Alzheimers's - Update

[robnplunder]

Btravlin: Thanks for the post and being there for your parents.

+1. A post like that is an eye opener for someone (me, e.g) who hasn't gone through it.

 

[Mulligan]

Really helpful thread.

I recently told DH if/when our kids suggest we need assisted living, we will do it. He said, good idea, unless we don't. Ummm....

I have to agree with your husband, Bestwife... And unfortunately I will be like BTravlin's FIL. I can see myself fighting to the end to stay out of one of those places.


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[LastOfTheBoomers]

After my father passed away my mother lived by herself for a couple of years and then checked herself into an independent care facility. Best gift she could have given her kids - we never worried. I tell people I meet about what she did and that it saved so many sleepless nights.

 

[F4mandolin]

Good friends of mine have parents in the denial stage of things right now. 90+94 and really need to be in assisted living but refuse to do so. I have gently made the recommendation that they should start really pushing to try and get them into assisted living. None of the 3 kids (50's+60's now) will try to do this, but it is becoming a real issue with them (the people taking care of them...the 3 plus families) at this time. I won't stick my nose in further, but I think both sides are trying to avoid what needs to be done. It is a bugger of a position to be in for both sides.

 

[robnplunder]

This thread is making me think about the cost of assisted living for my parents. If I were to justify my on-going OMY syndrome, this would be it. I need to pad my RE fund to make room for my parents assisted living cost.

 

[Bestwifeever]

This thread is making me think about the cost of assisted living for my parents. If I were to justify my on-going OMY syndrome, this would be it. I need to pad my RE fund to make room for my parents assisted living cost.

Yes, something the kids will think about before they tell us it's time. In their case, $$ for our ltc will diminish any inheritance, so that's another more indirect reason they would not suggest it until they think it is really necessary.

 

[robnplunder]

Yes, something the kids will think about before they tell us it's time. In their case, $$ for our ltc will diminish any inheritance, so that's another more indirect reason they would not suggest it until they think it is really necessary.

That'd be sad if one's children are thinking that way.

There's a saying, paraphrasing, rich parents tend to have filial children .

 

[Amethyst]

I have an uncle in his late 80's who has had Alzheimers since the early 2000's - splendid physical constitution kept him alive long after his mind was gone. He and my aunt, who has all her marbles, are in a CCRF, which fortunately, she loves (their kids helped her sell their home to finance it). But what if she hated it, as both Mr. A. and I would? It sounds like the healthy spouse could have to sentence themselves to spending their final decent years in the hated CCRF environment. Has anyone seen this occur?

Amethyst

Good friends of mine have parents in the denial stage of things right now. 90+94 and really need to be in assisted living but refuse to do so. I have gently made the recommendation that they should start really pushing to try and get them into assisted living. None of the 3 kids (50's+60's now) will try to do this, but it is becoming a real issue with them (the people taking care of them...the 3 plus families) at this time. I won't stick my nose in further, but I think both sides are trying to avoid what needs to be done. It is a bugger of a position to be in for both sides.

 

[Bestwifeever]

That'd be sad if one's children are thinking that way.

There's a saying, paraphrasing, rich parents tend to have filial children .

Actually our kids would not be thinking that, it would be in dh's mind that he would want to leave more to the kids vs to a nursing home.

 

[MichaelB]

But what if she hated it, as both Mr. A. and I would? It sounds like the healthy spouse could have to sentence themselves to spending their final decent years in the hated CCRF environment. Has anyone seen this occur?

If one of the spouses is capable of living independently, they both might remain at home with the support of in-home health care aides. They can help with ADLs and improvements can be made to most homes to accommodate this type of need.

 

[Walt34]

After my father passed away my mother lived by herself for a couple of years and then checked herself into an independent care facility. Best gift she could have given her kids - we never worried. I tell people I meet about what she did and that it saved so many sleepless nights.

I will be ever so grateful that my mother moved voluntarily to a CCRC. She was in independent living for 11 years and loved it, she had a great time. It would often take two or three days to reach her on the phone because she was out running around doing stuff.

This, and dealing with FIL's issues because he refused to face the reality, is why we will move to a CCRC in the next 5-8 years or so. Both of our remaining parents had a lot of help from children when they had to move. We will not have that help and will have to do it ourselves well before the crisis stage.

Some relatives think we're nuts. We call it taking responsibility for ourselves.

 

[BTravlin]

Thanks to all of who have posted words of support and advice. I wish I could answer each and everyone of you but there is not enough time in the day at present.

DW's brother called first thing this morning to say that her father is already backtracking. He is moving back home immediately and after the first month he will move his wife to a cheaper facility that is five minutes closer to their home. It will save him about $6k per year at the cheaper place. That facility has a good reputation and she would be fine there but the difference between the atmospheres of the two facilities is huge. The one she is currently in just opened this past October and is like a 5 star hotel. Everything is new and bright and well laid out with all kinds of amenities. The other facility was built over 30 years and is just small, somewhat drab and just the basic amenities. The place is clean and the staff there were all very nice but for the small amount of extra money the choice should be an easy one. MIL's current room is bright, spacious and homey with all new furnishings and a wonderful view of a wooded park from her 3rd floor windows. The room at the other place looks like your typical hospital room with a view from the first floor windows of either the parking lot or an uninspiring courtyard and more rooms across the way.

I cannot understand his miserly ways. Many of us here strive to be frugal and LBYM but FIL has progressed beyond that and slipped into being downright miserly. Spoke to BIL this morning and he says FIL actually has a net worth of almost $2 mil. At age 80 there is no way he will ever outlive that. Is he playing the game where the one with the most money in the bank at the end wins?

We must all be vigilant to not go there. It is most depressing to witness.

Why work so hard to save all of that money so that you can retire with confidence and dignity and then not use it for the safety and well-being of yourself and your loved ones when the time comes?

At that point, the dignity you have worked so hard to maintain is gone and your efforts have been wasted.

I will do my absolute best to not travel down that path.

Again, thank you all for your support. Will add updates as time allows.

 

[robnplunder]

Thanks for the update, BTravlin.

I sure hope things work out for your *ILs.

Question: Is FIL being miserly or trying to leave more inheritance to his children? Regardless of the answer, your MIL deserves better (and it's her money too).

 

[MRG]

Or is FIL suffering from dementia himself. Of course it could be the reation to change. Let's face it when you start thinking about assisted living, lots of other fears come out. My DFs last year was a nightmare, Dementia that he could no longer hide, an unnatural fear of going to nursing home. I'm glad he is not suffering any more.

Does the state FIL lives in have an agency to come to his home and evaluate his ability to care for himself?
I'll be hoping better days are ahead for your family.
Best wishes,
MRG

 

[BTravlin]

Thanks for the update, BTravlin.

I sure hope things work out for your *ILs.

Question: Is FIL being miserly or trying to leave more inheritance to his children? Regardless of the answer, your MIL deserves better (and it's her money too).

I wish I knew the answer. It's very hard to engage him on the subject. There are three children, all of whom are adopted and DW is the oldest. The youngest borrowed $50k from them over three years ago to buy a home with promised monthly repayments but she has not been seen or heard from since. She was written out of the will last year. The middle son is helping us deal with this situation. DW and middle son have both told FIL they don't care about the inheritance. Take care of your selves first and foremost.

I think he was in frugal saving mode for so long that he does not know how to change gears.

And, yes, there are signs of dementia in him too but not truly bad yet. When he called the insurance carrier to report his hitting our rental car it sounded like an 8 year old trying to file a claim. They had to lead him through the process.

 

[imoldernu]

Imagine diagnosing Alzheimers 10 or 20 years early:

Australian researcher Shaun Frost tested 40 people using a liquid form of curcumin, the natural substance that makes curry yellow. Curcumin sticks to beta amyloids, allowing doctors to spot the proteins with a simple eye test.

Frost found that the test positively identified 100 percent of the participants who had Alzheimer's.

Eye test may be able to detect Alzheimer's decades before onset - CBS News

 

[MichaelB]

Very interesting. Thanks for the update.

 

[Chuckanut]

To be fore warned is to be fore armed.

Diabetes Link to Alzheimer's

[stepping on soapbox]
Another reason to cut back on the sugar and junky carbs and start eating real food.
[stepping off soapbox]

 

[Lancelot]

Or is FIL suffering from dementia himself. Of course it could be the reation to change. Let's face it when you start thinking about assisted living, lots of other fears come out. My DFs last year was a nightmare, Dementia that he could no longer hide, an unnatural fear of going to nursing home. I'm glad he is not suffering any more.

Does the state FIL lives in have an agency to come to his home and evaluate his ability to care for himself?
I'll be hoping better days are ahead for your family.
Best wishes,
MRG

My concern as well. My Father has Alzheimer's and while my Mom was living she was his primary care taker. Mom suffered some minor strokes, developed Dementia and started arguing with my sister who lived next door. She (Mom) then began making some very poor decisions and the ensuing fall out was not pretty. I hope your family can avoid that.

If it were me, I'd monitor the FIL carefully and humor him when I could (Make him think better decisions are his idea) and if necessary declare him incompetent- if it comes to that. Its certainly not an easy situation and people suffering from Dementia can be trouble some and make hurtful statements. Not pleasant but some pretty thick hide helps.

Good luck to you!

 

[ERD50]

Imagine diagnosing Alzheimers 10 or 20 years early:


Eye test may be able to detect Alzheimer's decades before onset - CBS News

Interesting, but that report is missing some key info:

Frost found that the test positively identified 100 percent of the participants who had Alzheimer's.

I could say the same about a "pulse test": ERD50 found that 100 percent of the participants who had Alzheimer's also had a pulse.

IOW, it isn't telling us how many false positives there are. None? Hopefully, this is a good test and leads to better treatments. Is it just eye drops and a scan?

-ERD50

 

[MichaelB]

Interesting, but that report is missing some key info:

I could say the same about a "pulse test": ERD50 found that 100 percent of the participants who had Alzheimer's also had a pulse.

IOW, it isn't telling us how many false positives there are. None? Hopefully, this is a good test and leads to better treatments. Is it just eye drops and a scan?

-ERD50

News releases from the mass media for the general public rarely show the depth of analysis we demand, but that doesn't mean the underlying report suffers the same deficiency. From the Alzheimers Association website AAIC Press Release | AAIC 2014

Preliminary results suggest that amyloid levels detected in the retina were significantly correlated with brain amyloid levels as shown by PET imaging. The retinal amyloid test also differentiated between Alzheimer's and non-Alzheimer's subjects with 100 percent sensitivity and 80.6 percent specificity.

Furthermore, longitudinal studies on an initial cohort demonstrated an average of 3.5% increase in retinal amyloid over a 3.5-month period of time demonstrating promise of the technique as a means for monitoring response to therapy.

So, it's a simple test that is low cost and easy to administer. It still has some accuracy weaknesses. It doesn't actually detect the presence of the disease, just a protein in the brain (amyloid) that is associated with AD. It also may track the progress of amyloid buildup, which would be a major breakthrough. (All this my layman's understanding)

OTOH, it is one study, not yet finished, not yet subject to peer review. So, a grain of salt and a healthy measure of patience.

 

[jimnjana]

My father was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. He suspected it (family history and he is a retired physician assistant with many years of experience working with Alzheimer's patients) based on his own observations of his memory failing and more difficulty with more complex tasks (balancing checkbook for example). He took it upon himself to have his PCP refer him for a brain scan.

So, his PCP has started him on the Exelon patch and I believe it is Namenda. Dad is considered to be in the Mild Stage of the Disease.

It was a blessing that my Dad recognized what was going on. Now at least, he is under medical care that may delay the progression of the disease. His Doctor told him that in December they'd evaluate whether or not the drugs seem to be helping him and then go from there. Apparently, the available drugs seem to help keep the disease from progressing in some cases and in others really don't help much at all.

My Dad is Diabetic and will turn 78 this November, he has lived longer than 5 or his 6 siblings. Mom will not be able to care for Dad in the later stages of the Disease. They know this and understand that decisions lie ahead.

 

[MichaelB]

jimnjana, sorry to hear about your dad. Hopefully it progresses very slowly and he enjoys many more years of quality life with his family.

 

[imoldernu]

Found this test...
as MichaelB notes:
So far, so good....but it's creeping up,,,

> Here's another trick of Doctor Dementia to test your skills...
>
>
> Can you meet this challenge?
>
>
> I've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers. Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long long, way down the road before it ever gets anywhere near you.
>
>
> 7H15 M3554G3
>
>
> 53RV35 7O PR0V3
>
>
> H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
>
>
> D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
>
>
> 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
>
>
> 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
>
>
> 17 WA5 H4RD BU7
>
>
> N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
>
>
> Y0UR M1ND 1S
>
>
> R34D1NG 17
>
>
> 4U70M471C4LLY
>
>
> W17H 0U7 3V3N
>
>
> 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
>
>
> B3 PROUD! 0NLY
>
>
> C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
>
>
> R3AD 7H15.
>
>
> PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
>
>
> U C4N R34D 7H15.
>
>
> To my 'selected' strange-minded friends: If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends with 'yes' in the subject line. Only great minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting!
>
>
> If you can raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid, too.
>
>
> Can you raed this? Olny 55 people out of 100 can.
>
>
> I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseaethe huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh?

 

[pb4uski]

Makes me wonder why I spent so much time to learn to spell.