inheritance money?

[Keyboard Ninja]

I know that this is going to happen someday so I might as well ask the question.

What should I do when I receive a large sum of money? Either by winning a lottery or by inheritance. I know that I'll receive an inheritance someday and I just want to be somewhat prepared when it happens.

Should I put it in a CD for awhile? Who would I consult when this does happen? any ideas would be awesome.

 

[W2R]

I know that this is going to happen someday so I might as well ask the question.

What should I do when I receive a large sum of money? Either by winning a lottery or by inheritance. I know that I'll receive an inheritance someday and I just want to be somewhat prepared when it happens.

Should I put it in a CD for awhile? Who would I consult when this does happen? any ideas would be awesome.

I would suggest to put it in CD's or a Vanguard money market fund while you think about what to do with it, and how you want to invest it.

Conventional wisdom has it that you should take your time and think about what to do with it (after that).

When I received the first part of my inheritance, I wired it to Vanguard's Prime Money Market (VMMXX). Personally I think it is wise to learn how to manage large sums of money myself, rather than relying on a financial advisor. So, I read a lot of books about investing, including quite a few off this list: Investment Books . Then I decided on an investment plan and started gradually moving money from the money market fund into funds according to my plan.

There is no tax on my inheritance (there is estate tax, but the estate takes care of that before making distributions to the heirs). So basically, since I didn't want a financial advisor I really haven't had to consult anyone. I do bounce my investing ideas off the bogleheads forum Bogleheads :: Index , off people here at the ER forum, and off my brother, who I trust. So far, so good. I did increase my liability insurance and otherwise update my insurance. It's a good idea to have a will drawn up, too.

When you first receive your inheritance, you may feel the urge to do something rash like quit work or buy a mansion. Just don't!!! At least, not right away. Wait a few months before you make any big changes, until you are sure that this is really what you want to do with your money.

 

[Meadbh]

What W2R said.

It's better to be knowledgeable about finance before this happens (that's IF it happens). However, don't live your life now on the basis that it will happen. You just never know when your prospective benefactor will get the urge to spend it all!

After it happens, if FIRE is your objective, just continue living your life as before in the short term. If the inheritance consists of liquid assets, park the money somewhere secure and liquid, such as a money market fund. Make the next six months "decision time" while you evaluate your financial situation and learn about the tax implications of cashing bonds, etc. If the inheritance includes property, you will have to do an honest evaluation of whether this property fits into your future plans and if so, whether you can afford to maintain it. Selling the property can take a long time (just ask Lazy) so stay frugal till the taxes have been paid and the money is in the bank.

One issue for many people is what to tell others. This may be a particular issue when you live near extended family or when there has been some disagreement about the estate. I think it's best to just stay quiet about it. By the time your inheritance is actually yours, they will have moved on to other things, especially if you have not changed your habits.

MEETING THE CHALLENGES OF INHERITING MONEY

Sudden Riches, Sudden Doubt - July 1, 2007

 

[Gworker]

One question may be what is a large sum of money? A large sum is different to different people. I inherited a decent amount of money but it was in retirement accounts so I take the minimum distributions each year and use that for vacation money (you only live once). That helps me save more of my income for retirement and my wife and I get to take a nice vacation each year.

I was watching a home improvement show this weekend and they featured a couple who won $600,000 from a state lottery. They couple bought a mini-mansion and then gutted part of it because they wanted a fancy kitchen and other stuff. They were broke and in debt when it was done.

I like the idea about parking it and waiting six months. Then I would look at several index funds especially if you're young.

 

[W2R]

It's better to be knowledgeable about finance before this happens (that's IF it happens). However, don't live your life now on the basis that it will happen. You just never know when your prospective benefactor will get the urge to spend it all!

Exactly! It's not easy keeping well balanced in this situation. You have to spend the time and "do your homework", but on the other hand you absolutely MUST not count on getting anything. Otherwise, if (for some unknown reason) you did not get your inheritance, you will not be prepared for ER and will end up working until you're old.

Even now, having received distributions equal to about 73.5% of my inheritance (the rest to come probably this summer), I have two financial plans going: One is for the case that I receive the rest, and one is for the case that I don't.

After it happens, if FIRE is your objective, just continue living your life as before in the short term. If the inheritance consists of liquid assets, park the money somewhere secure and liquid, such as a money market fund. Make the next six months "decision time" while you evaluate your financial situation and learn about the tax implications of cashing bonds, etc.

Good advice. I was lucky in that the executor is my brother and my share has been solely in cash.

If the inheritance includes property, you will have to do an honest evaluation of whether this property fits into your future plans and if so, whether you can afford to maintain it. Selling the property can take a long time (just ask Lazy) so stay frugal till the taxes have been paid and the money is in the bank.

This can be a nightmare. In any event, I would suggest staying frugal until you have the money, and even beyond then. I think it's important for me to gradually (rather than instantly) move into spending more, in order to keep an even keel and stay the same person that I am.

One issue for many people is what to tell others. This may be a particular issue when you live near extended family or when there has been some disagreement about the estate. I think it's best to just stay quiet about it. By the time your inheritance is actually yours, they will have moved on to other things, especially if you have not changed your habits.

This forum is one of the few places where I feel free to talk about it, other than with Frank. Most people seem to assume that if you have a large inheritance, you are going to live "The Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous". I'm sure there are people at work who are wondering if I inherited, and probably assuming that I didn't since my lifestyle and future plans have not changed. The difference is that I don't have to worry about the market so much, and that I will be able to afford some luxuries now and then. (I don't especially want to impress people with my possessions so the rich and famous lifestyle sounds like a huge pain in the rear to me.)

MEETING THE CHALLENGES OF INHERITING MONEY

Sudden Riches, Sudden Doubt - July 1, 2007

Thanks for the links!! I'll check them out, too.

 

[Walt34]

W2R is right. There is so much "baggage" that comes with it (at least there was for me) park it somewhere for six months to a year and think about it.

 

[W2R]

I was watching a home improvement show this weekend and they featured a couple who won $600,000 from a state lottery. They couple bought a mini-mansion and then gutted part of it because they wanted a fancy kitchen and other stuff. They were broke and in debt when it was done.

How awful!! I hope that none of us here would blow a windfall of that size quite so fast.

Personally I would consider $600K to be pretty small and probably less than the OP was implying. At 4%, the couple on that show could have had an income of only $2K/mo BEFORE taxes for the rest of their life from it. And if they didn't want to take a full 4% and preferred 3%, their income would only be $1500/mo BEFORE taxes. That's why I would consider that to be a pretty modest amount.

Due to making the decisions they made, their income will be $0/mo.

 

[W2R]

There is so much "baggage" that comes with it (at least there was for me) park it somewhere for six months to a year and think about it.

So true. I know I felt awful when my mother died, even though she was nearly 98. I feel conflicted because of course I would rather have my mother than her money, which she and my father worked really hard to earn. On the other hand, she would want me to enjoy it rather than give it away or ignore it. It would be easy for me to just do nothing with it because to spend it, is to acknowledge that she is gone forever. But that is an unrealistic mindset and not one that is emotionally healthy.

One of Meadbh's links says this about the emotional baggage:

The emotional stress of inheriting has caused some inheritors to get rid of the money as quickly as possible, either by disclaiming the inheritance, giving it away or spending it. Others have been known to sit on their wealth and continue living their current, more modest lifestyle, sometimes for decades.

For me, the best way to avoid either of these outcomes is to gradually spend a little more, reassess, then feed a little more in the budget, and so on, until I reach a point of equilibrium within maybe 3-4 years.

Meanwhile, my money is making money so a nice unintended result is that I'll end up with a larger nestegg at equilibrium than otherwise. Right now I am spending $300-$500/month more than I have during the past five years, which is a big step for me, and I will push that up a few hundred dollars soon. I am still driving my 8-year-old Solara, because it is perfectly good and I did not plan to replace it for another year or two.

 

[Moemg]

I agree with what everbody has said so far plus I'd like to add take a small percent of the money and buy yourself something or take a trip that you've been lusting after . I found doing that makes saving all the rest so much easier .

 

[W2R]

I agree with what everbody has said so far plus I'd like to add take a small percent of the money and buy yourself something or take a trip that you've been lusting after . I found doing that makes saving all the rest so much easier .

True! It may not take much to have that effect for some LBYM'ers. When I first received my inheritance I spent a few (3? 4? I'd have to check) hundred dollars on a one day shopping spree, and that seemed to do the trick for me. I filled up my shopping cart at Target and Bed Bath and Beyond with everything I've always wanted but couldn't justify, then bought a half dozen new outfits and accessories at my favorite clothing store, and at the end of the day I was surrounded by zillions of shopping bags and felt rich, rich, rich, and showered with goodies!!

Naturally, in the spirit of the forum I did take my coupons with me.

 

[Cattusbabe]

I know that this is going to happen someday so I might as well ask the question.

What should I do when I receive a large sum of money? Either by winning a lottery or by inheritance. I know that I'll receive an inheritance someday and I just want to be somewhat prepared when it happens.

Should I put it in a CD for awhile? Who would I consult when this does happen? any ideas would be awesome.

We were in that situation. A large inheritance which allowed the both of us to retire early. The advice given by the posters here is good. We did much of it.
We made no lifestyle changes for about a year after we received the money. In that time we read and learned about what was about to happen and how to take care of this legacy. We thought about how much we could do ourselves and how much we needed professionals to assist is handling things. We also came to a resolution about how we got the money and what was owed to the person who left it to us. You cannot rush any of this.

In the end we did not make a lot of changes. We live in the same house and drive the same car. We live pretty much the same life we did before because it turns out we had built a life together we loved prior to inheriting the money. What changed is we no longer have to work to support that life. Oh yes, and we travel more. Going forward we work to preserve the principal and just live off the income of what we received. The income is enough to support ourselves. This works for the both of us.

If I can offer a bit of advice it is this. "Don't talk your wallet." That is an old expression that means keep our finances to your self. There are a lot of people out there who would just love to separate you from your new found wealth. Not all of them are strangers either. Being discrete saves a lot of headaches. Trust me on this.

 

[Keyboard Ninja]

I plan on being discrete about my finances for a long while. I'm in the USAF currently, and I like what I do. My hopes are to retire from the military (either in the USAF or the US Army as a Warrant Officer), and lead a simple life.

I know that a large sum of money will be coming my way. From what I have been told much of it will be cash, a life insurance policy, thier house, and investments. I'm going home later this year and they want to sit down and talk to me about everything

It sucks to think about it, but it is going to happen. How do you not feel guilty about this?

 

[Cattusbabe]

It is coming your way, you know this and have time to plan. You will miss the persons who are leaving you this legacy. That cannot be helped and you will feel bad about the way you came into your wealth. Guilt? No. This is the natural progression of things. We are born, we live, then we die. You cannot take it with you. We would have felt guilt if we had run through our inheritance with out a thought of what it took to build and preserve it to pass on.
My husband and I feel that the best way to honor the person who left us the money is to be a good steward of it. Which for us means growing what has been left to us. That way we will pass it on to those who follow us.

 

[Khan]

I plan on being discrete about my finances for a long while. I'm in the USAF currently, and I like what I do. My hopes are to retire from the military (either in the USAF or the US Army as a Warrant Officer), and lead a simple life.

I know that a large sum of money will be coming my way. From what I have been told much of it will be cash, a life insurance policy, thier house, and investments. I'm going home later this year and they want to sit down and talk to me about everything

Don't count on an inheritance until it's in the bank.

It sucks to think about it, but it is going to happen. How do you not feel guilty about this?

I would think one would only feel guilty if one had hastened the inheritance.

 

[W2R]

I plan on being discrete about my finances for a long while. I'm in the USAF currently, and I like what I do. My hopes are to retire from the military (either in the USAF or the US Army as a Warrant Officer), and lead a simple life.

I know that a large sum of money will be coming my way. From what I have been told much of it will be cash, a life insurance policy, thier house, and investments. I'm going home later this year and they want to sit down and talk to me about everything

It sucks to think about it, but it is going to happen. How do you not feel guilty about this?

Don't spend your energy feeling guilty, especially not right now. Spend your energy telling them you love them, reminiscing about old times, and making the most of what time you have left together.

Again, don't count on anything, especially not in any particular timeframe. You just never know. Just think of it as something that could happen, as one of many possible future events in your life.

If they are letting you know what to do when they have passed away, that is good information to know. It will help when the time comes. It's hard to think at a time like that.

 

[pureaboly]

W2R is right. There is so much "baggage" that comes with it (at least there was for me) park it somewhere for six months to a year and think about it.

Agreed. It is hard to project your feelings through the events that lead up to an inheritance. Cover your immediate needs, if any, but otherwise park it until you've had time to come to terms with yourself, work out a plan and vet it.

Even then your inheritance will probably not come all at once and may come slowly -- an estate of decent size will take months (in the best case) and possibly years to execute with taxes, debts and claims, trusts, retirement accounts, and court procedures to wade through, and even the possibility of an IRS audit to drag things out. You may get the money and assets before they're irrevocably yours; you may end up needing to liquidate some of the assets to pay the tax man.

 

[W2R]

Agreed. It is hard to project your feelings through the events that lead up to an inheritance. Cover your immediate needs, if any, but otherwise park it until you've had time to come to terms with yourself, work out a plan and vet it.

Even then your inheritance will probably not come all at once and may come slowly -- an estate of decent size will take months (in the best case) and possibly years to execute with taxes, debts and claims, trusts, retirement accounts, and court procedures to wade through, and even the possibility of an IRS audit to drag things out.

I can attest to that. We are still in the middle of receiving distributions from my mother's estate. She died on September 30th, 2007, and her estate has been dribbling down to us slowly and erratically, "in fits and starts". My brother/executor/CPA and the family estate lawyer are planning to close her estate at some time within about a year after her death. This was the length of time that was originally anticipated, so I guess that's just how long it takes. We did not receive the first penny for nearly five months.

In a way the delay helped (though I might not have said that at the time). We dealt with her cremation, with the ceremony, with disposing of her personal effects, and with accepting the fact that she is actually gone forever and that my brothers and I are now (middle aged) orphans, without having an inheritance dumped in our laps to deal with at the same moment.

 

[Nords]

I plan on being discrete about my finances for a long while. I'm in the USAF currently, and I like what I do. My hopes are to retire from the military (either in the USAF or the US Army as a Warrant Officer), and lead a simple life.

It's probably more constructive to keep studying, keep promoting, get that college degree, and get a commission. (Oh, and keep saving all those pay increases for the TSP.) Then when the inheritance unexpectedly drops on your head (hopefully many many years from now) you can also have the option of choosing to donate it to charity or to dump it on your own kid's heads.

We've been ER'd for long enough to know that we don't need no stinkin' inheritances, let alone want them. If it happens-- and we hope that it doesn't happen-- then we're going to have to do some serious estate planning. I don't want to just give it away and then years or decades later watch a grandchild or great-grandchild have some serious health problem requiring lifetime care/expenses.

In general you probably want the life-affirming personal satisfaction of earning your own fortune rather than the suspense & frustration (and emotional blackmail) of waiting for one to come your way.

Spouse was stationed with a naval officer who was a hot-shot career-gungy future flag officer. She was so intense & driven that, on travel, her shipmates drew up a watchbill to sit with her. She was single and had no life outside her IN box... until the day her parents passed away and left her in charge of what turned out to be the family foundation. Literally overnight she submitted her retirement request and disappeared, resurfacing through occasional sightings as she traveled the world (on foundation business) in search of suitable places to dispense grants. She's still single and has no life, and now she's paranoid that everyone is out to get their hands on her money. She'd've been better off without it.

I know that a large sum of money will be coming my way. From what I have been told much of it will be cash, a life insurance policy, thier house, and investments. I'm going home later this year and they want to sit down and talk to me about everything

You'll have to let us know how it goes. Here's another scenario for you to worry about: after all these years they probably figure that you're old enough for them to tell you the truth-- they lost it all eight years ago when they were day-trading, and your old college fund was 100% in Enron! Oh, and could you loan them a few thousand dollars to get them through the home-equity loan payment due next month?

We plan to have a similar open-book meeting (except for the day-trading and Enron parts) with our kid when she turns 18 and becomes our executrix as well as our heiress. We plan to show her what we're going to be spending as aggressively as we can before we give the rest (if any) to charity... our intent is to reassure her that she won't have to pay for our long-term care. We think the key part of that meeting is making sure she knows how to find all the paperwork and account passwords, but we could be wrong. You'll have to let us know what you wish you've been told.

We've been told for years that spouse's parents have a will with perforations around the names of the beneficiaries. No phone call in a month? Rrrrrripppp... out of the will. The first decade of our marriage I thought spouse was joking, but in the last decade I've realized that the joke isn't very funny. She feels a strong sense of parental obligation that is in no way reciprocated, let alone fulfilling, and the undercurrents of resentment can really eat away at your soul. Now we're relieved that we no longer care whether she's in the will. I asked her the other day what she'd do if they asked for money to pay for their health insurance, their mortgage, their long-term care, or their groceries and she said "I'd write them a check and count my blessings...and say 'Bye-bye!'"

It sucks to think about it, but it is going to happen. How do you not feel guilty about this?

You remember them and honor their legacy.

In addition, if you're in Hawaii, you buy a late-model pickup or SUV, preferably on a jacked-up suspension with big knobby 4WD beach tires, and put a huge tint decal on the rear window announcing to the entire world "In Loving Memory Of Tutu..."

We tell our kid that our ambition is to leave her just enough to do the same with an adhesive sticker on a second-hand longboard.

In addition to all the rest of the reading recommendations you might want to try a library copy of "Navigating the Dark Side of Wealth" by Thayer Cheatham Willis, the Georgia-Pacific heiress. It's been out for a while and she exquisitely & thoroughly covers all these issues.

Thayer Willis

 

[W2R]

Here's another scenario for you to worry about: after all these years they probably figure that you're old enough for them to tell you the truth-- they lost it all eight years ago when they were day-trading, and your old college fund was 100% in Enron! Oh, and could you loan them a few thousand dollars to get them through the home-equity loan payment due next month?

I was thinking the same thing, but didn't quite know how to phrase it. Even if the parents present themselves as being very well off, "end of life" expenses can be astronomical. Financial institutions or advisors may not work in their best interest, and over decades the fees may amount to more than the elderly realize. In my case, my parents had "the talk" with me when they were in their sixties back in the 1970's. There was a 30-year gap between that time and now, when I am actually dealing with inheritance, and possibly that could happen to the OP as well.

 

[rs0460a]

I know that I'll receive an inheritance someday

My father waited many years for his mother to pass and spent many years talking/planning about "his inheritance".

She passed in her 90's; he passed in his 70's - a few years after she went.

You can spend your entire life planning for something that may not happen (in this case) till the end of yours.

As for me? What's an inheritance (it all went to his second wife )? That's OK - I made my own life and never worried about "maybe".

- Ron

 

[Khan]

I don't recall if I told this story before:

My aunt 'S' (never married or had children, had a long career as a nurse, WW2 veteran) wanted to leave an inheritance to my sister 'N'. Every now and then 'N' would get papers to be signed and notarized.

'S' lived to be 89 in an assisted care facility; sometimes 'N' sent money for things such as 'S' caretaker's glasses.

A few months after 'S' died, 'N' received her inheritance: a box full of papers and photos.

And concerning our parents: they had a reverse mortgage, so much for that house on the canal.

Do not read in any bitterness or jealousy, we never were expecting or depending on an inheritance. They earned the money, raised us, and deserved to spend it all on themselves.

 

[pureaboly]

Who would I consult when this does happen?

Your folks probably have some or all of

* medical decision maker (possibly you)
* power of attorney designee (possibly you)
* minister / pastor / rabbi / spiritual guide
* estate attorney
* executor named in the will (possibly you as well)
* accountant
* investment advisor

It'd be a good idea to introduce yourself to these people as they'll be the people you work with as your parents reach the end of their lives. Assuming your parents are healthy and not about to keel over anytime soon, there's no rush to meet them esp since they may change over time.

You should definitely speak frankly with your parents about the level of care that they want (and vice versa) at end of life. Unless they die suddenly eg plane crash, it's likely that there will be a time that they are incapacitated and you (or the surviving spouse, or the designated medical decision maker) will have to decide what life-sustaining medical treatment, if any, they will receive. Especially with the increasing incidence of senile dementias like Alzheimers & vascular dementia, you may wind up with a recurring decision-making and/or care-taking role. You'll be ill-prepared to do that unless you know what kind of care they would choose for themselves.

 

[W2R]

I don't recall if I told this story before:

My aunt 'S' (never married or had children, had a long career as a nurse, WW2 veteran) wanted to leave an inheritance to my sister 'N'. Every now and then 'N' would get papers to be signed and notarized.

'S' lived to be 89 in an assisted care facility; sometimes 'N' sent money for things such as 'S' caretaker's glasses.

A few months after 'S' died, 'N' received her inheritance: a box full of papers and photos.

And concerning our parents: they had a reverse mortgage, so much for that house on the canal.

Do not read in any bitterness or jealousy, we never were expecting or depending on an inheritance. They earned the money, raised us, and deserved to spend it all on themselves.

What a great story! I can really relate to the last paragraph. We felt the same way about our parents' money. They worked hard for it and we encouraged them to spend it on themselves. They did so, to some extent. As for the house, my mother sold our beachfront home on Oahu long before the real estate bubble when she moved into a facility. So, proceeds from the house played only a minor role in her portfolio.

Luckily for us, there was enough remaining in her estate to provide heirs with a whole lot more than a box of papers. But if there hadn't been anything left, I think we would have been OK with that, too.

She was happy, active, and glad to be alive every day up to the middle her 97th year, at the end of which she passed away.

There's a mentality that I think we all have to some extent, which is that if we receive a lump sum of "x dollars" all our problems will be solved. You see this on game shows, when someone wins $20K and goes nuts. They probably wouldn't be as thrilled if they realized that after taxes on the prize and on investment returns, at a 4% SWR they might net less than $40.00/month from their winnings.

We may think that money will solve all problems, but as Khan and some others here know, there is more to life than money. Also, when it comes to solving financial problems I think that by LBYM we are giving ourselves a far greater gift than most heirs receive.

 

[OAG]

IMHO inherited money is "found" money and usually (in a very lot of cases) just wasted! We got here with nothing and should endeavor to leave the same way (IMO).

 

[CuppaJoe]

I know that this is going to happen someday....

Wow! That is some premise!