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Re: Need tips for training my spouse.
Old 08-31-2005, 07:40 PM   #61
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Re: Need tips for training my spouse.

Hi
In our situation, I was pushing for savings. She agreed to save the left overs. Well there were no left overs. *We tried various things from making a budget to automatic savings. The automatic saving didn't work becuase we just felt poor all the time.

What is working now is pulling out money over the budget and putting it in a seperate account. This can be tapped if we run out so we haven't put ourselves against a big wall. But we rarely touch it. It is like blocked off. We have personal money budgeted. This made a big difference. I use mine for the gym and lunch. She uses hers for ... well I am not exactly sure but that is her business.

Some other things
We use cash for everything no checks no credit cards (except for amazon). Without credit cards everything became simpler and easier.

How we structured the physical place of the money made a big difference even though it is just mental games.

Structuring the situation as her problem got me nowhere and she was not the only one with a problem.

It took time to change our habits. But she has bought into the savings thing. Now we are both on the same page and we are chugging along now. Looks like we will save 5000 over what we budgeted for this year.*

Mike
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Re: Need tips for training my spouse.
Old 08-31-2005, 08:02 PM   #62
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Re: Need tips for training my spouse.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mikew
It took time to change our habits. But she has bought into the savings thing. Now we are both on the same page and we are chugging along now. Looks like we will save 5000 over what we budgeted for this year.*
Mike
Congratulations, Mike. Your comment that it is easier to spend less when using cash apparently has been proven again and again. It just hurts more to watch those pretty green bills going out than to slide that card.

ha
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Re: Need tips for training my spouse.
Old 09-01-2005, 07:30 AM   #63
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Re: Need tips for training my spouse.

Johnnym - the cheese was just a minute example.* *Holistically, i can buy a week's worth of grocerys for about 80 bucks, she does so for about 120.* So, yeah i know, if i dont like it, then i should buy the groceries.* *I agree with that.* *

But it is more than just that; she just isnt to the point where she's strategizing with me about how to buy the things we need for less, or deciding if we can do without them alltogether.*

>I agree that if you pay for things with cash, it might cut back on the spending from a psychological standpoint.* *This is one of Dave Ramsey's big things.* Unfortunately, cash and checks are virtually archaic to me.* *I remember seeing a gal in front of me writing a check for her groceries, and i was tempted to make a smart ass comment "People still use those?".

Anyway, i'm all electronic, I use credit/debit cards , i buy most of the things i need online (except groceries), i bank online, any/all investments i have are handled online.* If i do go to the stores, i go through those fast checkouts whenever possible where you do it yourself and i use a credit card.* *Its just faster.* * BUT i'm in a savings mindset anyway, so the cash trick just isnt going to help me much more than i'm already doing.
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Re: Need tips for training my spouse.
Old 09-04-2005, 09:50 PM   #64
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Re: Need tips for training my spouse.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Caroline
You are a gentleman as well as a scholar, Nords!
Hey, you were in the Navy, you know I'm only a gentleman by an act of Congress. Ironically my spouse is also a gentleman by an act of Congress.

Quote:
Originally Posted by azanon
Johnnym - the cheese was just a minute example.* *Holistically, i can buy a week's worth of grocerys for about 80 bucks, she does so for about 120.* So, yeah i know, if i dont like it, then i should buy the groceries.* *I agree with that.
Well, that's one answer to one symptom. I guess I'm glad that I missed ten days of this thread.

I think that the entire problem's solution lies in having a spouse whose goals are more closely matched to yours. Ideally that's the spouse you're married to now. "Training" won't do anything but raise the level of competition. OTOH finding something that she's willing to save for, even to put up with cheap cheese & brownbag lunches for, will get the two of you pulling at the same harness in the same direction. The challenge is figuring out how to have enough brainstorming discussions with her to discover what motivates her...

... but I've learned from watching Dr. Phil that you shouldn't go on that show without at least one hankie in your pocket.
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