Time to baby plan

[justin]

I'll have to echo that comment that every kid is different.

Our first (who is 1.5 years) never slept through the night and continues to get up frequently. Our second has been sleeping soundly for 8-11 hours per night since 1-2 months. Polar opposites.

#2 hardly ever cries or whines, and we can lay her down and let her go to sleep. #1 screamed bloody murder if we ever put her down and continues to be clingy, although she is finally able to sit by herself and go to sleep.

They are each very different and unique, so well-intentioned advise provided by others or conclusions that others draw based on your parenting are frequently irrelevant and/or wrong.

Oh yeah, get plenty of sleep now if you can.

[wabmester]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ats5g btw - you are searching for a pediatrician now, right?

And a preschool.

Probably our greatest expense for our kid is education. I'm a huge fan of early education since kids have such incredible neural plasticity before the age of 6 or so. And they're fun to experiment on too!

If you want your kid to be a musician, start now! There's a theory that says kids are born with perfect pitch, and they gradually lose that ability as they learn to recognize speaker-independent speech. But, if you expose them to music early, they may retain the ability.

We have a local piano teacher who gave piano lessons to pregnant moms, and then later gave piano lessons to the kids when they were toddlers. I've heard some of the kids play, and the word "gifted" comes to mind.

[ats5g]

If you're going to be doing daycare, start saving now. For a kid under 1, I've seen it run from $175/week up to $280 per week. Might want to check around.

- Alec

[Sisyphus]

Thank you, everyone! We're currently searching for daycares. For those of you keeping score at home, they're averaging around $200 per week. At that rate, I have to wonder how some folks justify sending both parents to work if there are 2 or more kids to put in daycare... it seems as if it would be a money losing battle to me unless you are at a high income. Unfortunately, niether of us has family in the area so daycare is key.

We thought about finding someone who does daycare out of their house to save $$$, but I prefer knowing that our child is not spending all day watching TV and eating jellybeans (or worse).

Thanks again, all!

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sisyphus Thank you, everyone! We're currently searching for daycares. For those of you keeping score at home, they're averaging around $200 per week. At that rate, I have to wonder how some folks justify sending both parents to work if there are 2 or more kids to put in daycare... it seems as if it would be a money losing battle to me unless you are at a high income.

Business Week publishes studies on this every year or so.

For about the first five years childcare isn't worth it. Generally you're spending more in commuting, wardrobe, meals, and childcare than you're making.

By the second five years, though, learning & experience have started to pay off in a higher salary that more than makes up for the first five years.

After the first decade, theoretically you have two adults working full-time for about 20 years instead of one adult working full-time for 40 years. The upshot is that ER is a lot more easily achievable from the higher earlier savings rate and compounding.

BW also usually points out that a woman with five years' work experience (other than childcare) does much better after divorce than one whose main experience has been childcare. Not that this is a good reason to be working instead of staying home with a kid-- it's just a statistic.

Again, you know who you are-- someone who wants to stay home and raise kids or someone who wants to do some work as well as be a parent. I know I would've gone crazy staying home to raise our kid!

[brewer12345]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sisyphus Thank you, everyone! We're currently searching for daycares. For those of you keeping score at home, they're averaging around $200 per week. At that rate, I have to wonder how some folks justify sending both parents to work if there are 2 or more kids to put in daycare... it seems as if it would be a money losing battle to me unless you are at a high income. Unfortunately, niether of us has family in the area so daycare is key.

We decided to forgo daycare. After factoring in the costs, it was not worth it for DW to go back to work. To keep her career roling and ensure some adult interaction, she started her own business, which takes up maybe 5 hours a week now.

[P.S.]

Congratulations!!!!

Lots of great posts, but as a first time mommy (DS is 1 y 2 wk old) I got lots of advice too.

So you're due in the spring which puts you at 2nd trimester?......

NOW is the time to....
-travel transoceanic. If you ever wanted to kiss your wife on the top of Eiffel tower (alone), sample wines in the vineyards of tuscany, roam the streets of Bangladesh...DO IT NOW!
-eat at any non-baby friendly restaurant.
-take any car trips you have EVER wanted to. Our DS hated his car seat until just recently.
-Work on any hobbies that require two hands and long stretches of time.
-SLEEP.

Clean and organize. Declutter. Your wife will want to wash the baseboards and will scrub down the refrigerator 3 times before the baby comes. That is okay and your job will be to give her lots of massages.

As PP said, I would hold off on buying most things as long as possible.
I noticed that the closer our due date got, the number of gifts grew exponentially. Since this is your first, lotsa people will give you first baby gifts. My dad found a diaper genie in excellent condition on the curb.

Things I found useful that we bought: rectal thermometer, a bulb nose sucker thingie, baby nail clippers, pretty painted wooden hangers, batteries for camera etc.

We cloth diaper (and cloth wipies) and also EC (elimination communication).
http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/
Initially we used disposables, but switched to cloth when I felt I had more energy.
R these not the cutest things or what??
http://www.kissaluvs.com/fitted-diapers.html
http://www.muttaqinbaby.com/diapers.html
If you sew, then you can DIY and use yummy organic bamboo and cotton velour.

Re: baby food, DS refused the jarred stuff and would only eat what we ate. We tried every flavor of organic stuff. Would rec just get a couple of jars and follow what the kid wants.

Keep a journal. Don't forget to get hand/footprints early (like we did) and take lots of showing how small baby is pictures...like in your hands, comparing finger and feet size.

Enjoy! A wonderful journey awaits you!

[Nords]

Hey, Sisyphus, apparently yesterday Oprah and Priscilla Dunstan solved all our problems...

... well, about 14 years too late for spouse & me. But at least the kid is finally sleeping through the night.

[Sisyphus]

Thanks, Nords. Oprah saves the day.

There may be something to it, but I think all babies make virtually any sound at any given time. We'll see!

So, I have to wait 14 years before I get a full night's sleep? Of course, by that point they're keeping you up at night for other reasons!

Thanks.