Originally Posted by Lazarus
Money is important. But your choice is to raise your kids or pay someone else to. Want your kids fondest memories to be of the nanny?
This has been a nice thread to this point without a lot of the SAHM/working mom culture wars.
But, I have to say the above is a bit distressing. I did have an au pair for about 5 years.
I disagree with the idea that because I paid for an au pair or paid for day care that somehow means that I am paying for someone to raise my kids or that my kid's fondest memories or of the nanny or the au pair.
Suffice it to say that my husband and I raised our kids, even though neither one of us stayed home full time with the kids. Our kids did like the au pairs that we had who lived with us while here as members of our family. They were enriched by these experiences. However, I am confident that my children's fondest memories are not of the au pairs.
I could write a lot about the benefits (and not just financial) which came to my children through both parents working. I can also see benefits to children in one parent staying at home (doesn't have to be the mom, by the way) or one or both parents working reduced hours. This isn't something where there is just one right answer for everyone.
However, when someone seems to say that any who uses child care is somehow not raising her children or or says that if they do the child will have a lesser memory of the parent then that really just sort of stops all the discussion and becomes nothing more than an insult which devalues the many different ways there are of being a parent. It seems to be designed to be just hurtful and dismissive of every working parent (somehow those who hold this kind of view usually don't have a problem with working fathers...it is just working mothers that get slammed).
I don't intend to get into a debate on this subject from this point on, but I also can't let this kind of over generalization go by.