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How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-14-2005, 12:48 PM   #1
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How to dodge the draft?

I suspect this is going to be like lighting an M-80 that has been shoved into a pile of dogsh!t, but I thought I'd ask anyway. *So here goes:

In the event that they start up the draft again and one hypothetically didn't want to go, how would one go about dodging the draft? *Pack your bags for Canada, or has that been shut off? *Some other option?




For those curious, when you light the above-referenced firecracker, you can turn and get about three steps away before the damn thing goes off and spatters your back with bits of dogsh!t. *At least that's what my friend found out as a kid.
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-14-2005, 12:57 PM   #2
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

I think if you go into the recruiting office and say "hhheeeeyyyy! I think I'd like to join up! Does everything come in this drabby olive green or do you have some nice mauve pumps and a snappy chartreusse fanny pack that I could wear?" that they'll leave you alone after that.
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-14-2005, 01:54 PM   #3
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

Quote:
In the event that they start up the draft again and one hypothetically didn't want to go, how would one go about dodging the draft? *Pack your bags for Canada, or has that been shut off? *Some other option?

For those curious, when you light the above-referenced firecracker, you can turn and get about three steps away before the damn thing goes off and spatters your back with bits of dogsh!t. *At least that's what my friend found out as a kid.
Go back to school?

As for the M80, we would get a pile of slugs* together and blow them up... i'm betting it's a lot less painful for them than the salt shaker.


*If you don't know what a slug is-

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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-14-2005, 02:44 PM   #4
 
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

If you've got a lot of guts, you can always try to get into Canada.

If you're a chicken ****, and have some connections you can join the Texas Air National Guard.
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-14-2005, 02:56 PM   #5
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

The way I dodged the draft - went to work for Boeing - heh, heh - Washington State draft board. I had to nod,nod,wink,wink - promise not to enlist in the Air Force (on the waiting list) - security clearances cost money.

Unless you were a Republican (and well connected) the National Guard was out (1965/66).

The best way is to enlist - and try to beat the crowd.
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-14-2005, 02:59 PM   #6
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

I came in as the draft was going out, and my first comment about the draft is "Good riddance!" The military wants a draft about as much as you want to be drafted. When you attend your first anti-draft protest you'll be pressing shoulders with Don Rumsfeld, John McCain, and a host of flag officers.

Besides the military is much less manpower-intensive these days. Yes, Jarhead, there will always be a need for a fully-manned platoon able to put boots on the objective and I'm not claiming that will ever change, but the long tail of logistics & maintenance is a lot shorter and the ordnance can be delivered by a lot smaller crew.

But if the real question is "How do I avoid getting shot at?" one of the answers is "Join the Navy and stay out of airplanes/helicopters". It helps if you know how to swim (or at least float) first.

AFAIK, the Canadian & Mexican borders are still open. Australia, Thailand, and a host of other countries too. But how long do you expect your passport to stay valid? Better start studying up on citizenship requirements. Better line up a job, too, if your bank account gets frozen.

"Conscientious Objector" status has a number of legal requirements that have to be met before it's granted. In other words it'll sorely test the depth of your convictions (as will your subsequent duty in a VA ward). But you'd be following an honorable line of COs who have demonstrated more integrity & honesty than their warrior "brethren" who simply elected not to shoot back.

Medical training. The military needs a lot of medics and your fellow troopers will keep a very protective eye on your back. You're not required to carry a weapon into a combat zone, although for a lot of medics that attitude lasts about 30 seconds.

Homosexual conduct. But again you have to commit, not just profess. It probably requires more dedication than just serving your obligated time.

Drugs. You could start out with something "safe" like anabolic steroids or marijuana. But you also might end up sitting out your service obligation in a holding cell somewhere.

Physical defect. This is as simple as bad vision but it can be difficult to persuade the medical community that you're able to handle your life while simultaneously unable to give it for your country.

Get a deferral-- college, last living child, or some other loophole. There'll be a lot of them and they'll be well-publicized, but you'll have to act fast before the status change becomes subject to scrutiny!

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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-14-2005, 03:05 PM   #7
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

Nords -
So saying you engage in homosexual conduct, but your bad vision results in hitting on women by accident would be a two-fer?

Cut-throat -

ROFL. I'm still trying to figure out how a rich white collar yalie from maine ended up being perceived as a blue collar working class texan, myself. Nice spin.
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-14-2005, 03:16 PM   #8
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

Quote:
Nords -
So saying you engage in homosexual conduct, but your bad vision results in hitting on women by accident would be a two-fer?
They'd probably cancel each other out, but I'm sure that it's been tried.

One of my few military pleasures was attending the occasional "Legal Issues for Senior Officers" courses. It had the usual serious stuff about rules of engagement and law of the seas, but it was always entertaining to get the JAGs talking about their "interesting" drugs or sea-lawyer trials.
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-14-2005, 03:22 PM   #9
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

When I went to VietNam, my a high school mate shot himself in the foot. Really. Lost a couple of toes. I guess it worked! Of course, here it is 30+ years later and that foot is still shot. Hope it was worth it!
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-14-2005, 04:33 PM   #10
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

[quote]

Nords:
Well, if you live long enough, nothing surprises you.
A class in avoiding the draft from a fairly recent retired Naval Officer :)
Easy big guy, notice the smiley.
Different circumstances now, and conscription in todays climate would make no sense at all.
A good decision was made some time ago, by paying enough, along with a great retirement to attract the type of young guy that would consider the military as a career.
The Marine Corps. continues to serve a very usefull purpose for certain non career type youngsters.
One of the guys I occasionally fly-fish with, had a son age 18, that was 20-miles of bad road. (About 2 years ago). He was pretty much out of control, and I had a long conversation with him, and planted the seed about a tour in the Marine Corps.
His parents were very upset with me when he enlisted.
After he came home after 6 mos., they couldn't thank me enough. Absolutely what the doctor ordered.
Semper Fi
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-14-2005, 05:12 PM   #11
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

Quote:
If you've got a lot of guts, you can always try to get into Canada.

If you're a chicken ****, and have some connections you can join the Texas Air National Guard.
Maybe Bill Clinton could give a couple of pointers on how to avoid the draft.
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-14-2005, 07:22 PM   #12
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

At least he more or less admits he avoided it.
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-14-2005, 09:40 PM   #13
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

Quote:
Nords:
Well, if you live long enough, nothing surprises you.
A class in avoiding the draft from a fairly recent retired Naval Officer :)
Easy big guy, notice the smiley.
Hey, maybe I'm a credible source-- as far as he can tell!

No offense-- I used to teach my troops how to overeat, grow fat, and get discharged at the end of their service obligation. That generated some attention...

Of course I was also obligated to disclose that the intervening months would be turned into a living physical & administrative hell by their chain of command. Finally a couple of them took the hint and collectively shed about 50 pounds. I became a believer that if people understood all sides of the issue then they'd be capable of making the correct decision.

I'm not a big fan of the Selective Service Board. Four months after I joined the Navy I turned 18. A couple months after that I got a sternly-worded notice from the SSB admonishing me for my failure to register for the draft and sternly warning me of the dire consequences of my dereliction. OTOH I couldn't see the need to register for the draft if I'd already been chosen. It took months to straighten out the situation, and I can't have been the only teenager to have received one of those bureaucratic foulups.

I've always been extremely impressed by the Marine Corps' ability to teach teenagers how a little politeness can go a long way. Every submarine corpsman that I've ever served with started his career with the FMF and kept hoping to find a way to go back.

And TH, it doesn't surprise me that a Rhodes Scholar could figure out how to evade the draft...
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-15-2005, 03:35 AM   #14
 
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

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At least he more or less admits he avoided it.
Yeah, and "I didn't have sex with that women"
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-15-2005, 06:02 AM   #15
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

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Yeah, and "I didn't have sex with that women"
Playing hide the cigar is not sex, its foreplay.
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-15-2005, 06:25 AM   #16
 
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

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Playing hide the cigar is not sex, its foreplay.

You got it Bubba! You could have been on my Cabinet.
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-15-2005, 06:35 AM   #17
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

Jarhead

Glad to see some of the old stuff still works - late 50's, early 60's - I believe it took a juvy judge rec plus a written statement from a minister/priest that you had 'possible redeming qualities'. Had a lot of high school buddies went that way. Marines, Airborne, Navy, Air force - all the ones I knew got squared away.
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-15-2005, 10:05 AM   #18
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

Oh come on, watching Bill was like watching the old "batman" episodes.

He got into some jam every week, and came up with the most interesting ways to get out of them.

I mean, arguing the meaning of the word "is"? Priceless!

And just think, his declaration that oral sex is really not sex has led to some very pleasant experiences for a lot of high school students...

Besides, theres a difference between a married man telling a few tales about inhaling and blow jobs and a guy who misleads on his service record and whether or not a country has weapons of mass destruction because he's itching to start a war.

One results in a few hurt feelings. The other results in hundreds of thousands dead.

Dont even get me started...
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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-15-2005, 02:10 PM   #19
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

Quote:
Oh come on, watching Bill was like watching the old "batman" episodes.

He got into some jam every week, and came up with the most interesting ways to get out of them.

I mean, arguing the meaning of the word "is"? *Priceless!

And just think, his declaration that oral sex is really not sex has led to some very pleasant experiences for a lot of high school students...

Besides, theres a difference between a married man telling a few tales about inhaling and blow jobs and a guy who misleads on his service record and whether or not a country has weapons of mass destruction because he's itching to start a war.

One results in a few hurt feelings. *The other results in hundreds of thousands dead.

Dont even get me started...
Of course, getting a blowjob when you shudda been doing the country's business led to some very unpleasant experiences. It could be reasonably argued that 9/11 came about because of Big Bill's indifference to foreign affairs. I believe he had several occasions to nail Osama and because he was so legalistic, turned them down. And, he didn't wanna upset the Soccer Moms, don't you know. He will be relegated to the trash heap of history, once his spin masters are no longer around. Oh well, I made some money in the market during the late 90's bubble and survived the recession. The country has survived his presidency and with any luck will avoid Hillary's.

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Re: How to dodge the draft?
Old 02-15-2005, 03:05 PM   #20
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Re: How to dodge the draft?

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He will be relegated to the trash heap of history, once his spin masters are no longer around.
Then he does have something in common with W!
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