Poll: Facebook friends

[RonBoyd]

When I first "joined" Facebook, I figured maybe a dozen Friends would be added. It quickly grew to fifty... then 100 and now is at 146. This despite my best efforts to keep the list to "important" folks. I have not added anyone in perhaps two years by being very strict in vetting candidates. Still finding the number was 146 (as a result of this poll) surprised me... who'd a thunk I could round up that many people considered close enough to be called a friend.

Because we travel so much, we see most of them (90%?) quite regularly.

[David1961]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 48Fire Why have friends on Facebook that you have never met?

Generally, we either have mutual friends or we have a similar interest/hobby.
Several are spouses or children of distant relatives. Some I "met" on a Facebook group and based on our posts, just became friends that way.
I have become more careful who I become friends with though.

[RonBoyd]

I have never "met" anyone from this Forum. Nevertheless, I would not be afraid to "Friend" any of you. I have no desire to but would not consider it unusual or strange if it did happen.

[athena53]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadpole Two things that will get a person dropped from my list are chauvinism (disrespectful photos) and linking other people's posters. I hate the poster format of communication.

I hate posters/pictures, too. I have some contacts who seem to spend all day reposting pictures of flowers, bunnies, kitties, sunsets, etc. with sappy sentiments, and clicking Like on other posts or pages. I can count on one hand the number of times I've shared a post, and I never click on "Like". If it's interesting enough I'll comment. If you want some great reasons not to Like, say Amen and name a state that doesn't have "e" in its name, check this article.

Don't click 'like' on Facebook again until you read this

To get back to the OT: I have 245 friends. Many are former coworkers and a large number of those are in India, Switzerland and other far-flung areas. I may never see them in person again. Others are former HS classmates- it's a good group and getting back in touch with them gave me the guts to go to the 45th reunion (HS years not that great). I had such a good time I'm going to the 45th later this year. Another group is relatives all over the US- I would have lost touch with many of them without FB even though I'm a good letter-writer.

I've disconnected from only two people. One did nothing but post awful, artery-clogging recipes (Millionaire Spaghetti Pie, e.g. ). The other, even though I thought we were similarly intelligent in grade school/HS, is HIGHLY emotional over one particular issue and will not employ reason (or respond to it) in discussions. I felt much better after I disconnected from her.

[hnzw_rui]

I don't have a lot of Facebook "friends". All of my FB friends are either family/relatives or high school classmates. The relatives, I get to see whenever we go on vacation to the Philippines so that's 50% of my FB friends right there. The other 10+% are my best friends and close friends from HS.

[jIMOh]

I live far away from many of the people I know well- family and close/old family friends. And I am rarely connecting on FB with people I work with...

so the people I see everyday are not the people which see my FB
and I am trying to minimize how much FB I use as well.

[RonBoyd]

Quote:

Originally Posted by athena53 ... gave me the guts to go to the 45th reunion (HS years not that great). I had such a good time I'm going to the 45th later this year.

Ground Hog Day?

[MBAustin]

I have 182 friends, mostly from our church or one of the nonprofits I have volunteered with for the past 10 years. No college friends, but a handful from elementary and high school - I hadn't seen most of them in 20 years but saw a few at our 40th reunion last year. Only one person that I haven't ever met - he saw me posting on a page related to our (very small) hometown and turns out he used to live in the house that my grandmother was raised in and had some items of hers that he wanted to mail to me. (No one from the extended family still lives in the area.) Very sweet.

[Sarah in SC]

MB, that story reminds me of definitely the weirdest friend request I got, from a guy in Australia. He'd had a summer romance decades earlier with a lady that shares my first and maiden name and hometown, and wanted to know if I was her. She's a bit older than me, but I was happy to put him in touch with her, as we'd crossed paths before (weirdly, we also share the same birth month and day). And no, she didn't run off and hook up with him again, though that would have added some sauce to my story.

[athena53]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RonBoyd Ground Hog Day?

Oops. Went to the 40th, planning to attend the 45th.

Forgot to mention- two of my FB contacts are deceased. In one case the family deliberately kept the page open and just yesterday they were posting because it was her birthday. Not sure why the other is still active other than the legwork involved. I had my late Ex's profile removed from LinkedIn because it just seemed weird that it was still there. I also sent a note to a couple of his contacts that I knew.

[EvrClrx311]

I signed up for Facebook way back in 2004... when it was restricted to college e-mail addresses and linked everyone through their HS classes. It was very common at the time to friend everyone from your HS class (mine had 550). At one point facebook even established these friendships by default, without you even clicked accept (funny to think the public lashing they would get today for doing that). Every year or so I will prune some more out of my list, but I still have A LOT of them that I haven't seen in 15 years... I'm at about 400 friends (maybe half of those are still from that initial HS class mix), and maybe only 60-80 of my friends on FB I see on a yearly basis.

This poll is an interesting one. It really got me thinking. What is the point to having someone on facebook who I haven't seen in a decade? Maybe a cousin who lives overseas... but that random pal from HS who I might see once or twice the rest of my life at reunions. What's the point?

One final point I like to make to people is... it seems over the years facebook has become a place that people think they own. It's their data and their photos and their ideas. I am constantly reminding folks that Facebook is a place you GIVE that stuff away to. Sure they give you the false sense of privacy by allowing you to check some boxes however the company could actually just release it all at any point if they wanted. It would be PR suicide to do so, however the point is it's not your data... it belongs to them.

Lessons for my daughters as they get older... anything you post online is public domain, even if you think it isn't.

[txtig]

I don't have any Facebook friends that I haven't seen in the last five years. But, then, I have no Facebook friends period. No Facebook account either. So, I can't figure if the answer to the question is 100% or 0%.

[RonBoyd]

Penelope Trunk posted an article to day on "How to look younger for your career" by different age groups. I thought this would fit into this discussion on Facebook.

Quote:

Speak their language. Let’s call this generational code switching. If you’re in your 40s you could try doing a lot less work at work. The Economist reports that after polling representatives of all three generations, it turns out that Gen Xers (entering their 40s) work much harder than Millennials (entering their 30s). If you’re in your 50s you can fake people out by wearing a Bernie Sanders sticker, because old people like Hillary. If you’re in your 30s you could try ditching Facebook and act like the younger generation that thinks Facebook is stupid. <my emphasis>

[braumeister]

Alas, I found myself in the 20-40% group, actually closer to 20 than 40, so I took this post as a prompt to clean some of the deadwood out of my Friends list.

Now close to 40% that I've seen and talked with in the last five years, but still not great. One of these days I'll clean it out some more.

I spend an average of 20-30 minutes a week on Facebook, so I don't get to see much of the drivel people post. OTOH, DW spends that much per day on it and loves keeping up with friends that way. Different strokes.

[Lakedog]

Quote:

Originally Posted by txtig I don't have any Facebook friends that I haven't seen in the last five years. But, then, I have no Facebook friends period. No Facebook account either. So, I can't figure if the answer to the question is 100% or 0%.

+1

[sengsational]

Although I've got nearly 300 FB linkages, I'm still in the 80%+ category. I joined primarily because club event notices were posted there.

Over 1/4 of the 300 are family, and given reunions and funerals, I've seen pretty much all of them within the last 5 years (there are still a few dead ones in there though).

40% are people I've seen recently from the social events I attend (clubs) that haven't moved away, or lost interest in the clubs.

35% are people I probably will never see again(PNSA), but only about half of those are older than 5 years, so the answer to the poll came in at 85% in the last 5 years.

Of the PNSA, there are one or two that I've never met in person, and a couple of high school friends. But the majority of the PNSA crowd were previous club members that fell-out. The rest were people I met traveling and we exchanged pictures. Facebook doesn't load me with those folks' posts, but when it does give me one, usually it's interesting (they're traveling again). I don't toss these aside...you never know when you'll need some local G2, and having people all over the place that remember you and that you can ask about something in their geography is kind of nice.

[ugeauxgirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by txtig I don't have any Facebook friends that I haven't seen in the last five years. But, then, I have no Facebook friends period. No Facebook account either. So, I can't figure if the answer to the question is 100% or 0%.

Me either. My husband is on facebook- has been for a few years, and I have seen nothing on his page that makes me want to have one. I'm just private I guess. I stay in touch with my friends by calling them or actual visits IN PERSON.

[Amethyst]

I get such a kick out of the occasional funny or beautiful things that people post, it's worth scrolling past the many screeds and piles of drivel. Being a fast scanner/reader helps.

For example: A cousin retired recently and now posts dozens of sappy homilies and "what kind of dog were you in a previous life" posts every day. It's worth scrolling past this nonsense, just to see the family photos and news she also posts.

I've only unfriended one person for posts that went beyond my particular pale. My pale is pretty high, so it takes a lot to go beyond it. But somehow, she managed.

Amethyst

[Amethyst]

Fortunately, being on social media doesn't rule these out

Quote:

Originally Posted by ugeauxgirl I stay in touch with my friends by calling them or actual visits IN PERSON.

[Dash man]

Most of my Facebook friends are family, and a few old high school or Air Force friends. I mainly enjoy seeing the family photos that are posted. I've blocked a few as the election season brings out the loons.