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Old 08-03-2013, 12:09 AM   #21
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Thanks for all the kind words and advice. It's really a tough time and you feel like your brain is full of mush and your heart is ready to stop.

But we will Fight and we are going to check out the best places. Wife going to UCLA Revlon Center Monday and we will probably travel to MD Anderson in Texas, although she is on track for treatment at MD Phoenix.

We want to go with the best. We will take ANY % advantage we can get. It really does seem unfair, work so hard to retire early and then POW! (We plan, God laughs).

I hope I can come back with good news in a year, 5 years, 10 years, 15, 20 and maybe not 25 because hopefully she will outlive me, lol!

Thanks again for all the kind thoughts, stories and advice. These things are the only thing that helps in these trying and terrifying times. Thanks you all!


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Old 08-03-2013, 06:47 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by Hiredgun View Post
shut down the firm immediately. Now we have to fight the cancer. It is 3 cm, stage 2, triple negative and an MRI shows that the lymph nodes look clear. She is only 45 and this is devastating.

We live in AZ and are going to MD Anderson Cancer Hospital and a second consult at University of AZ (It is a National Institute of Health Cancer Center) next week.

We are scared and overwhelmed. We will go anywhere in the U.S. to get the best treatment. Would appreciate any advice!!
Hi Hiredgun, I was diagnosed with breast cancer about a year before my planned retirement date. Since then, I've retired, just about when I originally decided to do so.

Having been through it myself, I can tell you it's normal to be scared and overwhelmed, especially between getting the diagnosis and starting active treatment, when it's still up in the air what treatments will be needed and when anything is going to happen. If there is a support group nearby that you can attend, I strongly suggest you go a few times and see if you find it helpful.The people there "get it", because they've been there too. I go to one almost every week, and it's been a real lifeline. If you, your wife or both are more comfortable online, I can highly recommend, which my doctor sent me to when I was just diagnosed. Both the forums and the informational part of the site are well worth looking at. I actually spend more time there (with a different username) nowadays than here at There's another E-R member who was diagnosed about a year before I was, and as far as I know she's doing well. She's also active (under a different name) on

Last of all, stay away from "Doctor Google". It's hard to separate the Internet wheat from the chaff, especially early in treatment when you just don't know enough yet to tell how much of what you read applies to you, which articles are valid but not applicable, which information was originally good but has since become outdated, and which sites are garbage, or worse, sellers of snake oil and other scamsters.

Best wishes for a successful treatment!

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Old 08-03-2013, 10:16 PM   #23
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Hiredgun, Thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife tonight. Much good advice has been given already. I am a cancer survivor (not breast cancer). It is overwhelming. What I learned, is that It is important to be treated at a cancer center where the specialists deal with only that type of cancer. They are on the cutting edge of new treatments. A second opinion is highly recommended. Initial treatment and surgery can be done at the cancer center and many times follow-up treatment can be arranged closer to home. Ask to see if this is possible. MD Anderson Houston is the top rated cancer center in the US. Make sure to write down all questions beforehand. I found the website Caringbridge to be very helpful to keep family and friends informed and receive support from them. I could post to my private account and read posts from others at my convenience. People will amaze you for their generosity and support (many times from those you wouldn't
expect it.) This support will mean a great deal to your wife. When people offer help, make sure to keep a list and do call on them. Most want to help,but don't know what to do. Sadly, there will be those that disappear from your life when you need them the most. I wish I had known this ahead of time. It took me some time to forgive them. Take good care of yourself, getting daily exercise and eating well will go a long way in helping you to be there for your wife. The life of a caregiver is not any easy one. Seek counseling to express your feelings if needed. Keep us informed. Your loyal group of friends here will help you get through this.
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Old 08-04-2013, 08:22 AM   #24
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Thoughts and prayers for you and your DW in getting through this challenge.
Doing things today that others won't, to do things tomorrow that others can't. Of course I'm referring to workouts, not robbing banks.
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Old 08-04-2013, 09:43 AM   #25
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Hiredgun, I get it - been there, done that. My diagnosis was about the same, stage 2, though I was not triple negative. That was almost 19 years ago (I was 39), and I'm going strong. This is a disease that is beatable. Get the best care you can (I see you are already doing that) and educate yourself. Check out - there is a lot of information there, and discussion groups where you and/or your wife can connect with women going through the same thing. It's a remarkable site.

I send prayers and best wishes. Breast cancer sucks, but you will find that people come out of the woodwork to offer their experiences and support.
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Old 08-04-2013, 05:22 PM   #26
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Brother I hear you. My wife got the news about a year after I retired. Stage 2 means no longer interductal? No lymph node involvement is huge. Our GP gave us the greatest advice we ever got - if she isn't breastfeeding anymore go for the double mastectomy. You'll be paranoid about the other breast forever and the reconstructive surgery now is fantastic. You won't get the all-clear until they do the lymph biopsy after the mastectomy. If you caught it early you're good. Good luck.
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Old 08-04-2013, 05:55 PM   #27
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I'm sorry to hear this my wife had breast cancer at 39 about the same as your numbers did chemo and radiation. She had a double mastectomy in September will be 5 years she is running 10 miles a day. She is Doing great it very difficult just need to stay positive.
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Old 08-09-2013, 05:58 PM   #28
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Checking in on you, Hiredgun. How is everything going? I'm guessing that maybe you are starting to formulate a plan. Keeping you and your DW in my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 08-09-2013, 07:01 PM   #29
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Regarding cancer treatments, perhaps I am ignorant but I thought for most cases, the initial treatment is somewhat standardized.

Don't they all start out with common drugs for chemotherapy and standard surgical procedures? And then, when you really need to get into the clinical trials that it becomes more important to try the latest experimental drugs?
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Old 08-09-2013, 07:33 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by NW-Bound View Post
Don't they all start out with common drugs for chemotherapy and standard surgical procedures? And then, when you really need to get into the clinical trials that it becomes more important to try the latest experimental drugs?
When my late wife was dying of lung cancer I researched experimental tests.........the one thing they all had in common was that patients who had already undergone chemo were ineligible.....presumably because they didn't want 'outside factors' skewing the results of the trials.

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