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Old 03-11-2013, 08:04 PM   #21
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Recently a good friend from college (younger than I) also died suddenly. He was fit and healthy in every way anyone knew and yet expired suddenly without warning. It does make one contemplate mortality and one's own life plans. Best wishes to you and your family.
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Old 03-11-2013, 08:14 PM   #22
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Hang in there rodi.
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Old 03-11-2013, 08:15 PM   #23
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I am sorry for your loss. I haven't ever lost a close friend - but my father dropped dead at the age of 50....no warning. It made me have a very different outlook on work and life many years ago. I remember my mother walked around in a daze for a long time. No matter what kind of front your friend puts on, it will be a difficult time ahead for him. Having good friends will help him a lot.


As far as retirement goes, only you can determine what your number is and whether or not it is time for you to retire. But as DH kept reminding me:
  • we know how much money we have,
  • we know how to manage it
  • we DONT know how much time we have left
Hang in there and ramble here all you need to.
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Old 03-11-2013, 08:16 PM   #24
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Sorry Rodi,

I watched "The Doctors" today with Valarie Harper. He was very graceful talking about her terminal diagnosis. In a serious way, she said that we all come with expiration dates, only she sort of knows when her's is. The message was to live each day to the fullest.

Either way, when hearing about someone suddenly dying or a someone due to illness makes one think about their own mortality and really not rambling at all.
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Old 03-11-2013, 09:02 PM   #25
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Condolences, rodi. It's good to have friends, and it's also good to be a friend, and she was fortunate to have you as one.
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Old 03-11-2013, 11:27 PM   #26
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A good reminder that while we're all planning for the future, we also need to live in the present. I didn't save all the fun stuff for retirement.
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Old 03-11-2013, 11:35 PM   #27
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Sorry to hear about your friend.
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Old 03-12-2013, 12:08 AM   #28
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It's making me very philosophical. Wondering why I'm hanging on to my job just for a "buffer" of safety. .
Condolences.

A sudden loss of someone close, naturally knocks you for a six and puts one in a different "head space" for a while.

I wouldn't make any decisions about retiring just yet, until you are able to get through this feeling of sadness and healing.

If you love what you do, then what does it matter if you work an extra year or more for that added security. Better than retiring and worrying about money all the time. That could be far worse
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Old 03-12-2013, 05:05 AM   #29
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My condolences as well, the really bad thing about turning 50 is you become acutely aware of your own mortality between your parents and the small number of friends that pass away early.

I was a party with for our fitness class (some of us are less fit than others . I got to visit with friends delightful 94 year old mom, who makes fun of us going to a fitness class, since she did no exercise until picking up golf in her 60s. She loves a good steak, and enjoys a scotch or two every night, is still as sharp as tack, sees and hears better than her son-in-law . It is pretty clear to me that there is a lot of luck involved in living long so might as well enjoy it.
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Old 03-12-2013, 08:34 AM   #30
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So sorry for your loss Rodi.
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Old 03-12-2013, 09:29 AM   #31
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So sorry for the loss, Rodi.

Please do not worry about rambling. Communicating & connecting with others are important in effectively dealing with these tragedies.
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Old 03-12-2013, 09:52 AM   #32
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As far as retirement goes, only you can determine what your number is and whether or not it is time for you to retire. But as DH kept reminding me:
  • we know how much money we have,
  • we know how to manage it
  • we DONT know how much time we have left
Hang in there and ramble here all you need to.
Reminds me of the concept: There are things I can control and there are things I cannot control. [INSERT DEITY] grant me the wisdom to know the difference.

Sorry for your loss.
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:09 AM   #33
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I'm sorry to hear of this. It is always hard to take and does make on take a step back and consider one's own mortality.

Continue being a friend to your friends. That's the best and only thing you can do.
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:15 AM   #34
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I realized last night I took my friend (and her husband) for granted. They were constants - our go-to couple if we wanted to ditch the kids and have a nice meal out with good friends.

It just seems false that she's no longer there. I'm having a hard time absorbing this.

Her husband is dealing with her family this week. The service will be private - but he mentioned doing a celebration of life with friends later. I'll reach out to him next week when he's no longer dealing with the logistics of out of town family.

It's weird - this death is hitting me much harder than when my brother died at age 49, a few months after my dad died. Both had cancer - so there was some time to adjust, mentally, to the concept. I think the suddenness, and the fact that she was such a close friend, in age, in life, etc... makes it harder.
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:26 AM   #35
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So sorry for your loss ! I have been through a sudden death and I have to agree it is harder to accept and process the pain.
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Old 03-12-2013, 05:47 PM   #36
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I realized last night I took my friend (and her husband) for granted. They were constants.
Rightly or wrongly, this is human nature. Try not to feel guilty.
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Old 03-12-2013, 06:09 PM   #37
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rodi - I'm so sorry for your loss.

My dad died suddenly on Jan 1st, and one of the best things a neighbor did for us was to bring us some tamales. It's a great snack, easy to reheat, easy to freeze if you get too much food. I'm sure you know the husband's tastes, but maybe that can be some help.

I've had young friends die after illnesses, and now a sudden death with my dad. Young and sudden seems like a double whammy.

If there's anything I can do since I'm local, please let me know.
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