You're right about that, FD. I've been an administrator of a busy politics forum for years, and I've seen all kinds of moderators come and go.
In our forum and in most other decent forums on the Web, personal attacks are not allowed. A good team of moderators stops a thread from being destroyed by personal attacks even if the attacks come from older members. Lousy moderators are afraid to rock the boat with those older members and the result is never good. The majority of new active members start out as lurkers, and when they see negativity and personal attacks being allowed by the moderators, they hesitate to participate in the future.
It's fine for any forum not to welcome suggestions about its functionality. I have no problem with that. Just tell people that suggestions are not welcome and call it a day.
In general, I'd say that this is one of the better forums and the moderators seems to do a mostly good job, but there needs to be consistency in stopping personal attacks.
And some people need to understand that not everyone is a big fan of the dryer sheet theme or the concept of extreme frugal retirement.