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She's Moving Back Home - College Grad - Need Advice!
07-30-2015, 05:24 AM
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#1
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 139
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She's Moving Back Home - College Grad - Need Advice!
My daughter is moving back home after graduating in May with a degree in International Studies but no job. She busted her chops the last 6 months doing a career fair, at least 30 interviews, LinkedIN, etc. 3.0 GPA. Came close on one great position as a social media community manager but after 2 months and 6 interviews they notified her via e-mail that it was not to be. We had downsized our house to be able to afford college and never dreamed she would be moving back home so this is a major shocker for us and her. It's going to really stink around here for awhile (Mom is over joyed! Argh). The kid is in shock but getting a great lesson in life's ups/downs. My worst fear is coming true as I fear she will not start at the bottom of the barrel and never make it high enough to even consider early retirement much less saving 20, 30% to get there. Within a year she'll be competing against the next crop. Should she go to grad school? Do I charge room and board to motivate? How have others in similar situations handled this? Any advice from the group is appreciated?
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07-30-2015, 05:32 AM
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#2
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Twin Cities
Posts: 523
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My son moved in with us in the summer of 2014 after graduating and no job. He did work hard to find one and landed a sales job here in the Twin Cities in August, started in September and moved into his own place November 1.
We didn't charge rent but did expect him to live with some rules - keep house clean, let us know your plans if you won't be home ...
He was very motivated on his own to find a job and move out so there was no need to do something else. I did try doing my own searches at one point and sent him links to jobs on Indeed and CareerBuilder but in the end he found it through a college friend who had landed a job as a headhunter and helped line up the interview that got him in the door.
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07-30-2015, 06:20 AM
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#3
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: On a hill in the Pine Barrens
Posts: 9,669
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Is early retirement one of your daughter's goals? She may not need the pressure right now.
We didn't downsize, so room is not a problem here. But I understand why that is difficult for you.
Each story is different, and it is not always a straight path. One kid did not come back, and set sights westward.
The other had several turns, graduated, and is now more focused. Works full time and still at home in order to save for a property. That is a goal all four of us are supporting.
Our goals and methods have changed quite a bit to support each child.
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07-30-2015, 06:28 AM
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#4
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 265
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As long as they're motivated and trying to get on their feet I wouldn't charge rent. Depending on the degree earned the job market can be extremely difficult to get into and it may take awhile to get there. I found that first step into the real world to be extremely tough to make, even with tons of prep work, great experiences, and a highly desirable degree in accounting. While I didn't have to move back home after college, it was relieving just KNOWING that the offer was there and that my parents trusted me to work hard at landing a job without feeling like they were trying to profit off my difficulties via rent.
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07-30-2015, 06:45 AM
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#5
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 9,037
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I am not familiar with her degree (IS), so to educate myself, I did a search. These results looked interesting.
http://www.txstate.edu/international...isdegree-.html
There is a career guide pdf on the Texas State page that lists links within it on page 3. I copied and pasted the link here.
International Studies-Career Guide(PDF, 225.0 KB)
This guide allows students to explore the different career options within and outside the country.
Another search result...
Portland State Careers | What Can I do With a Degree in International Studies?
I graduated with a BS Physics in 1980, could not find a related job, so I landed an unrelated j*b just to pay the bills. I decided to take some part time courses in Computer Science to round out my resume a bit. That proved to be the key that unlocked the door to finding a j*b. Continuing education courses are always a good thing to have on a resume.
I have no idea what educational level is required for her chosen field, so I cannot comment on the graduate school idea.
It's tough to graduate into a tight j*b market. Maybe she can pinpoint some skills that employers are looking for, so she can take online or classroom courses PT to satisfy the requirements stated in position postings.
Just some brainstorming ideas...Does her alma mater offer any j*b placement services ? Alumni association ? Is she registered with the Department of Labor in your state ? Headhunter companies ?
__________________
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
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07-30-2015, 06:59 AM
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#6
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Les Bois
Posts: 5,761
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What about a gubmit jerb with the foreign service? My FIL was a career foreign service officer.
__________________
You can't be a retirement plan actuary without a retirement plan, otherwise you lose all credibility...
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07-30-2015, 07:02 AM
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#7
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 728
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Starbucks is hiring! And, she can use the work (especially on weekends) so she can job hunt during the week. If her degree has limited employment value she should take advanced classes to enhance employment possibilities. THERE ARE JOBS! Just not the jobs she would like to have.I'd charge her rent, maybe a third of her take home pay from her temporary job....kids will never leave if they have free food and rent. Good luck, I know it's hard to face the unknown.....we all had to do it. but she should humble herself and do what she can and your expectations should be that she should work.....sitting around the house will continue to expand a negative outlook and feelings toward the future.
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07-30-2015, 07:50 AM
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#8
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 8,332
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With a "Mom is overjoyed!" in the equation, you run the risk of the temporary residency running much longer than anticipated.
Friend of mine just had his 40 year old finally move out after a promised "no more than 3 months" almost 20 years ago. On the plus side, dad had a full time golfing buddy with lots of free time during those 20 years. Things have a way of settling into normalcy.
I think you're screwed.
__________________
Living well is the best revenge!
Retired @ 52 in 2005
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07-30-2015, 07:53 AM
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#9
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Les Bois
Posts: 5,761
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Kids moving back home are a potential ER landmine - sounds like it could be a dual threat landmine - hope she finds a jerb soon!
__________________
You can't be a retirement plan actuary without a retirement plan, otherwise you lose all credibility...
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07-30-2015, 07:54 AM
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#10
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Duesseldorf, Germany
Posts: 1,202
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She might get help from interview and career coaching.
To pay for it you might offer a loan, but no free ride.
Make it clear that job hunting is her job and most important responsibility now.
Set up the rules of the house + distribution of household tasks now that 3 adults are living in it.
You + DW have already sacrificed a lot for her education. Getting a good education was worth it. But waiting for the ideal job is a waste of time.
By the way: did she write nice thank you letters to all the people she met in the interviews?
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07-30-2015, 07:55 AM
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#11
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 8,332
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oscar1
I fear she will not start at the bottom of the barrel and never make it high enough to even consider early retirement much less saving 20, 30% to get there.
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Personally, I'd put my efforts on her getting a job before worrying too much about retiring early from one.
__________________
Living well is the best revenge!
Retired @ 52 in 2005
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07-30-2015, 07:58 AM
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#12
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by target2019
Is early retirement one of your daughter's goals? She may not need the pressure right now.
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I strongly agree here. Early retirement is a negative goal, it amazes me how people can expect their children to want to compete and master the world of work only to get out as quickly as they can.
If someone really wants early retirement, get a government/military/union teaching job/ and hang on until you are out. Avoid military specialties that might land you in battle, that would be a rude shock for a pension seeker.
OTOH, if one wants to succeed in the world of work, don't be afraid to get in where perhaps one's training is not particularly relevant, but personality, drive, persistence etc. can go far .
Ha
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"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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07-30-2015, 08:01 AM
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#13
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 197
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Our son graduated in 2009 with a degree in Finance. He had numerous interviews in late 2008 and early 2009 with State Street and it was looking good until his contact in HR was even laid off!
He moved home in May 2009. Worked at a restaurant, delivered pizzas and painted a warehouse with a friend for the friend's father. I offered to pay for grad school but he declined. After 18 years (counting kindergarten and preschool) he wanted a break from formal education and wanted to work. In January 2010 he landed a 6 month internship as an insurance underwriter. There were 6 interns working part time and three would go full time after 6 months. It turned out he was actually the 7th pick. One of the top six washed out on a drug test!
He wound up getting one of the three full time positions in June 2010 and it launched his career.
Stay positive, look for any opportunity and keep your nose clean (literally!).
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07-30-2015, 08:04 AM
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#14
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Les Bois
Posts: 5,761
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a 3.5+ gpa and two actuarial exams will almost certainly guarantee a job after graduation
__________________
You can't be a retirement plan actuary without a retirement plan, otherwise you lose all credibility...
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07-30-2015, 08:12 AM
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#15
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Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 10,622
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
I strongly agree here. Early retirement is a negative goal, it amazes me how people can expect their children to want to compete and master the world of work only to get out as quickly as they can.
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+1
My strategy for my college age and new professional j*b kids...
Dissing myself as old and jaded (because there was no way to hide one's true feelings from your kids if you are close) As for being old and jaded?...that's not too far from the truth! Also, instead of getting out of a megacorp that you dislike, I've been stressing that you should seek something you really get jazzed about, because you spend a whole heck of a lot of time doing it.
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07-30-2015, 08:37 AM
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#16
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Northern IL
Posts: 26,806
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oscar1
My daughter is moving back home after graduating in May with a degree in International Studies but no job. .... this is a major shocker for us and her.
... ?
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Can you explain the shock? I don't know what the job outlook is for people with an undergraduate degree in International Studies, but the job market is pretty tight overall for new grads, and I don't recall hearing stories of companies clamoring for people with an undergrad in International Studies.
What were your expectations? What were they based on?
RE: ER -
Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
I strongly agree here. Early retirement is a negative goal, it amazes me how people can expect their children to want to compete and master the world of work only to get out as quickly as they can. ...
Ha
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Two of my 3 kids are now somewhat settled in their jobs, and I plan to start talking to them more about financial matters and preparing themselves for emergencies and planning for the future and a little about eventual retirement. Whether that is an 'early' retirement or not isn't even on the radar screen at this point. That's a long way off and many roads to travel before we get to that stage.
-ERD50
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07-30-2015, 08:48 AM
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#17
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Dryer sheet wannabe
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 18
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I am a college professor and have two kids a bit older than your daughter, so I have many opinions. First of all, colleges do not do a good job preparing students for the job market. In LA where I live, the oil companies come to campus to seek out the petroleum engineering students (starting at @$100,000/yr). The rest of the students are left to flounder.
Most majors do not lead directly to jobs. Even some that do--like nursing--are not always foolproof. It's hard to get an entry-level nursing job.
International Studies has been a popular major. If your daughter wants to work in that area, she should get her language skills up. Both my kids taught English abroad right after college. It's something I would recommend to everyone.
Colleges have been facing severe money problems and Masters programs are huge money-makers for them. That degree does not lead to a job either and students get into serious debt pursuing that degree.
My kids haven't moved back home but remember: in most cultures that is the norm.
Think about Americorps, City Year, teaching abroad--all those things give you skills you don't get in college and offer the chance of making contacts.
Sorry this is so lengthy.
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07-30-2015, 08:54 AM
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#18
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Les Bois
Posts: 5,761
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__________________
You can't be a retirement plan actuary without a retirement plan, otherwise you lose all credibility...
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07-30-2015, 09:22 AM
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#19
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: West of the Mississippi
Posts: 17,134
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oscar1
My worst fear is coming true as I fear she will not start at the bottom of the barrel and never make it high enough to even consider early retirement much less saving 20, 30% to get there.
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If that's your worst fear for your daughter, you are doing OK. It could have been drugs, fatherless babies, and wife beating men. Or a serious disease.
Help her, encourage her and by all means make sure she pays at least part of her way even if it means flipping burgers at a fast food restaurant.
__________________
Comparison is the thief of joy
The worst decisions are usually made in times of anger and impatience.
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07-30-2015, 09:27 AM
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#20
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Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 10,622
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuckanut
If that's your worst fear for your daughter, you are doing OK. It could have been drugs, fatherless babies, and wife beating men. Or a serious disease.
Help her, encourage her and by all means make sure she pays at least part of her way even if it means flipping burgers at a fast food restaurant.
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+1
You can't imagine something bad happening...until it does. Then you pine for "the good old days", when all you had to worry about was if she would save a good fraction of her income.
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