Pent up demand from Saving "Too Much" ??

[jollystomper]

My Dad always told me "save first, but don't forget to have fun". Life is a balance. Even in LBYM mode we set aside a "fun" budget so that we can do whatever we what without concern. So we spend that money guilt free, knowing that we are still saving and meeting our FIRE targets.

The one thing I am trying not to do is get "clutter". So I try to balance new things with getting rid of older stuff. I definitely do not want to end up in "hoarding" mode.

 

[floridanurse]

It's an amount small enough not to change your life in the long term.

Remember, you can always resell the items!

Sometimes I have bought things and sold them a year later and have never regretted it. I got to experience the enjoyment of having them. Then the thrill wore off and my desire for the money was greater than my desire for the item and I sold it.

You pay money for a vacation experience. You pay money for the experience you get from the collectibles. Same thing.

 

[Elbata]

Go for it.

Within my own world, I've got all that I need. Today, working out at the gym I looked out at all the people and I thought, my shirt is the nicest shirt here.

Both shirt and shorts from Goodwill. And seriously, I liked my outfit the most. Time, health and no money worries are important items that make me content.

But if you feel you've been scrimping for too long, go have some fun and don't feel guilty about it. Enjoy, you've certainly earned it.

 

[Meadbh]

This week I attended a social event at the home of a friend who has been ER for some years (with a DB pension). Her home is larger, very comfortable and more elaborate than mine and is filled with tasteful ornamentation in a reproduction baroque style (lots of gold and glass). She collects clocks (one of which chimes every 15 minutes). She ornaments a modern chandelier by hanging crystal glasses with chips on it (which must be taken down every year for polishing). I kept thinking how many years of work went into buying all that "stuff" and how much maintenance it takes to keep it clean and organized. And how I would never get to sleep with those clocks constantly chiming!

I have a few favourite things that are significant in my life or remind me of great vacations, but I am simply not in the same league. One item on my To Do list for 2014 is to purge my storage locker of things I really should have disposed of when I moved. I am afraid my friend will be very disappointed when she visits my relatively spartan abode.

 

[butterfly]

Ask yourself if having an extra $10k, $15k or even $25k when you're 80 is worth passing up buying something that will make your life happier, richer and more enjoyable now?

It is a very common question on ER.org whether someone is saving too much. If you have to ask, you probably are. LBYM can be "addictive" in a sense - you're "buying" your freedom. The faster you buy it, the better, right? WRONG Once you have a plan to become FIRE, and that plan contains a specific savings goal and time frame for achieving it, you have to let yourself be free to spend whatever extra you have to enjoy life *now*.

The secret to healthy LBYM is how [-]much[/-] you save.

I agree with this. BUT I also think that you need to take the time to decide what is important enough to you to sacrifice FI for. (for a little longer, anyway).
For us, it was travel. International and domestic. We would not sacrifice that at all because we would be miserable and would rather keep working and travel than work for 10,15,20 years before we could do it again.

Are the things you want to purchase going to bring you happiness or are you just looking to replace "stuff" now you have the money?

I have found the becoming FI has made me ask myself some touch questions.

 

[halv45]

Thanks for all the comments. I’ve thought a LOT about this and the comments made here in the last week.

A few responses to the comments:

Selling later on – I’ve bought and sold more things over the years than I care to admit. Once time I was showing off my new purchase to my kids they even told me once “so what, you’ll just end up selling it eventually.” And I did.

I even tried buying gold coins as an investment because I figured it was something I could collect and it’s still an “investment”. I bought and sold $1000s of dollars worth of coins over the past 5 years and never hung onto them long. I even tried storing them in a safety deposit box 40 miles away.

As a matter of fact, before I was married I became a minimalist on a few occasions selling everything of value only keeping the basics. In a way it’s a great feeling not being tied to “stuff”, then again I think “why am I working”? Besides health insurance anyway. J

I was reminded when my kids were very young I used to spend money. I was a competitive shooter (trap, skeet, practical pistol etc) and I would spend money on that. But then I’d wear old jeans or socks forever. J Now, I don’t even spend money on that as it’s gotten VERY expensive to compete.

Make the budget, figure out what you need to save for retirement, then you can spend the rest.
I agree, but finding that balance is tough. I mean, how much should that emergency fund really be? Is saving 10% for retirement enough? What about the kids college? Should I save for my next car even though the one I have may last awhile?

Spending on experiences – maybe I’m a simple man, but Europe, Disney World and all that isn’t appealing. I did take a trip this past winter, and honestly, it was just ok at best. Our family does a lot, but it’s usually fairly economical things.

My wife says I do things “on the cheap”. That’s not necessarily a dig from her, but I see this at times. She says why do you buy used stuff on Craigslist? Just buy new and you’ll know it will work.

Here’s another weird thing: over the past 10 years, we’ve made attempts to buy a new house. For whatever reason, we always get outbid, we can’t sell our house, someone steps in front of our offer etc. It’s like something is working against me to spend money, even the times I want to.

I don’t know. I seem to get in these modes where I want to have stuff, but then somehow the universe won’t let it happen.

 

[2B]

My wife and I agreed to each get $220 / month to spend however we wish. Either one of us can raise that so that we don't feel resentment, but neither of us have yet.

DW and I have a $1,000 per item limit where we don't need to discuss the purchase with the other before buying it. Neither of us follow this rule. We'll each bring up anything more than about $100 before we buy it. We don't have a detailed discussion but its more a "I'm looking at this. What do you think?" When she buys something for $30 I'll usually hear about it the first chance she gets. This excludes the normal gas, groceries, etc. we spend on every month. We also don't buy very much other than normal purchases. I'm always pushing for vacations.

 

[NW-Bound]

Yes, as a frugal LBYM'er, I did have pent-up demand. In 2003, when I saw my father on his deathbed with a feeding tube, I realized that I'd better enjoy life then, and not wait until I was fully retired. I was working way too hard up until then.

So, while already downshifting to working part-time and with my wife having a lot of vacation time (she was with her megacorp for 25+ years then), I said my goal was to have two foreign trips a year (2 weeks each), and two domestic trips (1 week each) a year. This, we kept up for about 3 years. Then, I decided that I wanted a 2nd home, and paid more for it than my main home.

I have slowed down now in my spending. Too much travel and it becomes a chore, unless I spring for 1st class, but I cringe at the cost of that. The 2nd home is still nice, but that takes time and money for maintenance, plus I started to get into RV'ing.

I thought I had enough "stuff", and that was even before I got sick and needed some long-term treatment. Now, I do not crave anything, though my portfolio is a lot higher than when I bought that 2nd home.

My son recently bought an Audi S4 with some fancy options that he was proud of, and when I looked at it, all I could see was another thing that had to be kept clean and pampered. Oh well, he's young, makes good money without any other financial obligation, so I told him that it's OK to enjoy a car when he still cares about it. We do not care that we drive older generic cars and people do not know that I get more joy out of looking at my 7-figure portfolio on Quicken each day.

 

[MRG]

OP, I think they call people like you =normal.

It's a luxury I've never had. Enjoy.

MRG

 

[Sesq]

Will you feel the same about your desire to have stuff if your job situation got worse? I wonder if your appetite increased because the house is paid off and the fear generator (unemployment) slackened.

That said, I think you should enjoy your success. I remember when my great aunt passed my great uncle was taken to a local, midlevel steakhouse after the funeral by my parents because he always wanted to go and his wife had insisted they couldn't afford it. My parents treated, but they later helped him with the estate and all that. My great aunt who was concerned about a couple of $20 steaks had a passbook savings account with over $50K in it (1980s).

If you won't spend it yourself, put a wishlist together and let your wife (or kids) buy the stuff for you on birthdays. May be harder to sell if it was a gift.