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04-30-2017, 05:50 AM
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#21
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,277
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luck_Club
The services have a different rate for 24/7 care. I pay $169 a day for an 82 year old uncle who is bed ridden. He has two care givers who split the shifts, and they sleep in the second bedroom, but do not live with him.
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Its been a few years but this is what we did for my mother at about the same cost before she moved to a nursing home (when her care required two people). The caregivers were former nurses from Nigeria if my memory serves. They were excellent in their care and love for my mother. I was happily surprised and please by their attachment since their care was more than a job.
I know some long term care facilities are offering rooms to young people (I think typically college students) so the facility can create a more vibrant environment. If I were to make the search again for a nursing home, I would look for one that had this feature.
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04-30-2017, 09:36 AM
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#22
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Miraflores,Peru
Posts: 1,992
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I have known several guys over the years that have brought their Mothers to Peru. They buy an apartment and staff it with housekeeper/cook, and 2 nurses on shifts. The Son can then travel and enjoy retirement, have a place to stay when in town and in the end the appreciation on the apartment more than offsets the costs.
Unfortunately, the dynamic has now changed and the appreciation is no longer there. However, the labor costs are still low enough that it makes sense probably $1200 mth for three people.
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04-30-2017, 02:39 PM
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#23
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 12,566
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Why not just approach random older women on FB and pretend you think they're beautiful? They'll never figure out that you're really trying to get money I get at least one such approach per month.
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Even a blind clock finds an acorn twice a day.
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05-01-2017, 05:15 PM
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#24
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 566
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst
Why not just approach random older women ---- and pretend you think they're beautiful? They'll never figure out that you're really trying to get money I get at least one such approach per month.
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Max Bialystock did that in "The Producers"
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05-01-2017, 11:15 PM
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#25
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 587
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I had an older guy proposition me. He was around 75 and I was 40 at the time. He wanted to marry a younger woman to take care of him, including sex and in return she would inherit his estate. I really liked talking to him and he was fascinating (career navy then became a lawyer, an artist and wrote short stories - married 5 times!) He ended up hiring an aid to escort him to the Philippines and found a bride. She looked to be late 30's in a FB picture and they had a baby before he died.
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05-02-2017, 06:14 AM
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#26
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,677
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tinlizzy
I had an older guy proposition me. He was around 75 and I was 40 at the time. He wanted to marry a younger woman to take care of him, including sex and in return she would inherit his estate. I really liked talking to him and he was fascinating (career navy then became a lawyer, an artist and wrote short stories - married 5 times!) He ended up hiring an aid to escort him to the Philippines and found a bride. She looked to be late 30's in a FB picture and they had a baby before he died.
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Our group of AARP volunteers did taxes for a couple like that. 80 yr old man, 40 yr old woman from the Philippines. They got married in 2016. She didn't talk much, the old man relied on her to help him walk and carry the paperwork. We surmised that he needed a caretaker, and maybe she wanted to come to the US? Certainly an odd couple, but none of my business.
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05-02-2017, 08:52 AM
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#27
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2013
Location: ATL --> Flyover Country
Posts: 6,649
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I think the different stories illustrates that this isn't an easy issue, and rarely will there be a fix-it-all for all the different situations that are out there.
My Dad (technically Grandfather, but he raised me, so he will always be my Dad) will be 90 soon. He still lives at home and is quite independent (his DW died in 2013) but does need assistance at times. Lucky for him, I am about 5 miles away and since I am retired, I am pretty much available for him 24/7. I don't have to do a whole lot to help out, but most of the house/yard maintenance stuff falls to me. It's not a big deal, but I can see how this could be a pain for someone that has kids and a 40 hour w*rk week. He actually was giving thought to selling the house and moving in with us (which would be the best solution IMHO) but his unrelenting obsession about getting a dog changed his mind so for the time being, he is staying put. Oh, the dog issue...I could go on and on about that, but I won't. Point being, if I wasn't around I am not exactly sure what he would do. He's not a filthy rich man, but he is a man of meager means and would have a lot of choices available to him, but I think he would have a hard time pulling the trigger on anything.
The DW and I have wondered what will become of us. We have no kiddos and I have no siblings. My DW has two siblings but they don't have kids, either. I suppose we will all eventually move in together and it will be a "Golden Boys and Girls" kind of living situation. And yes, it would make for a VERY entertaining TV show.
__________________
FIRE'd in 2014 @ 40 Years Old
Professional Retiree
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05-02-2017, 09:57 AM
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#28
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,984
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A good friend of mine had 2 parents that needed help but wanted to stay home. First the Dad just needed help and somehow they met a woman in her 50's that was happy to move in for free room and board, drive their car and get paid a small amount. By the time the dad died the Mom had early dementia so she stayed on until she died. Now I have no idea what will happen to the caretaker but my friend would certainly recommend her to others as she did a great job.
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05-02-2017, 10:01 AM
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#29
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 12,566
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Am I the only one who thinks a caretaker who was that faithful, and stayed on so long, should have some sort of pension from the estate?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry
A good friend of mine had 2 parents that needed help but wanted to stay home. First the Dad just needed help and somehow they met a woman in her 50's that was happy to move in for free room and board, drive their car and get paid a small amount. By the time the dad died the Mom had early dementia so she stayed on until she died. Now I have no idea what will happen to the caretaker but my friend would certainly recommend her to others as she did a great job.
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__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Even a blind clock finds an acorn twice a day.
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05-02-2017, 10:41 AM
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#30
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,984
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She may have but I have no clue. These were not poor people but not wealthy either. They also have 4 kids and numerous grandchildren. My understanding also was that this person was in a really tough spot not being able to support herself etc so this situation worked to her benefit for many years.
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05-02-2017, 10:49 AM
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#31
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Duesseldorf, Germany
Posts: 1,202
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Well, I would expect that a fair compensation is agreed upon so that the caretaker will not go under and we all pay for her in her own old age.
Higher than minimum wage, but setting off free room+ food, sufficient time off and a paid notice period if the person they care for passes away or moves to a retirement home.
The students help model in Germany has a guideline that per 1 qm and month one hour of work is expected. So an average of 20 hours of help/month would get you a nice room.
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05-02-2017, 12:34 PM
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#32
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 13,148
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It does seem that "free room and board, use of a car and a small allowance" as total compensation could be problematic for the caregiver. What if the elderly person slowly needs more and more care? Develops bouts of incontinence? Has sleeplessness and wants company throughout the night? Becomes irritable and mean? There are complicated meds to administer? The list is endless. Here is the caretaker taking care of the house and associated paperwork, running errands and spending near 100% of the remaining time at the elderly person's bedside. All for a roof over head, meals and a small allowance?
Obviously, the caretaker needs to have a clear understanding of what happens when the needs of the elderly person escalate from what they are at the beginning.
__________________
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
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05-02-2017, 12:42 PM
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#33
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: New York City
Posts: 2,838
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luck_Club
The services have a different rate for 24/7 care. I pay $169 a day for an 82 year old uncle who is bed ridden. He has two care givers who split the shifts, and they sleep in the second bedroom, but do not live with him.
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thats a really low rate, what state do you live in? is it thru an agency?
__________________
Withdrawal Rate currently zero, Pension 137 % of our spending, Wasted 5 years of my prime working extra for a safe withdrawal rate. I can live like a King for a year, or a Prince for the rest of my life. I will stay on topic, I will stay on topic, I will stay on topic
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05-02-2017, 12:45 PM
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#34
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,984
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Since a daughter lived in town the caregiver got time off and her only job was to care for the parent. So the daughter did everything house related, paid bills, etc.
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05-02-2017, 12:45 PM
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#35
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: New York City
Posts: 2,838
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYEXPAT
I have known several guys over the years that have brought their Mothers to Peru. They buy an apartment and staff it with housekeeper/cook, and 2 nurses on shifts. The Son can then travel and enjoy retirement, have a place to stay when in town and in the end the appreciation on the apartment more than offsets the costs.
Unfortunately, the dynamic has now changed and the appreciation is no longer there. However, the labor costs are still low enough that it makes sense probably $1200 mth for three people.
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wow thats really low prices, i hope i remember this fact in the future and can relay it to people who might want this option, thank you
__________________
Withdrawal Rate currently zero, Pension 137 % of our spending, Wasted 5 years of my prime working extra for a safe withdrawal rate. I can live like a King for a year, or a Prince for the rest of my life. I will stay on topic, I will stay on topic, I will stay on topic
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05-29-2017, 03:59 PM
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#36
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Bushnell
Posts: 607
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My father thought he had this one licked when he married my stepmother who was 8 years younger than him. Unexpectedly she passed away first and he spent his last months relying on professional caregivers and his sons.
One solution would be to improve the odds and marry someone 20-30 years younger.
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05-30-2017, 06:50 AM
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#37
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gone traveling
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: DFW
Posts: 7,586
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DW's aunt required assistance in her late 80s and 90s. Fortunately, her former neighbor had a friend in her 60s that needed some part time work, so the aunt would have her visit 3-4X/week for ~ 4 hrs and paid her $75/visit. There was also a house keeper that came a few times a week in addition. We tried numerous times to get the aunt into assisted living, but she was fiercely independent and stubborn. The in house care was great and enabled the aunt to remain in her small condo until her death. We still keep in touch with the former care giver who really became a friend. Certainly, this situation was not the norm.
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05-30-2017, 07:11 AM
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#38
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 12,566
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And be very, very nice to them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by truenorth418
One solution would be to improve the odds and marry someone 20-30 years younger.
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__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Even a blind clock finds an acorn twice a day.
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05-30-2017, 12:43 PM
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#39
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 8,332
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I've told the story here before on how my (notoriously miserly) grandpa had a live-in care giver. She also held another part time job.
One day, all proud of himself, he told me "I cut her pay!!"
"What??! Why?"
"Well, she told me that she had lost her other job"
"...and..."
"And I figured that now, she had no other options, so I cut her pay; she has nowhere else to go" (ha ha ha)
__________________
Living well is the best revenge!
Retired @ 52 in 2005
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05-30-2017, 05:19 PM
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#40
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Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 10,622
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst
And be very, very nice to them.
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Especially if they're to inherit and have access to life shortening therapies.
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