Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-27-2009, 04:57 PM   #121
Gone but not forgotten
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 11,447
Different strokes for different folks ! My children are the light in my life . I can not imagine life without them . Sure it was hard , I was a divorced single mother for years but I never ever regretted having them . I would never talk someone into having a child that is too much of a personal decision .
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 09-27-2009, 06:45 PM   #122
Gone but not forgotten
Khan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,924
Send a message via AIM to Khan
Just to throw in my 2˘:

Don't like children, didn't like them when I was one, never wanted them, never had them.

Grateful to live in a place and time where I could be able to not have them.
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
Khan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2009, 07:39 PM   #123
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 1,688
One plus about having children is that there will always be someone there to pick a resthome for me when I am too far gone to do so myself.....
__________________
Budgeting is a skill practised by people who are bad at politics.
traineeinvestor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2009, 07:46 PM   #124
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Collin County, TX
Posts: 9,294
I just keep thinking about grabbing my lower lip and pulling it over my forehead...
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2009, 07:50 PM   #125
Moderator Emeritus
Bestwifeever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,773
Quote:
Originally Posted by michelle View Post
....Some children are hellians from the moment the cord is tied...not so far with mine. Regardless, just the way it was for me, and not meant to be considered as an insight into anyone else's life.



Again, to clarify, life was very good before having children. With children life is also very good...but in a different way. It is difficult to explain, so I will cease trying.
You have soooo much to look forward to--enjoy these easy years.
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
Bestwifeever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2009, 08:26 PM   #126
Gone but not forgotten
Khan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,924
Send a message via AIM to Khan
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
I just keep thinking about grabbing my lower lip and pulling it over my forehead...
"Pushing a piano through a transom."
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
Khan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2009, 08:47 PM   #127
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
This is such an interesting thread. I want to put in a plug for teenagers. They get a bad rap, but IMO they are generally more honest and at least as entertaining as adults.

I have never had to deal with teenage girls, except as dates when I was a teenager myself. But I have a fair amount of experience with young men. I was a YMCA junior high age boys' group leader in a nastly ghetto in a tough northeastern city, and I saw a lot to like with these guys.

My own teenage boys were fun most of the time. I never felt manipulated or disrespected. My former FIL was a career army officer with WW2 and Korea as longterm combat missions in the airborne/aircav. He knew his young men, and he respected them all the way.

I think that those who want and like children know how they feel, and how deep the feeling is. Equally, those who don't like and don't want children know how they feel. I am glad for both groups, and glad for the children that they did or did not have, respectively.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2009, 05:00 AM   #128
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
freebird5825's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 9,037
I thought about having kids at one point when I turned 30, very briefly in an insane moment.
Then reality kicked in. I think I heard too many graphic stories at baby showers from the older gals one-upping each other on how much pain they went through and all sorts of "procedures".
I enjoy interacting with good kids, and I'm the first one to hunker down and make a sandcastle or fly kites or play with Legos with OPC (other people's children). I truly detest being near bratty or whiny kids and immediately walk away.
__________________
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
freebird5825 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2009, 03:14 PM   #129
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Milton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,360
Quote:
Originally Posted by simple girl View Post
"It's a joy you'll never know"
"You'll never think you are ready, you just have to do it"
"But you would be such a good mother!"
One could make the same non-arguments for virtually any life-experience: e.g., mountain climbing, owning a Dalmation, learning to fly helicopters, living abroad, becoming an ordained minister, serving in the military, etc. etc. But none of those activities are right for all people.

Quote:
Originally Posted by simple girl View Post
"Being able to do those other things will seem so unimportant once you have children."
Perhaps. Or maybe you will retain your dreams and simply become frustrated, bitter, resentful and unhappy. I suspect that you are able to predict your own reaction rather better than other people are.

Quote:
Originally Posted by simple girl View Post
"Don't you worry about being old and alone someday?"
This argument doesn't impress me at all. Perhaps it still holds true in some cultures, but in North America society the odds are high that one's adult children will move far away and/or be so busy in their own lives that they will have little time to spend with an aged parent.

The best safeguard against loneliness is to be the sort of person that people (family, friends) enjoy spending time with. Merely having a child is no guarantee that one will never be old and alone: any more than getting married is.
__________________
"To know what you prefer, instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive". Robert Louis Stevenson, An Inland Voyage (1878)
Milton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2009, 08:07 PM   #130
Dryer sheet aficionado
SciFiFan53's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Columbus
Posts: 49
Seems this thread has taken several twists and turns since the OP. After reading some of them, here are some of my takes on life and living in the moment - along with some of the side topics that were brought up.
First - Having kids/not having kids and married/single are very personal decisions. We always told our kids that it was better to stay single or wait a long time for the right person, because living with the wrong one was WAY worse and had many more long term consequences. As far as having kids, I have seen many people in both situations happy, and many miserable. I think alot of it has to do with how much time and energy you are willing to put into your family. I will say that having kids often keeps you in the moment - but sometimes you may not enjoy it!
Second - I read the following general observation somewhere. Young children live in the moment, teens through adults live in the future, and old people live in the past (although maybe for those with Aldzheimer's live in the present as well!!). From what I've seen, this seems to be generally true, maybe out of necessity. After all, if no one "lived in the future" there would be total chaos (no planning, no preparations, etc).
Third - I think sometimes we confuse enjoyment and living in the moment with emotional highs or ecstasy. Focusing too much on happiness will almost always produce the opposite. Just read a quote recently something to the effect that happiness is never found when it is the only goal in life. It almost always results from having a purpose in life - and pursuing that purpose. It's my belief that someone totally focused on themselves is miserable and lonely, and that won't change until the focus changes.
Just my observations - no data or research.
SciFiFan53 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2009, 10:03 AM   #131
Gone but not forgotten
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 11,447
So for all of you that do not want children how will you handle your parents when they turn into the children you never had ? My Mom was just here for a week and it was exactly like having a four year old again without the ability to call time outs .
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2009, 10:05 AM   #132
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
ziggy29's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: North Oregon Coast
Posts: 16,483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
So for all of you that do not want children how will you handle your parents when they turn into the children you never had ? My Mom was just here for a week and it was exactly like having a four year old again without the ability to call time outs .
Not sure how one anecdotal data point produces a trend here...
__________________
"Hey, for every ten dollars, that's another hour that I have to be in the work place. That's an hour of my life. And my life is a very finite thing. I have only 'x' number of hours left before I'm dead. So how do I want to use these hours of my life? Do I want to use them just spending it on more crap and more stuff, or do I want to start getting a handle on it and using my life more intelligently?" -- Joe Dominguez (1938 - 1997)
ziggy29 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2009, 11:32 AM   #133
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Sarah in SC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 13,566
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
So for all of you that do not want children how will you handle your parents when they turn into the children you never had ? My Mom was just here for a week and it was exactly like having a four year old again without the ability to call time outs .
I sincerely hope that my parents will forget where I live by the time they need me to care for them.

Seriously, this is the only sucky thing about us not having squallers of our own--that my sibs will conclude that we've got the money and time to care for my very crotchety parental units.

I dread it, but I have proven myself to be such an unempathetic and cold-natured caregiver that they may dread it worse even than I do.
__________________
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.”
Gerard Arthur Way

Sarah in SC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2009, 11:35 AM   #134
Moderator Emeritus
Bestwifeever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,773
Fortunately my parents passed away before my children were born (someone actually did tell me how lucky I was when my father died at 55 because "now you don't have to take care of him when he gets old").
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
Bestwifeever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2009, 11:38 AM   #135
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
ziggy29's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: North Oregon Coast
Posts: 16,483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bestwifeever View Post
(someone actually did tell me how lucky I was when my father died at 55 because "now you don't have to take care of him when he gets old").
Honestly, some people....

__________________
"Hey, for every ten dollars, that's another hour that I have to be in the work place. That's an hour of my life. And my life is a very finite thing. I have only 'x' number of hours left before I'm dead. So how do I want to use these hours of my life? Do I want to use them just spending it on more crap and more stuff, or do I want to start getting a handle on it and using my life more intelligently?" -- Joe Dominguez (1938 - 1997)
ziggy29 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2009, 01:33 PM   #136
Gone but not forgotten
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 11,447
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bestwifeever View Post
Fortunately my parents passed away before my children were born (someone actually did tell me how lucky I was when my father died at 55 because "now you don't have to take care of him when he gets old").

No one is lucky to lose their parents not matter what age they are . My Dad has been gone for thirty years and I still miss him .
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2009, 01:53 PM   #137
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Collin County, TX
Posts: 9,294
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
So for all of you that do not want children how will you handle your parents when they turn into the children you never had ? My Mom was just here for a week and it was exactly like having a four year old again without the ability to call time outs .
Love and patience works for me. (then grinding my teeth in another room)
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2009, 02:04 PM   #138
Gone but not forgotten
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 11,447
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
Love and patience works for me. (then grinding my teeth in another room)
That and sipping wine !
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2009, 03:52 PM   #139
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Milton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,360
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
So for all of you that do not want children how will you handle your parents when they turn into the children you never had ? My Mom was just here for a week and it was exactly like having a four year old again without the ability to call time outs .
Sorry to hear of the difficulties with your Mom; but I am not sure that having children would make such situations any better.
__________________
"To know what you prefer, instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive". Robert Louis Stevenson, An Inland Voyage (1878)
Milton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-2009, 04:15 PM   #140
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, PA suburbs
Posts: 1,796
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
No one is lucky to lose their parents not matter what age they are . My Dad has been gone for thirty years and I still miss him .
Me, too. My Mom died in 1976 and my Dad in 1982. I missed having them terribly all through my life and I still do. They were great people and I smile when I relive moments with them. Dad was great for all his "sayings", and I find myself saying some of the same things at times. They were wonderful role models. I feel that I fall short in so many ways when I compare myself to them.
WhoDaresWins is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Ah Ha moment! Just happened. dumpster56 Other topics 10 04-06-2008 03:46 PM
A moment of silence please... cute fuzzy bunny Other topics 8 02-19-2007 08:29 AM
A Senior Moment frayne Other topics 1 01-26-2007 09:11 AM
Just a nice moment Rich_by_the_Bay Other topics 8 09-26-2006 09:45 AM
Senior moment? Or... REWahoo Other topics 10 06-27-2006 12:24 PM

» Quick Links

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:01 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.