite evident. Said differently, the only problem senior mgm’t wants to solve is the one that distracts people from working.

My experience - The HR folks to senior exec briefings have described “a problem” and two individuals are identified - the troublemaker and the helpful insider. After the dust settles the troublemaker is reassigned elsewhere and the helpful insider is pushed out. The troublemaker has skills the organization needs and just needs refocusing while the helpful insider is clearly not a team player and not to be trusted.

Not saying it's your situation Brewer, but I have seen this multiple times, and I think your gameplan is quite appropriate and you are executing well.

I always found the group kumbaya sessions to be good opportunities to catch up on less important stuff that never made it high enough on my pending stuff list. As for change of venue – it may work. Some luck involved. Still, skilled disciplined professionals seem to have better luck at this.

I have to admit that this thread has really brought back some memories...

 

[brewer12345]

What do you think of the kumbaya? I loathe these sorts of things and I don't think I could make myself play pattycake with the worst offenders. In fact, I would be heavily tempted to call in sick that day just to not to have to deal with it. What is the best way to use the event, or can I get away with just keeping my mouth shut?