Good advice all around. It is important to step back a bit. I could tell going in that my older manager (who is now the manager's manager) was pissed that I had asked to be VRIFed and then just to be plainly RIFed. I can see why because she probably took it as a personal affront considering that she hired me, but after I explained to her that I needed to cover all the angles and that the dates aren't set by me, she seemed a little more understanding.
I'll step back a bit as well. I have already deleted the pension from my balance sheet, and frankly, it still looks about the same, so I guess I won't miss it that much. This way I can negotiate with far more flexibility by considering all the suggestions that you guys have offered: Telecommuting, LOA, groveling (just kidding), and leave out the going postal part.
Thanks all! Bitching BunsofVeal out!