Three legs for healthy retirement

[NextInLine]

Finance, health and a healthy relationship.

Most people, especially us here on this forum, know about saving, financially, for retirement. Recent conversation with a friend brought up the other two important factors: health and a healthy relationship. Invest/saving in your 20's can pay big dividend to your nest egg. The same can be said about health. Invest in a healthy habit early and often: eating in moderation, active lifestyle. make 'deposit' to your relationship with your family, friends.

have you been too goal-oriented in making/saving for financial well being while being neglect the other two?

 

[ImThinkin2019]

Hi NextInLine, thank you so much for starting this thread. Most of us are what I call "financially responsible", and a lot of the focus here is on achieving FI. It's great to revisit the other two topics.

 

[jollystomper]

I would agree with those things. One reason I want to retire is to spend more time with DW - we are both in good health and active (things we really didn't start focusing on until we hit our 40's), and I can't see being bored in retirement with her and our combined interests. I could have had probably double the money had I stayed on Megacorps' "fast track" in my early 30's, but it was damaging our relationship and my health; in the long run it was worth it to get off.

 

[Maenad]

DH and I have deliberately stayed off the management track, since in our industry that means 12-16 hour days 5-6 days a week, barely seeing your spouse, and poor health. And the long hours would have reduced our ability to economize (cooking for ourselves, etc.).

Now that we're both nearing 40, we're feeling increased pressure to improve/maintain our health. I lost 70 pounds 3 years ago to reach a healthy weight, which has helped immensely.

I think it's smart to work to maintain physical, mental, and relationship health while working towards ER. Otherwise, you get there, and you're unhealthy and spending a lot of time with someone you've grown apart from. Not a good long-term plan.

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

DW and I make the gym a priority 6 days a week. We balance high pressure careers, raising young kids, home renovations, etc... We occasionally snap at each other when we're both short of sleep, but we're managing for now. Things are getting better as the kids get older, but the strain still gets to us at times - which keeps me posting here. ;-)


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[ziggy29]

DH and I have deliberately stayed off the management track, since in our industry that means 12-16 hour days 5-6 days a week, barely seeing your spouse, and poor health.

Yes. Oh yes, this. I spent almost 26 years in my career field and the last half of that was spent exactly where I wanted to be on the "corporate ladder" -- the highest rung below management, or the top of the so-called "individual contributor" pay scale. The promotion into management just never seemed worth the extra pay to me, so I never pursued it or sucked up to the appropriate people in order to position myself for it. And I don't regret that decision for a second.

 

[pb4uski]

Yes. Oh yes, this. I spent almost 26 years in my career field and the last half of that was spent exactly where I wanted to be on the "corporate ladder" -- the highest rung below management, or the top of the so-called "individual contributor" pay scale. The promotion into management just never seemed worth the extra pay to me, so I never pursued it or sucked up to the appropriate people in order to position myself for it. And I don't regret that decision for a second.

+1 I joined the firm later in life than typical and was offered partnership but it would have meant much more work and stress and I was already FI at the time and declined principally because I didn't think I would stay long enough to make it worth it. Every time one of the partners would complain about some thing they were required to do or a meeting they were required to attend, I would just simply smirk and tell them "I'm glad I'm not a partner" and we'd share a laugh about it. Funny thing is, that most staff and clients who didn't know me well assumed I was a partner because partners would refer people to me so I had the stature of being a partner without the hassle.

 

[Midpack]

DH and I have deliberately stayed off the management track, since in our industry that means 12-16 hour days 5-6 days a week, barely seeing your spouse, and poor health. And the long hours would have reduced our ability to economize (cooking for ourselves, etc.).

If you (mostly) enjoy what you're doing, the hours/days aren't a bother, and of course in exchange - it's a lot easier to reach FI. IOW, the extra hours seem worth it. I spent most of my career in supervisory/management positions, and it was way more interesting and challenging to me than avoiding management positions. I would have grown tired of being a Project Engineer (my degree) far sooner than the career path I took. Not for everyone, but I also don't regret my career decisions for a second. Just another POV...

But I agree there's not enough written or discussed re: the non-financial aspects of retirement. The financial is the simple (but not easy) part for many.

 

[sengsational]

Finance, health and a healthy relationship.

This book What happy people know : how the new science of happiness can change your life for the better groups those three things. The author started these "Canyon Ranch" health spas (the original is in Arizona). I'd love to go, but they cost $5k for 3 days!

 

[cooch96]

This is a very good topic. I've definitely sacrificed my health. self medicating the stress with alcohol and tobacco is a razor thin edge, but I guess two out of three ain't bad. I've started looking for a new job more in line with my passions, but so far no offers.

 

[Amethyst]

These are all practical things. Where's the fourth quadrant, self-actualization - what some people refer to as the spiritual aspect? For example, someone may neglect the call to be an artist or writer, due to a stern focus on getting ahead, staying fit, and raising a family. (On the flip side, many noted artists and writers are notorious for neglecting the other 3 quadrants).

Amethyst

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

These are all practical things. Where's the fourth quadrant, self-actualization - what some people refer to as the spiritual aspect? For example, someone may neglect the call to be an artist or writer, due to a stern focus on getting ahead, staying fit, and raising a family. (On the flip side, many noted artists and writers are notorious for neglecting the other 3 quadrants).

Amethyst

Spirituality often comes with free time for self reflection - such as is the case after retirement or a health scare that points out one's mortality. It can so come after FIRE and a sufficient amount of time has passed for old passions to be reawakened.



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[Letj]

Yes. Oh yes, this. I spent almost 26 years in my career field and the last half of that was spent exactly where I wanted to be on the "corporate ladder" -- the highest rung below management, or the top of the so-called "individual contributor" pay scale. The promotion into management just never seemed worth the extra pay to me, so I never pursued it or sucked up to the appropriate people in order to position myself for it. And I don't regret that decision for a second.

+1

 

[Milton]

These are all practical things. Where's the fourth quadrant, self-actualization - what some people refer to as the spiritual aspect?

Fair enough; but keep in mind Maslow's suggestion that only a small number (~2%, IIRC) of people ever become fully self-actualized, given that human society rewards motivation primarily based on esteem, love and other social needs.