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How to find spouse who is compatible financially?
Old 04-19-2012, 02:43 PM   #1
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How to find spouse who is compatible financially?

I want to marry a saver like me but most Asian women like to live the materialistic life. Does anybody have any ideas where I can meet women who are more likely to save, invest, and want to retire early like me? I think those saver spender marriages will be hell when it comes to saving for retirement. I think its much easier when both people are on the same page.
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Old 04-19-2012, 02:45 PM   #2
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Start looking when you're in high school. Make saving and investing a background part of your life reserving most of your time and energy for living life. Worked for me.
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Old 04-19-2012, 02:51 PM   #3
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Does anybody have any ideas where I can meet women who are more likely to save, invest, and want to retire early like me?
You might want to check out a few widows at the local senior citizens center...
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Old 04-19-2012, 02:52 PM   #4
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I guess the best I can do is judge by their actions (ie. - what kind of car they drive, etc)
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Old 04-19-2012, 03:16 PM   #5
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Check the ladies out at thrift stores, financial seminars....

But seriously....financial compatibility can be important, but it's not everything. DH is the spender, I the saver. Through life we've enjoyed quality things and experiences...and have done well financially as we both retired early.

...and yeah, I know I'm an old fart...not a young dreamer as he and I have been together for 36 years.

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Old 04-19-2012, 03:20 PM   #6
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I think if you hide any appearance of having any wealth whatsoever yourself (don't drive an expensive car, wear expensive shoes, a nice watch, designer jeans), you'll see who still likes you.
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Old 04-19-2012, 03:29 PM   #7
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I want to marry a saver like me but most Asian women like to live the materialistic life. Does anybody have any ideas where I can meet women who are more likely to save, invest, and want to retire early like me? I think those saver spender marriages will be hell when it comes to saving for retirement. I think its much easier when both people are on the same page.

I guess the first question is where do you live If you live in Asia, then you probably will be looking at Asians...

Also, do not think that someone who not living the 'materialistic life' does not want to do so if they could... my wife seemed like she was frugal... but it was not her nature, but a requirement of her lower income and two kids.... after we got married, OH BOY... we had a lot of fights on how much she was spending... however, now that she has most of what she wants (like new furniture, not 25 years old... a nicer house, but not to expensive....) she has slowed down a lot... plus, she has gone back to school so she can get a job and bring in some money


One of the things that is hard for me to get past is her first husband died in his 40s.... her dad recently died in his mid 60s... she has the attitude that if we do not enjoy outselves now, we never will.... kind of hard to get past her experiences.... but she has changed over the years....
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Old 04-19-2012, 03:35 PM   #8
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I want to marry a saver like me but most Asian women like to live the materialistic life. Does anybody have any ideas where I can meet women who are more likely to save, invest, and want to retire early like me? I think those saver spender marriages will be hell when it comes to saving for retirement. I think its much easier when both people are on the same page.
How old are you? Do you want children? Do you feel a driving need to be married? If you can make it to 40 or so unmarried, you have a good chance of going all the way.

If a woman will try to slim down to catch a man, she will also alter other aspects of her behavior to get hitched. But then just like she gains 25 pounds after the wedding, she may start shopping a bit more freely too.

Men are the same. How many guys gain 25, 30 pounds after they are married? The excuse is home cooking. More likely true is that they no longer have to measure up physically to attract partners. Look to the incentives and everything become clear. All these things are hard- living cheaply, exercising, dieting. It is human nature to let the least pressing hard things slide.

I'd say if you don't plan children, forget about marriage.

Ha
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Old 04-19-2012, 04:03 PM   #9
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Cruise low cost bars and thrift shops.
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Old 04-19-2012, 04:42 PM   #10
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I think if you hide any appearance of having any wealth whatsoever yourself (don't drive an expensive car, wear expensive shoes, a nice watch, designer jeans), you'll see who still likes you.

+1

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Old 04-19-2012, 06:35 PM   #11
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Cruise low cost bars and thrift shops.
Great idea! Dragging that net will get you a down and out drunk, a no class floozie, or someone with bedbugs.

Ha
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Old 04-19-2012, 06:45 PM   #12
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Great idea! Dragging that net will get you a down and out drunk, a no class floozie, or someone with bedbugs.

Ha
Bedbugs?
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Old 04-19-2012, 06:51 PM   #13
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Costco?
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Old 04-19-2012, 06:59 PM   #14
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Bedbugs?
One day I pulled a dollar out of my pocket to give to an old gal who was selling Real Change on the corner. With it came a coupon for Value Village that I got when I donated some stuff. Seeing it she said- be careful, you have to treat their clothes at very high heat to kill the bedbugs. I figured that a woman who has lived on the street for several years knows more than a little about bedbugs. Not knowing the exact amount of heat needed to kill them, I figured since I have come this far in life without goods from Value Village, I can probably just strike that one off as another idea possibly good in theory, but with flaws in the real world. Kind of like making our own rakes.


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Old 04-19-2012, 07:08 PM   #15
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since you asked....

They have a book just for you:

Quote:
Money & Marriage: How to Choose a Financially Compatible Spouse
Available used (the book not the spouse) on Amazon for $0.01 plus shipping.

Amazon.com: Money & Marriage: How to Choose a Financially Compatible Spouse (9780913610770): Michael Sion: Books
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Old 04-19-2012, 07:23 PM   #16
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Look at what they are driving. A shiny new sportscar is a little scary. A beat up 20-year-old car that is reliable but needs body work is more encouraging.

Don't show any signs of wealth. Never mention travel or fine dining. Go to free places like museums or parks for dates. Talk about your philosophy regarding money and your dreams for the future.

And good luck!
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Old 04-19-2012, 08:21 PM   #17
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I thought Asians are predominantly savers (though I do agree that some are rather materialistic but isn't it the same with other nationalities?). I think introduction by friends will probably work for you since your friends would know what you require. You'll be surprised by the quality of partners from such source - my sister and her hubby were introduced by common friends.
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Old 04-19-2012, 08:24 PM   #18
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My husband met me in the workplace. We worked together on projects, and eventually found out all about one another. When you spend 8 hours on a Saturday cooped up in an office together, drafting and re-drafting reports, you end up talking about absolutely everything. I learned how much he was paying in child support, and he learned I was buying a house and how much I could afford to spend. I could tell how generous he was toward his daughter. He knew I put in for overtime every chance I got. We found out that we had the same attitude toward credit cards - great to have, but pay everything off every month. Plus, we could see that we both had strong work ethic. All this took place long before any dating did.

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I want to marry a saver like me but most Asian women like to live the materialistic life. Does anybody have any ideas where I can meet women who are more likely to save, invest, and want to retire early like me? I think those saver spender marriages will be hell when it comes to saving for retirement. I think its much easier when both people are on the same page.
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Old 04-19-2012, 11:00 PM   #19
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I'm also in a similar boat - trying to find a like-minded spouse, who shares a lot of values - including, but not limited to, fiscal attitudes.

I will admit that as the years go by, and as the portfolio grows larger, I do definitely find myself loosening the belt ever-so-slightly, and not being as adamant about pinching pennies as I used to (note: I'm not referring to pinching pennies on dates, as that has always been one area that I'm not afraid to 'invest' a bit of change.)

My source has been - and will likely remain - eharmony.com. There are many ways to meet someone, but I have found that it's relatively easier to find out a few things about someone just from a few basic questions and answers that you might not necessarily be able to figure out from meeting them randomly.

And I do remember being matched up with one woman who made a reference to retiring early! (unfortunately, I must have not been what she was looking for, as she never responded to my attempt to communicate with her.... ). There are ways to read a woman's profile to get a feel for whether she's a spendthrit or more sensible, but usually you need to at least talk on the phone a few times (and meet in person, preferably) to get a true sense for what her fiscal attitudes might be.
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Old 04-19-2012, 11:14 PM   #20
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Great idea! Dragging that net will get you a down and out drunk, a no class floozie, or someone with bedbugs.

Ha
Maybe all three in one sexy package.

Find an ex Peace Corps volunteer? They are plenty familiar with living on nothing and the Corps is highly selective. Of course you might have to look the other way re: "medical" MJ.
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