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Old 07-30-2015, 09:31 AM   #21
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I would not charge her rent if you feel that she is earnestly looking for full time work. On the other hand, I would expect her to find a part time job to cover her personal expenses. When I moved back home at age 32 to go back to school for a new career, that is what I did. Lived rent free, worked part time, and took undergraduates classes full time.

As to graduate school, I can only relate that at my megacorp, which is an international company, I have not seen anybody really get ahead because of an advanced degree. I would only invest in graduate school if she/you can directly tie it to better job opportunities.

What is her work history like? If it's thin, it could be that she needs to down shift her expectations and look for very entry level work to demonstrate to prospective employers that she has a good work ethic. Does she have any foreign language skills? Perhaps that is something that she could work on, or build up, while she's trying to find her dream job.

Cheer up, the job market is not tight anymore. Initial jobless claims fell to 255,000 last week, the lowest level since 1973. Weekly new unemployment claims have stayed below 300,000 for the most part for a year now. That figure is consistent with labor market growth. Of course, I don't know how that macro economic metric plays out in your daughter's chosen career.

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Old 07-30-2015, 09:46 AM   #22
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I think as long as she is making progress forward and being a good roomy I would not charge her rent. However I would be ready in implement that if she moves back into kid mode. I doubt that would be the case though.

My oldest son will be a HS senior this year. This summer he is working for the DoD as a low grade civilian on an intern program. He is doing shipping and receiving. They have asked him to come back next summer and told him that during college in the summers he can work there. Not sure what the future will hold on the job market but the focus now is building his resume so when the time comes at least he has some experience.

Good luck to her as something will fall into place.


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Old 07-30-2015, 09:53 AM   #23
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Has she considered the Peace Corps? I mean, the degree is International Studies. Let's put some meat on that degree and then get another job later.

I had a friend do that when we were in college. I was conventional, he wasn't. He did the Peace Corps, then liked living abroad so much, he moved to a different country for another 2 years and taught English. He made a BOATLOAD of money doing that, while still living very simply. (After college and P.C., he never got the rich itch.)

So, that was a 4 year distraction, but when he got back, he landed great jobs thereafter and is in good shape now, 25 years later.
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Old 07-30-2015, 10:11 AM   #24
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^ Peace Corp or State Dept
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Old 07-30-2015, 10:51 AM   #25
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Sounds like degree in International Studies is about as useful as a history degree.

I looked at the pdf an earlier poster linked, its very fluffy as many of the jobs listed require extra different qualifications: ex International Lawyer (probably need a law degree too).
Interpretor/Translator (full fluency in a few languages needed).
etc. etc..

So do NOT waste money sending her for a grad degree in further uselessness.

There are degrees that lead to good paying jobs, maybe she has some natural ability/interest in one of those areas, her existing degree will count credits towards a new undergrad degree so she might only have to go 2 more years to have a "real" degree. (nursing, programming, chemistry, etc)
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Old 07-30-2015, 10:54 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by Big_Hitter View Post
What about a gubmit jerb with the foreign service? ....................

The State Department is always hiring. , but be advised, this kind of thing is , uh, " Interesting "( strange) work. Not suitable for most people.

What was her proposed career path when entering college ?
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Old 07-30-2015, 10:55 AM   #27
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A lot depends on whether or not she is determined to work in her field of study, or just selected it as a concentration for a liberal arts degree.

DD graduated with a degree in international studies in 2011 when jobs were scarce. She had joined the school newspaper staff as a photographer and worked her way up to editor. That experience helped her land some internships after graduation - first unpaid, then low-paid - which then led to a part-time communications position with a non-profit, which eventually became full-time.

FWIW, she said that she was much more prepared for a position involving communications than folks with actual communications or English degrees because of the critical analysis and persuasive writing required by her classes and thesis, as well as her newspaper experience. But it was hard to get in the door without the "right" degree at first, which is where the internships came in handy.

She now works for The Economist Group in NYC and loves it.
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Old 07-30-2015, 11:12 AM   #28
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Cherry picking the above posts, if no real job shows up in a few months:

1. Peace Corps (we had a nephew who did a tour and it was beneficial)
2. Military (not a bad place, good benefits, especially out of combat zones)
3. Government job (the real prize these days)

I would not waste money on a graduate degree in that field.

Note to frugalscholar above: oil companies are not looking for new petroleum engineering grads and paying them megabucks these days.
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Old 07-30-2015, 11:36 AM   #29
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It is not unusual for college grads to move back home these days. Almost half do:

Exactly How Many College Graduates Live Back at Home - The Atlantic

I would suggest she look at grad school or community college certificate programs for job skills that are in demand - trades, IT, healthcare or something along those lines. Let her decide as long as it is something that leads to be financially self supporting in a year and no more than two. I would not charge rent in the mean time and provide even spending money if she is going to school and being active in career or non-profit type clubs, doing volunteer work or whatever to build up her resume with more marketable skills.

A couple of the resources we always used with our kids were the job outlook handbook and payscale salary reports:

Home : Occupational Outlook Handbook: : U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics

PayScale Salary Reports

We told our kids if for some reason they do not get jobs after college they can live at home and get some specific training from programs like the Berkeley extension:

I did that when I wanted to go back to more technical work so I could work from home after being in management for years and it worked out great.

Many of our kids' friends that have graduated, have pretty decent paying jobs and are self supporting have degrees / or supplemental skills in fields like finance, engineering, IT or CS. If she is not a math / logic kind of person maybe a business analyst masters or certificate program would be a way to work in IT without needing intensive programming skills.

I agree with others that if this is the worst problem you have with one of your kids you should thank your lucky stars.
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Old 07-30-2015, 01:03 PM   #30
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Home is a good place to regroup and plan the next assault. But she needs to be honest with herself:
Is your hometown a place where there are jobs? More importantly, jobs in her field (internationally minded companies, global charities, global websites)? If not, making a move after three months might be best. Does she have the skills people are looking for (language, web)? If not, learning them is a path. Why did she chose that degree - what future did she want then and what can she do to make that a reality?

I graduated with a focus on a world geographic region in the early 80s - also a tough time. I started (as one poster suggested) teaching English in my region, earned enough for graduate school and then got me on a path that now has me FIREd. But changing location after graduation and deepening my language skills were pretty key to that happening.

Encourage her to be brave; don't put her in the defensive by showing your fear and unhappiness at the situation so clearly.

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Old 07-30-2015, 04:05 PM   #31
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She'll be fine... her job is now to find a job and who knows where in the world that new job will be. I agree with others that there is no need to focus on ER... first things first, get a job, get the best experience you can get, get a place to live, work hard, look towards that next rung of the ladder, save some, etc.

I think it is way too early to go to grad school unless there is a good reason for going to grad school, and as an escape is not a good enough reason.

When DS lived at home we charged him $400 per month rent but he was working. We told him that he would get it back when he moved out. As the balance builds, the incentive to move out increases. It worked for us.

Since your DS isn't working, I'm not sure how practical charging rent would be unless you think she is taking advantage of your generosity in offing her a place to live and isn't looking for a job hard enough.
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Old 07-30-2015, 07:06 PM   #32
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Anecdotally, I've heard of many students with good degrees and good academic records spending months (over a year sometimes) living back home after graduation while looking for a first job. Often the catalyst is getting any job, even part-time, which then leads to a full-time job interview for a lesser job and having a full-time lesser job gets interviews and interest for the full-time entry level career job that was unfindable immediately after graduation. It can take some time.
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Old 07-30-2015, 07:15 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by oscar1 View Post
Do I charge room and board to motivate?
I had a friend who was in the same situation with his kids. He charged a reasonable price for room and board when two of his kids moved back home after college, and secretly saved that money to give them when they eventually moved out to help them get started.

But then if they moved back home a second time, he charged rent and was NOT giving it back!
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Old 07-30-2015, 07:51 PM   #34
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International Studies? Is she also fluent in several languages besides English?
The worst decisions are usually made in times of anger and impatience.
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Old 07-30-2015, 07:58 PM   #35
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I would not charge rent either. My daughter, SIL and grand daughter lived with us at different times. Once while he was in the military after they were first married for several months and then we convinced daughter to move back home with baby while he was in Afghanistan for 6 months and finally for a short time after he got out of the military. We never charged any rent and never considered it. They have been married for 8 years, have 2 children, 2 fairly new cars and have bought some new furniture and some used. They are in the process of selling their home, since they just moved out of state. The only time they have been in debt was buying the house. They have always saved and paid cash for their vehicles and furniture. They use credit cards and pay them off every month. I think they have made smart decisions and I am proud of them.

Give her a chance and see how she can surprise you. You have been given a lot of good advice above. I hope that everything works out for her.
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Old 07-30-2015, 10:06 PM   #36
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Been there, done that twice. One kid had graduated but not found a job. The other decided (or, really, the college decided for them) that they did not yet have enough discipline for school.

For DW and I the key was that they remain active looking for a job, or working one or more jobs, and not spend hours hanging around the house (or having their friends hanging around) doing nothing. The rules we had:

- No sleeping late, up and at em by 8AM. Never to early for looking/applying for jobs. We gave them a break on the weekends.
- No late nights during the week, TV/radios/internet off at midnight. You want to stay up and read, that is fine, but remember the early morning rule.
- Without a full-time job, there is no part time job you are too good for.
- You drive mom and dad's cars, you contribute to our insurance. You have a car, you pay your own insurance. Can't afford your insurance or to contribute to mom or dad? Welcome to the world of bicycling.
- Friends can come by but you need our permission. Remember - mom and dad's house, mom and dad's rules.
- We did not charge rent for the first year, BUT they had chores. If they were still around after a year a rent would be charged based on their earnings (which we would rebate them when they moved out)
- As an incentive to move out, we would pay their security deposit and 1st months rent.
- If you can't abide by these rules, feel free to find your own place, or friends to live with.

Both kids were out working and earning enough to live on there own within a year (each got together with friends to share an apartment). One did move back after a couple of years, but for an acceptable reason, he was working but had been accepted to a graduate studies program, and moved back in for 6 months primarily to save more money (in fact he had TWO jobs during that time, we barely saw him).
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Old 07-31-2015, 05:40 AM   #37
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Take her to the Navy recruiter for some free education. The navy takes people with those type degrees and teaches lessons in life, responsibility and maturity. Four years in the Navy will put some bite in her resume. I would not advise submarine service for a female but all other areas would be a lifetime career enhancer.
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Old 07-31-2015, 06:06 AM   #38
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Originally Posted by kitesurfer2 View Post
Take her to the Navy recruiter for some free education. The navy takes people with those type degrees and teaches lessons in life, responsibility and maturity. Four years in the Navy will put some bite in her resume. I would not advise submarine service for a female but all other areas would be a lifetime career enhancer.
Too bad it wasn't done the other way around...Dad wouldn't have had to pay tuition once she got out.

Not to be provocative, but we have some relatives who view the military with great skepticism. Despite offering some careful comments on the positives, one mom said she'd prefer to have her son flip burgers (which he's doing) than join the service. Had nothing to do with the dangers; strangely it was more about the discipline! ("they make you get up too early")
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Old 07-31-2015, 07:37 AM   #39
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Congratulations on your daughter getting her degree--in anything. And I'm glad that her mother's glad to have her there--if just temporarily.

Her job for the time being should be putting in long hours looking for a job. She should not be allowed to sleep late, go shopping with the wife and generally going nowhere. Days turn into weeks which turn into months and years. Like Dr. Phil says, it's her job to find a job--full time job seeking.

I've got an unemployed daughter with two kids, and she moved in with us for 11 months. Our clean house was wrecked, and we couldn't get decent sleep with a kid or two in our beds. I bought them a house as an investment in our mental and physical health. Fortunately, a recent inheritance paid for it.

My close friend's daughter just graduated with a PhD. in Art History from a fine university in England. Her job prospects are about nil. My best friend's son recently graduated from military school, but never took ROTC. Since politics have OCS closed, he went into the Army as an E-4, straight to Ranger school and immediately deployed "to the sand." I just don't understand this generation. They have a whole lot more of growing up to do before they figure out they're going to have to save for retirement.
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Old 07-31-2015, 08:04 AM   #40
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Originally Posted by Chuckanut View Post
International Studies? Is she also fluent in several languages besides English?

DW's ex's brother's daughter, (his wife is Austrian born), is in 'International Business' and speaks about 5 languages.

"Exit, pursued by a bear."

The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
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