I don't know whether to be offended or more determined

[bssc]

You need to practice pointing to the left and yelling, "Look, its Elvis!!!" while making a quick escape.

[FIREd]

Quote:

Originally Posted by clifp Sorry cheap European shot... Well if I had a 35 hour work week and 8 or is 10 weeks of vacation a year, I'd probably keep working also!

LOL! Cheap shot? Yes. But so true...

[JDARNELL]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TromboneAl Interesting story. For us civvies, what is "watch my tracers mode" and what is a CINC house (cytokine-induced neutrophil chemoattractant?)?

Watch my tracers? Kind of like full steam ahead, damn the torpedos, I'll do it just to spite you etc. There are some more colorful examples that I will spare the readers.

Wife says it was the alcohol talking and to not think much about it.

The entire conversation topics were to in depth with friends. That is why I just sat there. Maybe I am a little touchy on this subject? I guess it might have been better recieved by me if someone could have laid out an articulate argument, and engaged in a thought provoking dialog. I just dialed it out and chose not to engage.

I really don't think there was any jealousy involved as we are basically all in the same socio economic class with some minor differences. We did have a great time as we always do when we are together. Just maybe not her subject area. Where as her husband and I can have deep economic discussions that challenge many ideas.

Someone mentioned get a new group of friends. I told the spouse today I needed to broaden my friend base in this area. But to be honest my peers/friends can't believe that I may be willing to walk away from a second career as govt civilian or contractor making good money. As many of the military folks on the board have told me the job offers will be there. They already are.

I guess I should start making a list of things to tell people when they ask what I do.

1. None of your business
2. Consultant
3. Portfolio Manager
4. Govt enhanced early retiree
5. Kept Man

At the end of the day I shouldn't care what people think, and deep down I don't think I do. I just need to be prepared if/when it happens again. Spouse is totally on board. Over the last year as we have been discussing she has made it clear that I have a kitchen pass to do whatever because she knows things will be taken care of. I even carry around a note she signed that says "Whatever he wants to do is fine." Talk about a get out of jail free card

[cute fuzzy bunny]

I just devolved into telling people I stay home, watch the little one and clean the house.

Then I watch them mark me down 20% internally.

Underestimated is exactly what I like being...

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomcat98 Watch my tracers? Kind of like full steam ahead, damn the torpedos, I'll do it just to spite you etc. There are some more colorful examples that I will spare the readers.

Clif, you know that tracers (flaming phosphorous or other chemical compounds) are in every third or fourth round of an ammo belt so that when you're shooting your wing guns you can see where the bullets are going, right?

Here, Tomcat, I'll get that other one before someone asks: "Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!" Admiral Farragut at the Battle of Mobile Bay when one of his staff expressed concern that the channel was full of torpedoes mined. Today it's what surface warriors say whenever someone wonders if there's a submarine in the area...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomcat98 Someone mentioned get a new group of friends. I told the spouse today I needed to broaden my friend base in this area. But to be honest my peers/friends can't believe that I may be willing to walk away from a second career as govt civilian or contractor making good money. As many of the military folks on the board have told me the job offers will be there. They already are.

Anyhow, welcome to the club.

Spouse & I were helping out at a reunion of USNA Class of '50 (I'm '82) and one of the spouses asked how we were available at 9 AM on a Monday. When I told her we were retired, she said "Oh my, you're too young to retire!" and I responded with "Uh-oh, I didn't know there was a minimum age." She came around after a couple hours, but it's probably a good thing that she and her spouse weren't still working.

After all those conversations you've had with that woman's husband, it's interesting that he didn't rise to your defense. Maybe he knows better than to challenge her assumptions. I hope that he's not working because it's easier than retiring with her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomcat98 At the end of the day I shouldn't care what people think, and deep down I don't think I do. I just need to be prepared if/when it happens again. Spouse is totally on board. Over the last year as we have been discussing she has made it clear that I have a kitchen pass to do whatever because she knows things will be taken care of. I even carry around a note she signed that says "Whatever he wants to do is fine." Talk about a get out of jail free card

You have to care what the right people think. Your kids will let you know that you're making the right choices, and you're probably going to be starting terminal leave just as they enter the "teen danger zone". Your spouse will be more than happy to let you deal with that time of their lives, which will probably make diapers look easy.

You should tell the woman that you're:
1. Retiring to take care of the kids while your spouse ramps up her career, or
2. You've always wanted to be an at-home parent sitting around all day watching TV & eating bonbons.

[cute fuzzy bunny]

That does it.

I'm buying stock in the company that makes bonbons.

[youbet]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomcat98 just need to be prepared if/when it happens again.

Why? You need to be prepared to dislodge food stuck in DW's throat if she's choking, you need to be prepared to brake as you approach a stop light, you need to be prepared to provide backup to the IRS if audited, etc. But you don't need to do anything about this but get over it.

People can be jerks for any number of reasons. The world is full of 'em. My wife had a professional career (teacher/college instructor) while, for some time, I was a blue collar hourly worker. At get-togethers with her work buddies, someone would invariably ask what I did for a living. I'd tell them I worked on a factory assembly line and they'd get a special, disgusted look on their face and make some comment trying to withdraw the question. I'd hold myself back from flattening their smug face, and................. let it go. After a while, I learned to consider the source, not take offense, and just go with the flow. And, after I learned to do that, I was better off for it. I use the same technique regarding FIRE. Although, admittedly, since I didn't RE until 58, there really haven't been too many questions or comments.

Anyway....... instead of practicing responses and getting yourself ready to poke 'em back, try just not giving a crap. If you can do it, it's the best scenario IMHO.

If you're the better person, and operating in the more favorable circumstances (and I think you are), you don't need to prove anything, win the argument or anything of the like.

Enjoy FIRE!

[Twinkle Toes]

Oops...my post was entered twice... see below.

[dumpster56]

After watching the tube today, with people spending silly amounts on TVs and other high end stuff no wonder most will never retire. Early? Nope not many.

I think she was just a talker, you know the type, the know it all. I wonder how much debt they carry. It feels so good to have no debt. It feels so good that I did ER at 50.

[Twinkle Toes]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomcat98 Has this ever happened to you and how did you deal with it? I am sure the critics will come out of the woodwork closer to my ER date. I am still stunned about this. Tomcat98

Yes, so many times you wouldn't believe it. We decided to call it quits at 49 in 1996...just couldn't stand any more "fun" in the corporate world. People at work didn't believe me when I said I was going to leave in May, then they asked me to stay until December when most of the contracts I managed terminated. I agreed, so there was a lot of time for questions such as is your hubby a lot older than you...no same age...is he retiring from the military...no...how will you live...on our assests. That part was a little funny. The response we got from others, even family, after we quit was not so funny. Lots of resentment.

My mom was happy for us, but MIL, FIL and BIL were embaressed at our state of unemployment and made snide remarks at every opportunity. Finally, we said this is enough and if you can't accept us for who we are, then we will just keep our distance. Took about two years of nothing but frosty holiday and special occasion "contact" before they decided to be nice. Things finally returned to normal or at least a new acceptable normal.

As for friends...some, maybe most, of that group changed...found other early retirees with common interests...not a bad group...and we don't usually discuss investment strategies...just have fun.

Strangers and acquaintances...just don't go there, especially if they are a lot older...resentment never seems to be more than surface deep and the more you discuss your situation, the closer to the surface it gets. It's a no win situation. Casually find an excuse to move on.

There is a a line from one of Jimmy Buffet's songs that says it all...breathe in, breathe out, move on.

[Jeb-NY]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kumquat If anyone suggests that I might have to w*rk in the future I ask if I can try my next carreer on them. When they say 'what', I say 'Welcome to Walmart, clothing for the seriously obese is in aisle 22'.

I may have to update my comment to people that question if my early retirement will really work. I already was telling them I had two backup plans. "Welcome to Walmart" and "Do you want fries with that"

Jeb

[W2R]

I mentioned at work that I plan to retire in two years, at age 61. That's not especially early!! But still, I got some skeptical comments. People wondered aloud how I could possibly afford to retire by then. The phone rang and I never had a chance to respond to those queries.

I think they are assuming that retirement means living on my present income, when in reality I plan to live on much less (as I have been doing all along, of course). I also think that they are curious about whether I inherited a fortune when my wealthy mother died earlier this year, or not. To them, that could be the only reason I can afford to retire in a couple of years and they can't.

In reality, I haven't seen a penny yet and my ER plans do not take any possible inheritance into account.

[JDARNELL]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nords After all those conversations you've had with that woman's husband, it's interesting that he didn't rise to your defense. Maybe he knows better than to challenge her assumptions. I hope that he's not working because it's easier than retiring with her. You have to care what the right people think. Your kids will let you know that you're making the right choices, and you're probably going to be starting terminal leave just as they enter the "teen danger zone". Your spouse will be more than happy to let you deal with that time of their lives, which will probably make diapers look easy. You should tell the woman that you're: 1. Retiring to take care of the kids while your spouse ramps up her career, or 2. You've always wanted to be an at-home parent sitting around all day watching TV & eating bonbons.

The husband definately knew what was worth falling on his sword for. He just grinned and shook his head in the background. He is in his mid 40s and recently took the govt retirement seminar. He told me that he has just hit the big ramp up in retirement pay under the old system and the opportunity cost of retiring was now to high. He has the golden handcuffs. But there are times when I am on leave he gets the "blue Flu" and we take the kids to a baseball/hockey game etc.

Yes my kids will be at the pre teen stage when I punch and I intend to be fully engaged. Every break/summer vacation I intend to be doing something with them keeping them occupied, showing them things etc. Plus the involvement with school activities, sports, boy scouts, Awanas, etc.

You may see us "Space Aing" thru your part of the world with our backpacks and swim trunks. Can I get a surfing lesson I plan on having the basement finished so there is an area for them and their friends to hang out. Oh yeah and a freezer full of pizzas.

Spouse is a realtor and really keeps hopping so having me around to help her more is a good thing. I prefer to stay in the background.

Mom, FIL, MIL & BIL are all on board with the plan. They think it is great that we should have more flexibility to visit and do things together. FIL has come a long way from when we first met. The other day he told me I had done a great job taking care of his daughter and his grandkids. Now after 15+ years if he would let me call him by his first name that would be progress. But in the grand scheme of things calling him Dr. ____ works.

Tomcat98

[REWahoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomcat98 The other day he told me I had done a great job taking care of his daughter and his grandkids. Now after 15+ years if he would let me call him by his first name that would be progress.

Heh, must be a generational FIL thing. I'm in the same boat...just add 25 years.

[template]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomcat98 ... Mom, FIL, MIL & BIL are all on board with the plan...

I retired without consulting my mom or inlaws, though I mentioned it to my mom ahead of time. My mom was a little concerned that retiring at 49 was too early, but she didn't belabor the point.

My father-in-law seemed worried after I retired that I didn't have a job. He was a hard worker all his life, right up until he passed away in his 70s. FIL was a homeowner, but had virtually no savings so he couldn't retire.

My wife and I lived the LBYM philosphy. My inlaws lived just above the paycheck-to-paycheck level.

I never told my inlaws how much money we stockpiled. They would not have understood that our money has to last us for the next few decades. I didn't want them hounding us to spend dough on trips with them to the casinos, lending money to the deadbeat/drunk SIL and BIL, etc.

[maddythebeagle]

I agree with the other posts....talking about financial matters with the great unclean masses is a bad idea...besides, maybe some of this might be to show some superiority, which I dont see the point of...a lot of these holiday get togethers are often people trying to make themselves look better than they actually are....

[JDARNELL]

Quote:

Originally Posted by template I never told my inlaws how much money we stockpiled.

We don't have this discussion either. In fact anytime $$ is mentioned I tell my FIL that I really don't want to know his position as it is their business not mine. I do have a good idea on Net Worth with my mom but we really don't discuss it. The conversations tend to be more around when she is going to retire and how much travel she is going to do. She owns a travel agency and she already travels a lot. My concern for all our parents is that there is enough to make sure they are taken care of, not how much any inheritance might be. This does come up periodically when we get the "is there anything specific you want when we depart?"

tomcat98

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tomcat98 You may see us "Space Aing" thru your part of the world with our backpacks and swim trunks. Can I get a surfing lesson

Absolutely... between Hickam & Kaneohe it's never been easier to hop out here and there's plenty of Navy Lodges in addition to the Hale Koa. Who knows, the AF might even have guest quarters available now!

Give us a call if you need a ride-- I've spent a lot of midwatch time in that Hickam PAX terminal.

[Meadbh]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cute fuzzy bunny Underestimated is exactly what I like being...

CFB, don't let your third grade teacher read that sentence!

[firewhen]

There have been a number of posts in the past, but I agree the best rule of thumb is to say nothing. They don't ask permission of us to live paycheck to paycheck, and work into their 60's and beyond. They do not need to know that we can stop working decades before. When I stop, I will make up some white lie, like I am a financial consultant (I will be--for myself). Life is for living. Doesn't mean you have to work for 40+ years to be a productive member of society. I have gradually started to get involved in some non-profits and causes and can see ramping that up when the time comes and I am able to.

I have been in a few settings where people have said something like "you have another 15 or 20 years to go". The most I have said is I hope not, or I do not know how I will be able to put up with the grind at that age. I have never mentioned that will not be because I do not have to.

My advice is to share your thoughts/plans/fears with us here, and do not worry about the naysayers.