Here I am...standing on the crumbling edge of a 33 year career and watching expectantly as the escalator up to my retirement life slowly moves into place to catch me at the last second before I fall off the edge into the abyss of corporate madness.
The desk has been cleaned out...the files shredded...the manuals tossed into the various trash barrels that have come and gone in my office over the past week as I discard all trapping of my former life. Having delegated most everything to someone else and with some time on my hands, I threw together some thoughts on why I glad it is almost over.
What I am looking forward to…..
Not getting up at 5:45AM so I can beat the traffic so I can have an extra 20 minutes of work time to get tasks done before my 7-8 hours of daily meetings begin.
Not having to work past 5:45PM to avoid the major rush hour home and to have an extra 30 minutes at the end of the day to get emails read and answered.
Not having to buy frozen entrees to eat at my desk because I don’t’ have the time or want to spend the extra money on rushed lunches outside the office.
Not having to lose sleep on Sunday nights because I am thinking about the upcoming work week.
Not having to schedule time off around meetings to see doctors or getting chores done during normal business hours.
Not having to put off car maintenance because I can’t take off the time to drop off the car and pick it up during their business hours.
Not having to plan my vacation time around major business activities like: budget planning, Performance Reviews, Merit Budgets, Business Planning, Bonus allocation time, Governmental Agency audits, inter-company audits, third party audits, and other staff member vacation requests.
Not being able to take a vacation because of work needs.
Not having to check voice messages and email while on vacation.
Not laying awake half the night thinking about work issues.
Not having to make presentations to staff or management.
Not having to act interested in or actively supporting the management “flavor of the month” program.
Not having to have my time scheduled by someone else.
Not having to time or energy to read things other than those related to the job.
Not having to play nurse-maid, councilor or referee to employees.
Not having to act like I like the people I work for.
Not having to compromise my ideals because management has none.
Not having to pretend to enjoy required work-related outings and activities.
Not having to attend management leadership meetings where there clearly is none.
Not having to attend HR “touchy-feely” classes to tell me how to be a more vanilla human being.
Not having to make employee Performance Evaluations match a budget number that is outside of my control to create or change; and then explain why it is a good system to my managers.
Not having to shield my people from upper management’s inability to communicate without finding blame.
Not having to be on endless conference calls where leaders don’t lead and participants act like mindless robots who can only nit pick other people’s ideas while nothing really gets done.
Not having to endure the total idiocy of management decisions despite data and advice
Not having to create budgets based on actual expected expenses to only have it arbitrarily cut by a VP who has no idea what my department does or how I budget.
Not having to give to the charity chosen by management without feeling like not doing so is making a career-limiting decision.
Not having to finish all the projects I have been juggling.
Not having to give up 12-14+ hours of my daily life spent getting ready for work, driving to work, working, driving home from work and working more once I am at home.
Life is just begining.....