Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Re: Saving methods
Old 08-11-2004, 05:52 AM   #21
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,072
Re: Saving methods

I'll chime in here as well--it is to your advantage to try and make a marriage work--for many reasons one big one being financial - HOWEVER, if there is a large divergence in your beliefs and values regarding money, there will be a tough row to hoe in the future.

My personal experience and mantra: ER and how I view money (aka control of my time) are very important to me and would be a relationship maker or breaker or what I call in life a non-negotiable. For some it might be smoking or sports or food or whatever they value.

Off-topic: I use non-negotiables in my travel as well. If I am traveling with someone to somewhere, there is usually something I want to see. For example, I was in Berlin for a weekend, there were 2 non-negotiables, the Reichstag and the Walking tour - I didn't care whatever else we did. My companions could either do what they wish then or come along when I went--in this case, they said those were the best things of the trip :-)

Deserat
__________________

__________________
Deserat aka Bridget
“We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.” - George Orwell/Winston Churchill
deserat is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Re: Saving methods
Old 08-11-2004, 07:14 AM   #22
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
brewer12345's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 16,391
Re: Saving methods

Guess I must have touched a nerve here. Sorry, guys, but I absolutely don't understand the immediate, almost reflexive turn towards notions of divorce as soon as there is a disagreement. The OP was talking about he and his wife not quite seeing eye to eye, not irreconcilable differences. Sheesh!
__________________

__________________
"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."



- Will Rogers
brewer12345 is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Saving methods
Old 08-11-2004, 08:10 AM   #23
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 252
Re: Saving methods

Quote:
Guess I must have touched a nerve here. *Sorry, guys, but I absolutely don't understand the immediate, almost reflexive turn towards notions of divorce as soon as there is a disagreement. *The OP was talking about he and his wife not quite seeing eye to eye, not irreconcilable differences. *Sheesh!
I think it is more that, if there is going to be a divorce, do it *now* and get it over with, rather than wait until the OP was close to ER, and then seeing his nest egg vanish in a divorce.
__________________
Whakamole is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Saving methods
Old 08-11-2004, 09:18 PM   #24
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,505
Re: Saving methods

Ive been reading all this, but should probably jump in here to clear up the issue about the marriage; She's a wonderful girl in many regards and personally its not as bad as maybe i made it sound. I am the one in charge of the finances. Its just that sometimes she's not excited about my level of saving, as I said ealier. I dont suspect for a moment that her level of discontent is actually brewing to an eventual point that she'd leave me over it. If anything, i make up most of the extra savings slack by being the frugal one where's she's not.

If push came a shove, i could back down from 15% gross to 10% to make her happy. She is more important, if i'm eventually forced to choose. At my level of savings I have already, such a drop would only delay my retirement about 4 years or so anyway because of the exponential power that time has on a smaller savings sum.
__________________
azanon is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Saving methods
Old 08-12-2004, 04:25 AM   #25
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Saving methods

Once I decided to quit, I wouldn't have delayed my retirement 4 weeks, much less 4 years, wife or no wife.
But, that's just me. It's an acquired taste.

John Galt
__________________
  Reply With Quote
Re: Saving methods
Old 08-12-2004, 05:18 AM   #26
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,505
Re: Saving methods

Nah, its just an issue of priorities. ER is high for me, but the wife is higher. Its not either or though, I can retire earlier than most people even despite the wife. Marriage is about compromise, and with saying that, clearly marriage isnt for everyone.
__________________
azanon is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Saving methods
Old 08-12-2004, 08:52 AM   #27
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Hyperborea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 1,008
Re: Saving methods

Quote:
I am the one in charge of the finances. *Its just that sometimes she's not excited about my level of saving, as I said ealier.
Have you tried to involve her in the finances? *My wife used to think that this ER stuff was insane but I got her involved in the financial decisions and planning. That along with the growing investment portfolio convinced her.

You could start by letting her look after the day to day stuff - paying the bills. *We have some friends of ours where the wife has no idea of the finances (even day to day bills) and money is just spent like water with no idea of the value of things nor how long her husband worked to get that money.

Quote:
If anything, i make up most of the extra savings slack by being the frugal one where's she's not.
That could be very hard to do. You're not talking about a lot of slack if it's 10-15% of $80K. You really need to get her on board or if that's not possible then I've heard that some handle this with a budgeted "mad money" for the spendthrift in the relationship (it's not always the wife).
__________________

__________________
Hyperborea is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
When did you start seriously saving. rw86347 Young Dreamers 75 07-02-2007 11:52 AM
Saving too much? Eagle43 FIRE and Money 62 01-29-2007 11:15 AM
Saving for early retirement: the point of diminishing returns Silhan FIRE and Money 17 05-15-2006 12:49 PM
"What are you saving for?" redux Nords Life after FIRE 60 05-17-2005 07:14 PM
If we're ER'd, why are we saving? Nords Life after FIRE 29 12-03-2004 02:17 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:32 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.