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Preparation & discipline....
Old 11-15-2008, 02:25 PM   #1
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Preparation & discipline....

Just getting to the point of seeing our goal....still a bit further to climb. Preparation has good finances in place...no debt at all and 4.5 semesters of college left for child in school now. Best thing we did was go independent with health insurance. Carry our own...a high deductible plan with HSA. Have enough in HSA for 3+ years of paying deductible. Will maintain just fine until 65 unless for some reason we simply can't afford the premiums. Could always increase deductible. Save, save, save...that's our mantra...just over 50 and goal to move to FL in next few years. Now...what to do with family issues...elderly parents still in own homes for now... What if they don't agree with our ER and move South? How to deal with possible guilt of leaving them behind while our dream of ER in FL begins Any input welcome!!! Thanks. :confused:
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Old 11-15-2008, 07:35 PM   #2
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Been having similar (if closer) issues. We moved out to the ocean, leaving my mom 5 hours away, and daughter and grandaughter 3.5 hrs away. My advice, do it. Deal with the guilt in between the great pleasure you will have in living your dream. Budget if you can to have them visit you often, and hopefully they'll be converted over time. In our case it's occasionally been hard, but it's better to try than to feel resentful.

Of course, if they are in poor health or dependent on you, that's a different story. But if they are still healthy and happy then go for it, and deal with the issues as they come up. Good luck, and congratulations on getting close to ER.
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Old 11-15-2008, 08:30 PM   #3
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It might help with the family dynamics to explore a few plausible situations for them which would involve moving closer to you in Florida. That way, you can tell them that you would love to have them close, and here are some communities, schools, jobs, etc. which look pretty good, would they like to look into it, etc.

If they take you up on it, great - maybe they were just waiting for the go-ahead. But if they choose to stay where they are, at least is was their choice, and you did reach out to them.
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As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
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Old 11-16-2008, 06:26 AM   #4
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Perhaps rent a place before buying to see how it works out for you? A relative of mine moved to FL, then found their kids in their 30's just didn't have time/money to keep visiting there so they moved back to VA. Some move from FL north to the Carolinas - locals call them "halfbacks". They moved halfway back.

My original retirement plan was to put the snow thrower in the back of the pickup truck and drive south until people starting asking what that machine was for. DW had other ideas (stay within an hour of family) and in hindsight she was right. She would not have been able to deal with the guilt of being so far away from her father now that he needs the help that we can offer being only 35 minutes away. That issue will hopefully be resolved by spring when his house is sold and he moves to a retirement community.
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No more snow!
Old 12-13-2008, 09:44 PM   #5
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No more snow!

After having already had too much snow and ice and cold weather this year why in the world are we still fighting it? ER to a warm climate soon! I love the idea of having someone not knowing what a snowblower is!!

Anyway....even with the worst economy and worst investment climate in maybe 70 years we are having our best year ever with earnings. My wife and I seem to have hit the good luck $$$ wagon this year with a few very good deals and payoffs coming in so cash is at an all time high in taxable accounts and non taxable accounts are falling apart due to market meltdowns.

Best thing we have is our own health insurance that we can go anywhere with....now....need to get the student through 5 semesters more of college, come to terms with elderly parent situation, and then get out of the snow!!!

Let's hope the economy turns soon for all of us....
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Old 12-14-2008, 10:31 AM   #6
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I moved to Florida in 1995 and left behind an aging mother who had a decent support system and my daughter who was a college student . The guilt was overwhelming plus I really missed my family . I did visit frequently but it's never enough . I helped out my Mother by hiring a companion to assist her . My daughter graduated from college and was not settled so at that time it was okay with lots of visits . She is now married and I've become a grandmother . The draw of that baby is immense . My sister has just moved to Florida and brought my Mother with her . My Mother is driving my sister crazy and my Mother now has no friends and no activities so she just lays guilt on my sister . So I guess what I ' m saying is think long and hard about this move and if possible just spend winters in a warm climate . Relocating elderly parents is not easy and not being around grandchildren is too hard . On a positive note I'd like to add that real estate is dirt cheap right now so it's a great time to buy in Florida .
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Thanks...
Old 12-14-2008, 07:05 PM   #7
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Thanks...

Thanks for the input....yes, a big decision but we really don't like the idea of living 6 months in one place and 6 months in another, etc. Kind of like building relationships and being all in one place. With one in college yet and no other children we'll never be able to chase around to be close so we think and hope to be able to afford the trips to visit vs. trying to live in 2 places but we'll see. With any luck we might all end up not too far apart! In our case very small family and not too much to worry about being in contact with other than elderly parents. Oh, well....any other input is welcome!
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Old 12-14-2008, 07:50 PM   #8
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Sorry my post was kind of a downer . Do you have other siblings ? I luckily have two sisters who lived not too far from my Mom so we divided the duties . I contributed financially while they contributed physically . I was also the one ( since I was a nurse )to take charge during any surgery . I'd fly up and stay for as long as necessary . My daughter & I worked it out by frequent visits and shared vacations . So it can be done !
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We do have hope...big choices will need to be made
Old 12-21-2008, 11:31 AM   #9
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We do have hope...big choices will need to be made

No issue....not a downer....just good input and a big set of decisions will need to be made before we actually throw in the towel and move away from the cold, snow, ice, etc. to seek at least a tolerable climate and then decide who and how much we will work or not. No...no other siblings to share any duties or chores and only 1 child so at least not traveling to both coasts! Anyway...we'll keep reading, thinking, and calculating the numbers to see what ends up as our choice. Thanks for the input!
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Old 12-21-2008, 02:41 PM   #10
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Lots of options with different virtues and costs. Gal's Mom is 94 and 1000 miles away in the house she & deceased husband built & moved into back around '82. Beautiful location in the desert and she is real used to it. Habit makes it possible for her to maintain a fair amount of independence. We have someone there overnight and Gal goes south almost every month for 2 weeks or so to do doctor visits, load pill envelopes, pay bills, do (lots of) maintenance and generally allow her Mom to keep up the fiction that she is fully independent. Gal's sister has set conditions under which she would provide care - conditions which would be miserable to live under. We feel that by the time someone gets to 90 or so they sort of get a golden ticket - that feeling is helped by the Mom being a sweetheart. So care has devolved to the gal. Moving the Mom to Oregon would take her from her well established paths & i suspect she would kick off pretty fast. Providing long distance care is costly in time, money, & relationship, but worth it to us. 'Course we don't have kids to think of, just ourselves. Looking back at the time leading up to my Mom's death, i don't regret time & $ spent on her - there is a certain satisfaction in doing the best one can. When the gal's Mom goes i don't expect there will be any regrets.
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